Which Betrayal hurts more?

Physical/Emotional betrayal (cheating, infidelity) or Catastrophic betrayal ( ruining finances, scheming, criminal act) ?

Mostly I'm curious because of the whole Bernie Madoff, Ruth Madoff situation.

They are both Taurus'.

I was reading this article about how the discovery of Bernie Madoff's brief affair, was the "final straw" to losing Ruth's loyalty. She stuck by him through all of that craziness. But it's been reported that discovering his possible affair is what gave her that needed push to disengage from him.

In a twisted way I can sort of understand this. But I wonder if cheating would be much more devastating to me than financially ruining our family and other people's lives.

Cheating, emotional infidelity is far more damaging than shift of financial. Monetary is temporary. You can improve that by employment. Seek avenues of help through friends, family. Institutions put in place to assist. It's a temporary place. One you build brick by brick to breathe the fresh air out of.
The first is a real bitch to get out from under emotionally. It lays waste to everything you thought was stable, it rocks the very foundation of your self esteem. You have to crawl out from under the mental bullshit of thinking yourself undesirable or unlovable. Place the blame where it belongs.
It makes you wary of people, whom to trust implicitly. On the other side of that, you lean heavily into those that have always been there for you. Your touchstones.
I've been through both of these things. They both suck baboon butt. But the first is far more damaging.

Posted by venusianbull
Cheating, emotional infidelity is far more damaging than shift of financial. Monetary is temporary. You can improve that by employment. Seek avenues of help through friends, family. Institutions put in place to assist. It's a temporary place. One you build brick by brick to breathe the fresh air out of.
The first is a real bitch to get out from under emotionally. It lays waste to everything you thought was stable, it rocks the very foundation of your self esteem. You have to crawl out from under the mental bullshit of thinking yourself undesirable or unlovable. Place the blame where it belongs.
It makes you wary of people, whom to trust implicitly. On the other side of that, you lean heavily into those that have always been there for you. Your touchstones.
I've been through both of these things. They both suck baboon butt. But the first is far more damaging.

Yes! This perfectly explains it. I couldn't quite put my finger on why cheating would hurt me so much more. Since rationally and ethically, damaging lives seems so much worse. But VB you hit the nail on the head.

speaking of my attitude, physical and emotional betrayal is smth i cant bear. Of these two however, emotional betrayal is the one that would devastate more. It means the world of two is ruined, smth very intimate is gone, you are an alien. Probably for taurus people, at least most of them, fidelity and loyalty plays a vital role in a relationship.

I think it hurts like you're feeling the pain physically all over your body. Starting from you brain, then chest, stomache. Well i think you can bearly tolerate such a feeling for a long time in the presence of the one who betrayed. So a sober idea would be to isolate yourself from the cause of the pain.

I am not talking about financial here. Because in such a situation this would bother me the least in the world. I understand that when children are involved it makes the situation whole different. Because your decision would affect your close people, and you take responsibility for changing the lives of the ones you care for. But options of help from outside VB mentioned are there..

Only and only if the person who betrayed repents of what has happened, truly understands the guilt and wants to fix..
The question for me would rather be - will i be able to forgive? What value has this person in my life?
They say, one can never understand the true meaning of Forgiveness unless he/she was Betrayed.

I can help him get counseling for swindling people out of their money but when you cheat on me,
you make it person and now I cut you!

I'm no Taurus but in THIS particular case, I wouldn't be able to look past what he'd done to so many people. Families other than my own, affected by someone I'd never in a million years think capable of such a scheme. Someone i loved and trusted. In this case it would hurt me much more than cheating.