Confused on Virgo boyfriend texting

Just to give the whole backstory, we met in January of ‘23 and started dating. I was 3 months sober at the time and decided I didn’t think a boyfriend was a good idea because I was still in the process of recalibrating my brain and I needed to do that alone.

Jump to January of this year. He reached out to me. I went for it. He’s great! On March 9th he asked me to be his girlfriend. Yes! Awesome. Then on March 14th I got life changing news. My mom whose a snowbird and goes to SC for the winter has been diagnosed with cancer. It’s everywhere. I flew down 900 miles to be with her over the weekend. Then a week after I got back my work was basically like “go be with her. Just take your office phone and work from home.” So, I did. I’ve been here since March 27. He’s been incredible. I feel horrible because for the most part I’m also incredible but it’s been difficult to show that. He’s been going to my house every other day to feed my cats. I work and I cry and I take care of my dying mother. On May 14th her oncologist said she has about a month left to live. It’s been difficult. I feel like he’s been…disconnecting. He just doesn’t text me as much. The vibe is different. Idk. I wrote him a love letter a month ago and put kissy lips on it from lipstick with my perfume. A shirt I bought him that I know he’ll love will be delivered today. We still sext once a week. He started a new job. I know obvi he can’t really text, but he doesn’t much before or after. What brought me here now was no good morning text. I sent good morning text. He sent one back. He’s not in work now but starts at 8 instead of 7 as it’s usually been. Still upset he didn’t tell me that when FaceTiming last night. We FaceTime when he’s at my house feeding the cats mostly. Not sure if he’d want more than that. Might be a bit much, but my mom really wanted to meet him and FaceTime him so he did. Tears at the end. I know I’m putting a lottttt on this dude. But he offered to feed the kitties. I just don’t know if I should actually be worried. I have a lot on my plate right now, and idk. I asked him if there was anything I could do to make him feel comfortable and secure. He says I’ve been great. So yea. Kinda just wanted to share my story. Idk

You've been gone for two months and there is still more grief and emotional turmoil awaiting if your mother passes soon.

He's probably just discouraged as there is no timeline here of when you'll be in a better place mentally. There's no way to communicate really without discussing the scenario and asking how she's doing, so he backed off..

Bad timing honestly.. The same week you get together, you had to leave indefinitely.

I agree with Sagicon iust worry about your precious mom at this point because you don't have much more time with her. Men come and go.

Posted by DonnaLibra
I agree with Sagicon iust worry about your precious mom at this point because you don't have much more time with her. Men come and go.

This …. Forget men and focus on your mum

Posted by Confussedlibra924
Just to give the whole backstory, we met in January of ‘23 and started dating. I was 3 months sober at the time and decided I didn’t think a boyfriend was a good idea because I was still in the process of recalibrating my brain and I needed to do that alone.

Jump to January of this year. He reached out to me. I went for it. He’s great! On March 9th he asked me to be his girlfriend. Yes! Awesome. Then on March 14th I got life changing news. My mom whose a snowbird and goes to SC for the winter has been diagnosed with cancer. It’s everywhere. I flew down 900 miles to be with her over the weekend. Then a week after I got back my work was basically like “go be with her. Just take your office phone and work from home.” So, I did. I’ve been here since March 27. He’s been incredible. I feel horrible because for the most part I’m also incredible but it’s been difficult to show that. He’s been going to my house every other day to feed my cats. I work and I cry and I take care of my dying mother. On May 14th her oncologist said she has about a month left to live. It’s been difficult. I feel like he’s been…disconnecting. He just doesn’t text me as much. The vibe is different. Idk. I wrote him a love letter a month ago and put kissy lips on it from lipstick with my perfume. A shirt I bought him that I know he’ll love will be delivered today. We still sext once a week. He started a new job. I know obvi he can’t really text, but he doesn’t much before or after. What brought me here now was no good morning text. I sent good morning text. He sent one back. He’s not in work now but starts at 8 instead of 7 as it’s usually been. Still upset he didn’t tell me that when FaceTiming last night. We FaceTime when he’s at my house feeding the cats mostly. Not sure if he’d want more than that. Might be a bit much, but my mom really wanted to meet him and FaceTime him so he did. Tears at the end. I know I’m putting a lottttt on this dude. But he offered to feed the kitties. I just don’t know if I should actually be worried. I have a lot on my plate right now, and idk. I asked him if there was anything I could do to make him feel comfortable and secure. He says I’ve been great. So yea. Kinda just wanted to share my story. Idk

Interesting story, thanks for share.

Going to your house and feeding your kittens everyday is pretty cool.

Sounds like you are worried about LDR status of the relationship you just started.

Don't.

Development on this relationship is on pause.

It is what it is. Sure he feels the same way about this.

He's been interested in you for 2.5 years, without an incessant texting going on.

Texting doesn't make a relationship. Feeling obliged to text on a daily basis could feel like a chore.

Focus on your mother right now. He started a new job, so his focus is elsewhere too atm.

* 1.5 years *

Posted by TotallyFakeName
I’m so sorry about your mother x

Me too 😢

It’s really hard when your parents are sick 💔

Posted by Confussedlibra924
Just to give the whole backstory, we met in January of ‘23 and started dating. I was 3 months sober at the time and decided I didn’t think a boyfriend was a good idea because I was still in the process of recalibrating my brain and I needed to do that alone.

Jump to January of this year. He reached out to me. I went for it. He’s great! On March 9th he asked me to be his girlfriend. Yes! Awesome. Then on March 14th I got life changing news. My mom whose a snowbird and goes to SC for the winter has been diagnosed with cancer. It’s everywhere. I flew down 900 miles to be with her over the weekend. Then a week after I got back my work was basically like “go be with her. Just take your office phone and work from home.” So, I did. I’ve been here since March 27. He’s been incredible. I feel horrible because for the most part I’m also incredible but it’s been difficult to show that. He’s been going to my house every other day to feed my cats. I work and I cry and I take care of my dying mother. On May 14th her oncologist said she has about a month left to live. It’s been difficult. I feel like he’s been…disconnecting. He just doesn’t text me as much. The vibe is different. Idk. I wrote him a love letter a month ago and put kissy lips on it from lipstick with my perfume. A shirt I bought him that I know he’ll love will be delivered today. We still sext once a week. He started a new job. I know obvi he can’t really text, but he doesn’t much before or after. What brought me here now was no good morning text. I sent good morning text. He sent one back. He’s not in work now but starts at 8 instead of 7 as it’s usually been. Still upset he didn’t tell me that when FaceTiming last night. We FaceTime when he’s at my house feeding the cats mostly. Not sure if he’d want more than that. Might be a bit much, but my mom really wanted to meet him and FaceTime him so he did. Tears at the end. I know I’m putting a lottttt on this dude. But he offered to feed the kitties. I just don’t know if I should actually be worried. I have a lot on my plate right now, and idk. I asked him if there was anything I could do to make him feel comfortable and secure. He says I’ve been great. So yea. Kinda just wanted to share my story. Idk

You're worrying for nothing. He's still feeding your cats right?? He's not communicating with you because of your situation and his understanding of your needs to process and experience what you are going through. If you call him more, he will call you more. Did you tell him thank you for being there for you?? He's being available within the capacity of what you're displaying your needs for him right now. I'm confused about why you don't understand that?? He's not trying to invade your privacy. He's not trying to pressure information or emotions out of you. He's simply being what you're showing you need from him. Simply place yourself in the man's shoes...

And BTW, I'm a Virgo with a Libra. Believe me, his primary focus is your mental, emotional, and physical state. Libras have the tendency to bottle up emotions and them boom!!! There are comfort lines here that I, as a Virgo would never cross unless a person is comfortable with the idea. Given the situation with your mom, he understands that your energy needs to be there. He's not trying to tear down your walls. He's waiting for you to open the door and willingly share... Your feelings, thoughts, and to provide comfort only when given the green light to do so. This is the way a Virgo thinks.