He is still using his dating app

This is frustrating and a little scary but we have been dating for about 8 months now and he still uses his Okcupid (where I met him) and Tinder. His reason for it is to laugh at the people on the app at their summaries of themselves but honestly I don't know. He is a Virgo and he's being very confusing. He says he loves me but more in a passive and sort of teasing way but he gives me lots of affection and kisses. He has admitted that he looks at other girls but only to see my reaction and to make me jealous but he says that he has been cheated on and wouldn't do it to me because he knows how it feels. He wants me to come over a lot for cuddling and sex and also just to hang out but sometimes he doesn't text me back like today I told him to have a good day at work but I guess he didn't work today but he still has not said one thing back to me in over 5 hours. He says he thinks I'm fantastic and I have asked if he is happy with me but sometimes I don't know, what he's done and doing is bothering me and I don't know if I can keep going on.

Is he still keeping his options open or does he really care but doesn't want to fully commit? I don't want to know if he is cheating or has already or planning on it, just a straightforward answer but he's a Virgo and I'm a Cancer so I'm sure I'm overthinking it. But what's going on?

Posted by cancer_wyrm
His reason for it is to laugh at the people on the app at their summaries of themselves but honestly I don't know.

^This was my reasoning but not to laugh...as far as OkCupid went it was about the tests on that site that were interesting to me. My ex had his profile up too...but we knew each other well so the "I honestly don't know" part is kinda puzzling to me. You don't know his character by now?

Then it gets more confusing....

Posted by cancer_wyrm
but only to see my reaction and to make me jealous but he says that he has been cheated on and wouldn't do it to me because he knows how it feels

^This is a red flag to me. For one, Virgos do not intentionally provoke jealousy in their partners, it's not something we'd do. + if he's been cheated on, why is taking a gamble with you being hurt over his actions/remarks? We don't play it this casual.

Posted by cancer_wyrm
sometimes he doesn't text me back like today I told him to have a good day at work but I guess he didn't work today but he still has not said one thing back to me in over 5 hours.

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You're sounding dramatic with the over 5 hours part...

It sounds like the dynamic is...iffy on both sides. I don't know your part in this and whether you are being demanding or something provokes his behavior, nor can I tell if he is really that involved. The part where you said "He wants me to come over a lot"...idk, doesn't sound like a couple to me. Does he meet you at your place too? Do you guys go out? Are you included in his life? Because on that line alone it sounds like a FWB.

I guess my main concern here is why 8 months have gone by without getting to know this person. You should be more secure at this point within dating. And even when we just...date, we are focused on that person. But most Virgos I know go pretty quickly after whom they want. And even when they move slowly, they don't leave the other person in this state of confusion, unless something prompts them to see red flags.

From my interaction with Cancers and Virgos, passive aggressiveness seems to show up in this pair a lot. Communication doesn't seem to go effectively, leaving a lot of doubts lingering.

You should feel comfortable to address all worries and feelings with him by now. I suggest doing that, not in the accusatorial tone Cancers get but as a means to get understanding.

Posted by notsosure
Look at the apps together! And laugh. Make it an open thing instead of something scary.

Yeah this is solid advice. Otherwise, if it bothers you that much, ask him if he could delete it since it makes you feel uneasy. Are you guys in an exclusive relationship though?

We have both gone out on a lot of dates and I have seen his friends and his family. we haven't had many dates lately because I work in the mornings and he goes at night so we don't get much free time. But on the dates he holds my hand and we joke and he is very sweet to me, I know all this is confusing but I guess I'll just keep watching him and see what happens. My problem is not putting trust into people but trusting people is hard but I'll let this go for now and see what happens

He isn't fully ready or willing to settle. Whatever that means to him.

You'll know a man is ready to settle when his testosterone levels drop and he hands you over his testicles in a jar.

Posted by FknNerd

Posted by Damnata

Posted by cancer_wyrm
but only to see my reaction and to make me jealous but he says that he has been cheated on and wouldn't do it to me because he knows how it feels

^This is a red flag to me. For one, Virgos do not intentionally provoke jealousy in their partners, it's not something we'd do.

*darts eyes to the side* yeahhh, I'd never do that *cant look at damnata in the face* quit making me sweat Damnata! I'm trying to stay cool for the summer gad.

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-.-

I'm currently at 8 months with my Taurus fella. I'm Scorp. If I discovered he was still swiping on dating apps etc at this point then I'd be concerned (that puts it politely). I don't get the 'I'm still on it for a laugh' thing but each to their own. If it bothers you that much then as others have said, you need to discuss it with him. At this stage, after 8 months, you should know him well enough and know whether this is or isn't worth continuing. If you can't discuss this subject or other subjects with him then that's not a great match. If it's like this now, how might you get through the next few years or decade or the next 40 years together?

The not replying for five hours isn't a huge issue. People have things to do.

Get on the app and you can when he sees you he might not be laughing anymore