Dissecting the Virgo's Words

I asked him whether I'm beautiful or not and to answer me honestly. Initially he refused to answer by giving various other replies. After a little insistence from me, he finally answered, "Hmm, not my cupcake. But you still taste good." I find that the first statement and the second statement are so conflicting I really wonder what he meant. So does he think I'm beautiful or not? I could have asked him about this statement myself further but I didn't because I knew it would be futile sensing his evasiveness and reluctance. Another interesting point to note is that I didn't even ask whether I was his type or not but probably there's a little history to that if it matters.

But what did he really mean? What do you think?

I'd not take that as an answer. My first retort would probably be an arched brow and "Cupcake? Which sort..chocolate, vanilla..sponge?" Or to really be a stench and say "Oh yeh? Well then eat me."

It would be nice to know more background i.e. is he your boyfriend or are you after him or is he after you. From the response he sounds like you're just beautiful enough in his eyes. Beautiful enough to do what with? I don't know. Screw? Engage in a relationship with? His response was too vague but you pretty much had something awkward coming. You just don't ask a guy that question. He will always let you know if he thinks you're beautiful without you having to fish it out of him. Let's make a deal. I won't ever ask you your age if you never ask me to tell you if I think you're pretty. Deal?

True, didn't consider that one, and I should have. Back a dude into a corner with a question, expect an answer. And sometimes it isn't the one you want.

You at that mirror yet aldebaran?

I can't imagine ever asking anyone that question. It's just begging for a snarky reply. Or shows too much insecurity.

I get a lot of compliments, even at my age 😉 so between that & my own perception of myself, I know I look good. But of all the people I know, my virguy friend is the only one who doesn't comment on my appearance, aside from complimenting a particular outfit or piece of jewelry. Maybe it's a virgo thing *shrug*.

The cupcake comment is a bit juvenile, but maybe guy is trying to be funny instead of getting pissed at being pinned down for a compliment.

Thank you all for your feedback. Don't worry as I'm not really offended by his response and I'm not really suffering from low self-esteem. The thing with him is that he's used to saying things like that to me so that crudeness is probably just natural for him towards me. Or is it supposed to be natural? LOL.

I didn't know what p.o.s. means and Google gave me "peace of shit." Is that what you meant, 25thDecan?

No, he is not my boyfriend but we were in a relationship before a few years back. I broke up with him. Ever since, we moved on, had other relationships, but would fall in and out of contact now and then. We are now both single and several months back I had initiated a relationship but he had rejected it. He insisted we were not meant to be and I promised not to bother him and have this sort of expectations anymore. I don't really agree with him or am able to let go but I'm trying my best to honour my words and respect his decision. So I do my best to keep our relationship casual and platonic.

I was asking this question out of genuine curiousity of what a man's opinion would be of me (my looks). Any man who have sufficed but I don't actually have many male friends and none I felt as comfortable asking this kind of question. It is pretty embarassing and could lead to misunderstanding. I sought him out because I do really trust him to give me an honest answer and I always value his opinions since he does always have very good opinions. I am aware he might misunderstood my intentions given our history but I have assured him that wasn't the case. I hope he got it. Would it be that hard to just give an honest answer to a friend?

I have my Moon in Leo... why do you think that?

Correction: "piece of sh*t" instead of "peace of butter"

That wasn't a typing error I see...

Not hard to perhaps give an answer, but an uncomfortable one given your history. He might have been cagey about giving false hope where he felt there was none.
And as to the other, you do not need a mans yay or nay on personal beauty. Yes, it is nice to hear and it feels good but not necessary. If it's from in here *tapping head and heart* it doesn't have to come from someone else.

Posted by 25thDecan

Posted by aldebaran
Thank you all for your feedback. Don't worry as I'm not really offended by his response and I'm not really suffering from low self-esteem. The thing with him is that he's used to saying things like that to me so that crudeness is probably just natural for him towards me. Or is it supposed to be natural? LOL.

I didn't know what p.o.s. means and Google gave me "peace of shit." Is that what you meant, 25thDecan?

No, he is not my boyfriend but we were in a relationship before a few years back. I broke up with him. Ever since, we moved on, had other relationships, but would fall in and out of contact now and then. We are now both single and several months back I had initiated a relationship but he had rejected it. He insisted we were not meant to be and I promised not to bother him and have this sort of expectations anymore. I don't really agree with him or am able to let go but I'm trying my best to honour my words and respect his decision. So I do my best to keep our relationship casual and platonic.

I was asking this question out of genuine curiousity of what a man's opinion would be of me (my looks). Any man who have sufficed but I don't actually have many male friends and none I felt as comfortable asking this kind of question. It is pretty embarassing and could lead to misunderstanding. I sought him out because I do really trust him to give me an honest answer and I always value his opinions since he does always have very good opinions. I am aware he might misunderstood my intentions given our history but I have assured him that wasn't the case. I hope he got it. Would it be that hard to just give an honest answer to a friend?

Yes.....a piece of butter.
I personally don't see anything wrong with him answering you honestly. Or...simply telling you he felt as if you put him on the spot. Either or.....
Lmao@VB.....I won't generalize the "bull" snorting and lowering those horns at that....

click to expand

Awww c'mon Dec, not even a teensy, tiny, teeny weeny bit? 😈

Him being cagey about giving false hope is another point I'm not really sure he actually tries at. Thus me getting confused at his responses. He would still flirt with me at times without heed and say things that are suggestive. So why not be careful all the time but only at this time when I'm asking such a question?

My Sun is in Taurus.

She cannot let go by her own admittance and is trying hard to stay away and cannot.
aldebaran..for your own sanity woman, take a break. To continue being in his orbit and asking for scraps does no one any good. It's masochistic, and being your own internal whipping girl is not a good thing. Get your head sorted about this man and make a decision if you can live with just being his friend, or cut it loose.

Blearrrrrrrrrgh, who isn't? Why I recognized the tendency. *cracking whip* And who hasn't done this? Honestly. Men, such damned addictive two legged creatures. "If I just show him how spectacular I am..." Well, yes you are, but they see it or not, take it or no. And you just have to pull yourself up by the bootstraps and pull on them big girl panties over it. Huge suck-ola factor, and realism at its finest.

Does my Sun in Taurus have anything to do with that though? HAHA! Thanks for answering anyway.

Like I said, I don't actually ask this kind of question around. In fact, I've never asked anybody like this straight out. I was just having my day and just out of a sudden thought about asking this because I have often been baffled myself by how people seemed to look at me overwhelmingly. Humbly, I never thought my features were beautiful but over the years I've learned that I am beautiful from other people's feedback. But it still does baffle me at times so I thought it was just a harmless and fun question to throw at him. LOL.

I do hope the relationship can get back but like I said, I'll try my best to keep my promise and respect his decision. I'm slowly accepting this even though I know it will be really hard for me to let go...

I've tried staying away from him in the past. Experience told me it didn't work. Nothing works so I've learned to just live with it... HAHA! Maybe I AM trying to plant that idea into him: "I'm beautiful..."

But the main thing I'm trying to get at here is not the beautiful part, but his reply and what he meant with it.

Now I see his reply probably meant what I initially thought. Not my cupcake, probably had nothing to do with beauty. All that meant (To me) was that he will not give a relationship with you any more chances. Still tasty, eye candy. That portion proably told you your answer regarding beauty. I still maintain my original answer in which he thinks you are beautiful enough; to screw, kiss, to not mistake you for one of the attractions at the zoo. I as a virgo would probably not fall for the first pair of boobs, wait a sec. . . mmmmmmmmm boobies! and would venture to say his standards would be similar. But since you obviously have no quams with asking him for his opinion, how about a room full of honest people that you will never see someday. How 'bout it. Put up a pic and you'll get what you are after.

I didn't see anything that showed he was using you. I think he was just trying to tell you in a nice way that he finds you attractive in an objective way, but doesn't feel attracted to you personally. You aren't his type. I've told guys similar things before. He doesn't want to piss you off, and he doesn't want to lead you on. But because you shoved him between a rock and a hard place, he had to find a nice way to say it so you wouldn't freak out.

I think his meaning was obvious, but no one wants to accept the obvious if it kills their hope. They'd rather search for some obscure possibility that will alow hope to live on.

shouldn't say no one. Actually, a virgo would almost definitely see it as it is. Which is why he undoubtedly assumed he was making perfect sense.

I think you made him uncomfortable by asking him that and he was trying to be nice. Plus asking someone if you're "beautiful" is a jump... not pretty, cute, hot... but beautiful? Lot's of women are hot or pretty, only MY woman is beautiful. His answer means you aren't ugly (that's the "still taste good" part) but you aren't beautiful to him (not HIS cupcake). Several people said you shouldn't ask someone if they think you're beautiful and I agree 100% , even if you're going to say it's not insecurity asking... it is still tacky, just don't do it.

Later in the thread you said you were just curious what "people" though about you. Is this really "People" or just this person? If it really is just curiosity, did he know that before you asked? Have you asked anyone else?

and, of course, what one man finds beautiful another may only find pretty or cute or even "just ok looking"...

Blah Blah Blah EXCEPTION.

Leo's are kind of insecure in inside but they usually radiate strong qualities of confidence. I have never asked a guy I liked if he thought I was beautiful because I spend too much time taking pictures of myself and looking in the mirror. It's not necessarily vain unless a person thinks they are the queen of England and doesn't realize that other people exist in the universe too with their own beautiful qualities. I have never heard of a girl asking someone that they liked if they were beautiful unless they were really really down. But I guess to each it's own and at times when you ask the right guy it could turn out to be the cutest question and the most adorable response in the world.

i.e.

Do you think I'm beautiful?

No......I think you're Gorgeous.

Being with a Virgo and Knowing several I'll tell you a couple of things:

1) a) When a Virgo thinks you are hot they will tell you right away
or b) When a Virgo thinks you are hot they will wait until you tell them you think they are hot to tell you right away

2) a) When you ask a Virgo if you are hot if they truly do they will try to exaggerate and flatter you
or b) When you ask a Virgo if you are hot they will tell you every single bottled up detail they have been fantasizing and adoring about you.
or c) They'll lie

Thus

3) a) If you ask a Virgo if you are hot they will most likely be straight forward unless they are not into you like that.
b) If a Virgo does not want to hurt your feelings they will give you a bullbutter response to confuse you into interpret it however the hell you want. (I am not saying he doesn't think you are beautiful but he probably knows what and why you are asking and feels awkward about you asking it in the first place.)

You're all right in that he's interested in me purely for sex. After yesterday's conversation, today he came asking me why I like him and what good is in him. I gave him an answer (generally vague but honest answer) but when he prodded, I reminded him that he should have been wary of this misleading me and that I did not want to make this a habit of me becoming his ego-booster. I think he understood and we both dropped it at that. He suggested he probably should stop talking to me if I am still having trouble moving on but I proposed that we keep talking as friend because I enjoy talking to him (and would think I would miss him terribly if he does disappear from my life 😢). He then flatly asked if that means we couldn't be "fuck friend." There goes, there goes his intentions... HAHA! But we're good, I'm good. I think this has been my best achievement so far at controlling myself... I hope I'm making progress.

Thank you all for your advice, opinions, and support!

You guys are so sweet, supportive, and funny. Truthfully, I posed the question not to put him into a corner or to gauge whether he likes me or not. I really just want an honest answer from a man's perspective regarding my looks. But because he's wary, I think I should be satisfied with the answer he gave. I think he has been nice and tactful enough around this and as always, I find that he's still quite dependable. It does hurt that my feelings for him are not reciprocated, I wouldn't deny that, but it's something that can't be forced so I'll just have to accept it. Regarding this, I asked him why he doesn't like me, and simply put, he said that he didn't feel like I'm the one. That answer is so frustrating because it means there's nothing I can do about it... he did say I'm good but he's waiting for someone that he can feel "overwhelmed" when he sees her... hmm... I think that's being too idealistic? Like looking for THAT moment but it'll never last, will it?