Cancer girl confused by Virgo friend.

I have been friends with this Virgo guy for a few years now. Recently we've gotten closer and had some really deep conversation. He helped me out after I broke up with my boyfriend, and I really value his advice. Everything was going fine until the other night when he came over and we fooled around. He said he was drunk, but I've seen him drunk many times and he just didn't seem like he was. We didn't go "all the way", and I didn't do anything to him, he was very into pleasing me. Anyhoo, after it was all over we said that we should just remain friends. The next morning he texted me and said "sorry about last night" and "I'm glad nothing else happened, things would be weird". We normally hang out on Friday nights with a few other friends so I asked him to stop by and he seemed really distant. He always responds to my texts, but he was ignoring me and then finally responded with things like "STFU". I felt really shitty about losing my friend, so I ended up walking to his house last night, in the pouring rain after having a few drinks. I'm pretty sure it was the exact opposite of what I should have done. I just told him that I thought he was pissed at me and acting weird. He ended up giving me a ride home and I told him I liked him after he drilled it out of me. He said "we're friends" a few times, it seemed as if he was trying to remind himself of that. I apologized for showing up at his house and he apologized for doing what he did the other night, he said that "we're even now". We shook hands and said "friends". The whole thing seems so cold. I do like him, but I'm fine with just being friends. I'm worried I ruined everything between us.

Thanks for reading, sorry it was so long!

Oh dear! I can't say that you have to forget him! Goodness, I think that would make him feel even worse if you dropped him... other signs, it might bring them to their senses, but a Virgo, I think he would only bow to it, and be so sad about it. We are easily discouraged.

I think he just went farther than he'd intended. Obviously has some feelings for you, but hadn't yet decided how or whether to approach things. Then love and sex just took over. Believe me that is so easy to have happen with you Cancers. You are really so seductive. I don't mean that you behave seductively necessarily, but you are just so... attractive and so nice and so welcoming...

So we do something impulsive maybe and then we think oh dear, what message did I send, was I ready to do that? So you really do need to be his friend. But being his friend may mean backing off for awhile. Just to let him know you really do have no expectation and that you really are his friend.

Obviously he's attracted to you, because a Virgo won't behave that way, certainly won't take the initiative like that unless it is pretty powerful. And apparently you are attracted to him too. So it's all good. I can't believe you'll really be apart for long, but if you let the misunderstanding fester, it could happen. His shaking hands and saying "friends," even if it may have seemed cold to you, was his attempt to ensure that won't happen. So I would say, just act normal. Things won't necessarily go back to what they were, but that may not be what you want anyway! I think things can progress... as long as you just stay your sweet self.

Athena

Hmm...
I'm not sure what to think. Thank you all for your thoughts. They're helping me see different angles, I really appreciate your time!

Hmm... Is it only me who thinks that this man is being honest with himself?

If I were the guy and I did shaking and saying "friends", it means I am trying to tell you (honestly) that we should really be friend. For me, I am not going to do the "shaking" if I have feeling for you or I saw you as potential one. But, I'll be shy away in a way if it's the other way around, such as denying that I have feeling for you in words, but my action tells otherwise.

Don't mistaken us for helping you, as a friend, for having a feeling. I think we virgos love to help others, arent we?

Just my 2 cents.

Confused By A Virgo Friend

Find Anyone Who Isnt LMAO

LOL @ Dogsbody!!!!

*Throw rocks @dogsbody*

LOL

Are you new phirgo—

"Hmm... Is it only me who thinks that this man is being honest with himself?"

You are not alone in this thought at all. I do believe that he was being honest with me at the time. I'm sure he was a little caught off guard because I appeared at his house, drenched in rain, right before he was about to go to sleep. I'm surprised he didn't tell me off. I think a hug would have just made matters worse (not to mention he would have soaked his PJ's!). I thought the handshake was a very telling gesture. If only intimacy hadn't been involved, I wouldn't feel so lost. The thing that's making matters weird is that when we "hooked up" he was doing things to me without wanting anything in return ,so it's not like he "got off". IMO it's usually the other way around with guys. Maybe he did get off...maybe that's his bread and butter? Hahaha.

Ouch. Crabs can really pinch when they feel unfairly treated.

Athena

lol

"The thing that's making matters weird is that when we "hooked up" he was doing things to me without wanting anything in return ,so it's not like he "got off". IMO it's usually the other way around with guys. Maybe he did get off...maybe that's his bread and butter? Hahaha."

I have often wondered this myself about my other half, the Virgo man. I had a lover once who always wanted to get me off consistently with nothing in return. It was almost like it gave him a deep happiness of some sort? Anyone else experience this natural phenomenon? I'd be curious to get a perspective on that! LOL 🙂

I second that Tondalea.

This was my first experience with a Virguy, so I was really shocked at how great it was and how sexy he made me feel. My other experiences are with Cancer's and Capricorns (fun, but sooo rigid) and a bit of Pisces lustiness. I've never been as satisfied as I was with the Virgo (although we didn't go "all the way") It was like he worshipped me and I didn't owe him a thing (although I would have gladly reciprocated)...I need some more of that!

My thought about them satisfying you and wanting nothing in return is that yeah, this is safe for them because that way they don't lose control. I personally want to see that loss of control, so I'd be the one more likely to forego my own satisfaction just to see that happen. But of course I am a Virgo too. But I want to be able to lose control as well, but if I feel like someone else is controlling the situation then I have to stay awake. I have always wished for mutual loss of control... maybe had it, for a fleeting moment here and there.

Athena

"The thing that's making matters weird is that when we "hooked up" he was doing things to me without wanting anything in return ,so it's not like he "got off". IMO it's usually the other way around with guys. Maybe he did get off...maybe that's his bread and butter? Hahaha."

damn right he did ... cancer girls generally have these amazingly feminine bodies that make one want to kiss them all over and bite in the right places.