Hmm..strange and unexpected...

Today my Virgo decided to call it a day with me by text. I must say it's come as a bit of a surprise, I wasn't expecting it all. I am not here to bash Virgo males..I have no reason to hate anyone..

He said he thinks that I will not fit into his family well. He said I wouldn't like him as a person in the long run cos he can be a bit of a dictator (must be that mars in scorpio and leo rising). He wants someone completely flexible because he doesn't know where he will be settling..with his parents, abroad or anywhere in the country (I've told him before that I have no problem with this). He also said that I was too outgoing for him and that although he can be, he doesn't think our life style s match. And this is based on a feeling that he gets. He doesn't think our personalities go well together. Considering we saw each other on Friday and everything was fine...although i did have to rush off..

I think the reasons are:
1) he doesn't like anyone pointing out his mistakes (I haven't done this but where he has stepped out of line, I have told him about it)
2) At times I have been busy and not been able to see him but I have always told him in advance. I think he doesn't like this. When he wanted to meet, even if it was last minute..I did make every effort to see him. He can be pretty inflexible but expects complete flexibility back.
3) He thinks I am competition in some way although I have made it clear I am not here to compete with him and that it is not a game of one upmanship
4) He is afraid that because we can have disagreements at times in private that I will do this to him in public or in front of his family. I assured him I am not that kind of person. Theres 2 things I despise..being embarrassed in front of friends or being disrespected in front of family.

So I listened to everything and in a very calm manner I said, "U know for someone who is so practical, I think you have judged aspects of my personality very hastily and based on a feeling that you get. We haven't spent long periods of time together for you to make such assumptions. You want someone flexible however you are pretty inflexible yourself. I thought you would've liked someone not totally reliant on you. I thought we made a good team. It's a shame really but if that is truly your decision then theres nothing I can say or do really. I am not going to force you to like me".

So I listened to everything and in a very calm manner I said, "U know for someone who is so practical, I think you have judged aspects of my personality very hastily and based on a feeling that you get. We haven't spent long periods of time together for you to make such assumptions. You want someone flexible however you are pretty inflexible yourself. I thought you would've liked someone not totally reliant on you. I thought we made a good team. It's a shame really but if that is truly your decision then theres nothing I can say or do really. I am not going to force you to like me".

Oh MM, I'm sorry 😢

Thats part of the reason why I brokeup with my ex, HE misjudged my personality very hastily. In such a short amount of time, he thought he knew me, when in fact, he did not.

It was my fault really because I should have "stressed" the fact that we needed to stay friends longer instead of jumping into some kind of crazy passion-driven mess!!! 😢


Again, I'm so sorry. I will not bash virgo guys either but I know the feeling of, "What has happened here, this man has changed."

I guess I am just a bit perplexed. Where did this all come from all of a sudden?. Things were going quite well. I spent the weekend with my best friend cos we had arranged a girly weekend together. Spa and everything out of London..a countryside retreat. Is he annoyed I had to rush off on Friday? I did tell him well in advance.

I just think he's fed up of London and wants to leave and he feels I am not ready to leave London behind. Something has triggered it. He doesn't know me well enough to know whether i will fit into his family. I thought we were taking it easy but he's thought that far ahead. Mixing with family = marriage where I come from.

Is this another one of those push/pull things? Any feedback would be welcome. I am relatively calm but of course it's rather sad if this is the end. I geniunely liked the guy for the first time in a very long time.

Is this another one of those push/pull things?

Yes

First off texting a break up is so lazy and rude, you deserved a face to face or at the most phone conversation regarding his concerns, men either feel it or they don't, trust me you could have been the most evil bitch on the planet and if he felt that deep gut level attraction he wouldn't have let you go but it's obvious he wasn't feeling it deep enough, men know if your the one fairly quickly, this guy actually did you a favor, he knew he wasn't feeling it and ended the relationship irregardless how he ended it, he realized he wasn't attracted to you enough to continue on, if his views about you don't match up and he's judging you hastily I feel he's seen enough to know that your not a good fit for him and there was need to ask you to change or put you in that position better to end things, whether you agree or not it's the way he feels, I think part of the problem with him is that you may unknowingly didn't acknowledge his feelings about you and wanted to defend your stance or point out how wrong he's seeing things which killed attraction on his part, you may not agree with him but it's wise to acknowledge how he feels and really go inside to see if any of it is valid, if it's not valid then you could reason that he's making things up to get out of the relationship, seems your strong personality didn't match up to him and he may have felt like he couldn't be himself without criticism, criticism sounds pretty loud to a man that isn't used to it and it also feels naggy to a man, it seems this guy didn't feel understood and opted to break up.

I guess I am just a bit perplexed. Where did this all come from all of a sudden?

The thing about some men that I have learned is if there is a problem you will be the last to know, they will take tally, add it up and opt out of the relationship, they will not talk about it, they won't try to fix things because he figures your just being yourself so why try to change a person and I know it seems sudden but most likely it wasn't all of a sudden, it's been brewing underneath for some time now...

"I just think he's fed up of London and wants to leave and he feels I am not ready to leave London behind. Something has triggered it. He doesn't know me well enough to know whether i will fit into his family. I thought we were taking it easy but he's thought that far ahead. Mixing with family = marriage where I come from."

He may be fed up with London but let's not undermine his intelligence, he took some time to think it over, virgos are not impulsive with decisions, he knew the relationship would move forward into something more serious and his heart wasn't in it, he most likely knew you weren't the one the minute the euphoric rush of new relationship worn off but you were available and thus he stuck around...don't be suprised if a new kitty comes up on the block fairly soon

Where I thought he was right, I acknowledged it, where he was wrong I pointed it out. I am not a saint but I openly admit to my mistakes. He isn't a saint either. I told him i respected the fact that he had the balls to tell me..but it's wrong to do it by text. We did speak but I am too of the same temperament whereas I think it was rude to text.

I don't know what his reasons are. If a guy likes you enough he will amend his ways somewhat. He was pretty inflexible. He said "you are a strong, confident woman and it's really not about the attraction. That is not the issue". He is pretty traditional. i.e. He believes he should be the one bringing in the money and have a career. I think he thinks I won't ever obey him. Undercover control freak me thinks.

Maybe he felt misunderstood...but he didn't get no kitty..or whatever that means. I didn't sleep with him yet. I don't sleep with anyone that quickly. We were affectionate yes. He wanted to sleep together but I would refuse until we were sure about how we felt. He said, "you are making this impatient man wait"..

If a guy likes you enough he will amend his ways somewhat. He was pretty inflexible. He said "you are a strong, confident woman and it's really not about the attraction. That is not the issue". He is pretty traditional. i.e. He believes he should be the one bringing in the money and have a career. I think he thinks I won't ever obey him. Undercover control freak me thinks.

Yeah ... sounds like we had the same problem. The difference is that I ended the relationship. I don't like being told I have to give up who I am to match him, you know. After our last conversation, thats basically what it came down too. He wanted a woman that would take care of him and thats fine, I can do that. But I need some space to take care of myself first.


So your ex was intimdated by you as a professional woman right?

I'm hurting a bit myself so I can't give advice but I can certainly say that I understand you.


I'm not hurting over the breakup, I'm hurting over the fact that I had to do it, to keep my sanity ...

Plus, you two really didn't know each other long enough for him not to be flexible be with -- to be that rigid right away is bad.

I didn't sleep with him yet. I don't sleep with anyone that quickly. We were affectionate yes. He wanted to sleep together but I would refuse until we were sure about how we felt. He said, "you are making this impatient man wait"..

I heard that before!!! But you were a bit strong than me in that respect. I will admit that my ex is the first guy I have ever sleep with that quickly but hey, I can make a mistake every now and again ^_^. I usually wait a long time too.

You are righ. He doesn't know me well enough. His biggest gripes was that he didn't want to live in London after marriage or whatever. This is the guy that wanted to get married like in 2 weeks!. I don't think the attraction was the problem..as he always literaly pounced on me the minute he saw me, was very affectionate towards me. He had issues with being told what to do..which is fair enough, I never nagged..not in my nature. I always just point things out and whether they agree with it or not, that's my opinion.

You are right, too much rigidness at the beginning is not a good thing..but I guess he thought if he was too much of a giver then he might get taken advantage of. I was always very honest with him. I think I would know if someone was attracted to me. God you can't force someone to like you..lol..they either do or don't. He was always the one chasing. I reciprocated..didn't play any games..but the interest was from him moreso than me at the beginning because he wasn't my type of guy. When we had conversations he grew on me. But 3 months is nowhere near enough for me to establish solid feelings for anyone..it's still getting to know. I don't think he saw me as a long term wife material perhaps.

Oh no missmorals I wasn't saying you slept with him, I mean he most likely found someone that matches his ideas and temperment and before pursuing that he wanted to end things, If he's old fashioned then he's right, you will not fit his life style and he will not want to be challenged each and every time about his views, he seems lazy if you ask me but only you really know that, I'm guessing he wants easy and although he wouldn't really respect a woman like that it allows him to be in charge and be lazy when he chooses. Also him breaking up with you is a power play, he's attempting to see if he can control you by making feel insecure enough to want to fix it, he most likely feels somewhat emasculated and insecure around you. Actually it is about the attraction, he's not attracted to women that are strong and confident, he respects it but he doesn't want it in his life least not now, he feels he can't control you and that makes him feel insecure inside.

Attraction MM is deeper than him wanting to pounce on you, it's a gut level attraction that makes a man feel bound to a woman to where he couldn't imagine living without her, he didn't have that feeling or he wouldn't have broke up with you and most men just cut there ties with little to no explanation and leave women guessing about why it ended and if he had to grow on you then that alone says you really wasn't that into the guy, I'm not taking his side but it seems he may be right in leaving the relationship.

Tiki: "Also him breaking up with you is a power play, he's attempting to see if he can control you by making feel insecure enough to want to fix it, he most likely feels somewhat emasculated and insecure around you. Actually it is about the attraction, he's not attracted to women that are strong and confident, he respects it but he doesn't want it in his life least not now, he feels he can't control you and that makes him feel insecure inside."

Yes, he did have control issues. Everything should be his way or no way. His own father said to him you have impossible standards. That's fine. Everyone has their standards but marriages/relationships are about compromise. I didn't see any compromising from his side. He doesn't want to be the giver..I think he gave a lot in his last relationship and she left him. So the guards have been up. But it takes time to get over these things. He is extremely blunt but then I never had a problem with that as I am too. I do think he has insecurity issues. But what the hell..if that's his choice then so be it. I am not going to go running after him. And yes Tiki..I think there is powerplay going on here..however I am not going into a relationship to compete with any man..he should add to my happiness not compete with me. There is enough competition in the outside world, don't want it in a relationship.

You know me, I will move on pretty quick..that's one thing i do love about myself..theres nothing that can make me feel bad or sad for long. Life is about motion..one should always keep going..If he isn't the one, then so be it, somebody else will be.

And tiki..Attraction isn't always right off the bat..physical may be..but if one is thinking long term then all things need to be considered..so although I wasn't attracted to him initially we had a good laugh together..and geniune affection. That was reason enough to carry it on.

And tiki..Attraction isn't always right off the bat..physical may be..but if one is thinking long term then all things need to be considered..so although I wasn't attracted to him initially we had a good laugh together..and geniune affection. That was reason enough to carry it on.

That's true for some women but with a man it's quite different, he has to feel that gut level attraction, that goes beyond the senses or he won't feel the relationship is worth much more investment, this is why so many women are getting stuck on the wrong men (not adding you in that equaition MM) some women don't understand how attraction works for a man they only know how it works for them, you did the right thing by taking your time but there had to been something telling you he wasn't quite the right fit or it wouldn't have taken you so long to feel attraction. Most women know right away if a guy is worth investing in, seems your hesitance may have been your red flag that he wasn't going to pan out but again these are gut level subconscious feelings, things most of us ignore in ourselves.

You are righ. He doesn't know me well enough. His biggest gripes was that he didn't want to live in London after marriage or whatever. This is the guy that wanted to get married like in 2 weeks!. I don't think the attraction was the problem..as he always literaly pounced on me the minute he saw me, was very affectionate towards me. He had issues with being told what to do..which is fair enough, I never nagged..not in my nature. I always just point things out and whether they agree with it or not, that's my opinion.


Thats right, I did the same but my virgo thought that my disagreeing with him were like protest. Disagreeing slightly was like protesting too much for him.

You are right, too much rigidness at the beginning is not a good thing..but I guess he thought if he was too much of a giver then he might get taken advantage of. I was always very honest with him. I think I would know if someone was attracted to me. God you can't force someone to like you..lol..they either do or don't. He was always the one chasing. I reciprocated..didn't play any games..but the interest was from him moreso than me at the beginning because he wasn't my type of guy. When we had conversations he grew on me. But 3 months is nowhere near enough for me to establish solid feelings for anyone..it's still getting to know. I don't think he saw me as a long term wife material perhaps.

Yeah, agree, I can't long someone after just knowing them for like a month or so lol, you know, I can care about you and I guess those are feelings but love ... oooo, thats strong, too strong for me, that takes time. I don't have the mind chemistry to fall head-over-heels for someone right away.

The ex-virgo of mine says he's in love with me ... I don't see how that could happen.

Men are shallow..they do love a pretty face and will do pretty much everything for that girl..So the gut level attraction maybe it wasn't there..who knows..I am not going to second guess here..as soon as he got in the car on our first meeting he wanted to know how I felt about him. I was like woah!..I've just met you!!..can we just at least go on the date first..I think he needed a lot of reassurance..

For a scorpio, yes attraction is important..but as clinical as it sounds, all other credentials are important as well..such as a professional career, good education, solid foundations. He was good "husband" material..lol..that is what I saw potentially in the long run...perhaps he thought I didn't like him enough..I don't know..He was sensitive in that he misunderstood everything I said to him..Even the humour he saw it as an attack of some kind..was very defensive in his comments..never critical..well not openly..

I am not going to sit here and stew over why he did what he did..just found it a bit strange and thought perhaps this is one of those push/pull things again...the amount of times I have heard virgo men pull the "i don't think this is working out, lets break up" only to come back and start all over again...

His family background is very traditional. Mine are outgoing and well North UK folk compared to London, two very different life style s...not to say it can't work as my friend made it work..however both parties should be willing to bend a little..

Men are shallow..they do love a pretty face and will do pretty much everything for that girl..So the gut level attraction maybe it wasn't there..who knows..I am not going to second guess here..as soon as he got in the car on our first meeting he wanted to know how I felt about him. I was like woah!..I've just met you!!..can we just at least go on the date first..I think he needed a lot of reassurance..

EXACTLY!!!!! Thats what I was thinking. Its like, okay, before you say all this stuff, lets get through the date first man.

And I contantly called me beautiful, I'm not sure if he was just staying that or what but yes, I kept using "those" type words. Yeah and he needed alot of reassurance too. I asked him once, "What do you want from me" and he replied, "Everything ... about 3 or 4 times a day, yes I want everything."


I was like whoa buddy ....

Yes this one was very complimentary too.."you are so beautiful" "god you are soo sexy"..nice..but of course as a scorpio I am suspicious of those kind sentiments until I feel they are geniune..I paid him geniune compliments back where I felt they were due...so never one sided..

Who knows..lets wait and see what happens..gut feeling is, its not the end..but if it is then I wish him well...

Would be interesting to see what Dy or any virgo guy has to say to this behaviour.

I'm sorry, twinnypoo. 😢

""...but Im pleaseantly surprised at how you seem to manage to keep composure despite all, you dont seem bitter towards all Virgos because of it, thumbs up! and CHIN UP!""



Ditto. After all, she is my twin. 😉😛

"the ones who have doubts usually go into deep thinking right before the holiday because of what it represents"

That's a very good observation.

Virgogotme: "Do I think it was push/pull? YES. You will know the answer to this for sure within a week or so, (hmm, maybe even sooner) because, I guarantee you he is reeling from the logical and sincere response you answered with"

Thanks..Yes I thought it may have something to do with powerplay. You see the problem with this guy, he cannot admit to his mistakes. Even if he knows he is in the wrong he will NEVER admit to it. He has a major chip on his shoulders. That has been the battle. So my guards went up ever so slightly but I am all for giving someone a chance to prove me wrong. Time and time again it was working on his schedule but did he acknowledge this?, never..he blamed me for never being available..that is really not the case. I know lovely geniune virgo's who after I left them text me several times and phoned to check if I got home ok. He always said text me when you get home but never acknowledged the text. It is so rude when people do that.

"What you need to do is decide, whether or not he is worth it to reconsider. Whose to say he won't do this again when another issue in his head comes up, and you have gotten the opportunity to get closer? It's a shame it had to play out this way though. Good luck. Keep us posted"

You are right VGM..I don't want to reconsider anymore quite frankly. If someone pulls a stunt like that it has tainted the relationship and it can never go back to the way it was. Especially since I know he won't do a thing to rectify the situation, as he is never wrong according to him. I can't pretend it never happened. He has had several chances. He pulled a stunt like that when he disappeared for 4 days. He tried his level best to make me believe that it was my mistake somehow when I know it wasn't. I was partly to blame but for that I apologised. Like I said it was an awkward situation one that I do not want to publicly declare so I didn't know how to handle it. I handled it the best way I could but he never apologised neither did he offer an explanation.

He will be fine with some easy girl who hangs on his every word. Truth be told, I don't think he's ever had to deal with a real woman. He was fine until he decided in his own head to start tripping on power and authority. Good luck to him whatever he does. I for sure do not want to lead that life style he has to offer.

I will keep you posted of course.

Sagigoat: About the valentines thing, I am of the temperament that it's a complete waste of time and too

and too commercialised..puts pressure on couples to do something on the day. Love should be given all year around..not just for one day. Empty gestures mean nothing to me. However given that it was Valentines day and what it represents (we weren't exactly on proper talking terms), I still sent him a Happy V Day text message. He never even responded. He can go to hell for all I care...

And Shaks..I have a lot of Virgo friends..as bloody annoying as they can be..they are geniune folk. And I love the truth however brutal it may be. I liked this guy's consistency. He has majory insecurity issues..I think once he has sorted out what he truly wants he will be fine..but he has a looooooong way to go..

I read a really good quote this morning. It came at the right moment:

Why ponder thus the future to foresee,
and jade thy brain to vain perplexity?
Cast off thy care, leave God's plans to him -
He formed them all without consulting thee

Anyways, thanks for all your comments 🙂
One day I shall post a bloody success story..lol....let the real men step up to the challenge.

I just happened to be at my friends house on Valentines day. The doorbell rang quite early and I went to get it. Her sagi boyfriend was there with 12 red roses with crystals on them, a little card and a present. He said "sorry MM, they aren't for you..lol.."...Awwww..what a sweet man he is. He had his kid for the weekend but he still took the time out to bring her the flowers and pressies..

Sagigoat..thinking mode or not..if you receive a text like that, it's just simply rude not to respond. But to each their own. Why should one change anyone..

First off I'm sorry MM for all this. It sux. I've been there.

"He will be fine with some easy girl who hangs on his every word. Truth be told, I don't think he's ever had to deal with a real woman. He was fine until he decided in his own head to start tripping on power and authority. Good luck to him whatever he does. I for sure do not want to lead that life style he has to offer."

When things ended (he disappeared) with my Virguy I thought the same thing. He was never in the wrong no matter what. Sometimes I think the only reason he even entertained the thought of "us" was because I was a challange from what he was use to with other women. I really loved him but I refused to cow to him and I'd call him out when he was in the wrong. I'd blame myself every time but eventually I thought that it was possible that he comepletely expected me to eventually worship his every word as the golden truth. NOT happening with me. I call it like I see it and that was hard for him to swallow.
To be quite honest I think it takes a very strong Virgo male to be with a Scorpio woman. Well.. it takes a strong male no matter what sign but in this case Virgos do not like to admit to faults and Scorpios are not willing to take the blame when we know better. And we shouldn't.
You're better off MM. But I know it doesn't mean it won't hurt for awhile. 😢

"I think it takes a very strong Virgo male to be with a Scorpio woman. Well.. it takes a strong male no matter what sign"



Weak .... the problem that most Scorpios face is that they think they need a strong person, and so this is what they look for ... and then it doesn't work out because the Scorpio wants total control, while the partner is the submissive one ... but, this doesn't ever happen because they erroneously picked a strong person, instead of the a weak one .. so, naturally, the union will be little more than a power struggle until it reaches a bitter end.

Scorpios think they want a challenge .. when in reality, they want the other to submit.

Scorpios are confused.



Missy ... I didn't read all of this, only enough to know what happened. One thing I observed through reading this and other posts about this V-man of yours ... you remained way too aloof for him to take you seriously.

I meant to tell you that before, and probably should have so you could take from it what would be beneficial to you as you relate to him ... but, didn't.

I say this ending coming already ... because you cannot be aloof like this with a Virgo and really expect them to value you worthy of a serious relationship.

I would beg to differ P. I don't think I was aloof. I just had a life that didn't always involve him and he didn't like it..There is a difference. I am not going to be at someones beck and call. I do have other priorities in life such as family, friends. He was there too of course and I usually give it my best shot..In fact I made more time for him than I ever did with any other guy..despite the crazy hours he expected me to go and meet him..but at the end of the day, the respect was lacking. I don't take that kind of behaviour from anyone. I don't like anyone unable to admit to their mistakes. It doesn't make you any less of a human being.

Scorpios have a problem with admitting to being wrong..but mostly if we make a geniune mistake we will wholeheartedly apologise..He didn't like the fact that I went out with my friends and spent weekends away although he never said. But it all came out in the end. He had control issues. Big time. I am not bashing the guy cos I thought he was lovely overall..We were very affectionate with each other..maybe I am not the kind of woman he was after in the long run..maybe he thought its what he wanted..but later realised no..but shit happens you move on. I don't stew over things as you know. He is yesterday's news. Today is a brand new day..If he comes back and apologises for the way he behaved I might reconsider..but I don't know..once somethings tainted, it's as good as gone for me. If Virgo's seek perfection so do Scorpios.

Virgogotme hit the nail on the head in one of her posts. Maybe he didn't want me to resent him for moving out of London in the long run. He did have major issues with the place..and he did bring it up constantly.

Gingerscorp...Yeah I hear ya. It doesn't matter though. I wish him well. I am sure he will find somebody that matches his criteria.

P-Angel: Scorpios are confused.

Spot on.

Scorpios try to deal directly with their conflicting passions; whereas, Virgo will try to ignore those impulses through keeping busy at practical tasks. Virgo works hard to keep the madness at bay...

Missy,

No offense, but you're my DXP Bridget Jones! I hate to think of you as a Perennial Single, but I do have to face facts in the end, no matter how unpleasant. Plus, Colin Firth is a Virgo, and I can see him trying to make sense of you, and - as I've done with my Scorp - getting it completely wrong again & again...

And yet, I know that Scorpio & Virgo can make it as a couple...

So, what am I gonna do with you, dear London Lady??

What a coincidence: Duran Duran's Ordinary World is playing on my WinAmp...

But I won't cry for yesterday
there's an ordinary world
Somehow I have to find
and as I try to make my way
to the ordinary world
I will learn to survive

Passion or coincidence
once prompted you to say
"Pride will tear us both apart"
Well now pride's gone out the window
cross the rooftops
run away
left me in the vacuum of my heart

What is happening to me?
Crazy, some'd say
Where is my friend when I need you most?
Gone away

As always, I wish you love, and hope that some man (preferably a Virgo!) finds a place in your world.

Missy: He had control issues.

Most Men who love you will have control issues. I can't speak for every Virgo Male, but I am more possessive than jealous. I'll give you your freedom, but I expect 100% fidelity in return.

but at the end of the day, the respect was lacking.

Okay, fair enough. Mutual respect is the key to a successful couple - especially Scorpio & Virgo. We both have underlying security & self-esteem issues, and these will turn into pure poison if one (or both!) disrespects the other.

If he comes back and apologises for the way he behaved I might reconsider..

If he's like me, he won't. When it's over, it's over - c'est la vie!

I hate this Missy - on so many levels I can't even begin to catalog them all - so I won't.

I totally agree ^^^
I'd have no respect for a weak submissive partner. I don't want a doormat. I admire strong people.
I want someone to stand thier ground when I NEED stood up to because I'm not right all the time and I know that. But being so strong willed I'll push to get my way. When I have a partner that says "hey, you're wrong" I step back because it's been pointed out to me that I don't have free reign to do whatever I want whenever I want to do it. I try to be perfect and I try harder to convince everyone I AM perfect. But I'm human and every now and then I need a person strong enough to knock my ass off my high horse and tell me so.

I'm sorry MM,that it didn't work out for you. There is no advice I can give you, but I will say you are handling it very well.

I also want to say, if there's something I've learned from this virgo board it's; virgos have a habit of coming back to you. So be prepared for how you want to respond if he does come back to you - or perhaps that's When he comes back.

Dy..please don't insult me by calling me Bridget Jones..lol..I can't stand that woman she makes me cringe...I am single because no man has stepped up to the challenge just yet..and I refuse to accept just anyone. maybe I have been meeting boys all along..But it's exciting..lets see what star sign finally puts a ring on it!..LOL..as Beyonce would sing..Hopefully it's not a freakin Gemini, Cancer or libra!...I am not an equation that the Virgo has to work out, I am a human being with emotions. If he tapped into his emotional side then maybe he would've been on the same page. You can't work me out on an excel spreadsheet!..jeez..And Dy, I have no problems with a possessive man..bring it on I say..shows he cares and wants you from himself. Fidelity is never an issue with me.

Weak..no way. I cannot stand weakness in anyone. Definitely not in a partner. If I am in the wrong, I want my partner to point it out. If he has a valid point and it's not out of spite, jealousy or some form of control, I will respect him for it and stand back, analyze and admit it if I am wrong. I expect the same back. It's all about balance as VGM said..balance creates harmony.

In fact I am often scolded for being too harsh with my words towards the ones I love..why? because it's a form of improvement for them. I want them to be as strong as me if not stronger..I can't fathom weakness. We all have fears, we are only human, however weakness in inexcusable.

I want to respect and admire my partner. I want to look up to him, learn from him, be there for him, be his shoulder to cry/moan on..but for that the man has to be a man and admit to himself first and foremost that he has emotions and it's ok to let them out every now and then. I don't want to spend my life with a robot..if I wanted that, I would go and buy one.

The reason I am handling it well is because I don't let my emotions get the better of me. Of course I was sad (I don't like goodbyes) cos as VGM said, I admired this guys consistency and to some extent I trusted him. But she is spot on, he did start taking things for granted. When effort starts to slide from a man..that's a tell tale sign that you are being taken for a mug. If you point it out and jack shit gets done about it..that's your cue to stop being a prat and do something about it...

Anyways, what's done is done. If he's made his mind up great..I am happy for him. I am not sitting around and waiting. I am getting on with my life..3 months ago, he wasn'

3 months ago, he wasn't in it..and it was great..so unless he's made a real impact and a difference to my life....it carries on from where I left off..LOL..Happy days!

Thanks you guys...for all the advice 🙂 you are all supercool.

So is anyone else annoyed with this new layout?...I can't get rid of this banner thing on dxp...

Ok update

He just sent me a text message...a week or two..don't know how long it's been to be honest, haven't been counting...but here goes...the message he just sent "Hi hope you are well. If you don't hate me too much by now, would you come to see me? are you free tonight?"

Bear in mind..it's like 12.20 midnight!!!...he just doesn't get it does he...I am not going to see him tonight..he never learns...

Hmmmm...

Just when I was getting on with life as well...for gawd sakes!..I am not going to reply. I want to think about whether I want to get in contact again or not...I don't like my emotions being played with...don't take kindly to that...

I wouldnt respond at all....he made his choice, he disappeared and HE didnt bother replying to YOUR text for Valentines Day right? why would you respond after he was so rude as to text you at that hour wanting to see you from out of nowhere? I hate it how guys do that when they know that the other person is ready to move forward with their life. Librans are very good at this too.

Nah I wouldnt go there again!!! But thats just me 🙂

this is exactly what we have been talking about with these virgo males. push and pull, the disappearing act etc.
apparently its worth hanging in there but it becomes quite draining on your emotions.
I'm hanging in there for my virgo male.
It really is up to you

I don't really know what to say to him in all honesty. I don't think he would be a good boyfriend in the long run. I haven't replied yet..simply because I don't know what to say to him.

I am not going to be at his beck and call. Never..He still hasn't apologised for anything and he expects me to go running? I am trying to think of the most diplomatic way of saying you've been an arse, admit to your mistake and I might see you but otherwise...what we have has been tainted and won't ever go back to the way it was.

Chatz...His venus/Mars although in Scorpio are in the Libra house..but I don't know..don't really care about houses or venus and mars..he's a human being first and a shitty one at that..

Lovelytune..if you are willing to hang in there thats fab..I don't know what I am supposed to be hanging on for...was he really that good that I should just sit and wait for him? Hmmm..the mind boggles...well if he took 2 weeks to think about it and then text..maybe I should take 2 weeks to reply to that text..I don't hate him but I do dislike him and not sure if those feelings are there anymore..

Fuck sakes..(excuse my language)

Posted by virgogotme
"
Do I think it was push/pull? YES. You will know the answer to this for sure within a week or so, (hmm, maybe even sooner) because, I guarantee you he is reeling from the logical and sincere response you answered with. What you need to do is decide, whether or not he is worth it to reconsider. Whose to say he won't do this again when another issue in his head comes up, and you have gotten the opportunity to get closer? It's a shame it had to play out this way though. Good luck. Keep us posted. A

and now it has happened. He has contacted you again, and now you have to decide, is he worth it.

I wouldn't know how to advise you at all. 😢 with the virg I know, I'm simply sticking too being good friends atm, and then maybe some deeper will develop.

I always think being honest and open is the best policy no matter what the outcome.
Can't you be open about how you are feeling with him. Tell him he fucked up and tell him in a reasonable rational way? Have you said you don't want to be used in such a way?
just some suggestions.

"Just when I was getting on with life as well...for gawd sakes!..I am not going to reply. I want to think about whether I want to get in contact again or not...I don't like my emotions being played with...don't take kindly to that..."


Missy, it was midnight and he wanted to come over, he didn't care if you hated him, just not too much by now so that you might let him come over.

He's not trying to fuck with your emotions .. you are only feeling these emotions on your end, he cannot feel them, you can .. nothing he said makes any suggestion that he's playing with feelings ... it does make suggestion that he wants to come over at midnight, perhaps to play with somethign else.


Nope, no mystery here ...



Think about this from the other side of the coin and it won't be confusing at all .... if you were all that into a guy, and thought maybe he hated you, but, called him at midnight one night because you wanted to go see him ..... what is it you want to see him for?

To do the washing?
To write your brothers wedding vows for him?

What?


Is it really that hard to figure out what this man wanted?




Seriously .. I don't get this ... why is it when a woman "feels" something for a guy, suddenly her brain stops working and she reads EMOTIONS into his every move.

Think about this from the other side of the coin and it won't be confusing at all .... if you were all that into a guy, and thought maybe he hated you, but, called him at midnight one night because you wanted to go see him ..... what is it you want to see him for?

--------------------------


Tsk !!!!


NOT ... if you were NOT all that into a guy, and ......

"Hi hope you are well. If you don't hate me too much by now, would you come to see me? are you free tonight?"





Where exactly in that ^^^^^^^^^ is there any implications of feelings on his part?

Control? Playing with feelings? Care about manners for calling at this hour? Guilt? Regret? wtf !!!!!!!


Missy, he had a hard-on, and was hoping to get serviced ...... hoping you didn't hate him enough to give him a nut ......

.... and you think it's about feelings ————————?

Lovelytune: "Can't you be open about how you are feeling with him. Tell him he fucked up and tell him in a reasonable rational way? Have you said you don't want to be used in such a way?"

After much deliberation, I sent him the following text about an hour ago:
"Hi..I thought you said I wouldn't be good for the family and that we weren't compatible. What changed?..I am still the same person. If two people can't even talk without one getting offended or are trying to change each other right from the outset, in my opinion thats not a good sign. We don't seem to be accepting of each others natures..and to be honest i don't really want to be walking on eggshells for the rest of my life".

He can assume or read between the lines or do whatever..It's going to take a hell of a lot to get my feelings back. Yes I do like him but at the same time there's an emotional block and quite rightly so from my side...he can't reel me in that easily.

VGM...Cool, I was waiting for your reply!!..lol..yep you got it..it's his roundabout way of saying he's sorry..and the fact that he expected me to go and see him at 12.20 midnight?!..you see he hasn't even taken into account how the bloody hell am I going to see him without a car..he's just thinking about himself..again!!..Interesting you say he might try and bump into me accidentally..it is a possibility seeing as he works 5 minutes from my office!.I could easily bump into him at lunchtime..

I just don't think he's the man for me in the long run..we would have too many problems..we would butt heads too often and I just can't be bothered..I will not bend to his ways and he is trying to change me. I am just trying to make him understand that he has to compromise. Why the hell should I be doing this in the honeymoon phase of a relationship..it's not how its meant to be..

P, I think you are getting the wrong end of the stick...read my message again properly...It says he wanted me to go and meet him. It's not like its the first time he's text at some ridiculous hour to meet..And please do credit me with some intelligence..I am not stupid..the first thought that comes to your head is he wants to get a bit of nookie..Whatever his reasons, I am talking about emotions from my side..If he was capable of emotion, we wouldn't be in this mess!..lol..If a man tells you that it's over then comes back on text (cos he hasn't the balls to phone) saying he wants to meet up again..he damn sure knows what he's doing..playing with emotions..he's not stupid..he knows exactly what he's doing..

As for getting a quick leg over..well he hasn't managed it so far so why would he think he had a chance now? lol...he should be so fuckin lucky!..

Trust me P..you are completely way off when it comes to your analysis of this guy...

I think you are getting emotional over my message in sticking up for the underdog..as Pisces are naturally inclined to do..and dissecting it completely incorrectly.

And plus I did say right at the beginning..the respect is lacking. I don't think the guy has any real relationship experience in all honesty. Don't think he knows how to treat women..But like I said..good luck to him...I for sure do not want a relationship with him. My emotions last only for the day of the event..

This ship sailed 2 weeks ago...it's landed at the port of Capricorn..lol..possibly..or maybe even a libra..as much as I hate to admit the latter..Arrrrgh I hear you scream....NOT LIBRA!!...I am screaming the same thing..I bet Gingerscorp has something to say about the latter...lol..I really seem to be getting on with Libra and Aquarius lately..these are all in my circle of friends..but a few developments lately..hmmmm..We are all organising a charity event...climbing Mt. Kilamanjaro..woohooo....adrenaline..bring it on..sounds superfab..cannot wait!

anyways, happy days...I am much happier when I am not waiting on any man...

I'm sorry to read this MM! What a jerk - he didn't apologise, he was the one that acted like a retard then he asks if you will make the effort to go see him at an indecent hour?? He sounds like a fuckhead to me. That was nothing but a booty call, and a friggin lousy one at that...god, some guys really have no idea do they lol!!!

That was really, incredibly disrespectful of him. You seem like you've got your head screwed on to me, so i'd say just be strong and move on! I don't think this guy is a good thing for you...As you said, the respect is CLEARLY lacking. Take care 🙂

LOL @ stringsattached..yes baby..quadruple scorpio!!...you are all correct..and yes I moved on ages ago. When I am with someone I will give it 100% . When it's over, it's well and truly over..no going back. He can be a disrespectful retarded commitment phobe on his own...He will squirm before I have finished with him. This isn't the end..he will be back again and again..and everytime he does, I am going to finish him by degrading him in the most diplomatic way possible...Cos it will be sooo much fun. I know his weakness..and he knows I know..Hehehe

::rubs hands::

Anyways...like I said..this ship sailed a while ago..went on a date organised by the girlies on Friday and it went really well...but to be honest, I just need to stay away from men for a while..more trouble than their worth.

The sun is out...but can't believe it's sunday already...off into town with the girls..

Ta ta....

🙂

"Hi hope you are well. If you don't hate me too much by now, would you come to see me? are you free tonight?"

"It says he wanted me to go and meet him."


Yep, I got that .. it isn't pouring out full of emotional gesture, which you already realize for you go on to say he is lacking in this area ... I say this isn't an emotional text, so why are you analyzing how he is intending this as an emotional consequence ... when you are recognizing that this is absent.


In all honestly, Missy ... I think you are who isn't getting hit here. It's like your brain knows but you have your brain clouded over ... so your feelings can take over and these feelings be confused because you refuse to acknowledge your brain knows.


On one hand you recognize that emotional depth is lacking severely ..

"If he was capable of emotion, we wouldn't be in this mess!.."

Then carry on about how insulted you are that he contacts you actually lacking in the emotional expression that you already know and is the reason for ending it.




It's like a circle .... you are getting all emotional over being upset because this guy is showing you by his actions how much he is an emotional moron ... and you are upset about it, because he isn't being mature enough in his emotions for you .. eventhough you already KNOW he's an emotional moron ........ and you are in here bleating on with other people about control, guilt, feelings and whatever else you all have come up with .... like you are insulted or summat.


Insulted of what? YOU ALREADY KNOW HE'S AN EMOTIONAL MORON, THAT'S (((((((((WHY)))))))) YOU ENDED IT WITH HIM, that's .......... why ..... why ....... why ........ why...... why....... why ....... why ....... why........ you ended it with him.


Do you get it now? ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^


You think I am reading this all wrong ... and I think you are the one who is reading this wrong, because you are the one in here expressing to us that you actually EXPECTED him to not be lacking in his emotional judgement, and are insulted that he did this ....

... when you know he is lacking in this area because that's WHY you ended it.



It's like looking at an orange and bitching because it's orange and not red.