Hanging Tough on a Virgo

Yes I am still banging on about this same Virgo, I am going away for a few weeks very soon and I know i won't see him before then. Fact is I don't really want to, in case I ask questions that I need answers for and get answers I don't like and go away feeling dissapointed. Question is, should I make some kind of contact to show I am thinking of him or send him a message telling him how I really feel (spill the beans!) and let him ponder whilst I am away.. or leave it be and see how I feel when I get back? I need to have this sorted asap, I just don't wanna ruin my hols.

We've not had any intimate contact for a few weeks, although I saw him a few days ago, but we just exchanged pleasantries, albeit slightly awkwardly in a group situation.
Part of me thinks screw it, take the plunge and send him a heartfelt email, but the other cautious side reminds me there is no going back from such reckless behaviour. but if he's not interested anyway, I've got now't to lose. It's the scaring him off I'm worried about.

i am approaching the end of my tether. Help me hold on a bit longer!

PD,

I'm a very positive person but have also dealt with a Virgo (no longer now). I've been reading your past posts and I've got to tell you, you are wasting your time on him. He isn't interested in you because if he was, he wouldn't be leaving you in the dust as he's doing now. Virgo men (my experience) will pursue you when they are really into you. Your Virgo guy is not with you. He's just stringing you along and you are allowing him. Believe me I've been through the same thing with the no response of text messages, no phone calls for weeks on end, the complete turn around in behavior. It leaves you stumped.

I'm not trying to be harsh with you at all so don't think I am. There is no point in you sending him a heartfelt e-mail before you go away for him to ponder. I don't think that will get you anywhere. If you want to tell him how you feel you should do it when you feel ready and not now because you haven't seen him in a while. You have to work with the mind regarding Virgos because they are very smart people in my opinion. This is why us who are not Virgos don't understand the way Virgos think. It's like they are from another world (no offense).

I told the Virgo guy in my case I liked him also and he seemed very relieved. Then a little while later, he started to get all weird on me. No phone calls, no responding to text messages. Nothing. This is why you should let him contact you when he's ready. By you contacting him will not make things go better. Instead, you will be the one always having to initiate contact with him. He should be meeting you half way which he's not. This is proof he's not interested in you right now. He more than likely has a lot going on (you know Virgos consentrate on one thing at a time) and is only focused on himself. Please walk away with your dignity in tact. All the best. Have a nice trip.

yeah, you have a point. I should just leave it. I have to let him be. He is focused on other matters I suspect. Fair enough, it's his life. I cannot be a part of it right now. Not that I am giving up. I really think a lot of him, but I am not going to let him make a fool of me. I think he likes me a lot though, I can feel that. I just think he is not letting it affect him emotionally like I have done. Control freak. This has been en endurance test and a half. jeez.

I completely understand you. When I finally decided to let go of the Virgo guy in my case, I also thought a lot about him. Actually, I thought about him more than I should haven. He got too much head space with me. One day, after saying enough was enough, I gave up and decided to not look back. The Virgo guy in my case I know tried to reach me on the phone a few weeks ago but he called during the night when I was sleeping. When he knows I'm mad at him he calls from a phone that will show up "Private" in my mobile display. I haven't heard from him since I ignored him. I did send some text messages but I never said to him I know it was him calling me then. He never responded to my text messages. This is why I'm finished. I'm done. I don't have time for head games anymore. Yes, it's been an endurance test and a half. Look on the bright side though, you've learned from it.

None of it makes any sense though! I could handle straight rejection. I'd prefer it, but this is just plain puzzling.
I don't think he is playing head games, I am doing that all by myself. I doubt he is even thinking about me!

PD - I have been following your story throughout the boards. I hardly ever have to post because your story is so much like mine, happening at the same exact time, that I figure my posts would just be redundant. Some of your posts, and the advice given in response, have saved me so much pain and frustration. So, thank you.

I have had the same experience with others on here too. mindblowing! How is it going for you? Anything positive yet?

PD,

A Virgo Male friend once told me how he hates the "I thought we had something special" speech from women. Mystical is on the money; there's no pay off in being sentimental with him. In my experience, distance is the best medicine if you want to heal. However, to their credit, when a Virgo male knows he's in the wrong, he'll try to heal the riff in his own time his own way.

But, when a virgo knows he is wrong, does he ever admit??
I don't think so!!

PD,

Like I said, I'm in the same exact place you are. About 2 months ago I let him know that I was very interested in him but was not willing to be casual or "friends with benefits". I don't mind taking things slow, in fact I prefer it, but I could never tell what his level of interest was. Every time we got together it felt like we were starting over from date one. He would say that he was very attracted to me but he would also make vague statements about being cautious, or not being sure. By this time we had been seeing each other (with the whole hot/cold scenario) for about 8 months.

After I let him know that I couldn't do the casual thing I promised myself that I would not call him. I wanted to give him time to do whatever analyzing he needed to do. I didn't hear from him for 3 weeks. He called and we had a good chat, got caught up - he's a workaholic and is always super busy. Any time I e-mail him or call or leave a voice mail he always returns the message - but never asks to get together. I've debated asking him out but I don't want that to send the message that I've changed my mind about casual dating.

At this point I am just letting go. I feel like I am making a fool myself every time I call or e-mail. I'm sure that we have miscommunicated on so many issues, but trying to clear things up just seems to make it worse.

I miss him terribly, but I have decided to let go and fill my life up with other things. I'm not sure what I'll do if he calls again. I'll let you know if he ever does.

If you ever need support, let me know.

I'll PM you Virgosgal

"But, when a virgo knows he is wrong, does he ever admit?? I don't think so!!" Not in my case.

Message posted by: piscesdreamer on 9/26/2006 4:38:30 PM
None of it makes any sense though! I could handle straight rejection. I'd prefer it, but this is just plain puzzling.
I don't think he is playing head games, I am doing that all by myself. I doubt he is even thinking about me!

It's time, girl. You know it, you said it, "I don't think he is playing head games, I am doing that all by myself." You're screwing yourself. It's time . . walk away. Find someone who wants to be with you, he doesn't. That's pretty apparant.

I am in the same place as you all my virgo is just plain crazy. He stopped talking to me for no reason...and ignored my birthday. My suggestion would be to move on however before you do you could just let him know how he has made you feel....I did that today and although it hurt to let him go at least you can give yourself the closure you deserve!

Menaremysteries,

I have to say thank you very much as you have proven to me that I'm not the only one who is bewildered. This is not an attack on Virgos at all. It just a guy who happens to be a Virgo so I'm not attacking Virgos as a sun sign. I've been through exactly the same situation with the complete withdrawal situation and for no reason. It was hard for me to let go too, even though the guy also has issues to deal with. For some reason I thought he'd never act the way he did and it really came out of the blue. However, I'm better without him because if he's going to act like this for no reason, then he isn't worth my time. I've tried to reach him on the phone, sent text messages. No respones. I also sent him a birthday message and got absolutely nowhere. However, I'm positive it was him who was calling me in the middle of the night the next day after his birthday as none of my friends would be so rude to call at such a time. Whenever I've been mad at him he does the calling in the middle of the night. I didn't answer this time though because I'm really annoyed with him. I've also done the goodbye thing just to get closure and felt much better. However, I do still wonder about him at times. I wonder why he's pushed me away. I can't do anything about it so I give up and move on. I really do sympathize with you as it looks like you and I (and maybe others) are in exactly the same boat. What we have to do is walk away with our dignity intact and our head held high no matter how difficult it is. One thing I can say is by knowing this particular Virgo, he has taught me so much. I've learnt much more by knowing him than not and that is a great gift to take with me. Just think of all you've learned by knowing your Virgo and it will make you smile.

Yeah it is a learning experience! But you have to take it in stride...as I'm learning! I just think the men weren't ready for us to Upgrade them....LOL

I totally agree with you. To be honest, I do think you have a point with that the men weren't ready to be Upgraded. I never thought of it that way. The Virgo guy in my case has a lot of issues to deal with. However, I never thought he'd push me away, but he did. He's been a great teacher to me in both a good and bad way. I just wish he'd at least have enough respect to tell me what it is that is bothering him instead of giving me the silent treatment. I've had to let go because I get so mad at him. I hope, one day, he'll speak to me again but I truly feel he should be a man and not act childish. You know I've been reading about Virgos on DXP about how much serving people who they like/love is so important. I wonder if the Virgos in our cases realize we are too good for them so instead of having us wait for them, they let us go. Of course, if this is true, I don't particularly like this way because it's a bit confusing. One day they're there for you, and then suddenly they disappear for no reason. However, the Virgo in my case will never be forgotten. He'll have a place in my memory for always. I even told him that one time but I don't think he believed me. He seemed to think I was joking but I was completely seriously. At times when I think of him I just smile because he's really a good guy. Unfortunately, right now he's going through some issues which he doesn't want me to know about. The last time he and I talked, he did say some things that has bothered me since. Therefore I know he's in pain but I don't know the problem as he's ignoring me. Anyway, I've had to let go of everything and move on (which I haven't wanted to do but was left with no other choice). Hopefully, one day he'll realize what he lost.

Sounds like we have a LOT in common! we are in the SAME BOAT!!! It's so hard to let go when you care so much and you don't know what you did....We'll have to exchange stories

I guess you just have to one have faith in your feelings because if they are true then nothing can take that away. I sent my V guy an email saying I was through last week then I thought about it (I know it sounds bipolar) and I sent another email just sharing my experience with what he's been going through and some things I thought might help him. I haven't gotten a response...I guess what I am saying is if your feelings are true and you let your heart guide your actions and not your pride it is bound to show through! Yes I am just going off my faith in this philosophy but I have to believe that. I would also say put yourself in his shoes.....I did that and you know I found myself not being able to imagine how I would deal with the situation that he is dealing with right now...I don't think I could get out of bed let alone function everyday...normally... I know someone said if he doesn't respond he's just not that into you blah blah blah. But you have to judge that against the person you know and if it is uncharacteristic and you know he's dealing with something big then all you can do is let him go through it and let him know you care.

Menaremysteries,

Have you heard from your Virgo guy after the e-mail you sent him? I sure do hope so. Maybe he's just analyzing right now and needs some time on his own.

Yes, I do have to have faith in my feelings. It was a mistake to get so involved with that Virgo guy. At the time I didn't think so because I was so wrapped up in the whole situation so I wasn't thinking clearly whatsoever. Now since there has been a gap of time between him and I, it's been liberating but also a bit sad. I still want him in my life but I don't know how I'd feel if he suddenly popped up again and acted like nothing has happened. Being ignored is very hurtful, especially when there is no reason for such behavior. I've done everything I could and still he had the nerve to ignore me. I'm not a doormat to be walked all over. Yes, I gave a lot to him and got little in return as he needed a lot of reassurance. Then he decides to disappear just like that. No way can I just accept such behavior. Looking back I was a fool with trying to be the best friend he never had before. Always there for him to talk to and support. If he was feeling down, I'd bring him up with my positive attitude. For some reason my positive attitude at times annoyed him which I never understood. I'm still bothered by what he said the last time we talked. However, when he's acting immature and not speaking to me, I don't know the problem he's having. Yes, I've tried to put myself in his shoes. He parties non-stop, stays out all night, drinks a lot and hates himself. Now doesn't that sound like a dream come true for a gal? No, it doesn't. I know he's capable of being an adult but he doesn't want to take responsibility for himself at this time in his life. I'm the complete opposite of him which he thought was great. You know opposites attract. He's like the bad boy and I'm the good girl. My life is stable and his right now isn't. However, for a while I was really, really down regarding him because I couldn't understand his way of being. This is why I've had to let go of everything and let the chips fall where they may. I'll still be his friend, if he gives me the chance. He doesn't make much sense to me at the moment. I do hope, one day, I'll understand what happened. Oh, and yes, I've told him numerous times I care so he's fully aware of that. I just get the feeling I haven't heard the last of him. God help me on how I'll react because I wouldn't want to say anything I might later regret.

Hmmm....It helps tp get an outsiders pov. Let me tell you what I see. What I know about virgos os they love stability! So I guess first off...from what you've said his life does not seem stable right now which is an important missing piece of the puzzle. A lot of times if your life is chaotic then you really don't know how to go about behaving normally or how to be stable in a relationship. He could also be very intimidated because you are stable right now and have a plan for your life. So his thoughts are what doe s she want with me? Wat does she see in me? I can't offer her stability right now. It sounds like his life is one of fluctuations...most virgos like to be the caregiver and right now you seem to be in the role of the caregiver. That can be very hard for any man to deal with. Yes it is rude for him not to return any of your attempts to communicate but I don't think this guy knows how to communicate what he's feeling. What guy says to you..yeah um I really don't have a lot going for me right now but I like you. Yes this would be easier and you would probably understand however he doesn't think that what asult does. What adult wants to admit that they aren't doing anything with their life? When I said put yourself in his shoes I meant pt yourself in his head. The drinking....inadequacy. The partying....validation. Stays out all night....looking for fulfillment. Low self esteem.....a result of his life style . He needs to figure out who he is before he can be what you need...as much as I know that hurts.

I haven't heard from my guy yet 😢 In my situation my guy has his life at least career set I actually look up to him...he is the ish 🙂 Talented, hardworking, business man, smart...really great. However I know he is going through a lot right now. Like I said he is going through A LOT right now everyday is hard for him. He is having to learn how to live life all over again and realizing that an important part of his life, confidant, and best friend is gone forever. Someone who has been there before day 1 of his life. So I'm trying to be understanding it's hard because I'm an only child and of course the world revolves around me 🙂 I'm kind of at a place where I don't know what to do I don't want to move on and I feel stupid for staying ya know. I almost feel as if life is at a standstill...embarrassing as that is. I don't think he knows how much he means to me. Hell I didn't know it. I'm kinda sick right now.

Unbelievable. You are absolutely unbelievable because you are right on target. I didn't even think of the questions you mentioned. Thank you so much. Yes, my life is stable. I'm a nursing student. He does have a good paying job as he works at sea (not in the navy). Yes, I am the caregiver (you know since I'm a nursing student) so I know how to talk to him. I kept giving him assurance that I wasn't going to disappear on him like most people in his life have done as he's told me. I promised him I'd be there for him always as friends are there for each other. He's told me not to fall in love with him because it wouldn't be good. He does have low self-esteem and this is why I've shown him there are still good people in the world. The last time he and spoke he told me there are a lot of sick things about him. When I asked him to elaborate, he wouldn't. When I asked him would I be hearing from him again, he told me maybe when he's better. I told him he could always talk to me and I would support him. He told me he knew that. I was left very puzzled. To be honest when he called and told me this he was drunk so I thought it was the alcohol talking and I didn't take him seriously. Therefore about a week later I attempted to get in contact with him. He ignored me but I didn't take offense at that time because I wanted to give him space. After another 3 weeks of silence I attempted again to get in contact with him but at this time I was mad and I let out my anger. I sent him numerous text messages telling him he was immature and that I was through with whatever games he's playing. I also wrote that he'd never hear from me again as I felt he wasn't being fair. I really meant it at the time and I swore to myself I was done. Unfortunately, a week later, I started to feel bad. I know I shouldn't have but I didn't want to give up. Therefore I sent a text message asking what's up and if he and I were still friends. Still no response. I still don't know when he doesn't respond what does that mean yet. So I let another two weeks go by because then it was his birthday. I thought really hard whether I should acknowledge or ignore it. I decided when I got up on that day to acknowledge it. I sent a text saying happy birthday and that I would have called him but since he's not speaking to me I was sending him a text. The whole day went day. Then all of sudden at 4.27 in the morning my cell phone rings and I'm sleeping. Continue....

most virgos are only happy when they are productive his life sounds unproductive...no offense

I couldn't believe my cell phone was ringing at such an hour. None of my friends would be so rude to call then. It said "Private". I'm positive it was him calling me then because whenever I've been mad at him before he then calls where it will show "Private" in my cell phone display and I won't know who's calling so I'll have to pick up to see. I'm sure it was him though as he's called in the middle of the night drunk before. Like a fool I would talk to him because I knew he needed to talk. He'd call a lot of times sober too. When he's drunk, he's much more lively than when he's sober. He's told me he's an a-hole, that he always hurt people in the end and that there is nothing good in him. Of course, I thought he wasn't serious because why in the world would someone put themselves down like this. I got so caught up in trying to help him out with showing him the light at the end of the tunnel. I think I was doing a great job and then he just disappears. You are very right with he thinks what do I see in him. Well, he and I are similiar in the fact with the low self-esteem part. When I was younger I had low self-esteem but I pulled myself back up. This is why I know in some part of what he's going through. He's tried to make me jealous with how popular he is among girls. I never reacted as I rarely get jealous. However, it did bother me sometimes when he'd go on and on about girls but I didn't let him know that. When he parties as much as he does I asked him if he enjoyed it. He told me no. When I asked him why does he party so much, he said because it's something to do. I became so confused regarding him like I've never been before about a guy which scared me. It's not even funny, but I find it all amusing what I've gone through because I must have been insane. Yes, I know he likes me but I think he knows I deserve better. It's true when they say people always want what they can't have. He's really sweet and responsible but recently, he's lost his way. Now usually after the 2 week silent treatment, I've sent him a text message just so he knows I'm still around. Sunday, it was 2 weeks ago I sent him a text message
so he hasn't heard from me. Whether he cares or not, I don't know. Maybe he really does want to get rid of me and he got his wish. However, I still do feel him thinking of me. There were loads of times I was thinking of him, and at that moment he'd call me to find out how I was doing. I wonder why I still feel him thinking of me though. Continue..

No offense taken with that his life sounds unproductive because it's true. The whole situation has driven me nuts which it shouldn't have. I became depressed and I let it go out of my studies. That is not like me at all. You see what I learnt happened, was I would take on his pain, try to find a solution and when I didn't, I became just as miserable as him. However, I don't drink like he does as I don't drink alcohol at all. As I've stated, he and I are very different but I still didn't think that would be a problem. It's the not knowing which has infuriated me. I sent him a text in the middle of September saying I realized the friendship was over but that I wasn't happy with that. I got no response. You see with his silence, I don't know if he agrees with the friendship is over, or he doesn't. I get he's not that into me anymore, but for the life of me I haven't figured out what I could have done that was so wrong. As I've written he has issues so I'm looking at it as he wants to save me from going down misery lane with him anymore and he lets me go with ignoring me. All right then, but I still feel he should be a man and end things maturely and not like this. I'm left to wonder which is not fair. Now if he and I had argued, I'd understand the silent treatment, but we didn't. This is why I've had to let go of everything to save myself from going insane as I've been. I've been giving myself time to heal because I really went too deep. It's taken me time to dig myself up again. I'm there now and it's great. I just don't know how I'll react if he decides to pop up again. Or maybe, he's gone for good and I'm being saved from more heartache.

As for you, I say there is still hope for the both of you. Give him time. He'll pop up again when you least expect it. Oh, and feeling of being at a standstill, I've been there too. What you should do is keep yourself busy and let life take it's course. Easier said than done, but you can do it.

You said he said he is ill....that's hard. I f it's serious and god forbid it is he's probably trying to deal with it. If it's not he's still trying to deal with it. It's really hard when you are ill to say hey I need you especially if you are not used to being vulnerable. It's hard for men to admit they need someone. If they do too willingly think about it they are labeled as a mama's boy. He probably wants to get himself straight first or....if he has low self esteem like you said. One way he could be trying to make himself feel better could be by you feeling bad. He knows you're going to call or text, he knows you're still there....make him think you've left. It could be part of a inferiority complex. Putting you down or rejecting you to make himself feel better. Once he gets his life straight he won't want to do that. However the question you need to ask is. Do I care about him enough to go through this or am I worth more? Those are just two possibilities I see.

I totally agree with you. I do think in some warped way he's getting a joy out of hurting me with ignoring me. I had told him once before I don't like being ignored as I find that to be rude. So what does he do? He ignores me. It's hard to not what to take contact with him because I know there's something going on but I don't know what. Since I also think he likes knowing I'm still around, he doesn't have to do a thing as he knows I'll cave first. Well, I've been stubborn now and WILL NOT cave anymore. There is only so much I can take. When he and I talked last was at the end of July. Then the next time he calls me was in the middle of the night on the September 9th (I know it was him). It took him 6 weeks to contact me. I was so infuriated that I didn't answer. However, on the Sunday (10th) I did send him a few uplifting texts telling him not to giving up on things and have belief in himself. I wrote for him to always look at the bright side as things aren't as dark as they seem. Also I wrote I'm still his friend no matter what. Of course, he never responded which didn't surprise me. Yes, he knows I won't reject him as I made a promise to him. He promised me also he'd stick around and he broke his. I'm not doing anything anymore which could surprise him. I've told him before how I felt because at the time I felt it was time. In the coming weeks and the longer it goes, if I don't hear from him, I'll be able to see if it's all been a game to him. I'm not quite sure yet. Tell will tell.

Yes, I, unfortunately, still do care for him. Right now I'm at the care/dislike stage. I'd like to say I hate him because he's infuriated me but I can't hate him even if I tried. Believe me, I've tried and it didn't work. No, I can't continue to go through more pain regarding him. I just don't see why he'd want to hurt me when all I ever wanted for him was the best. I believe I'm worth more than all this BS. He'll always have a special place in my heart. He always seemed so surprise when I'd see the good in him. It was like he expected me to think of him as a jerk or evil. I couldn't do that because I always try to see the good in people. I do have a limit with how much I'll take and I'm there regarding this Virgo. It's like he wants me to give up on him because everybody eventually does. I'm not a person who is a quitter in anything I do. With this Virgo guy, I'm having to give up which is something I'm not use to. In relationships, it's always been amicable. I wonder

It isn't you it's him. He probably doesn't feel worthy especially now because he is ill he feels he's even more damaged goods. Look at it this way he isn't a very productive person and now on top of that he's ill....it's a sad place to be. I think he is letting you go before you would have let him go. If he doesn't see good in himself theres no way he believes you see good in him no matter how many times you tell him...Basically, this guy needs to GROW. I hope what he is going through now will help him so that he will come back to you a better person more sure of himself and more sure of what he wants out of life....then you can decide if YOU want him!

Yeah, I get what you are saying. Friends have said to me he needs to grow up and become a better person before he comes back to me. Everyone is probably right with he needs to work on himself before caring for another person. I just hope he'll get his act together before I'm completely gone. No matter what was going on, I'd never let him go so it's foolish on his part to have probably let me go first. Once someone gets into my soul, I never turn my back on them as it takes so long for them to get there in the first place. I'm always there for them. He knows he can rely on me. I can't rely on him but that's okay because I have a lot of strength to go on. I believe people come into our lives for a reason. This Virgo came into my life to show something. I don't know what yet but I hope I'll find out one day.

He also likes to do all the calling. He'd get annoyed with me if I called him so I rarely called him. However, in July when I felt things were getting weird I did start to call him. I guess he likes to be in control of who calls who. I couldn't care less who called first but to him it was a big deal. I'd notice if I called him out of the blue, he didn't really know what to say. However, when he called me, he always knew what to talk about. A friend of mine told me half-jokingly, that he has to have manus written out before he knows what to say. She might be right but I don't know.

Yes, he's in a sad place in his life. This is why I'm still trying to be the best friend he's never had. Leaving him alone, but still around. One can never have enough friends in this world. Well now, I'll have to completely give up as he leaves me with no other choice. As I've stated before, I really don't know I'll react if he decides to pop up again. Maybe I'll be as cold as ice just to prove a point. If he does pop up, it will be in that moment I'll know how to react. He needs to show respect which I feel he's not showing whatsoever.

Have you tried writing him a letter and sending it? It may be for no other reason than for closure. He may not respond but at least he'll know how you feel? After the letter I would let him contact me..

You are sweet. I let him know how I felt through text messages as he gets them instantly. At first I didn't think he read the text messages I'd send him, but he'd say things that I'd written so I know he reads them. At the ending of July and the middle of August, when I was really frustrated with saying goodbye and he'd never hear from again, those text messages weren't the nicest. I was never mean but very direct. He knows I'm sad because I had told him in at the ending of July. Then in the beginning of September I sent a text message saying I was sorry for being frustrated with him but that I was going through some stuff emotionally (it had to do with him but he didn't know that). This is why I've written the text message with saying I'm still his friend no matter what. He knows where I stand. I did that to get closure because I would have felt guilty if I didn't write to him with telling him I'm still his friend. I didn't want to leave things on bad terms. I intend to let him contact me as I can't do anything anymore. I'm done with trying as I can't beat a dead horse. For some reason I get the feeling he's not completely gone. That he's just staying away and in his time he'll turn up again just when I've moved and the least prepared. That would be my luck.

I think writing it down is more serious...honestly. You could repeat all the txt messages you've written. It's more concrete. It actually gives them something to hold on to and think about. I wrote my guy a letter maybe 3 weeks ago...and he really liked it and thought it was sweet actually it was maybe 4 days before he dropped off the earth.

Are you saying after he read your letter, he disappeared for a few days?

I can think about it as I never thought of going that far. Technology is more my thing. However, you do have a point. If he has a paper in his hand, he'll see I'm not BS-ing him. However, why is it that the girls are always the one writing down how they feel meanwhile the guy can just disappear or act nonchalant?

I'll PM you

Okay. Oh, how I love to get mail. 🙂

ALV,

You crack me up. LOL It's so funny, in a bizarre way, the situation. In my own case, I'll be fine. Nothing keeps me down for long. It's just been a little tough being ignored and for noe reason. He'll regret it one day. I won't do anything to him as it will be his conscious that will in the future talk to him. I wish him all the best as I can't continue to be on a roller coaster that's been at a fast pace.

AriesLovesVirgo: God you V-guys should just go jump off a bridge! Look @ how your driving women crazy!!!!

LOL. women should always be carefree it times like these by leaving the guy alone. the more you chase these men, the more they turn their back.

never lose dignity on someone especially your worth as a person. it's true that we sacrifice on love, but real love should be also filled with wisdom knowing when a stage has to come to an end. well, if your partner chooses to grow apart and not together with you then so be it. love is an act of free will. he also deserve to have a choice.

enjoy your life and pray for wisdom to be able to distinguish what's right from wrong.

ALV

I completely agree! How many women seem to be waiting on Virguys on this site? Why are these Virguys so dense to realise what they have or could have—?!!!

We should all get together and write a book.....Living with the frustrating prick that is the Virguy enigma!!!!!!!!!

It'd be an interesting read——

What a book it would be. Great idea. I think a lot of the frustration gals have regarding Virgos could have to do with Virgos think and analyze everything. Anyway, any gal that knows/dates a Virgo guy will come out stronger than when she didn't.

I'd attempt to write a chapter on 'patience' but I'd probably lose patience and start swearing! (completely out of character too may I add)

Any volunteers for other chapters and titles you feel would describe your Virguy journey?!.....

.. but before trying to figure out on how women should practice patience, the really big question is.. are these men being patient with their women? poor thing! 🙂

See....this may sound mean but my friend turned me on to a song that I now listen to when I'm Pissed...entitled IT'S WHATEVA....meaning pimin you wanna clown ok.....IT'S WHATEVA! He'll be back and when he does......it's gone be trouble..... trouble!

cuz anything you can do I can do better!

..but all relationships have to be both ways -- you give some you gain some.. that's why compromise and faith is needed to keep the relationship strong.

hmm i guess all the people here is aware of that.

.. yeah and love will lead him back

yeah and when he finds his way I know where he can go!

Let me help straighten something out here - not all virgo men are pricks who ignore your calls or messages. Most of us, if we get your messages, will reply with courtesy. Now, our response may not be what you want to read/hear but we will reply. Unless we tell you to buzz off.

Now to the subject at hand. If we are interested in you - we will let you know. If you keep communicating after we ignore you, you are telling us you are needy. Some guys will take advantage of your neediness. We will not love you. Just like you, do you find neediness from a man attractive or seductive?

One thing my younger (but probably wiser) sister noted about me (Virgo male) was that I tend to evaluate and categorzie most woman I am dating or who are interested very quickly.

Most guys are not conflicted about how they feel about relationships or life when it is something they want. If they say "I am not sure I am ready to settle down" or "I don't want to have anything serious"; to help clear your confusion, just add "...with you." to the end of their sentence. It is how some men chicken out when telling a woman how they really feel. If it is the right woman, we know right away - it will take time before we confirm and act on it.

Very true tazman...It also deals with the woman as well. I know for me as an adult I have to learn that the world does not revolve against me (I'm an only child) I do know now that when it comes down to it I can reach out to my virgo in an emergency and he'll be there or do his best to be there.....to me that says a lot! It's just the matter of taking back the past and things I've said that I don't know how to do.

tazman,

Would you say that as a Virgo you value relationships more which have grown steady and through strong friendship first? And the time thing regarding the confirming and acting on it, is this mainly about trust and truly getting to know someone shares the same values/dreams?

Being a fellow earth sign I can completely understand if that's the case.

Fire (and water signs to some extent) can be all or nothing and I think that can push 'earthies' away.

It's interesting to know though if Virgo's are blessed with patience themselves as they obviously expect others to be that way... I have not much!

u said: Question is, should I make some kind of contact to show I am thinking of him or send him a message telling him how I really feel (spill the beans!)

I would highly suggest that, or prepare to find him on his way down another path when you return. We dislike games, but we dislike not knowing just as bad.

My last Pisces pulled that on me, and early on our relationship she couldn't figure out why I was not speaking to her or interested ina relationship at that time. I assumed, not having any data due to her close mouthed emotional state, that I would be better off with another gal.

Much to her chagrin.....