Need some insight on a virgo/cap relationship?

I am a 22yr old cap and my bf was a 22yr old virgo. We were together for 1yr and 4mos before our relationship came to an unexpected stop on Wednesday of this week. I've been analyzing and studying Virgos, Virgo and Capricorn relationships, and even myself since we've been together. I still have no real true answer as to why things happened or went the way they did. He pursued me through Twitter. I never knew nothing of him...never seen him in my life or heard of him..it was very random! So he approached me and at first seemed very "rehearsed", like everything he was telling me had been said to so many other girls. So, I continued to talk to him through Twitter for a few weeks to see what he was "truly" about. He eventually gave me his number because he said that I seemed really interesting and that he had never met anyone like me before, and that if i was really interested I should call him. At that time i had broke my phone and was waiting on a new one, so I told him that i would have to keep in contact with him on Twitter. He said okay and that was that. Everyday I would check my Twitter and i would have a few messages from him saying things like, I hope you're having a great day future boo/wife, I miss you. It was just really strange and weird to me, a bit of a turn-off too. So When I got my phone I contacted him and he wanted me to come over to see him that night. I told him that I was sick and I didn't want him catching my cold. He acted like he was sad and was like I really wish you could come, I'm bored and lonely. So I decided to come later that night because i was bored as well and didn't have anything to do. Why not? So I get there, we easily connect and just talk all night. We did kiss as well. So after that everyday I would get a message from him and we would talk all day everyday about whatever. (I had to give yall the intro so you could have as much information as possible lol🙂 Back to the story. (Don't get bored) He asked me to be his girl after a month or so and that was that. Our relationship was very steady, but we had our moments as well. He had alot of "girl" friends, that I didn't know about. It was as if things were just popping up all of a sudden. There would be times I would ask him if he wanted to chill and he would kind of put it off or he would have excuses and say that he was chilling with his homeboys. I just basically became second to everything else. So time flies by and I start finding out more things about him and girls he

talk to. He was talking to girls on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, and everywhere else. There were many times I tried to leave him, but he would make me feel guilty by crying , begging, and pleading for me to stay, so my dumb ass stayed every time! lol anyway it got to the point where I did not trust him at all. He hardly communicated anything with me,as far as felings go, but we would hang out a lot and talk everyday all day. We would always plan to get married one day. He always told me that I was going to be the one he married. He would tell me that he adored me, he loved me, and that he wanted no one else. This was very consistent throughout the relationship. Towards the end of the relationship his car had caught on fire and my car was having issues and needed to be fixed, so neither one of us had a car to see each other. Things got real difficult and we only had communication. He would try his best to come see me and spend time with me with his mom's car, he stayed with his parents. We tried to make it work, but it just seemed like it would get harder and harder, as far as him communicating his feelings goes. It always seemed like he was hiding something, and that ate at me all the time. I was always confused or lost because I never knew what was going on with him.

To make a long story short, because I'm not trying to write a novel....my damn hands hurt! On Wednesday, he was at work and we were texting throughout the day, everything was good! Then around 2 something he stopped texting me, which I just though it was due to him not being able to get to his phone. (I forget, see that's why I hate typing stories, last weekend he dropped his phone in the tub, so he had no phone to call/text me on but he had a tablet he used to keep in contact with me) NOW, BACK TO THE STORY! So we were texting throughout the day on Wednesday until about 2pm when he randomly stopped texting. At around 3 he told me to text him on a 569 number. I asked whose number it was and he says it's a friend's. So, I asked who the friend was and I get no response. I ask again and I still get no response. So I texted the 569 number and I ask the same question and I get no response, then a few mins later someone texts me(supposedly him) and says I told you a friend. wyd? So I ask again the same question and still get no response, I then call and no one answers. (Keep up with the time, because it plays an important role in this and I don't want you to miss the good part!) FOCUS! It's about 3:50 and I get a phone call from the 569 number and it's a female voice(SHOCKED) I ask where my bf was and she tells me that she is not his keeper and she guesses he is at work? (Strange, I know!) He works at a bank monday through friday from 8:30 to 6pm and his lunch breaks are around 1pm( Keep all this in mind) So I tell the girl that she doesn"t have to get a damn attitude and be smart I just asked a question and I hung up in her face. So, after the phone call I go to his job. It wasn't too far from where I already was. I pull up in the parking lot, see's his dad's car( which he was driving), park, and I take my ass in to the bank. I go right up to his little window and tell him that I need to speak with him, he tells me that he's at work and he can't. I say okay, well can you explain to me who this friend is that you were talking about? And he calmly, with a dead straight face tells me that he has no idea what I'm talking about....that must've set me to hell lol...I said so you're just gonna sit here and lie to my face? And he was like I been texting you on my tablet, I have no idea what you're talking about and I don't know who texted you. So I'm just like really? I couldn't believe ehat was happening at that moment, so I just said okay and I walked out of the bank

(Oh, also while I was at the bank he kept asking me was I gonna break up with him, something he always asked me when I came to him with a problem or concern) So, I leave the bank and I decide to call the 569 number back, the female answers the phone and I ask her what her name was and who she was to my bf, and she said that they were in a relationship and had been for a year. I asked her did they hang out often and she said that she stayed around the corner from him and that he would come over her house and spend the night with her. She also said that he had made a car payment for her and that she had given him things, like a bracelet, some glasses...etc. She also said that they were planning to move in together and that they were going to get married. (Go figure and long behold!) So after I talked to her, I fund out that not only was he messing with her, but he was messing with another girl and that they had both been up to his job that day. I didn't talk to him none for the rest of that day, but I did the next day. He texted me while he was at work the next morning and asked me were we done? I told him that I never said that I'm just trying to figure out what is going on. He still stuck with his story that he didn't know what was going on and that yesterday was a bad day for him. He was wanting opinions from others and people were lying on him. He said that yesterday had changed him and that he was gonna focus on himself. I was like so do I get an apology or an I'm sorry and he said that I did and he was sorry I had to go through that. So I then asked him about the female that I had spoke with and told him what she said and he kind of brushed it off and told me that I could believe what I wanted to believe, but he knew what he did and he did not give a damn about anyone else or what they had to say. So I asked him who texted me on the tablet and on the 569 number and he said that his mama had came to get his tablet, so he did not know. It just all sounded like ring around the rosie to me, and I just told him that I wanted to call it quits because I wasn't getting any answere from him, no reassurance, no denial, nothing. He just laughed when I said that and asked for everything he ever gave me and also any money he loaned me. I told him that I wasn't delivering anything to him and that if he wanted his things he could come get them, or they were simply going in the trash. I also told him to get the money from the girl he was making car payments for back

because I wasn't giving him a damn thing back. He just called me worthless and said that he would take me to court for his money, I said go ahead, let the courts begin! Go ahead and look like a dumbass...so he then called me broke and told me to keep my money, I just laughed and told him tht he was the one asking me for money back, but I'm broke? lol So he tried to break me down by telling that I wasn't wanted by him because I tried to mold his heart into my ideas, which was random, but must've been something he had been feeling all along. I told him that I did not agree, I was just trying to be the best girlfriend I knew how to be. I then told him that I did not respect him for treating people so cruel and wasting everyone's time. We kind of went back and forth like Aaliyah, and eventually he told me that he loved me, he truly did, and that we weren't meant he guessed, and told me to have a nice life! I asked him why he felt that way I didn't get a response, so I told him that I couldn't believe he hurt me after he promised he wouldn't again and he said that that He didn't cheat on me and he did not lie to me, and that if he gave anyone anything or did anything I would know. I just told him that it was probably best we part ways and that he was probably right, we weren't meant for each other. I wished him well and told him that I would always love him and care about him ( I mean I do) But I had to let him go....it's a wrap. I haven't talked to him since!

Sorry for the LONG story, I tried to make it as short and detailed as I could! I would love any insight as to was the relationship ever REAL, or was it bullshit the whole time? Did he REALLY love me? I mean, anything would help. I am just trying to understand all of this, as well as my feelings. They're very all of the place. I just want some sort of closure so that I can move on with my life. There are alot of unanswered questions and I would love other opinions, advice, whatever! Thank you!!!!!!!!! Also I will answer questions as well🙂

Girly, I appreciate you including every little detail, but dont be disappointed if you dont get too many replies because of the length.

Anyway, I read it all, and all I can say is it appears you lost him along the way. Im no Virgo, im a Cappie like you, but I think when he said that you were trying to mold his heart, it is something he mustve felt because its a complaint of many when dealing with Cap women.

Idk, when he got to the part of asking for things back I was smh, but it does seem like love was there, atleast at some point since he.closed it saying it again.

I personally think the other girl was staged, and that was planned since he didnt know how to breakup with you.

Seems like an unfortunate situation that probably wouldve had better potential had the two of you been friends first. I think maybe then he wouldve understood who you are better and vice versa. I think resentment builds when the Cappie intentions are read wrong.

Hopefully atleast one Virgo will chime in. Wish you luck in moving forward.

This guyis a jerk. Seriously...and I am so sorry for what you went through babes. Trying to mould him?? I'm sorry, but in a relationship, if you have a problem, you tell your gf about it...he's just not something you can even call a relationship...

the whole 'I love you'thing but we can't be together is an attempt to leave an open door for future prospects just in case he wants to come back...and all these girls popping up everywhere...it's just too much for a cap because you two never really got to know each other and build a proper foundation of trust...

You sound like you need a man...not this excuse of a man.lol okay that's mean, but still. Even the way he approached you just says alot!

Thank you ladies so much for reading my post! I probably won't get a lot of responses but whatever, I only want the real ones anyway lol! And if you took the time to read it, you really care🙂 I honestly think that there was love present, but he didn't know how to accept it. He let a lot of other people in his life to voice their opinions on him...our relationship...me? He never really had a mind of his own, atleast that's how it seemed to me. He could never make decisions and he always asked me what I thought of something or what I thought of him constantly. He was just very insecure, but I was always the one lifting his spirits up and encouraging him. I was always "there"...physically...mentally...emotionally...I tried my best. I really cared about him and his wellbeing, and I hope one day he realizes that. But he's just a lost soul who wants so badly to be perfect and wants everything to be perfect.

I checked his instagram today just to see where his head was after all of this, and he put a picture up of a song and underneath it he said that he was down and out, and that he didn't know how to move on, or where he went wrong. So, I don't believe the breakup was intentional. He just kind of got caught up in everything and lost everything all at once, his life came crashing down.

Thank you again ladies! I am focusing on bettering myself as a woman and moving on with my life...something like EAT, PRAY, LOVE. When I think of him or miss him, I'll send him love and light, and just...let go.

I've known several Virgos and honestly...they tend to be huge flirts and hoes. They can't help themselves. My best friend is one and he cheated on his wife before they got married. He's calmed down a lot but still flirts. The funny thing is his wife's a Virgo. Our other friend, a Virgo, has cheated on his wife several times and she's a Virgo as well. It's like they're so skeptical of marriages and relationships that they either cant settle down or just can't pass up a woman. Idk, but your story sounds very familiar.

Coming from a virgo guy. He is not playing by virgo rules. First thing your so busy telling us your modes of communication that it really doesn't matter. Twitter, texting, tablets, whatever. It's the face to face communication that matters. Your generation will have to learn the hard way.

Caps and Virgos go together like peas and carrots supposedly. And you dude doesn't sound like a virgo. Did you ever see any real identification with his birthdate on it. And second, we are known for analyzing our relationships to death but my experience is either the one that just ended or the one we are in.

Real virgos become very committed. This guy had a Harem. You have to deal with your low self esteem issues to continue with this guy.

Now Caps can try and mold their mates into a roll they want and that can have disastrous consequences for all involved so be careful.

I think you spent way to much time playing at love then reading the signs this was bad from the beginning.

Thank you men for your insight! I found both responses to be very interested, coming from a virgo. I did check his identification lol, his birthday is September 16th. I can admit that I do have high expectations for people, but I also can adapt and help people to grow. It's just my nature to want to help. I think he just took me wanting to help him and encourage him and be there for him a totally different way. I never tried to change him, nor did I want to. I already loved who he was when I met him, which was why I fell head over heels for him. He would be the one to ask my opinion on things or of him, constantly. I also would tell him about things that I read or learned of that could maybe help our relationship, and he would actually tell me that it was good stuff and that we should try to apply those things to our relationship. But, he also had alot of outside influences in his ear as well, he was getting opinions from ex girlfriends, friends, girl friends, strangers...whoever! And it was like he chose all that over me. So idk....I just tried to do what was right and what I knew how to do at the time. I'm not perfect, I have flaws, and yes I am very critical of myself and can be hard on myself, but I don't have low self esteem to where I need to stay with him and deal with it. He just needs to stop living in this "perfect" world and come down to earth...to reality.

And I was just trying to give enough detail and not be so vague. It probably doesn't matter about the communication but it's apart of the story. I know face to face communication is important, that's why I tried to hard to have that with him. I would've talked face to face to him any day, and he's also told me that he's a more face to face communicator, but anyway...I'm just trying to tell the story the way it happened!🙂

I am always suspicious of people who "want their stuff back" after a relationship ends. It basically means, to me, that he was never genuine about giving me those things, and if he wasn't genuine about that, what else could he possibly have been genuine with?

Sounds like an immature relationship. Both of you need some growing up and I don't think you'll find that in each other.

Yes I was very suspicious of him wanting his things back, I obviously knew that it wasn't genuine and that I honestly don't know why he gave them to me in the first place if he was just going to want them back? I agree, I do have growing up to do and he's definitely not the one to help me with that. I was actually fine and came into the relationship with my head held high...and I knew what I wanted and I knew who I was, but somehow he broke me down into this person that I never was. I need to work on my self basically, and I am. I'm over him, I mean I still care and love him, but I have to move on. I always kind of thought I could save the relationship because in the back of my mind I felt it heading in the wrong direction, but I would never listen to my heart.

Let It Be, why do you say that? If you could explain more?

25th decan, I can admit that I am a very strong woman and am very independent, and I do expect alot from people, but I am also aware that everyone is different and so forth. I never wanted a loyal robot, and I don't want one now. It makes my skin crawl to even think of a man that's a "yes" man and just has no voice, no values, no morals...no nothing. I was very patient with him, as far as me just letting him express his emotions and his thoughts. I just wanted him to communicate with me and talk to me. And he got everything from me. I never ran him, and if I did he allowed me to, but I never did.

And the "perfect world" thing. I believe he expects alot from others, just like I do. He never felt like he owed me an explanation or anything of the sort, and he expected me to do things that he wouldn't do, or expected me to not do things he could do. It seemed as if it was all about him, and I was all for it...I gave him attention, I listened to him, I was there...I did this and that....but he seldomly did it for me, and at some point I just couldn't tolerate it anymore. Idk what you do, and your intentions but this is what HE did.

That's not what I meant, and it was never a mismatch to begin with. You only know what I've told you, but I only told partial of my story because I didn't want to write a novel. I know what I did, and I know what happened and why it happened. But I appreciate the response🙂

Amisunderstoodcap,

You don't need to write a novel to get your point across.

From the thesis you've written, I can easily tell you that the guy is a joke. He messed with you and other girls during the relationship. AND, he's still doing it because you're here questioning against your instincts.

Suck it up and move on. The man had no intention of devoting himself to just you. Get it?

25th,

I can say that I now understand why people on here are so harsh... Theer are just too many clueless idiots.

Posted by Nebulous_Cloud9
25th,

I can say that I now understand why people on here are so harsh... Theer are just too many clueless idiots.

Idk, theee most idiotic @ssbackwards thing imho is getting your panties in a bunch over a situation you are not directly involved in. I mean to start name-calling? When does it ever get THAT serious and why? Are you even a d@mn Virgo? wth? A Cappie may fall victim to trying to control what they are directly involved in, i get that whether right or wrong, but I for the life of me dont understand the controlling nature of people like you. Her situation shouldnt be that serious to you. You, have a pov that you make sure will not be ignored. Why though? And her posts were not required to read, so you have options, in case you are not aware.

OP, you and the other Cappie are always welcome on the Cap boards btw. Yall should roll thru.

Posted by lnana04

Posted by Nebulous_Cloud9
25th,

I can say that I now understand why people on here are so harsh... Theer are just too many clueless idiots.

Idk, theee most idiotic @ssbackwards thing imho is getting your panties in a bunch over a situation you are not directly involved in. I mean to start name-calling? When does it ever get THAT serious and why? Are you even a d@mn Virgo? wth? A Cappie may fall victim to trying to control what they are directly involved in, i get that whether right or wrong, but I for the life of me dont understand the controlling nature of people like you. Her situation shouldnt be that serious to you. You, have a pov that you make sure will not be ignored. Why though? And her posts were not required to read, so you have options, in case you are not aware.

OP, you and the other Cappie are always welcome on the Cap boards btw. Yall should roll thru.

click to expand

REALLY? Says the people who come into this site to talk terribly about other people, and I have no reason to say how idiotic they are?

C'mon... You are a moron.

And really, I know enough Cap people to know though I love them, they have a tendency to turn sh*t around like it's not their fault. They ALWAYS, ALWAYS play the victim card like they've got no clue what they've done wrong. It wouldn't even matter if you showed them why 1 +1 = 2 because if they don't believe it then it isn't true. And I can certainly tell you that Caps, out of all signs, are completely clueless to anything around them if it doesn't somehow directly benefit them, absolutely out of touch with reality and has a tendency to blame other elements other than themselves!

There are a lot of clueless idiots who come into the Virgo forum to say nasty things about them and somehow they're supposed to level with these idiots? Uhhh... Yeah, Ms. Justice, how about you take them over to the Cap board and have a great time playing twister.

P.S. I apologize for getting my panties in a bunch, I didn't know by doing so I'd get your panties in a bunch too!

Nebuluos, I missed the part where Virgos were talked bad about in this thread. Caps playing victim? Thats funny. I see "know it all" waaay before victim. You just read yourself in that entire post lol...thanks.

Decan, if demands are the biggest wedge between the two, then yes....mismatch. I dont deal with many Virgos, but my sis is one. SHE is not that critical, but Id imagine telling a Cap to stop being demanding/controlling is the same as telling a Virgo to stop being nitpicky/critical. Its just who they are.

My sis has broken me down over the years about my controlling ways and bossing her around. She'll snap and be like "look!" Im not doing this/that. Its made our relationshi better, but thats my sis.

A guy? Realtionship? Intimacy? Future? Him cutting up before communicating what the problem is? Thats all a different ballgame. Yeah, how can one not turn into a crazy controlling cookiemonster? Thats just too close to home not to get a tight grip on. The grip obviously slips, and you just gotta accept the consequences, but it'll never be just ONE persons fault.

In your situaton...cut and run. He isn't a good virgo(right now) and needs to grow up.

Mold a virgo? I don't mold my virgo..he is who he is. if I don't like something or vice versa, we tell each other. AND to be with a virgo, you had better be strong enough to stand up for yourself!

How am I harsh? I was doing nothing wrong but telling my story....that's the thing virgos are always thinking someone is against them or after them or whatever...this is my story about my virgo...and this is what I've analyzed and observed about him...I'm not obsessive, controlling, or manipulative....I just WANT TO KNOW....and the fact that he could just never talk to me made everything so hard....that's all he had to do! But it's a wrap....I won't beg him or make him...I wanted to help him because I did feel bad, but he wasn't ready for that....he'll eventually get tired and want to seek help....maybe...hopefully

Capbaby, see he wasn't like that! He was very insecure with him, and he always felt he needed my approval...even when I would constantly tell him that it wasn't that serious, I didn't want him to lose himself in me...I tried so hard to get him to just be him and do him, but he wouldn't...he couldn't...he lost himself in me and that was a huge turnoff...he just wasn't confident enough and you can tell....he needs someone around him at all times....it's very sad...I feel for him but what can you do. He just has no clue as to who he is, and I wanted to be the one to help him....but....not if he ignores me and doesn't talk to me....and lies consistently....why? Smh...I wish him well....

himself*

amiss, how could you be with someone for that long that didnt have his own voice and mind? How could someone that was "lost in you" manage to find himself and cheat repeatedly? Dont play yourself here. I now see what Nebuluos mean in saying this wasnt real. You wrote the script, he played the role...or maybe he wrote the script AND played the role since he told other girls the same thing.

Good luck moving forward.

I wanted to help...that's why I stayed...I was more trying to be a friend if anything. I actually have a good heart, whether he did me wrong or not. He hasn't found himself...if you have to cheat and constantly get approval from others, you have not found who you are. I learned that a long time ago...it was always looking to others, as well as myself, for our opinions...to make decisions for him...and etc. He told me that he lost himself in me and had became my identity....those were his words...then he said he wanted to be friends for a whole until he gets himself together, then he wants me back again....again his words....but I didn't want that, I knew that was a joke...and I cared about him too much to want to be friends, and get put back in line like the rest of them...so I'm good ...but thank you for wishing me well!

You are welcome.

Its still a bit of a contradiction to be lost in you and make you his identity, yet cheat and seek approval in others at the same time. Its unhealthy, but If your identity is really in a significant other, I dont see where theres a want/need to stray. See what I mean by playing a role? You wanting to help probably ended up being your weakness that he played on for whatever reason.


Maybe this is why.

A lost person isnt the most attractive trait honestly, especially not to a mentally and emotionally strong/stable person. Not saying he or she is to be abandoned, but at what point do you step back and realize that maybe the two of you are not on the same page? Realize theres a way to help as a "friend" without wanting more than being friends from this person....who has no identity? This reads as a contradiction too on your behalf. You are pointing the fingers at his weak personality, but instead of you(ms. stable) pulling out and doing whats best for you, you want more from him, and HE is the one to pull out from it. What does this all say about you?

Like attracts like. Look at the situation for what it is, forget him, and find yourself so this never happens again.
.

I did change things for him....and I also compromised. I am stubborn, but not that stubborn when it comes to my relationship with someone