making a virgo jealous... right thing or not?

i'm a scoprio and been seening this virgo for about 7 months. i have posted on on here a few times before. we're more than friends although he doesnt like to say it. he seems to chat alot about other chicks and seems to think its doesnt bother me which it does. he clearly knows how i feel cus i've told him a few times. either i've killed the chase for him by telling him how i feel i dont know but he seems to chat to me like one of his guys mates, which i dont mind but it gets to me cus i see him more than an mate. he said he trusts me implicitly and wants me to feel like i can chat to him about anything and i always do that. about 2 weeks ago i told him that i was falling for him. i didnt chat to him for about a week or so. things are sort of back to normal we chat every day. we havent really discussed about what i said. but about a month ago we did chat about 'us' and he said to me that he's scared about commitment or hurting me. we left it at that and nothing else was said.

so today he starts chatting about another chick he fancies which i didnt like but i didnt say anything.afterwards i got a bit fruastrated with him and strated asking for some advice about a guy (there is no guy i made him up.. sad i know but he always chats about other girls i jsut wanted to see his reaction)He said he was upset that i didnt mention him before. i said it was a few days since i been chatting to him. he gave me advice about the new guy, 'make sure he dont just want a one night ting'etc. he's gone a bit quiet and havent spoken to him in a few hours. i dont know if i did the right thing.

i know its so stupid that i made this guy up to make him jealous after i told him how i feel about him. but he was just getting very frustrating and i wanted to see how much he cares for me. i dont like playing these games, i absolutley hate it. but i couldnt think of what to do. we are still mates and value his friendship alot. i told one of my gf about him and she says maybe he doesnt like to sexually or something, which isnt right either cus up until 3 weeks ago every time we met he couldnt keep his hands off me. is he playing too many mind games, did i kill the chase for him, am i not being astertive enough, i really dont know.

suprise suprise i am one confused scoprio!

will this jealousy thing work or am i hitting my head against a brick wall. help!

i dont know how clear he wants me to make it. He says to me i'm his best mate, i am good lover, would be a good wife and mother etc for him. that he can talk to me about anything and he trusts me. so i know he sees me more than just a friend. but then he says he has fears commitment and is afraid of hurting me. i think when it gets too 'cosy' he kind of freaks out and starts calling me his mate and talks alot more about other girls. i've always told him how i feel. i dont know how more aggressive i can be. i shy away.
could it be cus the chase is gone?


i dont know how relevant this is. but he does mention about my weight alot and that i should loose it and then i'll see how many guys will be after me then. i am trying to loose the weight. i aint fat, a little chubby yes. i know virgos have a thing for everything being perfect. i have noticed that the other girls he's dated they have been skinny chicks and i'm the full figure one. maybe thats be just reading too much into this.

You are, some men prefer a more voluptuous form and actually do not care for thin. All in the eye of the beholder. He probably thinks the comments like that are helpful. You can assure him they are not. And as to the making him jealous..not a great idea.
Figure out where your heart stands, and his. Be direct, straight forward and honest. If he'd like to step up, let him, if not then relegate it to friends only and move on with life. You are worth more than a *maybe*; always.

doesn't sounds like he's ready to move to the next level... let me guess, he got a leo in venus?

hades

hades: he's jsut very hesitant. i dont really know about reading into signs. but his birthdays 05.09.76

if you can shed some light into his charachter that will hep.

i need to know if making him jealous in that way is will make this worse?

Posted by talia
i dont know how clear he wants me to make it. He says to me i'm his best mate, i am good lover, would be a good wife and mother etc for him. that he can talk to me about anything and he trusts me. so i know he sees me more than just a friend. but then he says he has fears commitment and is afraid of hurting me. i think when it gets too 'cosy' he kind of freaks out and starts calling me his mate and talks alot more about other girls. i've always told him how i feel. i dont know how more aggressive i can be. i shy away.
could it be cus the chase is gone?


i dont know how relevant this is. but he does mention about my weight alot and that i should loose it and then i'll see how many guys will be after me then. i am trying to loose the weight. i aint fat, a little chubby yes. i know virgos have a thing for everything being perfect. i have noticed that the other girls he's dated they have been skinny chicks and i'm the full figure one. maybe thats be just reading too much into this.

Your exactly right that wight comment was for you to lose wight I don't like fat chicks ether I use that exact line before. Any ways you just solve your own problem you said he has a fear of commitment. Trust me he knows you like him he just doesn't want to be in a commitment thats all. Oh and jealousy never works on us you will just be hurting your self.

And what does 'that line' gain exactly? Someone hurt and angry? That seems to defeat the purpose shaming someone you only have feelings for on the condition that they are a waif.

Posted by venusianbull
And what does 'that line' gain exactly? Someone hurt and angry? That seems to defeat the purpose shaming someone you only have feelings for on the condition that they are a waif.

I am not saying its right I would not do that now but I have use this tatic before when I was in high school. If you look how he is uses his words "all these guys would be all over you if you lose wight". One he is setting up his words so you cannot attack him because he did not say you look bad because you are heavy. He is implying that you would look even better if you lost wight and that "all these men would be all over you". Also implying that he would also be all over you because he is a man as well and he has no choice to fall for you. This is what some men would call a seed when he said this she did not think nothing about it. But like a seed it will grow and it seems to work because she mention it here he knows she wants him. He just think that she is not at the level she need to be for him to enter a relationship. Think about it she made all these obvious moves so after a well she would think why is he not all over me. So she keeps thinking and thinking and she finally remembers that convo about the lost of wight. He hopes that she like him so much that she would lose the wight thats all i'm saying. Not trying to say it's right to do that.

Right. Which is why I said that more than like he thought the comment well intentioned. And that she was free to skewer him for it. Of course, if this is said to a certain type of woman you could either A ) get a toilet brush rammed in a very obscene place.. B ) wind up with a hurt woman with a "F*** YOU" look on their face or C ) someone telling someone else to take their superficial ass to parts unknown.
I'm not here to put you over the coals VK, just that I recognize the remark implicitly, and what it does to a person to hear it. Opposite side of the looking glass Alice, yeh?

And like talia who came here for advice ( Hullo by the way lady, I am VB, nice meeting you..welcome to the insanity that is dxp. ) I have borne children and am one zaftig lil' woman. I am not heavy, nor am I runway bony. And if a man doesn't like me just the way I stand, he can kiss my round, lily white bottom. I've worked hard, damned hard and still am, so *raspberries* to anyone who doesn't appreciate.
See there talia? EASY peasy, lemon squeezie.

Dear talia,

He's the Libra in Venus and Mars.... and most likely an Aqua Moon, else is Capri Moon (sry very limited info given) Well well, Aqua moon, hahah a tough one... 😄 and the Libra thingy put him in a position to play the Mr. nice guy...


Alright IF he's really a Lunar Aquarian... i would suggest you to forget it... he's detached and an independent freak, definitely do not have what you Scorp are looking for to fulfill your deep emotions... one moment he's close to you and next he's distant... Aqua Moon loves his own space and freedom very much and slow to commit... eccentric and unique (bet you find these qualities attractive)..

Libra in Venus is all about fairness and balance... he definitely do not appreciate that if you're making up story to make him jealous... so if you're into it, it's better to stop doing that and don't tell him you just did... 😉

Libra in Mars means they're indecisive but able to compromise in handling conflict... you can take the lead if you're sure he's into you...


And back to your question... making Virgo jealous is not a good idea if he digs you... else we're not bothered at all... and don't make up stories.... Virgo can analyze till the tiny bits and can tell if you're telling the truth...

Please look up his Moon sign and read up some of the characteristic on his Moon, Venus and Mars... and lastly, stop chasing and let him do the job... cold shoulder might work..

hades

Whoa Elle, there's nothing wrong being spacey... don't get your bad experience onto all Aqua Moon... 😉

Like it or not, you should respect these characteristic like you had the pride in your own qualities... Learn from the Libras that "Life could be fair"... 😛

hades

Ahh... fiery and direct Aries Moon... charging ahead as always... LOL.. imagine a charging Scorp sting everything that gets in your way... 😛

Aries-Aqua Moon should work... probably your Scorp Sun-Aqua Moon clashes..

hades

@talia: if you are in the right relationship,don't you think that,there wouldn't be neccessary to do this?

haha.. good for you.. virgo sun/taurus moon should be able to keep you 'grounded'... we virgo are good at that LOL 😉

hades

Two times, you have said something like .... maybe there's nothing left to chase .... and correct me if I'm wrong when I say that you are referring to getting the puddin Pie?


Everytime you make that suggestion .. I'm left with thinking that you are questioning that since you give him sex, then you have nothing left to bargain with, nothing left for him to chase after you for .. so, this would be the obvious reason why you fabricated another man.


I maintain, as I've always maintained ... sex is not a tool to use in manipulating a person into feeling for you ... stop it, I mean all of you ladies. If you want a man to respect you then you have to go with the nature course of interaction, and nothing premeditated for an anticapted conclusion.

Damn


But, what really bothers me more than anything here is that you also said several times that you don't like these games he plays .. which leads me to conclude that you are not aware of yourself.

The only reason you are confused is because you are creating a situation in which you have yourself believing that he is in control of your demise, in believing that how he accepts you (or not) is the answer to the questin you ask yourself = am I happy



This is the same reason why all these women in here are confused .... they seek approval from others rather than accepting themselves.

woot... Power-mouse dress like an angel... just kidding 😛

she's confused and inexperienced... that's right, confused and inexperienced!! give her a smack on the butt and set her straight..

btw, i don't recall she mention about giving sex though...

hades

Posted by aquilascorpiusfemina
OK, this just really pissed me off Talia! First of all, this guy is just keeping you around for "MAYBE", since he mentions other women or maybe dates other women; he's keeping his options open. You told him you fell for him, but he takes advantage of your feelings now and keeps treating you like a "MAYBE". Plus, he's got the guts to tell you that you need to lose weight for him, are you for real—?He wants you to be perfect for him and do changes, yet he still wants to keep you like an OPTION number 2,3, how many numbers I wonder?...It is funny how he expects you to do changes, yet he keeps doing his bullshit, without changing a thing about him. Woman, I am pretty sure this going to end very badly and I am sorry to say! This guy is a selfish prick that's just having fun, he's not a serious man. I hope you can open up your eyes more and see where this is really going, it ain't pretty! Use your head and your intuition, find the real meaning of your situation, and once you find it,you're going to make the right choice. Advice; Stop hurting yourself and treat yourself with dignity! Don't give your heart to a man that plays mind games. If a man really wants you, there shouldn't be any mind games, he'll be very direct!

Good luck

Aquila is right..he is keeping you around as a second or third option...no guy talks about other girls with the one he really cares about. I think he was upset about your "other guy" because he sensed it wasn't true.

Posted by talia

i know its so stupid that i made this guy up to make him jealous after i told him how i feel about him.

desperation makes people do stupid stuff .. instead of worrying about whether it was stupid or not, perhaps you should be focusing on why you are desperate to get him.


You ask if this deception in order to make him jealous was working or was it making you hit your head against the wall, and it's neither.

You started hitting your head against the wall from the beginning, when you pretended to be someone you are not.

sorry for the delay in reply... time difference🙂

i'm not a very forthcoming scorpio... a little shy, slow,introverted when it comes to guys.
it might make a bit more sense if i tell you he was my first. first relationship, love, first everything.
thats why i'm holding on a little longer than i should be. i wonna look back and say atleast i tried. i'm increadilbly laid back and easy going and i've sort of let him get away with saying stuff.

@hades thanks for your insight into his sign. its exactly like him. i cant belive how accurate it is.
i might need to read a little more into his character.We can talk for hours on end and we get each other.
its just works with us. we're there
for each other whenever. its like i known him for years we 'get' each other... it fits.
i feel like he's holding back on the final step.

i havent told you the whole story. we are differnt religions and i come from a indian family and he seems to think that
what holds him back in starting a proper relationship with me, cus in the future it might stop our relationship going forward. i'm not gonna lie. it probably will cause problems but that doesnt matter. i make my own choices at the end of the day thats what counts. he's actually going a bit too fast. i just want a chance to spend more time with him and just bewith him. i dont know if hes the one. he's just not giving me a chance to realise it. thats what bugs me. its like he needs to know all the answers of whats going to happen. he's not a risk taker and hesitates to take the next step.

i've tried to explain that to him and seems to hear me but doesnt really say anything. (think thats a virgo thing.. taking it in and analysing it) he'll say something later on i guess.

@p-angel you are a little wrong. i put an end to this a while ago. i dont use it as a manipulating tool. we've been in the friends phase for a while. lacking in the confidence department, i do seek approval in a relationship where i care what the other thinks of me.who doesnt. everyone does its in a differnt shape or form. i do admit changing my appearance is going abit far.

@venusianbull and virgoking i'm not saying that me changing my appearance is correct.
i do rememebr that i am a scorpio no one tells me to do anthing. i do it cus i want to. my weight has been an issue for me most of my life and i'm doing for myself more than anything. but cus he says the line 'guys will be lining up' thats what really gets too me.

@aquil

thanks for your advice🙂

Haha Elle, heard that from somewhere. Can't quite put my finger on it, but oh how true.

Posted by talia

@p-angel you are a little wrong. i put an end to this a while ago. i dont use it as a manipulating tool. we've been in the friends phase for a while. lacking in the confidence department, i do seek approval in a relationship where i care what the other thinks of me.who doesnt. everyone does its in a differnt shape or form. i do admit changing my appearance is going abit far.

If you weren't talking about sex being the thing you no longer have to make him chase you .. then enlighten me.

You ask ... "i do seek approval in a relationship where i care what the other thinks of me.who doesnt." ... and the answer is .. secure people don't seek approval to feel worthy of themselves.


You focus on the wrong fucking things, it doesn't matter about your appearance, it doesn't matter how many guys you make up ... what matters is that you present yourself to him falsely. A person cannot be real with your feelings, if you aren't.

If you pretend to be a different person than who you are then there's no way you could ever have a real relationship with him because he doesn't even know who the fuck you are.

I know you aren't going to get it ... and will continue to react to surface matter.

" ... it doesn't matter how many guys you make up ..."


Actually that ^^^ does matter.

What I meant was .... trying to make him jealous (by the making up men) doesn't matter.

jealousy is based on fear of loss ... and something has to be worth losing, before it can be assessed as that valuable.

If he is into another woman then you aren't worth anything to him for you to be in fear of losing and becoming jealous of the potential of this loss.


You are spending all your love wasting time ... and think you are doing something other than reacting to surface crap as it rises.


What the hell? I don't get it.


Is that all you think you are worth?

Posted by talia

@hades thanks for your insight into his sign. its exactly like him. i cant belive how accurate it is.
i might need to read a little more into his character.We can talk for hours on end and we get each other.
its just works with us. we're there
for each other whenever. its like i known him for years we 'get' each other... it fits.
i feel like he's holding back on the final step.

i havent told you the whole story. we are differnt religions and i come from a indian family and he seems to think that
what holds him back in starting a proper relationship with me, cus in the future it might stop our relationship going forward. i'm not gonna lie. it probably will cause problems but that doesnt matter. i make my own choices at the end of the day thats what counts. he's actually going a bit too fast. i just want a chance to spend more time with him and just bewith him. i dont know if hes the one. he's just not giving me a chance to realise it. thats what bugs me. its like he needs to know all the answers of whats going to happen. he's not a risk taker and hesitates to take the next step.

i've tried to explain that to him and seems to hear me but doesnt really say anything. (think thats a virgo thing.. taking it in and analysing it) he'll say something later on i guess.

Wassup you guys... with all these pressure on a Scorp? it doesn't work... it just getting better by activating its willpower...

OK Talia, you won't give up without a good fight don't cha? Alright, if he ain't telling a thing then you need to know exactly how he thinks... Remember i told you he could be Capri Moon too... these Lunar goats are reserved when it comes to emotions... security is the word... i will not comment further until you figure out his Moon..

Meanwhile, keep your options open... and your mind clear... i see you're all over him and what you're feeling now can't be taken seriously... cool it down a little...

what it takes for you to back off? if you can answer this, you're clear with what you're doing...

hades

Of course ... the Scorpio gets something on their mind and any/all reason or sensibility is vacant .. she will pursue this man, and make any kind of attempts to snare, manipulate, entrap him .. even to her own detriment.

That's the Scorpion way.


I remember Fums in here a couple years ago ... the fucking horse was so dead, that it stunk all the way over here ... but, still she could only acknowledge herself and her own desires.

I wonder if Scorpio women ever think about that fault they have in terms of how terrible of a partner it actually makes them? Because if a person can only acknowledge their own desires and blocks others out .. then that quality is one that can be tossed aside.


*** light goes off at why Scorpio woman are always alone ***

You mean my post above you?

It's just frustrating LS, very frustrating .... it's like a derailed train that just keeps steaming down, now it's bowling over the houses beside the tracks.



this Scorpio woman set the terms to this relationship 7 months ago when she gave him the impression that she was a cool friend to whom he could use to dump his emotional garbage on ... and when she decided to tell him this isn't how she felt, he cowered away from her not allowing it to be so, and she allowed this ignorance of her feelings .. only to later try to manipulate him through the worst energy out there = jealousy.

That is such a horrible energy that it makes people murder .... and she is so far gone with this obssession that she would create this force on purpose?

Pandora, that was bloody brilliant. *standing up and applauding*

vb rides peoples nutsacks ... rarely has anything of her own to say

Of she will now to me in retaliation .. but, it was prompted out of her .. there's nothing in her to offer it of her own accord .. her inclinations will be to praise someone else, without anything being offered about the topic.


So superficial that there's likely no depth at all, except forced when encroached.

Hats off Pandora, I agree 100% . I was guiltrapped by scorps one too many times and not once I liked it, or making me more understanding of their nature. I could see why they do it, but I don't understand why they do it to ME, someone they allegedly say they like/love/interested in/whatsoever. Virgos appreciate honesty, they can appreciate brutal honesty/ crazy facts better than a lie. If you like someone you gotta reach for it and trust that they will keep your heart apiece.

You bore me P.

Posted by ellessque
can you REALLY appreciate brutal honesty?

I think people say that and then when we give it to them they feel terrible and start retreating. When you retreat, we retreat.

The thing is, I can GIVE you brutal honesty and don't even CARE that your feelings are hurt. Can you handle that?

I solely expect you to give it back to me. But you don't....then the games begin.

Well it works for me. I stayed with my scorp exes longer than I could bear because I wanted it to work out. But they're always too insecure to bear their all, even when they say they do. They keep a bit to themselves as a safety net and no matter how far or long or wide or deep I tried to go for them, even if the FEEL they're giving their all, they're always looking at the worst of things - as if I was trying to hurt them or something. It's their world and perhaps I've never met a mature scorps to be in any kind of relationship with, anyho, it's draining at some point. To get them to be honest with what they want takes longer than my nails to grow out of my extensions. With virgo it's all or nothing. You gotta really be honest otherwise they'd feel you lie. Virgos don't really stand excuses or reasons when it's about dishonesty. You've gotta give your all and fall and really fall to be able to be desperate and deserving of something, or at least try to let yourself go for the other person - I bet that's a virgo principal because it's puristic. Scorps have different attitude about it, as far as I observe. Anyways it's purely my opinion love, nothing personal.

Posted by ellessque
If you are "guiltrapped"....that is your issue. not the scorpios. we don't "make" you feel anything...you take it upon youreslf to feel it. that is a choice.

If others could accept that, they would understand us a hell of a lot better.

Well if you lie to someone to get them jealous, in my book that's called guiltrapping. Because I would feel guilty at the end for making h?_m/her went through all of that. Even worse if I actually felt jealous, that'd be lying. I understand 'why' they do that, but I'd be confused at the end, why would they do that to me? Why can't they just tell me what they're feeling? Geddit?

Posted by PandorasBox
Lol P. What makes you any different or better?

So what would be the difference between your despitefullness & attacks on some pples threads and and someone elses encouraging praise towards others? Get real. Maybe if you'd say something helpful without any type of bitter retort every once in a while someone would agree with you.

The difference is that I speak for myself, instead riding someone elses nutsack .. however, I fully comprehend that your comment to me stemmed from a need to protect the person who just gave you a compliment, and you would likely have said nothing to me otherwise.


get real, or stfu is my motto .. you might try it on

Posted by ellessque

You ask for 100% acceptance of who you are and we give it to you without question. It is VERY easy for us to accept the good the bad and the ugly in a human being without judgement.

However, when the time comes to reciprocate that you fuck it up.

We are not insecure about ourselves. We are insecure about YOU. YOU cannot handle having someone completely accepting of you and you become afraid. When you become afraid you strike out with words or actions that make us re-evaluate your motives.

...and once again, the games begin.

We will TELL you all along what to expect from us and our expectations of you. You just blow past it and make your own conclusions.

You considering something else here .... you created this in the other person is what you are missing.

Weren't we just talking the other day about how the Scorpio doesn't need to be loved back? They don't need to hear the words? They don't need to have the feeling reciprocated?

What they need is to feel this for themselves .. only then can they tell another person that they love them.

That is one-way, that is self-absorbed, and that is what the Scorpio just projected to the partner as being acceptable ..... so, how can the Scorp then turn around and justify saying that the other person cannot handle the giving of themselves completely, if this giving is only for yourself?

You would say ... "We are not insecure about ourselves. We are insecure about YOU." .. well of course you are insecure about the other person, and if they are able to accept you .. because you make the decision of the acceptance and expression of how the relationship is to be felt based solely upon yourself.

Posted by talia

i'm a scoprio and been seening this virgo for about 7 months. i have posted on on here a few times before. we're more than friends although he doesnt like to say it. he seems to chat alot about other chicks and seems to think its doesnt bother me which it does. he clearly knows how i feel cus i've told him a few times. either i've killed the chase for him by telling him how i feel i dont know but he seems to chat to me like one of his guys mates, which i dont mind but it gets to me cus i see him more than an mate. he said he trusts me implicitly and wants me to feel like i can chat to him about anything and i always do that. about 2 weeks ago i told him that i was falling for him. i didnt chat to him for about a week or so. things are sort of back to normal we chat every day. we havent really discussed about what i said. but about a month ago we did chat about 'us' and he said to me that he's scared about commitment or hurting me. we left it at that and nothing else was said.

LS, you talk about games and who started them, and who will finish them .. what games are you talking about?

What I see is what I just mentioned, what we've talked about before ... the Scorpio has made the decision about how she feels, and she tells herself that it doesn't matter how the other feels about this relationship because once she realizes her feelings, then his doesn't matter and she will therefore continue to live the love she has.

When it does fucking matter to her .... she lies to herself when she says that it's ok.

If you are going to lay at someones feet .. they will walk on you, and that isn't a game of the walker, that is a self deception of the person who says how she feels is all that matters.

virgos and scorpios are said to be an ideal match.

Him talking about your weight doesn't sound like a virgo trait. Especially if we like someone. We can be tactful to the one that we are interested in. Now if you f#@k us over, all hell will break loose. The victim is no longer safe. I will say this: Let's say that I am getting to know a guy and all is well. I don't really want to talk about where things are going. I just let it happen. Sooner or later it will become apparent. But if a guy asks me to be his girlfriend or starts to ask questions about "what we are" then I get nervous. My life flashes before my eyes. I feel that way because I don't want to have to give an answer when I know that I am not sure yet. From what I see, it seems like your guy could be making up the amount of women that he fancies. He is trying to make his life seem more exciting. As a virgo woman I would not want to tell a guy that I am interested in that I fancy other men. I want him to know that he is the object of my affection. It just doesn't make sense what your guy is trying to do. If he is all over you when he sees you then that must mean that he is sexually attracted to you no matter what he says about your weight.

Virgo get Jealous in the highest level, you might lose him as the result....that If; he has strong feelings towards you...

Posted by TyDyed

... after all, there should be some benefits to growing older!

DY in his 20's: Why is this salad fork in the tray slot for the dinner fork?

DY in his 50's: No clean forks? No problem. :: Wipes fork from morning with napkin, and reuses. ::

LOL! I second that motion. (But why bother with a napkin?) 😛