CONFUSED SCORP - ADVICE NEEDED......

I'm a Scorp (8 Nov 1977) and dated a virgo guy (11 sept 1981) when we were at high school. I remember how much I liked him and how well we got on together but for some reason he broke up with me and we both moved on. Fast forward about 17 years and we are in touch again and here in lies the problem.........I am currently very unhappily married with a 4 year old daughter and plan to be leaving in a couple of months. Virgo guy and I were talking alot on Facebook for a while and I explained my circumstances to him and he said I should leave my husband for him etc then he disappeared for months. He comes back and says he would like to catch up with me so we make plans for coffee and he cancels the night before saying he came off his motorbike. Disappears for another month or so and occassionally comes back with only very quick, casual banter then has to duck off quickly. Out of the blue I send him a message wishing him a Merry christmas and Happy New Year and he asks if I have moved out on my own yet and I told him I couldn't afford to right now but I would be and he tells me he wants me to move in with him!! Then he disappears again......I send another random message to see how he is and he sends me the same 'frantic' type message 3 times over saying how he wants to catch up with me asap and to give him a call asap and he had been thinking what ever happened to us and if I still like him and how are my hubby and I going and that all of this is hard to say because of my husband and he ends it with "I don't know what to say?". I sent him a novel back explaining my situation in great detail. I also texted him to tell him when I was free to catch up again seeing as though he wanted to see me ASAP! We organized to go out and he offered to meet me at my parents house where I was dropping my daughter off (which struck me as a bit odd?) so everything was planned for us to meet last Sunday for lunch and I got a message first thing in the morning saying he was sorry and couldn't make it due to family issues. I just sent a message saying ok, thanks for letting me know then on Tuesday he sent me a message saying he was sooo sorry and that everytime he makes plans something always happens so he can't make it but that he really wants to see me heaps and hopes we can catch up soon. I am not too sure whether I want to be stood up a third time. Any info to help me understand what the hell is going on here would be really appreciated!

Oh and not sure if this info will help at all:

Me
Sun - Scorpio
Rising - Leo
Moon - Libra
Venus - Libra
Mars - Leo

Him
Sun - Virgo
Rising - ?
Moon - Aquarius
Venus - Libra
Mars - Leo

Reading this made me question if he is insecure about how he looks these days. Have you seen him or recent pictures?
maybe he was hoping to lose weight or something before you met up but it wasn't happening. There is something he is insecure about. I think he wants to be with you but something is holding him back. Something about himself.
From a Virgo woman.

I really don't feel I should have to defend myself, and I am not all that impressed that you know how to hit the "IP" button.
Please note that until yesterday I was not on this sight for the past 6 months. Used one of my email addresses to have my password sent and got an old log-in name. No big deal. Did you see how they were not used at the same time?

Posted by IntriguedScorp
If it was me, I wouldn't count on someone I haven't been with in 17 years to make it easier for me to leave the person I am married to and maybe the Virgo senses this. I mean think about it-- you go into detail about your relationship with your husband to the Virgo, then you can't leave because you can't afford it. If I was the Virgo, I could be thinking that you are using me as a rebound to make going out on your own easier.

Seriously, if you really want to leave your husband--just do it. Don't rely on the Virgo to pick up the pieces. Go see him when you are on your own and settled in. IMHO

Upon reading the situation, the first thing that popped in my mind is that you are anxious into getting him to cooperative with you, so you can have him to go to in order for making your departure from husband easier.

If random people on the internet, who only know a smidgeon of the information can sense that you are trying to use him as a crutch ... then surely he can sense it, and it's the likely reason he keeps dodging you.

Thank you all for your replies. I understand that it may look like I need an 'out' of my marriage but the truth is that I am leaving to move into a new place in about 8 weeks (that is the earliest I could move in) and the marriage has been all but over for the past 4 years. My husband knows I am moving out, he refuses to go to counselling together (he has issues with alcohol)and has told me he should have stayed single(typical freedom loving aquarian). I have been trying to make it work for a long time now and it's beginning to affect my health. I would rather be a celibate single for the remainder of my existance than stay in what I am currently in. I had told the Virgo that I was hesitant to meet up with him in the first place as I had a feeling he wanted to rekindle what we had so i explained that my circumstances are complicated and all he said was that he understood that. I am thinking that maybe he keeps planning on meeting up hoping that will make me leave immediately and when I haven't, he cancels? Yes I have seen recent photos of him on and he is just as gorgeous as he was when I knew him all those years ago :-) I know he came out of a 6 year relationship with a virgo gal about 1 1/2 years ago so being a virgo may still be hurting? I also thought he might be insecure about something as when he asked if I still liked him I told him that since being in contact with him some of those feelings I had for him have returned but people do change over the years and that I would have to meet him again to find out for certain. I was thinking maybe he is worried that he has changed a fair bit? We are different in the way that I don't like swearing, I've noticed he lets fly on Facebook but when texting me uses "damn" etc...lol.. I had also mentioned in the beginning the fact he had 'liked' such smutty, awful stuff on facebook that maybe that was why maybe he was having difficulties finding 'the right girl' as it doesn't leave a good impression and that I was shocked as I never thought he was like that when I knew him, next thing I know he deleted it all :-) I would have no problems if he said straight out to me that I don't want to see you until you and your husband are separated. I would completely understand, respect (and even prefer) that to be honest as at this point I don't need the complications but I would still like to see him again at some point.. even if nothing ever happens it would be good to at least have him as a friend.

The virgo doesn't know when I am moving out either. I didn't tell him because I don't want him to think it was for him or because of him. It was always going to happen - everyone closest to me is aware of this. At least this marriage has taught me one thing - patience. Unless he contacts me again first I don't plan on having any contact until I have moved out and settled in, then if he asks me what is going on I will tell him. I personally wouldn't like to feel like I was responsible for the ending of someone's marriage either........

Two words: Libra Venus.

Read up on it...

Let*it*Be - To be honest my daughter and I are definately my priority at this time I am thinking about catching up with him to chat but I personally don't think I am emotionally ready for much more at this stage. This is why I'm glad when I read that Virgo's like to take things really slowly as I would be happy just with company at the moment and someone to talk to. I really want to concentrate on 'me' time so I can get my energy back and this can only for happen for me on my own. People suck the energy out of me and I have a knack for attracting people who like to share their problems with me so I take on their stuff too. I just find Mr. Virgo difficult to understand and my curiosity is getting the better of me. I live in Australia and my husband would pay child support (over here they deduct it from your wages.) I currently work part time (3 days a week) but once my daughter starts school full time next year I will be going back to full time work. I am happy to let my hubby have everything to be honest with you - I will not reduce myself to a level where I need to fight or argue over petty posessions that can be replaced and I am hoping hubby will be mature enough to do it all amicably for the sake of our daughter. We live in a rented house that his mother owns (her and her husband live here with us...which presents a whole set of other issues) We don't have anything joint that is financial - he always wanted 'his' and 'mine' from the get go. I will not be living with another man for a VERY long time if at all! I have goals I want to achieve before the possibility of that ever happens. I will be moving in with my parents for a little while until I get on my feet then I want to find a place of our own for my daughter and I. If and when I start dating again I would really prefer to not be living with the person anyway - I find it too draining.... I have been married for 7 years and with him for about 9 years.

Iheartnerdyboyz - not sure if you meant for me to read up on it or let*it*be but I know, apparently we hate being alone and have to have a partner. I don't like being alone as such but I will be moving in with my parents whom I adore so I don't think I will feel alone in that respect and I have my daughter and some really great friends too. But I feel like I need to replenish my energy stores and I know I can only do that alone. I tend to be a people pleaser too regardless of what I want or need and this makes it hard...

Also in Australia you must be separated for a year before you can file for divorce.

I am just curious about one thing - why would a virgo keep arranging for us to have coffee and catch up and cancel every time? That to me is just silly. Would you just not say something along the lines of i'd rather wait until you sort your stuff out and then we will catch up? That would be so much easier than me having to continually find time (that I don't really have) to possibly meet up only to have it cancelled! I know he will contact me again in another month or so to do it all over again! Things that I cannot make any sense of frustrate the crap out of me! I hate not being able to understand why people do certain things......