Dependent personality disorder

Dependent personality disorder

- Excessive dependence on others to meet your physical and emotional needs
- Tolerance of poor, even abusive treatment in order to stay in relationships
- Unwillingness to independently voice opinions, make decisions or initiate activities
- Intense fear of being alone
- Urgent need to start a new relationship when one has ended

Haffo, I know many people with this disorder .. two in particular who have all of those symptoms .. and in most of the cases I know .. they were neglected as children.

Why is this thread in Virgo board??

I'm not the OP but I'm guessing it's in the Virgo board because Virgos seem to attract ***A LOT*** of these types. LOL

Yes, uh-huh and yeah WE DO!!!! Get them AWAYYYYYYYY!!!! I can't STAND clingy!!!

I also think that it shows another side of the "story" so to speak after the "Virgo women who choose to be alone" post.

Quite a few people responded to it saying that it was crazy, unhealthy, or selfish for a person to actually choose to be single. They assumed that ALL people are CONSTANTLY in a relationship or they should be searching for one. If they aren't, then there's something wrong with them.

I read Haffo's post as an explanation as to why these people would think that it's healthy to latch on to people at all times.

Just my $ .02.

Actually, I think it was posted here because this is how the Virgo appears to a lot of non-Virgo's .. in fact, the majority of my friends who suffer from dpd or born under this sun sign .. anyway, I believe that is why is was put here.

Really P-Angel?

Everything listed is the OPPOSITE of the complaints I've read/heard about Virgos.

As in they're:

*Not dependant enough on others for their emotional/physical needs that the other person feels unwanted or unloved
*They(we LOL) don't tolerate any sort of negative behaviour and aren't willing to stick it out for a relationship
*We voice our opinions, take actions, and make decision so independantly of others, that again, they feel unwanted, unloved, or uninvolved in the "relationship." Also, the fact that we *do* voice our "opinions" positive, negative, un-edited is often the cause of complaint for many.
*There is NO fear of being alone, so we don't tolerate much, some of the guys might not put out much effort, and most men & women aren't worried about breaking up with someone who isn't good for us
*No urgent need to be with someone hence the many threads on, "What do I do about my Vir-girl/guy" - they move so slow, aren't being aggressive, etc.

😉

Hey, I'm just saying why I think it was put here .. people I know who have this were neglected as children .. so, I think that has more bearing.

- Excessive dependence on others to meet your physical and emotional needs
- Tolerance of poor, even abusive treatment in order to stay in relationships
- Unwillingness to independently voice opinions, make decisions or initiate activities
- Intense fear of being alone
- Urgent need to start a new relationship when one has ended


Listen, here's my take on it, as far as validating this claim:

1. Virgo's depend on their partners to cover all emotional needs because they aren't will to give ..

2. Once in a relationship that they've spent years deciding was worthy .. they have a history of sticking it out, not matter what .. even once it's gone bad because they fear rejection .. even to the point of tolerating abuse

3. They don't really voice opinions, rather, scolding and critiquing .. there's a difference. Making decisions has to be pulled out of them, for if left to them .. it could take years to get an answer.

4. See #2 above .. they have this fear .. they will put up with nearly any kind of mis-treatment once a decision has been made - finally - for a fear of being alone.

5. The last one .. I can't validate from my experience, as far as a "relationship", but, what I have witnessed is the Virgo bed-jumping ALOT and it's possible this comes from the need of being in a relationship and checking out the potentials.

😛

Hmmm, well just from reading that I have to say that that is nothing like me or the other Virgos I know. BUT then again, all of the Virgos I know are WOMEN.

So, that might be it.

From your multitude of complaints about your Virgo husband(as well as other womens' complaints on here), I gather that the male and female of the species are very different.

Actually, after reading what Haffo wrote, several of my exes popped into my head. Them and my Pisces brother. 😛

It appears to me that most of the signs are quite similiar from one gender to the other. For instance, I think there's very little difference with the Pisces genders, and the Leo's, and Cancer's.

However, Aries & Virgo genders are extremely different.

But, hey, that's just from the people I know. My husband would fall under this category, yet, one Virgo (female) friend I have wouldn't. Again, the people I know who suffer from this had a bad childhood .. and since the Virgo is so critical of themselves, I can see how this malady would effect them harshly in compared to other signs.

hmmm....I'm with leo/virgo on this one those traits really do not describe virgos for the most part.....on #2 I can see P-Angel's point to some degree but from my experiences virgos only take a long time to make a decision when it is their own behavior that is under the microscope.....when you tell someone who already feels like they have it together that you have a list of complaints it can stop them in their tracks....mostly because of pride....other than that virgos are very decisive and usually make pretty good decisions on average.

As far as the virgo bed hopping P-A, I don't think that has anything to do with a "need" to be with someone else after one relationship has ended...if ANYTHING...its to show the ex how replaceable they are!

I guess whether the male and female of a sign are the same is for another thread, but I think there are definitely differences.

For instance - even though I read in another thread about the similarities between Pisces men and women, my brother can be a total nightmare. Where as he's been with several Pisces women and they were all sweethearts and his actions tore them apart. 😢

Haffo making a point about how he views Virgo's, from his perspective.

Upon further inspection, I can actually see where this has merit for the male Virgo. The females don't seem to have this ailment .. they are strong and vibrant, much more confident. The men, on the other hand, have most of these.

1) Excessive dependence on others to meet your physical and emotional needs: It's been validated by the testimony of most women in here (V-man partner), that she has to give ALL of the emotional support, while recieving very little back, unless she demands this of him, or is forced to play games with his feelings .. only then is he willing to give her what she needs emotionally .. additionally, their men (V's) though, most of them are sexual .. they aren't initiators, which this kind of "lack" of desire to "take", leaves their females feeling unwanted, which in turn, perpetuates the dominance of the female partner to be the director of their physical partnership.

2) Tolerance of poor, even abusive treatment in order to stay in relationships: It has been noted by the testimony of several VirGuys in here that once they've made the decision to enter into a union, they will stick it out for the long-haul and tolerate for an excessive amount of time .. drama, bitching, asexuality .. for to them, they pride themselves on being martyrs and will undergo suffering for the sake of their partner .. to take the position of martyr, pain or distraught of some sort has to be present, for with the absence of it .. there is nothing to pity.

3) Unwillingness to independently voice opinions, make decisions or initiate activities: Though, the male Virgo HAS the ability to voice opinions and make decisions independently, and because they are so "bound" within their partnership, they feel it respectful to run everything by this partner before making a firm choice. In appearance, this would seem respectful .. however, once appearances are taken away and this is analyzed for what it means .. the actual reason for this is because there is a "fear" of criticism .. the Virgo then depends on the female to make final decisions, so if a particular "thing" is wrong, it wasn't actually them who was the deciding factor.

Those are just the first three .. the other two can be validated, however, it isn't necessary to do so .. it's quite apparant that the male Virgo's suffer from some level of this affliction.

depending on someone to make a descision for you is weakness in general....If you cannot make up your mind, and take your freedom into your own hands you aren't worthy of being a free man/woman in my opinion; the best part about being a Virgo, is knowing exactly that; we are only human, but we don't excuse ourselves just because of that fact alone, We have confidence in ourselves, and in turn, expect more than we can get/give.... btw, from personal experience, this seems more Libran, than virgoan to me....I don't know maybe there are just an equal amount of co-dependents in every sign.....Libra in general to me is not a weak sign; not at all, just a sign that is diplomatic; caught between two decisions, and just unlikely to make a choice in either direction; they seek a balance, and if this is not attained, they aren't happy; and in the real world we all know that not every choice we make is one that will balance things out; sometimes, not EVERYONES needs are met, and you must fight for what is yours....

and as for a fear of critisms; I have none; so long as it will catapult me higher to reaching my dreams, and completing me as a human being, then it is only necessary and beneficial....although I'd rather not hear others complaints, and their stupid ideaolgoies, and this is only if the person is not an advocate to their own advice, aka, (do as I say not as i do) people and they know who I'm talking about. If you don't follow your own philosophies, what's the use in dolling them out to others when you can't even get a hand around your own life? Useless banter.....