do virgos stick around

Do virgos stick around for a 3 year relationship if they don't love you?

I have known a virgo for 8 years who pursued me relentlessly, we were in a relationship for 3 years when something traumatic has happened ane he broke off with me - it's been 1.5 years since then, I tried to call him once and he wanted to get together for a drink etc but said he had someone else in his life - that was a few months ago. I'm confused?!?! Any thoughts?

After 3 years, a break up. A year and a half later, a phone call, and he has someone else in his life. And a few months after that, you are still confused about the whole thing?

Why would you even be interested at this point? Sounds more like an obsession or a situation of trying to recapture and old memory the hard way. He told you no, he had someone else after 1.5 years. That has nothing to do with sticking around a relationship for 2 reasons:

1. You guys BROKE up.
2. He's been BANGING someone else.

It's been over, why try and keep it going?

Let a sleeping dog lay and find another guy. This will only bring major problems if you pursue this.

Thanks

What is confusing me is that we were talking about marriage before we broke up - 3 weeks later he claims he's met someone else after he's had something traumatic happen to him - he calls constantly letting the phone ring only once so I called to see what he was up to - he said that he thinks about me all the time, wondering how and what I'm doing then says that he listens to the CD I made him all the time - Know what? You are right - I can't explain, I have to ignore the phone and stop wondering what's going on in his head - he seems to be talking out of both sides of his mouth and I need to stop spinning with him.

Thanks for your thoughts

He sounds like he's messed up pretty bad there, and taking you down the same road.

Please, do yourself a favor and just let him fade away. Or you'll be repeating this all over again some day.

Leave him alone and let it go

I want to thank you a lot Shaka 2 for defending me - I'm a very practical, logical thinker who's very successful in every other area of my life - I don't want to come off sounding like some confused child who is lost and looking for sympathy or direction.

This all came very suddenly to a halt - no fight, no discussion about him breaking off so naturally I'm having a lot of trouble dealing with this.

I was happy to marry him, happy to be with him, I thought I found my soul mate - I felt that he loved me too, why else would he be discussing marriage with me so to talk to him on the phone and not hear from him for three weeks to suddenly find out that he's seeing someone else sent me for a tail spin!

He is messed up right now, I realize that, he was going through some pretty serious circumstances at that time so I don't believe he was of sound mind to make such a decision

For the 3 years leading up to that and the 8 that I've known him, he's been nothing but kind and very gentle to me.

Can you blame me for trying to seek out answers - if it was that easy for me to turn off my heart and move on don't you think I would?

I've dated other men - lots of nice ones out there but unfortunately, your heart isn't something that you have control over.

I just wonder sometimes if he thinks about me too and if maybe enough time passes for him to deal with his loss, I might hear from him again.

I will continue to try to heal from this and keep an open mind and heart to someone else.

Sounds to me like he's scard. Perhaps from whatever the situatin was that tramatized him, and of course, discussing the marriage thing frightens all men, I think.

fed up, if you've been with this Virgo for all this time, then certiany you realize that they take a lot of time to do anything that's serious. He's likely just doing his pull-back Virgo thing and that's probably why he keeps calling.

But, we really don't know because we don't know him, or you. I just know that if it were me, and 3 years had been invested, I would certainly try to look at this from the persepctive of him just been worried and frightened from everything that's been happening to him of late.

I sure hope everything works out for you, for when a Virgo loves you, you need nothing else to be happy in this life.

🙂

aww c'mon now Archer, I respect your opinion, but this time I must disagree. Yes, logic is important, but that statement baout relations with all women being the same, and lazy?

We are some of the most industrious of them all, and I definitely take each person on their own merits. I get very emotionally involved, in fact quite deeply.

*sigh* don't be too hard on yourself by trying to look for answers you can never really have.

give yourself a break, that's what you deserve.

i pretty sure you're virguy will be ok despite of all the problems he have and so do you.

you've done your part by treating him as someone special. so be it.

if somebody's trying to move on with their lives or out of the relationship you had without looking back, what's the point of pulling them into your life? to prove that you love him? .. are you sure you have to do that? ..and why do you have to do that?

Virgoqotme - I am replying to you - I'm going to do my very best to appreciate your advice and not show how insulted I am with your answer. First of all - he claims he met someone in the three week period between the traumatic event and when we talked last and said he was seeing someone else. Therefore there goes your faithful theory! Secondly when I called to see why he was calling me - he asked ME on several occasions if I wanted to catch up for a drink - then he asked me to frequent his place of business and to stay in touch - I DECLINED since he apparently has a SIGNIFICANT OTHER as you put it - don't be judging me! I am not trying to ruin anyone's life I am just trying to heal and looking for some support and experiences which may be similar which may just give me some piece of mind since none of this makes sense to me - I GET that he's messed up, I get that he may never come back - IF he TRULY has someone else in his life I wish him all the best because I DO love him. I am not some clingy stalker type that is afraid to move on and let go! I am simply trying to make sense out of a situation that I believe to be bizzare! I don't believe he has someone else in his life - I think he got cold feet and needed space and that was his way of taking it - Fine I can give him that no problem, I can even move on but the one ring thing he does makes me insane! During the whole conversation it was sweetheart this and sweetheart that - so again take a second look at your theory and get back to me!

My apologies if that sounds harsh - maybe its one of those things that no one really knows unless they've been in your shoes.

well ma'am (fed-up) it sounds as if he got COLD FEET. Virgos I know have a hard time trusting people....from the start...for them a relationship takes about twice as long to develop as others...you just have to be patient. I would suggest that you DO meet with him just so you can look into his eyes and read his body language. Meeting with someone who you were once close to is not stepping into their significant other's territory...unless you take it to that level(which would be bad) It also might be the opportunity for you to get closure. I would tell him exactly what you posted on this message board because at this point what do you have to lose? I'd let him chew on that for awhile and then let him contact you after what you've said has sunk in. By all means I would let him start the conversation. Listen to what he has to say first and then say how you feel but remember to keep it in a positive mode. Don't get angry, try not to get emotional (one little tear wouldn't be bad) just let him know the hurt you felt when instead of turning to you for support during his tragedy he ran to someone else. Let him know that you wanted to be there for him because you saw a future and a relationship means that you support each other. If he couldn't turn to you in his time of need then what was your relationship based on? I personally think you need to meet with him if for no other reason than yourself!

fed up:

I'm so sorry. It sounds awful. Never being able to resolve it cleanly and have it just be over in the snap of a finger is tough. There is a guy I know he was into me in the 1990s, we are still friends today. However, he moved in a woman and her kids. He didn't tell me. I supposed he didn't have to. Still, it hit me hard. Even though I knew we'd never be together this pretty much ended our friendship as it was.

Anyhow, to your situation. Sometimes things just aren't meant to be. I'd honestly be mad. Disrespected. Then, the recent comment to you about someone else being in his life. That'd shut the door forever.

My thought - move on. You deserve better. If he does this now, think long term and you do get back together. What'll stop him from doing something like this again?

Best of luck. 🙂

My apologies if that sounds harsh - maybe its one of those things that no one really knows unless they've been in your shoes.

you got it right. you may not either want to love someone following other people's advice.

..experience is the best teacher.

usually when something really bad happen, we have to see through things on a different perspective later on you will realize it's not that bad at all. others have a harder struggles in life/in their relationships compared to what we really have.

everything that doesn't come our own way like what we've planned will always be a new learning experience.

don't think about it too much, i suggest. it's hard i know because you love him and you care for him. isn't it harder to let yourself be drawn towards all these speculations and mysteries without knowing all the truth? it will drive you nuts i swear. let him have his life if he comes back good but don't put your life on hold.

it has been said that broken relationships oftentimes leave us devastated and broken. but we are only the people who can heal ourselves not anybody. not anyone. you just have to because no else will but that doesn't mean you are a loser and you are alone

it was not your fault neither his fault he has his own reasons for acting like that give him the benefit of the doubt. only thing you can do is love him from a distance, if a new guy comes and can take the place in your heart the better, but i hope you won't try to look for love to fill in that hole in your heart because some people think that they were able to move on by exchanging partners. And when the relationship fails, they also end up losing their self.

virgogotme - I take it back - thanks for the advice - seems you're reading the first line and that's it - no problem - I don't feel insulted anymore - thannk all of you for your advice - you are right -I am going to start dating again and see where life takes me - I feel better

i hope you'll find your perfect match someday. the one who can be responsible enough to love you and take good care of that heart of yours without taking you for granted. for the meantime work on the things in your life that needs improvement so when you fall inlove again, you can be ready to be the right person to the one you choose to love, and i hope he can also be the right person for you.

always remember that there's always a way to compromise things no matter how hard/ how tough the trials in a relationship is.

a man who always find ways to get out of the problem without sorting things out and choose to live outside the relationship won't stick with you 'til the end. a relationship always takes two to tango, when we love someone we are the giver, we are selfless and we give our partner what's best for them instead of what we really needed. it's more than just feelings but a great responsibility. a total surrender. love will lose it's meaning until it's been given away. it's not a favor that you do for someone and something that should be given in return, because the more you expect the more you get hurt.