Is this typical Virgal behaviour and what do I do?

Ok so i'll shorten the story for you all...

Spent the better part of 2012 chasing a Virgal... flirting, hanging out, lots of texting, facebook messages and comments etc. lots of hugs and affection when in person, basically a really awesome friendship developed and I fell for her. So I tell her I really like her, she tells me "im just a good friend" and in the last few months she's made no attempt at contact, all contact has been initiated by me, replies are always now very short as if she couldn't be bothered communicating, whereas 12 months ago she would initiate things and gave me what I consider to be signals of interest...

Is it typical Virgal behaviour to just suddenly close up? After giving the impression of being interested? She hasn't totally cut me off, she does speak to me, just feels like it's become a chore for her to do so ever since I mentioned anything. I'm feeling a little bit hurt and some resentment forming about it because I feel like Ive let my guard down, let myself get wrapped up in her and then suddenly I feel like im left hanging... I don't want to confront her, because if I'm wrong it could blow up and do serious damage, but I'm feeling very confused about it all and very lost without being able to communicate with her the way we used to. Sure, if she doesn't like me the same way, okay, fair call, I accept that... but it feels like the friendship is dying (a friendship she called herself as "good")...

Is this a typical Virgo thing? Or have I been seriously led on? I'm a Gemini, we're supposed to be masters at simply letting go, walking away and saying "whatever, not interested? fine, ill find someone who is..." and I'm really having great difficulty with that for some reason... never in the past, just now... really missing my friend, unsure of where I stand and unsure if it's a normal thing, or if I've really walked down the wrong path and read things wrong...

Um... help— 😢

I believe you have a case of unrequited affection here. You've expressed to her how you feel & I don't think she views you the same way. The avoidance can be because she feels uncomfortable in your presence &/or speaking to you at this point. I think you made it a little awkward for her.

Awkward for her? She's the one who initially asked for my number... she'd tickle me when we were together in person... she'd ask me to go to lunch with her... call me her "dearest"... leave reallys sweet and soppy messages on my Facebook for everyone to see... all I did was say "I like you"... I was upfront and honest with my feelings and thoughts. I wouldn't have felt anything if I didn't get the signals from her that indicated something... it's made it very awkward for me too. I didn't give her mixed signals, I've always shown her affection and sincerity with everything Ive said and done... I was actually rather shocked at her answer because everyone who was aware of the situation all said the same thing "she likes you, go for it!" and suddenly, cold shoulder...

I don't see how she can feel awkward when I'm the one who's been played the fool.

If what you are suggesting is true, isn't she doing the right thing? Contain the butthurt to a minimum and acknowledge you still like her and perhaps blinded to think you guys can hangout without emotions getting involved. Try as you might there's nothing wrong with that but don't force the blame on anyone else.

You're both to blame. See that and move on.

Posted by TheMoodyVulcan
This sounds a lot like how things ended with the Gemini I was seeing for a while last year. Basically that was a story of the Gem falling much harder than my Virgo bits. And then that lead to space crowding and feelings of being pushed into something that I wasn't sure I really wanted. The real kiss of death was when the Gem started coming up with plans that involved both our futures being fused together. If there's a definition of committment phobia out there, Virgo is probably mentioned at least once.

If your Virgo is anything at all like me, that space that you're feeling right now is her way of reclaiming her own life, territory, and sense of self. It's probably not that she doesn't like you or still want to be your friend, there's just a fear that lingering interest on her part could be misunderstood. I still have feelings for my Gem, but I go out of my way to avoid them if I feel like they're getting too close because I don't want to lead them on or spark any residual clinginess.

I imagine that you're fine in continuing to talk to her every now and then. The trick is just doing so in a way that doesn't send messages of desperation. There are so many people that communicate in that way without even being aware that they're doing it, and Virgo women are pretty good at picking up on those signals. Once you're genuinely and completely over what happened with her, she'll be a lot more comfortable around you.

So the question still isn't answered... is it typical Virgo behaviour to give signals and indications of interest and then bail out when interest is returned? At this point, all im hearing is that I've done the wrong thing, and as far as I'm concerned, I haven't... I took HER bait, ended up on the hook and now im hanging... but, somehow, I've done wrong? And he's hiding away from me? It's her mixed signals that led to me chasing her in the beginning... and im becoming resentful of it and I don't want to be because I genuinely do think very highly of this person and hold them in the absolute highest regard as both a woman AND as a human being... but this is tearing me apart. The friendship has taken a massive hit, im sitting here very confused and lost and feeling used and deceived.

Refer to this thread for a proper lengthened version of what's happened...
https://www.dxpnet.com/opinion/virgo/calling-all-virgals-i-need-your-advice-3516198/

Posted by harry99

Posted by SapphireGem

Posted by TheMoodyVulcan

is it typical Virgo behaviour to give signals and indications of interest and then bail out when interest is returned?

yes

click to expand

Nice to get a straight answer. Thankyou.

Posted by TheMoodyVulcan
This sounds a lot like how things ended with the Gemini I was seeing for a while last year. Basically that was a story of the Gem falling much harder than my Virgo bits. And then that lead to space crowding and feelings of being pushed into something that I wasn't sure I really wanted. The real kiss of death was when the Gem started coming up with plans that involved both our futures being fused together. If there's a definition of committment phobia out there, Virgo is probably mentioned at least once.

If your Virgo is anything at all like me, that space that you're feeling right now is her way of reclaiming her own life, territory, and sense of self. It's probably not that she doesn't like you or still want to be your friend, there's just a fear that lingering interest on her part could be misunderstood. I still have feelings for my Gem, but I go out of my way to avoid them if I feel like they're getting too close because I don't want to lead them on or spark any residual clinginess.

I imagine that you're fine in continuing to talk to her every now and then. The trick is just doing so in a way that doesn't send messages of desperation. There are so many people that communicate in that way without even being aware that they're doing it, and Virgo women are pretty good at picking up on those signals. Once you're genuinely and completely over what happened with her, she'll be a lot more comfortable around you.

+1

With fire moon and rise,that's a lotta heat your packing.

Try to pursue her still. I am quite like this. I like the guy, I flirt a little, but whenever a guy blurted out his feelings it scares the fuck out of me. No matter how much I like him. It's normal. Chase her some more. Hehe! but stop if she will not reciprocate it, stop what you are doing. She will notice that and will wonder. and boooooom! the next thing is victory, trust me, She'll chase you. Some Virgo gals prefers chasing. Constantly pursued equates boredom.

But sometimes pride comes first. If she don't like you that much. She'll put more importance with her pride rather than pursue you. She'll just feel the regret or pain in silence. You won't notice a thing.

But the key is persistence!

Best of luck!

Posted by VirgoTIN
Try to pursue her still. I am quite like this. I like the guy, I flirt a little, but whenever a guy blurted out his feelings it scares the fuck out of me. No matter how much I like him. It's normal. Chase her some more. Hehe! but stop if she will not reciprocate it, stop what you are doing. She will notice that and will wonder. and boooooom! the next thing is victory, trust me, She'll chase you. Some Virgo gals prefers chasing. Constantly pursued equates boredom.

But sometimes pride comes first. If she don't like you that much. She'll put more importance with her pride rather than pursue you. She'll just feel the regret or pain in silence. You won't notice a thing.

But the key is persistence!

Best of luck!

*blurts

*treetrunk = fvck

Don't listen to these bitter broads in here who are NOT Virgos. Those are projections of their failed relationships with Virgo men. Every situation is NOT akin to another.

Posted by harry99

Posted by SapphireGem

Posted by TheMoodyVulcan

is it typical Virgo behaviour to give signals and indications of interest and then bail out when interest is returned?

yes

click to expand

NO it's not. In your case yes because he wasn't interested in you.

Posted by TheMoodyVulcan

Posted by CluelessCancer
virgos are so perfect.

That's better.

click to expand

Lol...perfect, just like a robot 😛. No flaws whatsoever. We're invincible.

Posted by SapphireGem

Posted by TheMoodyVulcan
This sounds a lot like how things ended with the Gemini I was seeing for a while last year. Basically that was a story of the Gem falling much harder than my Virgo bits. And then that lead to space crowding and feelings of being pushed into something that I wasn't sure I really wanted. The real kiss of death was when the Gem started coming up with plans that involved both our futures being fused together. If there's a definition of committment phobia out there, Virgo is probably mentioned at least once.

If your Virgo is anything at all like me, that space that you're feeling right now is her way of reclaiming her own life, territory, and sense of self. It's probably not that she doesn't like you or still want to be your friend, there's just a fear that lingering interest on her part could be misunderstood. I still have feelings for my Gem, but I go out of my way to avoid them if I feel like they're getting too close because I don't want to lead them on or spark any residual clinginess.

I imagine that you're fine in continuing to talk to her every now and then. The trick is just doing so in a way that doesn't send messages of desperation. There are so many people that communicate in that way without even being aware that they're doing it, and Virgo women are pretty good at picking up on those signals. Once you're genuinely and completely over what happened with her, she'll be a lot more comfortable around you.

So the question still isn't answered... is it typical Virgo behaviour to give signals and indications of interest and then bail out when interest is returned? At this point, all im hearing is that I've done the wrong thing, and as far as I'm concerned, I haven't... I took HER bait, ended up on the hook and now im hanging... but, somehow, I've done wrong? And he's hiding away from me? It's her mixed signals that led to me chasing her in the beginning... and im becoming resentful of it and I don't want to be because I genuinely do think very highly of this person and hold them in the absolute highest regard as both a woman AND as a human being... but this is tearing me apart. The friendship has taken a massive hit, im sitting here very confused and lost and feeling used and deceived.

click to expand

YES typical virgal. We start to like someone once w