Do Virgos Take Responsibilty for their actions?

My Virgo ex keeps coming up with excuses instead of just saying yes I did that and I'm sorry. He keeps placing blame on me. I was just wondering if this is a Virgo trait or flaw of character?

My Virgo guy is like this too. They always think they are right and rarely apologize fir anything because they don't feel they did anything wrong because they are logical everything they do or don't makes sense.

SillyKim,

Sadly, this is very true. Always remember that they are extremely rationally, being so cerebral, you can almost JUSTIFY anything. If you try to TALK him into admitting he's wrong, believe me, that's not going to happen. Give him the cold shoulder to teach him a lesson...

O M Geeee!! Nebulous cloud9 thats exactly what I've been doing to him. I still don't think he'll get it. He'll just get with another chick til his feelings for me are gone. I'm also not talking to him because it's helping me to get over the break up. I love him so much and want him to see what he did is wrong. Not only that to realize how good of a person I am, to grow and stop following the crowd. Stop trying to impress everyone who don't give a treetrunk about him. But that's like too right for a Virgo. If he can show some humility and change some of his ways we would be awesome together. Until then I have to move on with my life.

Posted by sillykim123
O M Geeee!! Nebulous cloud9 thats exactly what I've been doing to him. I still don't think he'll get it. He'll just get with another chick til his feelings for me are gone. I'm also not talking to him because it's helping me to get over the break up. I love him so much and want him to see what he did is wrong. Not only that to realize how good of a person I am, to grow and stop following the crowd. Stop trying to impress everyone who don't give a treetrunk about him. But that's like too right for a Virgo. If he can show some humility and change some of his ways we would be awesome together. Until then I have to move on with my life.

I don't think it's good to try to change someone to fit you. If you don't like what he did and can't forgive then it's not meant to be. Believe me my Virgo has done so many wrong things in my eyes but I know that's just how he is and how he's always going to be and I accept it. Not because I'm weak but because I'm strong enough to know that it what he did meant nothing bad. Sometimes people just need to do things for whatever reason.

Posted by sillykim123
My Virgo ex keeps coming up with excuses instead of just saying yes I did that and I'm sorry. He keeps placing blame on me. I was just wondering if this is a Virgo trait or flaw of character?

Hi Kim, hope you and Noah are doing well. I can't say for certain it's solely a Virgo thing, I think it's more of an immature/less evolve male thing, some men won't take responsibility for their actions/behavior.

Instead of expecting him to say I'm sorry, it's better to OBSERVE his behavior and accept he's just not going to be the person you wish and hope for and just let him know what he did is not acceptable, he can say it's your fault all day long but he's the one that cheated not you and at that point it's just better to go do your own thing, focus on yourself and focus on Noah, you have to be secure around your child, kids pick up on distress and mimic that energy. I'm sure you want to wrangle the truth out of him but he's just not going to fess up right now if ever and I foretold you he would come up with a good excuse. Quit making it about HIM HIM HIM, it's not about him, it's about YOU & NOAH and if he can't be about you and Noah then he has to go, you can't make your happiness about him and what he's doing and not doing or you'll stay miserable and that's just not healthy for Noah to observe. You're not your baby dad's mother, you can' be checking him constantly about his behavior and about what he chooses to do with his body with someone else.

It's not okay that he blames you for what he chose to do with HIS own d*ck, you don't help him cheat, he chose to do that on his own. He's displaying some loser behavior, I don't know how much time you have to waste on this guy nor do I know how old you are but I suggest you make a choice to get out before this one man destroy you inside and f*ck you over so bad you won't feel safe with anyone else, trying to be with him for the sake of Noah is only hurting you and potentially hurting Noah in the near future. Just something to think about.

"I love him so much and want him to see what he did is wrong. Not only that to realize how good of a person I am, to grow and stop following the crowd. "

He doesn't see that Kim, he doesn't think Kim's a good woman let me be a good man for her, clearly he didn't see if the first time he cheated because he did it again and he'll do it again and again because he's already groomed you to accept his cheating, yes you'll flip on him but that won't stop HIS desire to want to be with other women, this is what you have to accept about him, if you want acceptance you have to give acceptance in return. He's selfish and he's going to continue to be that way because that's who he is choosing to be as a person.

He know you're a good woman, that's not something that's important to him or he wouldn't cheat on you, a good woman will do what you did, she'll tell him she loves him, she'll take him back, she'll believe in him even when everything in her being says not to so yeah he know you're a wonderful--good woman and that's the exact quality that gives him a PASS ON HIS BEHAVIOR because a good woman is patient and forgiving but being a good woman never stopped a man from doing what HE WANTS TO DO with his body. Hold him accountable for Noah, it's about Noah and his quality of life.

Thanks for the advice I'm really getting over his ass. I have not talked to him and I refuse to talk his lying cheating selfish arse. He can blow my phone up and think what he wants but I'm done. I'm really trying to get on my feet now. I'm hoping a Scorpio will come my way. Until then I'll just fantasize how good my scorp man will love and sex me lol.

VirgoR,

It's effective in two ways:

1. The minute she shows him emotions of any kind, she is feeding into his sick ego. Being cold will let him know he cannot phase her... People like him are a dime a dozen, low-esteemed, insecure losers who latches onto others to feel significant in life. Starve him of attention and watch him scheme his way back it, never fails. It's all very psychological.

2. Being cold will teach her to guard her heart against such stupidity.

Posted by Nebulous_Cloud9
VirgoR,

It's effective in two ways:

1. The minute she shows him emotions of any kind, she is feeding into his sick ego. Being cold will let him know he cannot phase her... People like him are a dime a dozen, low-esteemed, insecure losers who latches onto others to feel significant in life. Starve him of attention and watch him scheme his way back it, never fails. It's all very psychological.

2. Being cold will teach her to guard her heart against such stupidity.

+1 ^^Marvelous!

Ironically Kim you have more power in this situation than you realize because this man has self esteem issues, he needs female APPROVAL, he seeks it because it's the way he functions so now he's going to begin to straighten himself out not because he's really changed but because he's SEEKING your approval, he needs your approval to feel significant again but don't fall for it, make it HARD--REALLY HARD for him to regain your approval again, he'll stick by your side and play the role to REGAIN his self worth through you and through Noah, DON'T ALLOW HIM TO USE YOU & NOAH IN THAT WAY, he may even turn into the guy you want him to be not because that's really who he is but because displaying change REGAINS the approval he needs to feel good about HIMSELF--IT'S ALL ABOUT HIM IN THE END.

You know NOW knowing he's an approval seeker and his identity is tied into sexuality and his sexuality is tied into gaining approval through sex which makes him feel good about himself is your secret weapon, as long as he need your approval you hold all the cards and you can make certain demands that he must meet before he's allowed back into your life--that's if you inevitably come to conclusion you want to try again.

^^^^ this is too much I really don't know how to do that. I'd rather just walk away. It shouldn't have to be like this. I cried my ass off last night(still am now). I talked to him yesterday, called him out on his lie and he didn't call back nothing. This morning he blows my phone up and wants to come see me and the baby. I hope he doesn't show up to my apartment. I'm so extremely hurt. I was trying to be tough but you Virgos saw right through. Well done! Y'all amaze me!

yes i do
man is judged by his ability to keep promise

"Do you honestly believe a successful relationship/marriage is built on the foundation of one party molding and conforming the conduct, character and behavior of the other?"

i agree with VirgoR

that translates into intolerance

It's not that I'm trying to change him, I just wanted to show him a different way to live. He grew up in the streets. I grew up in the suburbs. He wants to live a hustlers life while I'm trying to show him hard work, good education, and determination can get him the things he wants. He acts a certain way to be accepted by his friends(hood) because to them it's about street credibility. But a little after I was with him I saw straight through him. He's weak and follows people. His mom has a bad problem of manipulating him. It's sad. He's a really good guy but everything others have done to him he does to others. I'm trying to show him he doesn't have to be that way. I accepted him for his real self not that stupid thug act. But he can't see that. He cheats and fucks woman because apparently that's what thugs do. He doesn't have to live his life following behind stereo types. He's extremely smart, wise, caring, and loving. But it's like sometimes he has to prove to himself that he's still that street guy. I can't deal with that. I'm myself 100% . I hate conforming to others ways. I do what I do when I want to do it and I think that's what intrigued him about me. Everyone around him(hood) isn't their self. They put these acts on to fit in. It's a really horrible cycle.

Is this about Virgos in general or just Virgo men? Some people say that women (in general) hate to admit that they are wrong and take responsibility for things (and I have to admit that thinking about that I agree), and Virgo as a sign is (after all) represented by a female figure. However, I do think there may be something in the original question: because we take things so seriously, I do think that Virgos hate to be in the wrong, and this is why we often like to have instructions to follow in any situation, so that if we follow the instructions absolutely then if anything goes wrong it is not our fault but the fault of whoever formulated the instructions! Judging by my own experience this has to do with growing up being the "family scapegoat" (as Capricorns also often are), in other words having to take the blame/carry the can for things that are not even our fault, which makes us super-sensitive to blame and guilt-tripping from others. In my case this was partly to do with being the youngest in my family and thus the butt of most of the family jokes (because I couldn't really fignt back).