riseafterall
@risesafterall
10 Years1,000+ Posts
Comments: 28 ยท Posts: 1067 ยท Topics: 48


Posted by GoooberKind of yeah.
Based upon what I've seen, they usually reject these guys because they're usually lacking in the looks department and aren't charming.
These women who say this also want a balance, they don't want a complete ''nice guy'' they want some bad boy in their too.

Posted by MontgomeryThat could be another factor too. I agree.Posted by GoooberKind of yeah.
Based upon what I've seen, they usually reject these guys because they're usually lacking in the looks department and aren't charming.
These women who say this also want a balance, they don't want a complete ''nice guy'' they want some bad boy in their too.
I wouldn't say it's looks so much as a lack of chemistry.
click to expand


Posted by beautifuldiasterWell, I'm only basing it off of what I see majority of the time.Posted by GoooberNot for me.
Based upon what I've seen, they usually reject these guys because they're usually lacking in the looks department and aren't charming.
These women who say this also want a balance, they don't want a complete ''nice guy'' they want some bad boy in their too.
The men I'm attracted to are labeled, " nerdy, geeky, and vanilla. "
A man's compassion and honesty turn me on. Bad boys need not apply. I don't have room to deal with a derelict.
I need a soul morphing connection. And I have a thing for the good men.
Think it's society that creates that illusion that women want someone, "tough?"click to expand

Posted by beautifuldiasterYeah, it puzzles me too. They know these guys are douche bags, yet they still go for them.Posted by GoooberAh I see. ๐Posted by beautifuldiasterWell, I'm only basing it off of what I see majority of the time.Posted by GoooberNot for me.
Based upon what I've seen, they usually reject these guys because they're usually lacking in the looks department and aren't charming.
These women who say this also want a balance, they don't want a complete ''nice guy'' they want some bad boy in their too.
The men I'm attracted to are labeled, " nerdy, geeky, and vanilla. "
A man's compassion and honesty turn me on. Bad boys need not apply. I don't have room to deal with a derelict.
I need a soul morphing connection. And I have a thing for the good men.
Think it's society that creates that illusion that women want someone, "tough?"
I wish I had more to offer but I never understood why any woman would want a " bad boy."
I ALWAYS went for the studious ones. The church goers and the bullied.
click to expand

Posted by beautifuldiasterI think it's a priority issue. They value somethings just a little too much. The bad guys are usually the charmers, the good looking ones, the ones with status, the ones with sex appeal ect. A guy having those qualities will put them into a trance. God forbid they sleep with these guys and the sex is great, it's a wrap.Posted by GoooberSelf confidence issue?Posted by beautifuldiasterYeah, it puzzles me too. They know these guys are douche bags, yet they still go for them.Posted by GoooberAh I see. ๐Posted by beautifuldiasterWell, I'm only basing it off of what I see majority of the time.Posted by GoooberNot for me.
Based upon what I've seen, they usually reject these guys because they're usually lacking in the looks department and aren't charming.
These women who say this also want a balance, they don't want a complete ''nice guy'' they want some bad boy in their too.
The men I'm attracted to are labeled, " nerdy, geeky, and vanilla. "
A man's compassion and honesty turn me on. Bad boys need not apply. I don't have room to deal with a derelict.
I need a soul morphing connection. And I have a thing for the good men.
Think it's society that creates that illusion that women want someone, "tough?"
I wish I had more to offer but I never understood why any woman would want a " bad boy."
I ALWAYS went for the studious ones. The church goers and the bullied.
The media does push health and body image.... ?click to expand
Posted by GoooberPosted by beautifuldiasterI think it's a priority issue. They value somethings just a little too much. The bad guys are usually the charmers, the good looking ones, the ones with status, the ones with sex appeal ect. A guy having those qualities will put them into a trance. God forbid they sleep with these guys and the sex is great, it's a wrap.Posted by GoooberSelf confidence issue?Posted by beautifuldiasterYeah, it puzzles me too. They know these guys are douche bags, yet they still go for them.Posted by GoooberAh I see. ๐Posted by beautifuldiasterWell, I'm only basing it off of what I see majority of the time.Posted by GoooberNot for me.
Based upon what I've seen, they usually reject these guys because they're usually lacking in the looks department and aren't charming.
These women who say this also want a balance, they don't want a complete ''nice guy'' they want some bad boy in their too.
The men I'm attracted to are labeled, " nerdy, geeky, and vanilla. "
A man's compassion and honesty turn me on. Bad boys need not apply. I don't have room to deal with a derelict.
I need a soul morphing connection. And I have a thing for the good men.
Think it's society that creates that illusion that women want someone, "tough?"
I wish I had more to offer but I never understood why any woman would want a " bad boy."
I ALWAYS went for the studious ones. The church goers and the bullied.
The media does push health and body image.... ?click to expand
Posted by beautifuldiasteraw that's SO sweet, BD.Posted by GoooberAh I see. ๐Posted by beautifuldiasterWell, I'm only basing it off of what I see majority of the time.Posted by GoooberNot for me.
Based upon what I've seen, they usually reject these guys because they're usually lacking in the looks department and aren't charming.
These women who say this also want a balance, they don't want a complete ''nice guy'' they want some bad boy in their too.
The men I'm attracted to are labeled, " nerdy, geeky, and vanilla. "
A man's compassion and honesty turn me on. Bad boys need not apply. I don't have room to deal with a derelict.
I need a soul morphing connection. And I have a thing for the good men.
Think it's society that creates that illusion that women want someone, "tough?"
I wish I had more to offer but I never understood why any woman would want a " bad boy."
I ALWAYS went for the studious ones. The church goers and the bullied.
click to expand

Posted by GoooberWho's more exciting, someone whose attention and approval you already have, or someone whose attention and approval you got to earn? Prettiii self-explanatory.Posted by beautifuldiasterYeah, it puzzles me too. They know these guys are douche bags, yet they still go for them.
I wish I had more to offer but I never understood why any woman would want a " bad boy."
I ALWAYS went for the studious ones. The church goers and the bullied.
click to expand

Posted by risesafterallBlame it on society's glamorization of all things dangerous, including men. Only women who have matured (no matter the age) to understand that relationship security is a MUST will actually look for and be open to men who are sweet, providing just that. So, while women may mature faster than men when it comes to actually relating to one another, we don't mature faster when it comes to knowing what's good for us. We tend to gravitate towards men who don't provide security for longer periods of time than men gravitate towards women who aren't loving/nurturing.
Why is it that women often say they want someone who loves and cares about them, but overlook the men that do?
And then complain why they can't find someone like that?

Posted by beautifuldiasterThat's a good question.
Ugh.
All of it makes me skirm.
You are onto something with the priority bit. Why don't women put their priorities in order to preserve their self worth?
Is it possible that the parents are to blame? Or media? How does one get their priorities so mixed upโ?

Posted by enfant_terribleThis is true.Posted by GoooberWho's more exciting, someone whose attention and approval you already have, or someone whose attention and approval you got to earn? Prettiii self-explanatory.Posted by beautifuldiasterYeah, it puzzles me too. They know these guys are douche bags, yet they still go for them.
I wish I had more to offer but I never understood why any woman would want a " bad boy."
I ALWAYS went for the studious ones. The church goers and the bullied.
click to expand


Posted by beautifuldiasterNah, see with that thought-pattern you're already indulging in the illusion that something more might become of it. You're already shark food.
In the end I think we should all go with the flow and have fun and if something becomes of it... then good!

Posted by beautifuldiasterAh yeah... if it weren't for the fact that definition of "fun" differs between the sexes.
Not entirely.
If I'm in it for fun and never engage in any sexual or physical behavior, then it is all fun, correct.

Posted by beautifuldiasterThat would be friendzone territory. Or Mormon.
Imagine it was with someone of the same sex and you're straight.
Same concept.

Posted by iCloud9I never put anyone in danger, but when VERY young, I was also attracted to the bad boy. After that experience, I dated lots of straight laced police/cop like guys. lol Then I realized that they were emo cold and I swayed towards good clean, well dressed, arrogant men who ooze class. *sighs*...I'm still there. lol The arrogance. Lawd. That's the part that I can honestly do without.
it has a lot to do with maturity, at least for me
i was attracted to self proclaimed gangster type when i was young and naive and got myself one lol. it brought out a side that scared the heck out of me. i lost control of my crazy emotion and put lives in danger for a split second. and i only dated him for couple months can you imagine if longer someone would be dead for real lol. i completely lost attraction to this type after that. they ceased to exist to me. i guess my instinct didn't want me to become a murderer and ruin a good life ahead of me.

Posted by Rambunctious76This is true too.Posted by GoooberGreed.Posted by MontgomeryThat could be another factor too. I agree.Posted by GoooberKind of yeah.
Based upon what I've seen, they usually reject these guys because they're usually lacking in the looks department and aren't charming.
These women who say this also want a balance, they don't want a complete ''nice guy'' they want some bad boy in their too.
I wouldn't say it's looks so much as a lack of chemistry.
They want everything and are unwilling to compromise (mostly in the looks department). I feel like vomiting every time someone says she wants a man who has everything.click to expand

Posted by MontgomeryLack of chemistry, and possible other issues that they pick up on (intuition) that makes them not a good match. Just because someone loves and cares for you doesn't mean they're the person you should marry and live with.Posted by GoooberKind of yeah.
Based upon what I've seen, they usually reject these guys because they're usually lacking in the looks department and aren't charming.
These women who say this also want a balance, they don't want a complete ''nice guy'' they want some bad boy in their too.
I wouldn't say it's looks so much as a lack of chemistry.
click to expand

Posted by GoooberThose things aren't to be blamed. It takes honest, hard introspection to analyze one's priorities and modify them if needed. It's more about maturity.Posted by beautifuldiasterThat's a good question.
Ugh.
All of it makes me skirm.
You are onto something with the priority bit. Why don't women put their priorities in order to preserve their self worth?
Is it possible that the parents are to blame? Or media? How does one get their priorities so mixed upโ?
I thought about this for a while and couldn't come to a conclusion.click to expand

Posted by MoonArtistAgreed.Posted by GoooberThose things aren't to be blamed. It takes honest, hard introspection to analyze one's priorities and modify them if needed. It's more about maturity.Posted by beautifuldiasterThat's a good question.
Ugh.
All of it makes me skirm.
You are onto something with the priority bit. Why don't women put their priorities in order to preserve their self worth?
Is it possible that the parents are to blame? Or media? How does one get their priorities so mixed upโ?
I thought about this for a while and couldn't come to a conclusion.click to expand

Posted by MoonArtistAdding: it really bugs me that people have this idea that just because someone FEELS a certain way (say they have the raging hots for you), that you're somehow OBLIGATED to reciprocate or give them what they want.Posted by MontgomeryLack of chemistry, and possible other issues that they pick up on (intuition) that makes them not a good match. Just because someone loves and cares for you doesn't mean they're the person you should marry and live with.Posted by GoooberKind of yeah.
Based upon what I've seen, they usually reject these guys because they're usually lacking in the looks department and aren't charming.
These women who say this also want a balance, they don't want a complete ''nice guy'' they want some bad boy in their too.
I wouldn't say it's looks so much as a lack of chemistry.
click to expand

Posted by MoonArtistI know right. It's not fun being in that awkward position. I should know. People need to learn boundaries.Posted by MoonArtistAdding: it really bugs me that people have this idea that just because someone FEELS a certain way (say they have the raging hots for you), that you're somehow OBLIGATED to reciprocate or give them what they want.Posted by MontgomeryLack of chemistry, and possible other issues that they pick up on (intuition) that makes them not a good match. Just because someone loves and cares for you doesn't mean they're the person you should marry and live with.Posted by GoooberKind of yeah.
Based upon what I've seen, they usually reject these guys because they're usually lacking in the looks department and aren't charming.
These women who say this also want a balance, they don't want a complete ''nice guy'' they want some bad boy in their too.
I wouldn't say it's looks so much as a lack of chemistry.
click to expand


Posted by GoooberYep!Posted by MoonArtistI know right. It's not fun being in that awkward position. I should know. People need to learn boundaries.Posted by MoonArtistAdding: it really bugs me that people have this idea that just because someone FEELS a certain way (say they have the raging hots for you), that you're somehow OBLIGATED to reciprocate or give them what they want.Posted by MontgomeryLack of chemistry, and possible other issues that they pick up on (intuition) that makes them not a good match. Just because someone loves and cares for you doesn't mean they're the person you should marry and live with.Posted by GoooberKind of yeah.
Based upon what I've seen, they usually reject these guys because they're usually lacking in the looks department and aren't charming.
These women who say this also want a balance, they don't want a complete ''nice guy'' they want some bad boy in their too.
I wouldn't say it's looks so much as a lack of chemistry.
click to expand

Posted by MontgomeryI've seen this, too. The nice guy who cares is a fake at that point! True colors shining through!
The so-called nice guys aren't so nice anymore,
when the feels are not reciprocated.
They're bitter, and you're a bitch.


Posted by cheekyfaerieThere seems to be this idea that women are supposed to be DESPERATE and incapable of being happily single, so if they pass on guys who don't pass muster, but who put on a good act of being the super nice guy who really cares, something MUST be wrong with these women. Like hold the fucking press!! Who gave women the right to change the Disney Princess script?! .........WE did! That's right! Women got a clue and a spine and stopped looking for validation via a relationship.Posted by MoonArtistRight?!Posted by MoonArtistAdding: it really bugs me that people have this idea that just because someone FEELS a certain way (say they have the raging hots for you), that you're somehow OBLIGATED to reciprocate or give them what they want.Posted by MontgomeryLack of chemistry, and possible other issues that they pick up on (intuition) that makes them not a good match. Just because someone loves and cares for you doesn't mean they're the person you should marry and live with.Posted by GoooberKind of yeah.
Based upon what I've seen, they usually reject these guys because they're usually lacking in the looks department and aren't charming.
These women who say this also want a balance, they don't want a complete ''nice guy'' they want some bad boy in their too.
I wouldn't say it's looks so much as a lack of chemistry.
Just because a chick doesn't go for the first guy to try to buy her dinner doesn't mean she automatically wants a bad boy. Stay single and picky long enough and you either find the right one or you become comfortable with your own company. What's so wrong with that?click to expand

Posted by risesafterallMaybe because women do not know what they want? so they want someone to tell them what they want, someone who will take charge of their lives for them, of course the only people who will do this are the sociopaths, psychopaths and control freaks.
Why is it that women often say they want someone who loves and cares about them, but overlook the men that do?
And then complain why they can't find someone like that?

Posted by risesafterallProbably because attraction and relationships are about a package deal, not one thing. Sure, a guy might care for me, but what else do I like about him and are his flaws acceptable?
Why is it that women often say they want someone who loves and cares about them, but overlook the men that do?
And then complain why they can't find someone like that?

Posted by AkumoBWAHAHAHAHA!!! Absolutely not!! I don't want anyone thinking they can control me or tell me what to do. Friends, family or a partner can give advice, but control me? No.Posted by risesafterallMaybe because women do not know what they want? so they want someone to tell them what they want, someone who will take charge of their lives for them, of course the only people who will do this are the sociopaths, psychopaths and control freaks.
Why is it that women often say they want someone who loves and cares about them, but overlook the men that do?
And then complain why they can't find someone like that?
The genuinely good guys would never impose or force themselves or their opinions on to someone else, result they are seen as being weak, not an endearing trait to certain female groups of the population.click to expand


Posted by AkumoThat I do, and I'm not settling for less. I'm comfortable with my own company, and I'd rather have my own company than settle for someone out of "loneliness" and end up miserable with that person.
Well MoonArtist, maybe you already know what you want? ๐

Posted by MoonArtistThat is good to hear but I can only comment form personal experience and observation and one of my wife's complaints abut me is that I am not controlling her more, and being more dominant in the relationship, I like to see a relationship with us being equals where as she wants me to take all the responsibility for everything.Posted by AkumoThat I do, and I'm not settling for less. I'm comfortable with my own company, and I'd rather have my own company than settle for someone out of "loneliness" and end up miserable with that person.
Well MoonArtist, maybe you already know what you want? ๐click to expand

Posted by AkumoI'm the same: I want an equal and to be treated as an equal, and I don't like pushing my ways on another anymore than I want them to push their stuff on me. I don't see there being a fine line between controlling and supporting. Controlling takes away the other person's choices and options. Supporting is about being there in the capacity needed by another (emotional, etc).Posted by MoonArtistThat is good to hear but I can only comment form personal experience and observation and one of my wife's complaints abut me is that I am not controlling her more, and being more dominant in the relationship, I like to see a relationship with us being equals where as she wants me to take all the responsibility for everything.Posted by AkumoThat I do, and I'm not settling for less. I'm comfortable with my own company, and I'd rather have my own company than settle for someone out of "loneliness" and end up miserable with that person.
Well MoonArtist, maybe you already know what you want? ๐
One of things about me though is that I will not force my self or my opinions on another person I will state a given situation as I see it and give advice if asked,and it is then entirely up to that other person as to what they do with that information.
Ultimately it is a no win scenario, if I control what she can or cannot do then she will end up resenting me, even if she does reach her goals, whatever they maybe, and if I do not then she ends up unhappy.
I will though if asked to help and support someone do all that I can that the other person requires but sometimes there can be a fine line between supporting someone and controlling someone.click to expand

Posted by MoonArtistAs to whether or not someone is seen as being supporting or controlling depends on the current and past relationship between the two people and their respective personalities, I did say sometimes and how they see the situation, but I do agree with you that supporting someone should involve offering help and guidance in order to help them out of their predicament, where as with controlling someone options maybe given but those options will not be realistic so ultimately there is no choice.Posted by AkumoI'm the same: I want an equal and to be treated as an equal, and I don't like pushing my ways on another anymore than I want them to push their stuff on me. I don't see there being a fine line between controlling and supporting. Controlling takes away the other person's choices and options. Supporting is about being there in the capacity needed by another (emotional, etc).Posted by MoonArtistThat is good to hear but I can only comment form personal experience and observation and one of my wife's complaints abut me is that I am not controlling her more, and being more dominant in the relationship, I like to see a relationship with us being equals where as she wants me to take all the responsibility for everything.Posted by AkumoThat I do, and I'm not settling for less. I'm comfortable with my own company, and I'd rather have my own company than settle for someone out of "loneliness" and end up miserable with that person.
Well MoonArtist, maybe you already know what you want? ๐
One of things about me though is that I will not force my self or my opinions on another person I will state a given situation as I see it and give advice if asked,and it is then entirely up to that other person as to what they do with that information.
Ultimately it is a no win scenario, if I control what she can or cannot do then she will end up resenting me, even if she does reach her goals, whatever they maybe, and if I do not then she ends up unhappy.
I will though if asked to help and support someone do all that I can that the other person requires but sometimes there can be a fine line between supporting someone and controlling someone.
Maybe your wife is a submissive and wants a dom. This isn't always a hard bdsm thing, as it gets portrayed.click to expand

Posted by AkumoPosted by MoonArtistAs to whether or not someone is seen as being supporting or controlling depends on the current and past relationship between the two people and their respective personalities, I did say sometimes and how they see the situation, but I do agree with you that supporting someone should involve offering help and guidance in order to help them out of their predicament, where as with controlling someone options maybe given but those options will not be realistic so ultimately there is no choice.Posted by AkumoI'm the same: I want an equal and to be treated as an equal, and I don't like pushing my ways on another anymore than I want them to push their stuff on me. I don't see there being a fine line between controlling and supporting. Controlling takes away the other person's choices and options. Supporting is about being there in the capacity needed by another (emotional, etc).Posted by MoonArtistThat is good to hear but I can only comment form personal experience and observation and one of my wife's complaints abut me is that I am not controlling her more, and being more dominant in the relationship, I like to see a relationship with us being equals where as she wants me to take all the responsibility for everything.Posted by AkumoThat I do, and I'm not settling for less. I'm comfortable with my own company, and I'd rather have my own company than settle for someone out of "loneliness" and end up miserable with that person.
Well MoonArtist, maybe you already know what you want? ๐
One of things about me though is that I will not force my self or my opinions on another person I will state a given situation as I see it and give advice if asked,and it is then entirely up to that other person as to what they do with that information.
Ultimately it is a no win scenario, if I control what she can or cannot do then she will end up resenting me, even if she does reach her goals, whatever they maybe, and if I do not then she ends up unhappy.
I will though if asked to help and support someone do all that I can that the other person requires but sometimes there can be a fine line between supporting someone and controlling someone.
Maybe your wife is a submissive and wants a dom. This isn't always a hard bdsm thing, as it gets portrayed.click to expand
And yes my wife does want someone more dominant but this is not my personality (it might be to do with her being a Libra she finds it difficult to make
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And then complain why they can't find someone like that?