Men’s logic … is it based on maturity level or no?

I can’t seem to wrap my head on this one. I honestly try to ignore it but it’s a bit impossible. This is the puzzling part: There was a time I was getting to know a guy who upfront told me about the women he was with before me without hesitation and trust was built on the fact he could tell me and I wouldn’t get upset since we were not an item (for me honest communication is important).

This is the part I don’t get (fast forward a couple of months): Now he is seeing someone else long distance (he claims he is single but talking/seeing this girl) and she has wondered what kind of relationship we had (whether or not we were intimate) he responded to her that no just that we kissed (clear throat yeah right jaja).

After he told me this I asked him why he was able to be open with me and not with her and his response is that he doesn’t want to have problems with this girl (which she has expressed to him she doesn’t want him speaking to me) and doesn’t want to lose my friendship if he does tell her.

All I want to know is why would a guy (jaja) be completely honest with me but not with her?

😕

You know, I got a good deal on spark plugs the other day....

Just because a guy is able to vent or be completely open with you in communication, it doesn't mean he likes you better than her or you have some privilege over the other woman. I'm not saying it is your intention to hear dxpers say he likes you better, but subconsciously women like to believe they are above another woman because the guy is candid and openly communicates with them.

I've had a lottttttttttttttttttttttt of men open up to me and confide in me about their personal stuff. When I was younger I used to feel superior about it because I took that as having privilege over another woman (the guy's wife or gf). I was thinking, "Wow, he must like me better because he's very honest with me and can be comfortable with me, but not his wife/gf. Hence, I'm better." That's not the case.

With time, age, experience and maturity, I've come to realization that it wasn't what I thought. It was simply that I was easy to talk to and a good listener. Good listeners are goldmine to any gender. Every person loves being heard. Moreover, I wasn't someone of interest that they felt the need to impress by lying or even omitting unfavorable information about themselves. We tread carefully with people we want to impress and aren't truly honest. It's sad, but it's the way we work. We want our romantic interest to like us or find us appealing, so even if we're not lying to them, we definitely aren't open either.

Posted by CancerOnTheCusp
You know, I got a good deal on spark plugs the other day....

So did I .... on a car battery jajaja

Posted by aquarius09
Just because a guy is able to vent or be completely open with you in communication, it doesn't mean he likes you better than her or you have some privilege over the other woman. I'm not saying it is your intention to hear dxpers say he likes you better, but subconsciously women like to believe they are above another woman because the guy is candid and openly communicates with them.

I've had a lottttttttttttttttttttttt of men open up to me and confide in me about their personal stuff. When I was younger I used to feel superior about it because I took that as having privilege over another woman (the guy's wife or gf). I was thinking, "Wow, he must like me better because he's very honest with me and can be comfortable with me, but not his wife/gf. Hence, I'm better." That's not the case.

With time, age, experience and maturity, I've come to realization that it wasn't what I thought. It was simply that I was easy to talk to and a good listener. Good listeners are goldmine to any gender. Every person loves being heard. Moreover, I wasn't someone of interest that they felt the need to impress by lying or even omitting unfavorable information about themselves. We tread carefully with people we want to impress and aren't truly honest. It's sad, but it's the way we work. We want our romantic interest to like us or find us appealing, so even if we're not lying to them, we definitely aren't open either.

Thank you for your opinion ... I appreciate it!