My LDR Virgo Boyfriend Needs Space

I am a pisces woman. 😄 We used to live in the same city, but he has a new job, an ER doctor with 36/48 hr shift, in another city currently for a year till April 2015. We've been together for 11 months and known each other for almost 2 years (LDR for 7months).

His priority last couple months is only his job and doctor friends when I need him the most. It is because I've been struggling with my career changing and application for grad school. With his lack of communication, I've been so emotional for these 3 months. I complaint a lot as I don't receive enough attention and pressure him to the point that he said —I am going through mental breakdown. If you don't give me some space, I will leave forever.?? (This is the person who constantly tells me that we are soulmate for every months until around July 2014.) He mentioned that he is unsure about having me as a girlfriend as he said he is too young to take care of me and he doesn't want his limitation of his work to hurt me. Also, he said he is now very confused about everything. I asked him whether he still in love with me or not; he said his feeling towards me is less and his motivation to treat me as a lover has been decreased. I tried to persuade him all the thing he used to tell me that it is only 6 months away then we will be together again. I said I will give him alone time. He agreed with it. After that we exchanged some light conversation towards the end of the call. ((He used to ask for some space previously though but it is not serious like this time. Last time that we dealt with is 3 months ago, he asked me to call him less frequently but I can do it for a week and then become demanding girlfriend on the following week. The pattern had been repeated till this time! I know I am too emotional but I love him too much till I can't resist not talking to him))

Surprisingly, next morning I received his text and we sent it back and forth for another 5 days. He pointed it out in the text that I made a very good progress of giving him space. He said "My girl is being nice and very cute", "You're doing great! Very good Progress". He then called me 2 days later after the last text. He called me again on Nov 6 which is 3 days later (There is no text in between these 2 calls.). I wrote him a letter last week so that I would feel like we are on the same page. The summary of my letter; he could take time off as long as he wants and I will be thinking about our good memories until he can make u

Surprisingly, next morning I received his text and we sent it back and forth for another 5 days. He pointed it out in the text that I made a very good progress of giving him space. He said "My girl is being nice and very cute", "You're doing great! Very good Progress". He then called me 2 days later after the last text. He called me again on Nov 6 which is 3 days later (There is no text in between these 2 calls.). I wrote him a letter last week so that I would feel like we are on the same page. The summary of my letter; he could take time off as long as he wants and I will be thinking about our good memories until he can make up his mind. He already received it last friday Nov 14 and he said he likes the msg I wrote and he will think about it.

I really hope he only needs space not a break up since this is the first time that we barely talk to each other. I feel like he is getting more distant. I don't know whether I should move on or wait for him. I am doing NC for 4 days now.

Please give me some advice! Thanks 🙂)

He is a doctor that has crazy shift hours he definitely needs space his career is high in demand. If you expect him to put his career before you during this time then darling you going to have a nervous breakdown.

You are too dependent on his affection go do what makes you happy go get your life in order of it is meant to be you will still be with him if not then it's on the next.

^ LOL they do love sex.

Posted by CluelessCancer
oh and virgos can change from loving to cold within a blink of an eye. i've witnessed this personality trait for a while now....when he's needy he'll come to you...when you're needy he'll ignore you.

haha yeaaa totally! I've experienced his hot and cold since before we become official couple. At that time, I seriously don't mind about it because I have some weird traits too. My heart wasn't fully commit with him when we are together at first. I can ignore his text/call for couple days as I used to be a person who don't like using phone. Yes! with the needy thing you talked about. haha.... p.s. He's not so good in the bedroom too but I don't mind tho 😆

Things turn up side down when he has to move to another city. We used to promise to communicate with each other everyday. He wanted me to wait for him for a year till he comes back and he would love to engage me before we both go to grad school next year. This is our first serious relationship as well. I basically hold on this false hope currently. 😢

CC needs professional help, if I were you, I wouldnt listen to her.

You don't seem to really care that much about this man.

You go from "I love him too much" to "I should move on".

For a Virgo to say:

Posted by criulob9pri
—I am going through mental breakdown. If you don't give me some space, I will leave forever.??

..it takes a lot. So I don't think you being emotional is the problem. Maybe you turned unbearingly needy or caused drama.

Posted by Damnata
You don't seem to really care that much about this man.

You go from "I love him too much" to "I should move on".

For a Virgo to say:

Posted by criulob9pri
—I am going through mental breakdown. If you don't give me some space, I will leave forever.??

..it takes a lot. So I don't think you being emotional is the problem. Maybe you turned unbearingly needy or caused drama.

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Actually, my mind doesn't move on at all but I like to say some positive thing that I should do otherwise I would crash into pieces!!!
I just want to know how many day that Virgo man usually retreat, so I can know where I stand in the relationship.
It is because I am still crying everyday and I want to stop crying... (And YES lately I am being needy but I am sure I am not a drama girl!)

Posted by criulob9pri

It is because I am still crying everyday and I want to stop crying...

If you are crying to him everyday because of your insecurities ... then yes, you will lose him completely.

To keep a Virgo, you must be able to control yourself.

What was your life like before you met the Virgo guy? What were your passions/hobbies? What was your focus?

How about spending time to other stuff in your life? It can help you put things in perspective and re-gain some emotional control.

Posted by P-Angel

Posted by criulob9pri

It is because I am still crying everyday and I want to stop crying...

If you are crying to him everyday because of your insecurities ... then yes, you will lose him completely.

To keep a Virgo, you must be able to control yourself.

click to expand

Since my LDR boyfriend's not talked to me for 4 days and being distant lately, he may not know that I am cry every day
as the only way he can see me is only on Facebook which I always upload only happy pictures.
(100% no negative/being emotional posts)

I know it's because of my insecurity 😢 and I know nobody wants to be with a partner who cries every freaking day.
I will try my best to stop crying and put a smile on my face real soon.

Posted by BoomShakalakaBoom
What was your life like before you met the Virgo guy? What were your passions/hobbies? What was your focus?

How about spending time to other stuff in your life? It can help you put things in perspective and re-gain some emotional control.

Hi BoomShakalakaBoom

Before I met him, I love doing several adventure sports; climbing, surfboard, etc. I had accident and it injured my legs last year too though,
so I didn't get a chance to do my own hobbies. He was there for me during that time which I really appreciate.

I am a junior architect and doing my grad school application for Fall 2015 which will be finished soon. The hard part was exams as
English is not my 1st language and I asked him too much to help me in order to improve my score I guess. I took it few times till I satisfy with
the score (I asked him because he's a doctor and smarter than me and once told me he'd love to help me with it. I truly adore his intelligence.)

I surely will do things to improve myself and regain my emotional control. I will go see my friends again (I met them today too!)
after I've been rejected social and dedicated myself to only job and exam (TOEFL, GRE) for the past 6 months.

Posted by PEITHO
I never knew that lol.

Posted by Octoberbaby91
^ LOL they do love sex.

click to expand

They do indeed, you would be surprised. Innocent on the exterior, and not so innocent on the interior.

Posted by PEITHO
Do you mean casual sex?

Posted by PEITHO
I never knew that lol.

Posted by Octoberbaby91
^ LOL they do love sex.

click to expand

Depends on the Virgent, it could be both.

Posted by LadyOfRebirth
You probably just miss him immensely, and I can understand you craving his attention.

But place yourself in his shoes for a minute. He's elsewhere in a demanding profession.. I'm surprised he didn't decide to terminate the relationship to begin with. That says a lot imo and you shouldn't take that for granted. Rather than pushing for his attention, why don't you let him come to you? A relationship should be pleasant and stress free for both parties, but what you're doing now is adding more pressure to him with your expectations of his communication rather than relieve it.

Like P said, you'll need to be in control of your own emotions with a Virgo.

Thanks! you're absolutely right. He does this job because he wants a good resume, so when he'll apply to specialty next year it may increase a chance of being accepted. I will try to better understand him as I want it to be pleasant and stress free as well. He used to say something like this too but at that time I only think that I don't receive a good amount of attention. haha. I know now...I will let him come to me 😉

Lol how can you be in a LDR and need any more space?

Posted by P-Angel

Posted by criulob9pri

It is because I am still crying everyday and I want to stop crying...

If you are crying to him everyday because of your insecurities ... then yes, you will lose him completely.

To keep a Virgo, you must be able to control yourself.

click to expand

hi P how you doing?

Posted by PEITHO
Do you mean casual sex?

Posted by PEITHO
I never knew that lol.

Posted by Octoberbaby91
^ LOL they do love sex.

click to expand

they like both doesn't matter as long as it's sex they love it!

This is my Virgo Boyfriend chart.
Sun 09??16' Virgo
Moon 18??32' Taurus
Mercury 02??22' Libra
Venus 23??47' Cancer
Mars 11??14' Aries
Jupiter 05??20' Gemini
Saturn 25??52' Sagittarius
Uranus 27??03' Sagittarius
Neptune 07??30' Capricorn
Pluto 10??09' Scorpio

This is my chart.
Sun 20??47' Pisces
Moon 22??41' Virgo
Mercury 13??59' Pisces
Venus 05??55' Aquarius
Mars 29??59' Capricorn
Jupiter 01??13' Cancer
Saturn 22??57' Capricorn
Uranus 09??08' Capricorn
Neptune 14??14' Capricorn
Pluto 17??30' Scorpio

Is it compatible —? Please let me know ^.^

okkkk so he blocked me on Facebook today.... 😢((

Well, have you been even more needy lately?

It sounds like you need a different boyfriend. A Virgo doctor is never going to have the time or patience to deal w lengthy discussions regarding your emotions. And your Mercurys speak different languages.

It doesn't really matter that he is a Virgo ..... nearly ALL people will become disillusioned with a partner (of any kind) when the partner starts to become a burden.

Men, in general, cannot handle excessive emoting dumped onto them to carry, as if it's their burden.

Sounds like this poor guy isn't getting anything except weepy/clingy insecurities projected onto him from her. He's not looking for space .. he's looking for an absolute escape route.


And who can blame him, really? I feel sorry for men when they have to deal with emotionally weak bitches who can't carry their own bullshit.

Posted by BoomShakalakaBoom
Well, have you been even more needy lately?

Not at all! after I feel like he's getting distant last month, I pull back also but luckily I got a chance to have a real talked with him at the end of October via phone call as I stated in my first post.

The last time we talked is last week after he go my letter! I didn't text/call him at all after that day.

The reason why I come to this site is because I would like to know my chance of getting him back.
Do I have that chance? What would I do to make it happen?

p.s. I misunderstood about him blocking my Facebook. Actually he doesn't (I didn't check it carefully. haha)

@P-Angel

I know I was very weepy and clingy for couple months. My voice cracked almost every time I talked to him about my feeling which probably annoying him 😢 I know anyone wouldn't like it. HE DOES NOT LIKE IT and I know that! I was not able to shut down my emotional mode in a decent time that's why he's getting distant. At the same time, I try so hard to not being like that anymore but it crashed again when everything doesn't seem to get any better. However, I always tell myself to be strong which I will be again eventually.

The point is I would like to fix our relationship if possible. I come to this site for the solution as I couldn't seem to stop thinking about him.
Is there any hope? or Should I get over it? That's all 🙂

No one should be in a relationship where they feel like they have to TRY SO HARD to not be themselves. If you're very emotional, and it sounds like you are, you need to be able own it, be that, don't try to be something you're not. It will never work. Especially w a Virgo. They can spot disingenuous behavior and they do not like trying to force what doesn't work naturally.

It doesn't sound like he wants to be with you. You should go find someone who will gladly support you emotionally and not cut you off for being yourself.

I took him for granted I guess. As I previous mentioned, I used to be an independent woman during our early dates (he had to chase me a lot) before we become official bf-bf. I could spend my days without replying/answering to him. I used to not answer his call for 3 days without reason (Me Time). After we are bf-gf, we saw each other more often, 3-4days/week for 5 months. This period was very special. ^.^

The downhill happens when he left for another city. I couldn't adapt myself to his time as I still used to the time we're always spend time together. We visit each other only 1 time/month. He promised me many things that he couldn't do it when he's away. I, then, have to deal with my life crisis, probably the biggest situation I've ever encountered, so I reached him a lottttt. I still hold on his promises, he's my first BF-I am his first GF, so I get emotional very easily. Normally when I dated other guys, I would get boring by 3 months and completely cut off the communication with them. This guy is very special for me and I can feel it from my heart. I would say if it is normal me, I wouldn't be weepy and insecure like this :/ I am trying my best to become the woman he first met again, the independent and cheerful woman. And Yeaaaaa if it the worst scenario.. It's probably too late for me to make things better.

I didn't read the other posts other than the first from the OP.

OMG!! You were too damn clingy!!!

Do you not know the pressures of an ER doctor? Please!! Provide humor. Stress relief. Fun. Light heartedness. Optimism. Do you not know the trauma they see? The death? The chronic illness? He needs a LIFT from that, NOT a demanding girlfriend complaining he doesn't have time for her.

Posted by criulob9pri

Posted by P-Angel

Posted by criulob9pri

It is because I am still crying everyday and I want to stop crying...

If you are crying to him everyday because of your insecurities ... then yes, you will lose him completely.

To keep a Virgo, you must be able to control yourself.

Since my LDR boyfriend's not talked to me for 4 days and being distant lately, he may not know that I am cry every day
as the only way he can see me is only on Facebook which I always upload only happy pictures.
(100% no negative/being emotional posts)

I know it's because of my insecurity 😢 and I know nobody wants to be with a partner who cries every freaking day.
I will try my best to stop crying and put a smile on my face real soon.

click to expand

Right here. You can't handle being with a doctor. His schedule and responsibilities will ALWAYS override everything else in his life.
You're going to need to be a very independent person to survive a relationship with a doctor. You don't have what it takes.

Posted by criulob9pri
okkkk so he blocked me on Facebook today.... 😢((

It's over.