Does Mental Attraction Win?

This is especially for the men. If you meet a woman that you instantly have a strong mental connection with, do you become attracted to her? Even if you have a girlfriend/wife, will you begin to think more about this other woman?

And does mental chemistry tend to translate to physical/sexual chemistry?

I tried to dumb myself down for this Virgo man and act ditsy and aloof hoping he would lose interest, because it makes me feel terrible.

Once you establish an intellectual connection with a woman, what makes you change your mind about her?

Thanks in advance.

I am always MUCH more likely to be attracted to someone I have a mental connection with. She has to be smart....seriously. I've turned down incredibly physically attractive women because I thought that they weren't smart, had no sense, etc.

Don't dumb yourself down. Be smart and sexy. Also, be RESPONSIVE TO HIM. Don't argue..lol Those will all help.

Laughing at things in common, agreeing with him, etc - this will get the atmosphere in the right place, I think.

Posted by virg_goki
I agree. Since the first girl I got together with a voluptuous body or attractive face never did the trick. If anything, it was the icing for me, the bonus. Being a loose woman turns me off immediately. (like bedding multiple men in a row etc)

Well since your thread ask how to lose one, I'd say betray his trust but it will reap long term repercussion for him. So be careful.

I don't want to betray his trust, but since trust IS a huge thing, I don't want his level of trust in me to be a reason for him to stay attracted. I don't really have a bunch or male friends in my life, either, and that doesn't help. I thought about just getting more male friends, and not minding if he sees them and backs off because of it... But that just seems manipulative.

Posted by VirgoFromCo
I am always MUCH more likely to be attracted to someone I have a mental connection with. She has to be smart....seriously. I've turned down incredibly physically attractive women because I thought that they weren't smart, had no sense, etc.

Don't dumb yourself down. Be smart and sexy. Also, be RESPONSIVE TO HIM. Don't argue..lol Those will all help.

Laughing at things in common, agreeing with him, etc - this will get the atmosphere in the right place, I think.

Have you ever met a woman who was stunning and intellectually sharp in the beginning, but eventually said or exhibited behavior that killed your attraction and made you feel like a fool for being intrigued in the first place?

Your advice is very reassuring, though. I am doing all the right things, just with the wrong man.

Posted by okluvu2

Have you ever met a woman who was stunning and intellectually sharp ....

conceited much?

Posted by P-Angel

Posted by okluvu2

Have you ever met a woman who was stunning and intellectually sharp ....

conceited much?

click to expand

I wan't refering to myself on that comment, I was referring to his girlfriend. But hi P-Angel!

Posted by virg_goki

Posted by okluvu2

Posted by virg_goki
I agree. Since the first girl I got together with a voluptuous body or attractive face never did the trick. If anything, it was the icing for me, the bonus. Being a loose woman turns me off immediately. (like bedding multiple men in a row etc)

Well since your thread ask how to lose one, I'd say betray his trust but it will reap long term repercussion for him. So be careful.

I don't want to betray his trust, but since trust IS a huge thing, I don't want his level of trust in me to be a reason for him to stay attracted. I don't really have a bunch or male friends in my life, either, and that doesn't help. I thought about just getting more male friends, and not minding if he sees them and backs off because of it... But that just seems manipulative.

tell him what you just said? You have answered your questionr already.

click to expand

Okay. 'll leave out the manipulative part though 🙂

Posted by okluvu2
This is especially for the men. If you meet a woman that you instantly have a strong mental connection with, do you become attracted to her?

Yes.

Posted by okluvu2
Even if you have a girlfriend/wife, will you begin to think more about this other woman?

Not a chance.

And does mental chemistry tend to translate to physical/sexual chemistry?

Maybe. It only opens the door.

Once you establish an intellectual connection with a woman, what makes you change your mind about her?

click to expand

Not much. If you get a Virgo to fall in love, they'll generally forgive a lot of things. Unfortunately for you, they'll try to fix them instead.

Of course, if you deliberately want to create some distance, then be straight with them. We over-analyze everything yet are horrible at it, so you'll save much mental anguish by just being direct. If they're mature about it, you won't lose anything in the process. And if they're not, well, it probably wasn't worth it either way.

What constitutes a mental connection? I'm pretty smart and prefer conversations with substance to it, but perhaps it's also because my moon is in Virgo. But yeah this Virgo guy would always complement how smart I am and try to make himself seem smart when I talk about stuff he will chime in with a comment then point out that he knows what I'm talking about (I find it endearing and I told him his intellect was never in question) ..... I do think that we converse easily and the flow is great. We vibe well. But when I try to recall the things we talk about, they're usually over regular stuff. I don't see anything extraordinary about the things we discuss, except that I notice we are both at ease when talking to each other. So if I'm not talking politics with him and what not, what exactly do they mean by a mental connection? Does it have to be intellectual conversations?

Posted by okluvu2

If you meet a woman that you instantly have a strong mental connection with, do you become attracted to her?

Possibly. It certainly doesn't hurt, but it isn't always that simple. There also has to be some level of natural attraction and chemistry because having a good intellectual rapport can belong to strictly platonic relationships as well as romantic ones.

Posted by okluvu2

Even if you have a girlfriend/wife, will you begin to think more about this other woman?

Fleetingly at most. It's human to have a passing thought or temptation but if I already have a good thing where I'm happy there's no logical reason to risk that.

Posted by okluvu2

And does mental chemistry tend to translate to physical/sexual chemistry?

It can.

Posted by okluvu2

Once you establish an intellectual connection with a woman, what makes you change your mind about her?

click to expand

A bad attitude and poor behavior will kill just about any attraction for me.

Posted by tiltedmoonshadow
What constitutes a mental connection? I'm pretty smart and prefer conversations with substance to it, but perhaps it's also because my moon is in Virgo. But yeah this Virgo guy would always complement how smart I am and try to make himself seem smart when I talk about stuff he will chime in with a comment then point out that he knows what I'm talking about (I find it endearing and I told him his intellect was never in question) ..... I do think that we converse easily and the flow is great. We vibe well. But when I try to recall the things we talk about, they're usually over regular stuff. I don't see anything extraordinary about the things we discuss, except that I notice we are both at ease when talking to each other. So if I'm not talking politics with him and what not, what exactly do they mean by a mental connection? Does it have to be intellectual conversations?

No. Leave that sort of pretentiousness to your Virgo, we've had more practice. If you randomly end up talking together about absolutely nothing until the early hours of the morning without forcing the conversation, you're doing pretty well. Moreso if you're only left remembering the feeling of the conversation rather than its content.

Posted by TMV

Posted by okluvu2

If you meet a woman that you instantly have a strong mental connection with, do you become attracted to her?

Possibly. It certainly doesn't hurt, but it isn't always that simple. There also has to be some level of natural attraction and chemistry because having a good intellectual rapport can belong to strictly platonic relationships as well as romantic ones.

Posted by okluvu2

Even if you have a girlfriend/wife, will you begin to think more about this other woman?

Fleetingly at most. It's human to have a passing thought or temptation but if I already have a good thing where I'm happy there's no logical reason to risk that.

Posted by okluvu2

And does mental chemistry tend to translate to physical/sexual chemistry?

It can.

Posted by okluvu2

Once you establish an intellectual connection with a woman, what makes you change your mind about her?

A bad attitude and poor behavior will kill just about any attraction for me.

click to expand

But if you had a good thing going would you be pursing another woman for conversation, mental, spiritual connection—

Intellectual connection to a woman is making you think about her all the time. It reminds you about her most of the time. You think that she also likes you. You want to be with her. All the passionate instances that you can think of. You feel comfortable when you are with her or when you think about her. You find her very attractive that you can't get it off your head. What makes you change your mind about her is of course when you are disrupted, you need to do something, and another attractive object, issue or girls comes along your way. If you are really devoted to the time on thinking about her then you will really get stuck with it. And you want that you must not be disturbed. It seems that you really want the girl.

Nathanael King is a Clinical Hypnotherapist, NLP practitioner and weight loss & nutritional therapist. He also helps people suffering from panic attacks or social anxiety. He has written a book on how to build confidence instantly using NLP techniques. Please click here to download now. You can also sign up for weekly newsletter at http://www.SelfProgress.co.uk for your growth.

Posted by Shescomeundone

But if you had a good thing going would you be pursing another woman for conversation, mental, spiritual connection—

The question didn't involve the pursuit of another woman. It was asked if we met someone that we had a mental connection with, would we be attracted to them and think about them. There was certainly nothing about spirituality in the OP.

We can't really help who we happen to meet at random while going about our daily business, and sometimes people just click. That isn't something to be helped either which why I said that it's human to feel temptation or have a passing thought about someone else.

But in any case the answer is still no. If I had a good thing going for me at home that I was happy with there would be no reason to jeopardize that. Doing so would be highly irrational.

For me I would actually say that kindness is the most important thing, then probably intelligence and then looks. But on the other hand if somebody is kind and/or intelligent then I think it will show in their face and make them attractive anyway.

Posted by TMV

Posted by Shescomeundone

But if you had a good thing going would you be pursing another woman for conversation, mental, spiritual connection—

The question didn't involve the pursuit of another woman. It was asked if we met someone that we had a mental connection with, would we be attracted to them and think about them. There was certainly nothing about spirituality in the OP.

We can't really help who we happen to meet at random while going about our daily business, and sometimes people just click. That isn't something to be helped either which why I said that it's human to feel temptation or have a passing thought about someone else.

But in any case the answer is still no. If I had a good thing going for me at home that I was happy with there would be no reason to jeopardize that. Doing so would be highly irrational.

click to expand

I'm sorry my word pursue was not exactly what I meant.... If a man or woman for that matter was happy in their home or current relationship would a mental attraction or physical or spiritual attraction undermine the happy home? Or would that " connection not even happen if the home life was good? I'm not sure if I'm getting my question across??

Posted by Shescomeundone

I'm sorry my word pursue was not exactly what I meant.... If a man or woman for that matter was happy in their home or current relationship would a mental attraction or physical or spiritual attraction undermine the happy home? Or would that " connection not even happen if the home life was good? I'm not sure if I'm getting my question across??

I think a connection could happen even if someone is happy with the relationship they're in. A person doesn't stop being human and being attracted to others or connecting with them just because they have a partner. And I suppose for some people a new connection could undermine what they have. Like a shiny new toy or something.

That speaks more of the individual's maturity level and sense of devotion than anything though. Personally I see such actions as being irrational. Why risk a sure thing for the gamble?