Keeping in Touch with a Virgo

I wonder how do you Virgo people like to be sought out or kept in touch with without scaring you away? I'll elaborate more on this later but any initial insights would be greatly appreciated! 🙂

This is exactly what I need to know too!

Posted by aldebaran

I wonder how do you Virgo people like to be sought out or kept in touch with without scaring you away? I'll elaborate more on this later but any initial insights would be greatly appreciated! 🙂

scare away?

elaborate later?


ARe you planning on having a chain saw in your hand when you see him?

If you already have a notion that to seek him out, might scare him off ... then perhaps you should take a step backwards rather than try to learn a better way to come at him.

As the title says .. you want to keep in touch

to keep in touch puts the suggestion in the mind that this is a casual situation ... keeping in touch .... a couple or a potential for a partnership wouldn't be worded this way.

So ... if you need or want to seek him out, then this means he has pulled away, and if you already know that you might scare him, then this means that you have suffocated him enough that further contact with you would put the wrong impression in his mind. By wrong, I mean a different one from what you mean to intend.



So, again ... instead of trying to find more ways to come at him .. why don't you take the fact that to contact him might scare him away from you into consideration?

Because that is what matters .. not the method of communication.

Posted by aldebaran
I wonder how do you Virgo people like to be sought out or kept in touch with without scaring you away? I'll elaborate more on this later but any initial insights would be greatly appreciated! 🙂

Smothering = bad idea. We need our space.
Ignoring = bad idea. We do like to be needed.

Somewhere in between, keeping in touch lightly (reading our body language/tone of voice when you do to gauge whether we'd be okay with less or more, because we don't hide how we feel via expressions--trust me, you'll know) is a good start.

If we get irritated, btw, back off. Give us some cool down time, and if you approach us later on and we're still irritated, take the hint and move to greener pastures.

I have to agree to him to not pursue a committed relationship because me doing so has been proven to drive him away and to leave me broken-hearted in the past. We are back in contact just over a week ago (he initiated it on the pretext of asking for my opinions on an issue he was having) and we have kept in comfortable contacts throughout the week by establishing this non-committed rule. I just want to keep him around without disappearing again and to make him know that he can trust me... Sometimes I feel that he wants to seek me out too but he is too passive to do that but once I initiated it, he would actually took the rein. But he also mentioned we should not be in contacts every day as if we were in a relationship. I need to learn how to get this "balance" right with him...

I'm also in a similar situation and I have noticed that when we actually talk it's ok to be forward and speak my truth but it's not ok to be clingy. However it is ok to be loving and show that you like the person. It's important though that you are self sufficient and not clingy ie. you cant "grab" your energy from this other person (you can't do that with anyone) you must trust in that he likes you and will get back to you. And if he doesn't - he's not for you. Simple as that. I have however found that the Virgo I am talking to seems very eager to please other people and that is dangerous as he might do things that he feels is "nice" rather than true to himself. I have to watch that carefully so that I don't fall in love with someone that was "trying to be nice" to me. Good luck!

Posted by leoowoman
I'm also in a similar situation and I have noticed that when we actually talk it's ok to be forward and speak my truth but it's not ok to be clingy. However it is ok to be loving and show that you like the person. It's important though that you are self sufficient and not clingy ie. you cant "grab" your energy from this other person (you can't do that with anyone) you must trust in that he likes you and will get back to you. And if he doesn't - he's not for you. Simple as that. I have however found that the Virgo I am talking to seems very eager to please other people and that is dangerous as he might do things that he feels is "nice" rather than true to himself. I have to watch that carefully so that I don't fall in love with someone that was "trying to be nice" to me. Good luck!

Virgos just have their own measure of time & frequency. What might seem ages to the rest of us is a few seconds to a virgo. And what we might think a normal amount of texting/messaging/emailing is smothering to a virgo. It takes time to accept that just because a virgo wants more time or space between communications, doesn't mean they aren't into you.

My vgf explained his aversion to too many emails by comparing me to his mother (ack, I know!) in that as much as he loves her, talking with her once a week or two is a lot for him. I might message or FB my mom every day. His tolerance level for that kind of stimuli is just lower than for other people, but it in no way means he isn't happy to communicate with me.

It seems that virgos just have a way diff threshold for dealing with interpersonal stuff and the more communicative signs/types have to accept and honor that or move on.

The 'eager to please other people' thing is a very strong virgo trait. I stand back and watch my vgf do all kinds of stuff for others. He cares about them, but doing so much sucks out his life energy even thoug hhe can't seem to help it. I try to be a friend who appreciates his desire to be helpful without actually needing help myself.

Posted by leoowoman

I'm also in a similar situation and I have noticed that when we actually talk it's ok to be forward and speak my truth but it's not ok to be clingy.

Whoa !!! This current situation you speak of that is similar is that you are chasing a man who is already partnered. He has spoken to you about his feelings of guilt and that he shouldn't be carrying on with you ... so, he has stopped talking to you.


Which means ..... the situation you are in is that you are chasing a man who is taken by another woman.

Yeh!

I find that there is no balance, either a man steps up and expresses interest, or he does not. Rules? Erm, for what exactly ma petite? If there was a hard and fast rule book everyone would be with Mister or Mistress Fabulous. Keep that head up high with pride, try not to be sprung all the time. It's a mess. I take it this is the same fellow as before... in other words, whether you're trying to figure out how to procure a random nail clipping or strand of hair, keep true to yourself. Sit down and really think hard about how much crap you'll take, and absolutely what you will not stand for.
Take the bull by the horns and tell him to either have a nice manly on the ring of joy or GTFO of the house. And that would be your house. The one built strong from the foundation up.

Hey Dec. 🙂

you shouldn't worry if you scare him away. always be your genuine self even if the person you have a crush on can't handle it. it means they're not for you (at least at the moment).

Hey P-Angel!

You seem to know me.. (NOT) Sad to say that mine and virgos communication is going stronger every day and it's not me in the driving seat. Neither is it all about flirting anymore. I really like this guy, he likes me (he tells me) and I am not ashamed of being close to him. I know you dissect every word I speak but I am just doing what I feel and so therefore it might not always make sense to you what I write. Our situation is a lot more complicated and beautiful than I tell you and that you can see with the black and white specks of yours.

I personally like letters .... i like to keep and re-read things. its easier for my to analyze =P
be Jokes (not vulgar ones!) for me Im impatient but if im contacted once a day ill be fine
(If i REALLY like the person i want more) but if not and just kinda getting to know maybe once every second or third day.

but dont act needy. or jump at them too quickly. or ask overly amounts of questions (one cap did that to me drove me nuts, turn off .. funny thing is i do that when im into someone ... yes i can do it but u cant! lol - i've gotten better v.v)

i like to take things slow (while at the same time im kind of impatient)

I like traditional/old fashioned mannerism.
leave 'em wanting a lil bit =]

Posted by sandyclaws

My vgf explained his aversion to too many emails by comparing me to his mother (ack, I know!) in that as much as he loves her, talking with her once a week or two is a lot for him. I might message or FB my mom every day. His tolerance level for that kind of stimuli is just lower than for other people, but it in no way means he isn't happy to communicate with me.

It seems that virgos just have a way diff threshold for dealing with interpersonal stuff and the more communicative signs/types have to accept and honor that or move on.

I feel the same way too. I call my mother (she's a cancerian) once in a week. It's not like that I don't enjoy talking to her or hear news from her... but I kind of hate the phone. I use it only to transmit important information. Instead, she calls me pretty often. Is it a virgo thing?

Posted by 25thDecan

Typically women play this game of acting like a guy is a "buggaboo" if he is forward after number exchange and does exactly what he says he will do...contact you. Then later, see if stringing him along like that worked. Many women do this almost as if theyre trying to convince the guy that they are always on the look for something "better"...but it merely leads to her being placed "I'll just do what I can to hit it and find a sincere woman elsewhere"......

I noticed this too. Such stupidity...

As for the topic, I don't need to be messaged every day.
I don't want to talk on the phone everyday.
I see no need for constant communication.

Well timed communication, interspersedly, focused on short, to-the-point facts, works best for me. I don't need to hear about your grandma and her kittens, or what happened to the neighbour's dog. That's just wasting my time.

Posted by leoowoman
Hey P-Angel!

You seem to know me.. (NOT) Sad to say that mine and virgos communication is going stronger every day and it's not me in the driving seat. Neither is it all about flirting anymore. I really like this guy, he likes me (he tells me) and I am not ashamed of being close to him. I know you dissect every word I speak but I am just doing what I feel and so therefore it might not always make sense to you what I write. Our situation is a lot more complicated and beautiful than I tell you and that you can see with the black and white specks of yours.

The details doesn't matter, how much I see doesn't matter.


What matters is that this man has a partner, and you know he has a partner ... you are so smug when it comes to listening to anything someone tries to tell you ... but, one thing you should know and if you refuse to hear it, sobeit ..


A man who cheats on another to be with you ... will cheat on you to be with another


He has a partner, you are participating in injuring another woman's heart .... that comes back, you know.

I simply don't agree and I really don't understand how one person can be so stuck in one way of thinking...

Stuck in one way of thinking to insinuate that to have moral values is a bad thing?

You don't care about the other woman .... and that isn't my cross to bear no matter how many ways you attempt to make it look like I have issues for having morals.

Posted by Cajunspirit

Posted by 25thDecan

Typically women play this game of acting like a guy is a "buggaboo" if he is forward after number exchange and does exactly what he says he will do...contact you. Then later, see if stringing him along like that worked. Many women do this almost as if theyre trying to convince the guy that they are always on the look for something "better"...but it merely leads to her being placed "I'll just do what I can to hit it and find a sincere woman elsewhere"......

I noticed this too. Such stupidity...

As for the topic, I don't need to be messaged every day.
I don't want to talk on the phone everyday.
I see no need for constant communication.

Well timed communication, interspersedly, focused on short, to-the-point facts, works best for me. I don't need to hear about your grandma and her kittens, or what happened to the neighbour's dog. That's just wasting my time.

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Aaww..Puppies, kittens, fluffy bunnies..I love to talk about them!...lol