Getting Complicated!

*of a stormy sea.

His work on himself has absolutely nothing to do with you. He's an introverted personality who has to overcome his psychological road blocks all by himself. This is his journey, his life to fight for.

You are not his mama. You're not his therapist. You're not his wife. Be what you are. His girl-friend.

His present issues should not effect your happiness with him and if it does maybe you're with him for all the wrong reasons.

Why not spend some real quality time together that has nothing to do with talking about his problems. Instead Do something unique, interesting and/or fun which can add some positive feelings for the both of you about one another.

Just tell him you are 100% positive he will do what's best for him and then you LET IT GO and go tend to your own life because you do have a life of your own that needs your time, energy and support.

He does not want to fail with you or with anything in his life so give him some space to figure it all out and he will figure it out if you're patient.

Let's be honest who is going to respond with "aww honey you can do it!"
most ppl would jump out a window with that load of laundry dumped on them.
as I said before he needs to focus his energy in a productive manner.
encourage him to paint, write a book.. Heck join a pottery class with him. I don't care if he doesnt have a creative bone in his body, but he does need a physically creative outlet. something you both can get involved in. If not yes leave because this is going no where good.

Posted by Weeds
Let's be honest who is going to respond with "aww honey you can do it!"
most ppl would jump out a window with that load of laundry dumped on them.
as I said before he needs to focus his energy in a productive manner.
encourage him to paint, write a book.. Heck join a pottery class with him. I don't care if he doesnt have a creative bone in his body, but he does need a physically creative outlet. something you both can get involved in. If not yes leave because this is going no where good.

^^^THIS....too much sense and very accurate! Us Virgo's can truly be our own worst enemy sometimes and are often too hard on ourselves the most, so I find that any type of creative outlet usually does the trick!

Thank you guys, Your words means a lot to me.

Ok so i discovered that he is an INFJ personality type. He told me that he hates to be this type and willing to change but he's afraid that he might lose all the gains of this type. Anyway i ll get back to your suggestions.

@damnata - hes not really emotional, he doesnt like to talk about his problems, hes really indifferent, unmoved and disinterested type of a person. Its just that after my last thread i thought i ll give him space so he can come back to me whenever he feels like and it took me an hr of appology and a good amount of words to get him to talk to me about his problems. Its like we have a future together and i cant leave him to his worries, there's too much happening in my own life that i cant seem to cope up with his mood swings and lost phases. I think that one of us has to be patient and a bit understandin when the other is down but the thing is that he's hardly there for me. Its like everytime i wanna talk about my problems somethin or the other comes from his end and then all i do is to keep listenin to his anxiety and find him solutions! He would listen to them but wont implement them. So you cant really say that i have been a bad gf. I think the amount of time i've already invested in him is a lot bigger than his problems alone so if i can stick around and be patient for all this while , why wouldnt i do this now ? but sometimes you need someone to listen to you and tell you that hey sweets i m there, lets just forget everything and start fresh! but hey guess what i m not so lucky.



@Tiki33 - "You are not his mama. You're not his therapist. You're not his wife. Be what you are. His girl-friend".

I totally agree with you, but unfortunately i have been doin everything in my power to control the situation and get him out of stress. I feel like i m a therapist already and that he enjoys it. He just wants to be sure that i m around, and not going to give him up. Its like i m making sure that nomatter what i m one stupid ass who ll stick around forever waitin for some magic to happen and soon we ll have a better life. But this isnt goin to help i feel. Thats why i come here and try to pick things up so i can do somethin about it.

Thanks very much for your kind words, i m gonna be takin your suggestion.


@weeds - Your suggestions have been well taken. I have asked him to do some activity, I like outdoors, pool, golf, tennis anythin but he likes to stay indoors an

@weeds - Your suggestions have been well taken. I have asked him to do some activity, I like outdoors, pool, golf, tennis anythin but he likes to stay indoors and he's big on reading so i recently got him a few books, and then i engaged him in some intellectual and fun talks, just to light up his mood. It seemed to work out a bit but we cant do it on a daily basis so i ll try to do it a little more on a regular basis, lets see ! See being a leo i m very energetic, i dont give up easily but he drains me out so quick that i feel like aah im better off alone, watch a movie or catch up with a frend. haha !

p.s oh btw i even asked him to watch " the age of adaline" with me and he refused. he was too sleepy to do that :/


@dontgetmewrong - Yes I agree with you cause there's a limit of my patience so in the end it does feel that its taking its toll on me, however i m still tryin, but anyway thanks for your advice. I ll update ya'll soon on how things turned out haha but for now I think patience is my second name !


@Lovelyisis - Yeah my guy says the same, that he's his own enemy and he thinks he doesnt deserve me cause i m too good to be true. LOL

btw is that a good idea to ask him to read about his sign's positive or negative traits so he could overcome his problems? Or should i tell him that i come here and i've got to know a lot about his personality, Virgos dont take criticism so i guess i should just stay quiet for now but what do you think ? :/