Confusing Virgo - Leave him to Analyze or Chase?

My elastic band virgo and I recently got intimate again after a long time with little contact (a few months). I got in contact with him and it was like I had opened the floodgates, he came back pretty full on. I know I shouldn't have let him into my bed without talking about the situation, but after hours of just amazing kissing (which it has never been like before, the kissing was a bit crap before 4 some reason) - how could I resist? And I find it so HARD to bring the talk up, esp as I know he finds it hard to chat about feelings. It felt amazing and I felt completely connected, but part of me (the part that has been hurt in the past) thinks maybe he just seduced me and may have lost respect for me, as I let him back so easily with no question. I just fall under a spell when I am with him. He makes me feel shiny 🙂 i can't shake the thought that he is testing me, as I've read Virgo's tend to do. i'm not easy, I just feel SO comfortable with him, I just go with it. One thing that makes me think he is not a player is the fact that he never has rubbers, even when he came round to mine... he said he wasn't expecting to stay over. Which is ridiculous, as I always let him stay. We always sit up until dawn just talking. I can't figure out if i am paranoid. If he has been away for a long time, he's probably shagging someone else right? i can stay celibate, but men are more likely to be putting it about. However it appears to be normal Virgo behaviour to back off completely after getting very close and then come back again. He did seem a bit more relaxed with me.

It's just too weird this Virgo behaviour. I can't believe how slow this is going. Never experienced anything like it. I don't mind it going slow at all, in fact I quite like it. It's the not knowing if he is sleeping with others that bugs me. I dunno where I stand. Think i will ask him straight out. Just don't wanna look like I want a 'relationship' and scare him off.
my instincts tell me he is not sleeping around, but he seems to good to be true, there has to be a catch.

so the QUESTION is: should I be the first to contact him after this reconnection, while the iron is hot? Or... give him the space to mull it over and analyse his feelings? yet again...I can't wait another 3 months.

I hate this push/pull! Virgos are such angels of love when with you, press all your buttons - COMPLETELY, then run off and you wonder if you just imagined that wonderful night you had with them. Don't they want

don't they want more??!!!!!!

Pisces your story is similar to mine. I feel wanted and in love when I'm with my Virgo, but when he leaves days go by before he'll contact. Then when I cant take it any more, I'll write he'll write back like he was waiting for me to make contact.. I'm not really sure what to say, this is my first time dealing with a male Virgo in almost 20 years and I dont remember going thru this turmoil. I'd say grin and bare it and let him contact you... I'm a Cancer so I'm moody as hell and the stop and go drives me nuts...

"My elastic band virgo and I recently got intimate again after a long time with little contact (a few months)."

You are DEFINITELY a Pisces!

There are reasons we do that, but I cannot divulge the seret mystery.

Virguy62! Give me a clue!
Why does that line tell you I am DEFINATELY a pisces? I am intrigued by you already... damn Virgos!
This elastic banding behaviour is so extreme I dunno how to interpret it. But he DOES have me hooked, if that is his plan.

Hmmmm. Because I was with a Pisces for 10 years. The first 4 years were bliss, the last 6 were a nightmare. I KNOW Pisces. I have never loved someone so deeply, nor have I ever been hurt as deeply as with her.

I was with a military intelligence division for 6 years prior to meeting her. You think YOU have issues with secrecy? lol! Mine had to deal with much more. Howver, because I ama Virgo, it came naturally to me to work in secrecy, and never divulge anything unless I had to or felt I wanted to. Best job I ever had.

Only a Pisces would think that was "elastic" and become so frustrated...lol. For some reason, a Pisces gets more irritated by the deeper thoughts of a Virgo for some reason. I think they feel a need to know everything in order to keep their Pisces power trip going! Pisces are so stuck on details that they cannot see the whole picture unless they have all the details. Freaks you guys out.🙂

I think it is fair for me to feel frustrated at not seeing him for weeks at a time when i feel like I have found 'the one.' Anyone would. I think I have been really patient to let him go off and come back when he is ready. I never question it (esp after finding out it is fairly standard behaviour for a Virgo male), but now I am wondering whether he is taking advantage of me coz I allow him to do this without question, or if he is trying to reel me in slowly, to get me hooked and make sure I am the real deal? I don't know much about his past but I do know a long term ex girlfriend cheated on him a few years back.
I can either treat him as a good un, who is feeling vulnerable, or assume he is a player. or just ask, which is hard. My gut feelings say all is good, but my head warns me to be careful.

Well my Virgo has stopped all communication, so I'm throwing in the towel. It's one thing not to contact me, but if I contact you I think you should have the common courtesty to respond, even if you tell me you dont want to talk for whatever reason. Good luck ladies with your Virgo men, I dont want to sound negative but you'll need it.... My advice is time waits for NO man, if you like your Virgos, like them, but from a distance, but continue to be open to other men, from what I've read if you're with a Virgo man the only thing that will be consistent is the hot and cold, the stop and go, the ups and downs until they're ready to settle down or they trust you enough to let your guard down..

Alluv72, I am open to meeting other men, but my heart has chosen this one. To me he is one in a million and i am willing to wait a helluva long time. I'm used to being single anyway, simply because I like it that way. i can't imagine giving up - it just ain't an option.
How long have you been seeing your guy? i ask because maybe you are used to relationships moving faster and this Virgo guy is doing his cautious push/pulling because he is feeling intensely and takes relationships seriously. Doesn't mean it won't happen between you. I'm inclined to think it is a good thing, maybe your previous relationships progressed quickly but then ended within the year. That's my experience, so I welcome this slow approach. We're taking baby steps, but at least we are moving forward. A slow approach builds stronger foundations.
Do you feel like he could be your soul mate or anything cosmic like that? or do you just really like him? If you don't think he is the one, then let him go and don't waste your time. But if you had that WOW moment with him then stick at it. You don't get that feeling very often. i am 28 and it is the second time i have had that moment of recognition and connection with a guy, but this time round I am older, more sure of who I am and it feels even better than the first time. more real, none of the infatuation i had before. I just know we should be together and even when I don't see him for months I dont worry too much. i am just happy to know that this amazing person exists and lives near me and I know him. That's reassuring in itself. I don't feel clingy and insecure, which i think is my instincts telling me all is cool. The first guy I fell for years ago made me behave in a crazy obsessed way, I felt like I had to be with him every minute of the day. I thought that was love, but it was my instincts telling me he was not feeling the same way and had his attention focused elsewhere. So that made me needy and clingy, which in turn pushed him away even more. Turns out he was cheating on me and I realised the stomach aches I got when I went to see him were an emotional response manifesting itself as pain. The stomach is a good indicator of emotions and instinct, take notice of it.
So maybe it is too soon for you to throw in the towel, my situation has been going on for 9 months now, maybe that is a healthier pace to take it, I dunno. just because it is different doesn't make it wrong. maybe these Virgos know the secret to a lasting relationship.

Thanks Pisces, I did really like him but unlike you I've only known him about a month. When we're together I have so much fun, and his humor and affection make me smile from the inside out. But at times he makes demeaning comments and can be sarcastic..Because of that and the hot and cold I cant tolerate it.. If it were just he wouldnt communicate for a few days that would be one thing, because I have heard that is a major thing that virgos do until they're confident and have tested you to see if they're the one they can trust. But he came on kind of strong the first few days, then stopped, then when I write he'll say "can I see you?". It's almost like he'll wait for me to make the first contact then he'll open up.. I'm kind of sad because I did start to really like him but I just dont think it's in the cards. What I noticed is when we were together, he was very attentive, affectionate, almost like he was already in love, but our communication on the phone was terrible, I'd make light convo and he'd come back with a sarcastic comeback, made me wonder if he was even the same person that came to see me...

yeah, I understand. They can behave as if in love, which is very confusing as you assume they will come straight back for more, but then they seem to dissapear. I dunno if they are being sincere or just acting. I don't see why they would act as they seem very straightforward and honest generally. If you can walk away then do it, you will save yourself a lot of heartache. I wish I could but it feels like unfinished business with mine.

Thanks Pisces, I wish things had turned out differently.. Good luck with your Mr. Virgo..

Piscesdreamer, wow it sounds like this Virgo is having the same effects on you as the one I know. I feel this unfinished business thing also..too much. Do you find it really hard to cope though without the contact? Cos each day that goes by for me doesn't get any easier. It's the not knowing. No-one on this earth has made me feel this way-I know what that smiling from within is like. I have waited almost 9 months too but the person I adore is with someone else-their relationship I cannot comment on (We have been more than just friends but I had to step back to avoid been heartbroken)

This Virgo makes me feel allsorts of emotions all at once (wonderful and frightening too) but he's to die for..and time we've spent together has been the most moving of my life. When someone makes you feel like that it's hard isn't it? I know he'd break my heart harder than anyone ever could and that's cos of the intensity I feel.

When they are in your dreams, on your mind and rock your World, you feel like you're in a dream when you are with them....... how do you cope in not getting in contact?

And from a VirGuy point of view, if you like someone a lot how come you can cope without that contact for months——

It's not that easy to explain, but it IS something we know exists. Like all the women who have ever told a man " you would not understand, it's a girl thing."?

Well this is a Virgo thing. I could explain it, I am just not sure you will comprehend it is all. This is not to demean your intelligence in any way, by all means no.

There is a strange interaction between deep feelings, not fully trusting yet, and a defensive posture to ensure we are not the first ones hurt, although we truly want no one hurt. Our desires to completely please our partners conflicts with our instinct to protect ourselves.

Our intuition can at times go into overdrive and we make assumptions at times that need to be addressed by those we love, and it those times that we feel more secure. Why?

Because maybe we feel that by our lovers taking the first step, they truly care for us, assuaging our insecurity in the relationship.

Secondly we feel that if they can reach that far into us, they are truly worthy of the feelings they can draw out of us, as we can be passionate and loyal to a fault.

So it really is not a game, but more of a testing of the waters. The problem is, many see this as arrogance or condescending and ebcome confused.

This is why Virgos need hugging and kissing a lot. The sex can be rgeat, but we palce more value on hugs and kisses as they are indicative of a lasting partnership based on more than sex, and therefore to the Virgo mind, more stable. And you KNOW how we value stability. We freak out in unstable conditions.

Whew!

that does make sense, my guy loves being stroked above all else. I am very affectionate when I feel I have been given the green light. I too am afraid to be made to look like a fool. I am annoyed because whenever we are apart and I put myself out there, I often don't get a response. after our time spent together last week I have sent him a message and had no response. That is just rude innit? It really hurts me and I don't know if he just doesn't give a shit or is playing it cool to protect himself. But if I'm contacting him to meet up then what is he afraid of? I refuse to believe he ain't interested, I feel it in my bones. I can feel the positive energy from him when we are together.
so what now.... call him and ask why he is ignoring me? it's such a delicate situation. Maybe he just doesn't want a relationship and I am letting him have just as much as he wants, I've given him licence to pick me up whenever he feels like it and that is my fault, not his. I just can't say no when he makes me feel this good.

Not sure, I would need more details actually. I am sure he may just be standing back and evaluating the whole relationship, that can take some time with us. However, do NOT be the one to always make the first move, in fact he will probably contact you more if you were the one ignoring him once in awhile.

We honestly do like the game of the chase, and can get bored very easily if the prey is caught too easily. We do not tend to respect that much and at times figure "well, she wants me, she can call.", and maybe wait for something more exciting to come around.

Tell him you have plans, and to call you after the weekned, or maybe Sunday afternoon, as you have a group thing ongoing with friends. Virgos can get very jealous.

Play hard to get, you will see things chgange very quickly.

too late, I already asked him out via a text, no reply since yesterday 😢
I am torn between taking the bull by the horns and letting him know how i feel, or letting him chase me. these virgos are so hard to read. I can't tell if he knows i am keen or if he is feeling unsure about it all and holding back. In my mind i have made it clear by my actions, but sometimes men need it spelt out.
But now he has ignored me I am inclined to start playing it cool again. Damn, I hate these games. Life is too short!

Not sure, how long have you guys been together, and how long apart, and for what reasons? Those things can play seriously into the responses.

I still say, play hard to get. If he doesn't resppond, you may want to take a closer look at what he's up to.

lol! It's a Virgo thing....you wouldn't understand! 🙂 Smooches Hon!

VG62 I agree with you that it is in fact a Virgo thing not just for the Virguys. I experience the same thing and it is very difficult for me to express myself.

The sad fact is, most virgo men probably WOULD prefer bestiality to a foul mouthed gutter snipe with the manners of a sow.

But then again, we ARE picky creatures! 🙂

V62, I have made it clear by mmy actions that I would like this 'relationship' to move on somewhere, but I get nothing back. Do I actually have to SAY 'I really like you' before he does anything? If he likes me, why would he ignore my text? Surely however protective and confused he is he is aware of what is rude behaviour. Don't you Virgo guys worry that you might lose out on the girl you like but are too afraid to say anything? how can you go for weeks of no contact and be confident she will still be available when you decide to come back into her life? THAT is a mystery to me.

🙂 Strings! I know, I just wanted to say that to a woman after all these years of hearing "you men just don't get it!"...lol

Well Pisces, If he is ignoring your text, there must be a reason. he is either not into you and is avoiding you, hoping you will go away, OR he is tring to decide between you and someone else, OR he is playing a game.

In any of those situations I highly suggest not contacting him at all and see what happens in the next week or two. I know it sucks when you are the one waiting, and I truly feel for you, but Virgos tend to like the chase as well as the end game, ya know? Somehow settles the doubt inside of them somewhere deep. Or when they are not into someone they just keep them around for "just in case no on else shows up this weekend" attitude.

If the guy is into you, he will wonder what is going on and he will contact you one way or another, trust me. He knows by the texts that you like him.

And if no response, head to another Virgo. The relationship can be very good if you both communicate well and stay off addicting substances!

I tend to think he is playing a game, as he frowns upon others messing around with multiple women and he said that he likes to 'keep me on my toes' regarding the infrequent contact. but what is the game? I hate games! grrrr.

Then keep him "on his toes" and don't play the game. Drop all contact and let him make the next move. What a man says he "frowns" on and what he does can be two different things.

Stop the contact and see how he likes his own "game". No biggie. May take 2-8 weeks if he's interested, but you'll find out soon enough.

True, I just hope my instincts don't turn out to be wrong. I will be floored if they are. I AM a pisces, my instincts are always strong and right! Thanks for the advice, you're good!

I conclude that I have been a total fool and this guy is just not interested. If he was interested he'd call. That's all there is to it. I can't believe I let him back into my life with no question after 3 months - he must be feeling so f*cking smug.

treetrunking? ! ha!

Hey, it happens to us all one time or another. The loss is his. You are a bright and sweet spirited person, I am sure life will deal you a better deck than this! SOmetimes the people in our lives are like sandpaper. They chafe the crap out of us, and then we come away smoother and with more wisdom. 🙂

"people in our lives are like sandpaper. They chafe the crap out of us, and then we come away smoother and with more wisdom. "
lol but true.

"It's not that easy to explain, but it IS something we know exists. Like all the women who have ever told a man " you would not understand, it's a girl thing."?"

V62, you pretty much summed up Pisces for me. We FEEL the same way. My VGuy friend likes hugs too. He has this tendency to sneak up from behind and give me a kiss on the cheek when he knows I am unaware of his presence. Every Virgo I know has the ability to sneak up on you ever so quietly. I never hear you guys comeing. What's with that?