just friends?

Hey guys. So i broke up with my virgo guy some months ago and looking back i wasnt the best gf and i feel guilty about that. But i realise that i miss him very much. He really made an impression on my heart. After months of not talking, i cut him out of my life--i text him one night saying i missed him and he replied in his usual caustic way saying "u are missed as well" after that i told him that i didnt want us to be strangers so i was reaching out to him. He never replied for weeks until about a month or so later he text me asking "whats up" so i replied and what i get from our convo is that he was being all friendly for some reason--perhaps missed me or felt lonely and asked if i was hungry cuz he was gonna get some food--i dont know if that was him asking to see me but i declined..then it seemed like he realised he was going on a limb and so he retreated because he thn sent a txt saying he just felt like sharing, sorry to bother me. I said no bother and he said "wish you were here, sweet dreams." so i said sweet dreams because i started to wonder if it was a booty call. well i sent him a text last week (2 weeks later) saying i was thinking of him and hope he was ok. he responded the next day saying "kool-i'm on the go as usual, stay sweet" kinda feels like a brush off. now his bday is tomoro and i got a txt last nite inviting me to a thing he's having on saturday. i am wondering if he's just inviting me out of friendliness because when i was with him last year for his bday he invited his exes--doesnt like to be in conflict with anyone, though they didnt show. i'm not sure what to think, i miss him and he seems to be quite fine without me. how do i know he still has feelings for me. virgos are masters at hiding their feelings. is his birthday invite an indication of something more? ohh i dunnooo....

So, here you are acting like you are so confused .... when it's evident to anybody with a brain cell.


He asked you to go grab a bite and you declined ... then turn around and say he's brushing you off ... it's only a matter of time before he realizes that you never changed, and he will remember why he left you at the wayside.

There are many other details in between leading up to that point. i declined simply because it was late and i didnt want to just just at the opportunity the minute he calls. He asked if i was hungry, not that he wanted to see me and could he come by. So do you have any actual insights?

I already told you ....

I have to agree with the ladies here. From a virgo point of you, if you blow us off, we aren't going to try again. We take hints, we run, and you can't do much to really get us back unless you prove you really want to reach out and make some kind of effort.

So guys, this applies even though between the time i reached out to him and when he finally got back to me it was a month? To a gem, that hardly seems like he's interested. From my experience with him, when we were together and in our on and off stage he's call me up when he's leaving work in the laaaaate hours, call me up on what seems like a whim and we'd go home to his place together. I knooow that if i had gone with him that night we would have ended up back at his place. This was first contact after months, so i thought that was a no no. Well his party is on saturday and i don't want to look like a moping idiot if i do show up unless it would mean something. Sooo...inviting me to his party means something from a virgo's perspective, or just yahooo! i'm having a party let's invite eeeeverybody?!

Posted by Mallana
So guys, this applies even though between the time i reached out to him and when he finally got back to me it was a month? To a gem, that hardly seems like he's interested.

Then leave him alone.

People think they can run back in and out of other peoples lives like its no big deal. Seems a bit selfish.

The games people play..... why dont people just tell eachother how they are feeling?

Bella, would you explain what your last comment "maybe not though,as my mind works differently on these things"

And maybe you guys are right, I hadn't gone as far as figuring out if I would want to have another go at our relationship. I just realised that I missed him very much and wanted to know if he felt that way if we could get to talking again and see if there's still anything there. Obviously if he's moved on then it would be so, but if he hasn't then I would want to let him know i'm still interested. I just don't want to put myself on the line only to be rejected. It really sucks to be on this line because I am a master at hiding my true feelings and appearing to be aloof, self preservation. But to actually open up and really put myself out there, well it's scary.

Posted by Mallana

And maybe you guys are right, I hadn't gone as far as figuring out if I would want to have another go at our relationship. I just realised that I missed him very much and wanted to know if he felt that way if we could get to talking again and see if there's still anything there.

You dont know if you want to have another go with the relationship, but you want to see if anything's still there. For the purpose of what? Shits and giggles?

Well i guess i thought that me making any sort of first move would be obvious to him that i still care, because if i didnt i wouldn't bother to contact him. So yeah the only option is to be bold and out with it. For a moment i hoped the invite was a clear "read between the signs", and that would make me a little more secure in my decision to broach the subject.

So Bella, i shouldn't be concerned that he reached out at 12:30 in the morning to grab a bite to eat? That's why i declined because I felt that it was an after thought. Though perhaps now i realise that he may have been saving face by making it look so roundabout and that if he didn't want to see me he maybe wouldn't have offered. Oh phooey!

mallana,

i am sleepy, but couldnt resist and wanted to respond.

your virgo dude sounds a lot like me, except that i am a girl not a dude, but defenitely similar virgo ways.

so, maybe i am off, but i'll take a chance to share my thoughts.

i think you still have a chance with him or at least did when you first contacted him (who knows what is in his mind now).

now, i dont know what kind of chances he was thinking of, you know this guy well, so you know if he is the player type or not and if he is into booty calls or not (as you feared).

my take on it is this. he was happy to hear from you. he was was waiting to know what the reconnection was about, since you initiated it... then you probably talked about friendship, so that confused him. he might a) felt hurt and/or dissappointed that you were ready to be friends only or b) he felt confused and unsure which would leave him just as quiet because he won't ask you straigh up. remember, we are not a direct 'in your face' sign kinda like aries, we hide feelings and emotions and/or sometimes dont know of them until later. that is how we survive this world.

so, you contacting him, does not mean in his logical virgo mind that you want him back, makes sense?

then neither one of you opened up and for the reasons i mentioned above he took his time to think and/or try to prepare emotionally. later on, he tried to at least meet you casually and again i dont know if it was innocent or a booty call, it depends on his personality, and only you know that aspect of him. would he ever do that in the past?

in either case, the call he made for it was casual, again, because of the reasons i mentioned earlier. you turned him down,which is okay, as you have a choice. you probably left him perplexed, which is not necessarily a bad thing, unless there are other people persuing him strongly right now that he might like or consider liking.

so, the party invite. i think he wants to see you, but for now just in a casual way...to either read you or to have something casual with you, because he doesn't know what you want.

after reading your thoughts, i am not even sure that you are sure that you know what you want, so for the sake of fairness maybe you should try to just take things easy and go with the flow and see how things go. if you want to see him, then see him, but dont misslead him if you feel that you havent changed your mind anyways, i know your personality is different than that of virgo (h

continuation (as these boxes seem to run out eventually?!)

after reading your thoughts, i am not even sure that you are sure that you know what you want, so for the sake of fairness maybe you should try to just take things easy and go with the flow and see how things go. if you want to see him, then see him, but dont misslead him if you feel that you havent changed your mind anyways, i know your personality is different than that of virgo (hence the responses above) but i can try to understand your perspective. you just think differently, but remember his ways too. go see him at the party and things will be more clear, but be prepare for whatever outcome, otherwise invite him for a coffee or something simple that he might like and then you will get the chance to catch up. be open to either and dont take it personal if he doesnt respond the way he wants to in any instances, remember he is unsure about your feelings too, things might have changed in his world during this time, and finally, remember that he does think about you and most likely still like you, now its just a matter of finding out if he likes you as something serious still OR if he has put you in another category (casual situations) for whatever reasons and things that might have happened in the past or in his mind.

hope this helps a little! 🙂

Thanks Amour this really helped alot! Well, i fear that i may have thought the worst of certain situations because of my own experiences. He's always stressed that he has to be into a person before the whole sex thing, and i thought this was sweet and refreshing because the other males i've been with seemed to be all male and so into the physical side of things. For him he says the physical is connected to the emotional and so he wouldn't just do sex for the sake of it. But this was back when he was serious about me. When i was with him, he told me that the last girl he was seeing was more into him than he was into her and he would tell her all the time that he didn't want to be with her, yet he would still have sex with her and be with her. So how should i know it isn't the same thing? how should i know that he may not be serious about me in his heart and still entertain my advances so that i think that he's into me? This is why i feel like if he doesn't make any solid advances or the first move, then it means he's just not interested. From reading your post though, you make it seem like he could be interested in me still but will hold back until he knows for sure how i feel. I don't want to be a casual thing to him, but so far that's how he's made it seem. I guess it is fair enough since to him my behavior may come across that way as well. What i really wanted to know by asking for advice here, the signs that are unique to a virgo since they think so differently, the signs that i may be missing that show that he still cares. So from my story, when i texted him that i missed him and his "u are missed as well" = in a virgo's mind either he does, but he's trying to appear aloof in the phrasing or just by replying it means he really does care. stuff like that. I think though Amour you helped to answer alot of that and i take it you're a virgo?

another thing is, if things in his world has changed, where would that leave me if he in fact does have feelings for me in a serious romantic way? would his logical virgo heart decide to move on? because it would be so hurtful to have him chose someone else and then try to come back to me in case it doesnt work.

hmmm, speaking for myself...

When it comes to matters of the heart, there are no second chances with me.