Playing or real??

So continuing from my previous post, this virgo guy and I have a thing for each other. We are classmates. He is a virgo sun with venus and mars both scorpio(i find this highly attractive for some reason). So the thing is, he wanted us to be in a relationship but I told him I can't since my career(have to apply for my Masters this coming fall) is my priority at this moment so I just can't give us 100% . However, I am attracted to him and love him dearly as my best friend. Basically for me he is my best bud for whom I feel some level of physical attraction(I find him irresistibly hot when he looks nerdy and i told him this xD). Now the thing is, everyone in class knows that he's the casanova type who loves being around women. I have seen him put his arms around other girls and be flirty with them. However, he overdoes it with me in comparison. Rather overdoes a lot more with me. Now, despite telling him that I can't be in a relationship right now he did try a lot to change my mind but I'm sure about my decision We are still best friends. He sits with this leo girl in class and is pretty comfy with her but he'll still come and sit next to me to talk to me between class breaks. My female bestie and he hate each other. He gets angry when she remains stuck with me and she gets mad when he tries to take me away. It's as if they play tug of war with me and if I'm that last piece of cake. He'll still pull my cheeks or softly caress them. He loves throwing his arms around me. He still flirts with me. I can tell he doesn't like to see me sad and will try to cheer me up. He will randomly start giving me shoulder or head massages. My bestie and I feel that he just wants some reason to touch me. He asks me to sit with him in the bus while going back home. He literally forces me to sit with him and not with my bestie. Day before, while returning back home in the bus, the sun was piercing my cheek through the window and I reacted to it. He immediately put his palm on top of my cheek so that my cheek doesn't get sun burnt. He kept his hand that way throughout the entire 30min journey. I kinda fell for him all over again at that moment. He keeps telling me that I am pretty but I need some grooming(i hardly focus on these things now).

Now, I really can't make out if what he feels for me is genuine or just fooling around. I am not in the mindset to be ready for a relationship right now but I would want to give this a try in future. Is there a way to know is he's being genuine? It's just this casanova image of his which disturbs me a lot. It bothers me if I see him fooling around with some other girl. I know we aren't in a relationship because of me and so I don't have the right to tell him anything but it upsets me(he knows).

Posted by WarAngel1
He's real, you're going to lose him.

Focus on school for sure, but you will lose him. He already does love you, he practically owns your body in a light way.

How do we really know if he genuinely likes me? I literally had one of my close female friends walk up to me,when she sensed some chemistry between us, and warn me that he's flirty with plenty around and that he only wants to be physical with me and nothing more. Basically she meant that he does not love me or anything but only wants to be physical with me. Also, when i told him that I am not ready for a relationship right now, he said "okay but atleast let's keep the hand holding and kissing alive". He also said "what if we keep it just one sided? As in feelings only from my side, i do whatever i want,hold your hand and kiss you without expecting you to reciprocate back?". It scared me when he said all this.

Isn't there a way for me to find out if there's actually anything deep here or it's just lust?

Posted by WarAngel1

Posted by gia

Posted by WarAngel1
He's real, you're going to lose him.

Focus on school for sure, but you will lose him. He already does love you, he practically owns your body in a light way.

How do we really know if he genuinely likes me? I literally had one of my close female friends walk up to me,when she sensed some chemistry between us, and warn me that he's flirty with plenty around and that he only wants to be physical with me and nothing more. Basically she meant that he does not love me or anything but only wants to be physical with me. Also, when i told him that I am not ready for a relationship right now, he said "okay but atleast let's keep the hand holding and kissing alive". He also said "what if we keep it just one sided? As in feelings only from my side, i do whatever i want,hold your hand and kiss you without expecting you to reciprocate back?". It scared me when he said all this.

Isn't there a way for me to find out if there's actually anything deep here or it's just lust?

Just ask him, he will tell you the truth. Anything short of that keep him at arm's length.

click to expand

I did ask him actually. He keeps saying he really likes me a lot and likes being with me.He said it doesn't bother him when i sit away from him but he cant resist himself when he sits next to me. The main problem is that I am finding it really tough to believe him and take him seriously. Mainly because of two reasons:

1) this player image of himself which he has created in college

2) he never says anything like he really means it. He says it, looks at my face and then laughs. He says everything as if he's saying it out of fun.

Also,he once said that he loves making up things and talking to people about it just to get their opinion about a particular topic and know their views and thinking. So it makes me feel as if half of the things he says is just to trick me to know my views. For example, one day he said "I love you". It was way too soon (day 3 after we confessed we like each other) and so I freaked out because I wasn't ready to commit yet and he was taking things Usain Bolt fast. So i obviously freaked out and told him that I am not ready and what he's feeling is just an amalgamation of lust,infatuation and extreme liking and that "love" is too deep and takes time to build. I told him I wanted to take this slow. We then got into a heated argument/debate and when I was almost on the verge of crying he laughed and said "relax, forget whatever i said above.I just wanted to know your thoughts and opinions so i made it up".

How on earth can i take anything he says seriously? That's why I am highly unsure of his words and actions as to if there is any genuineness or not.

Posted by gia
So continuing from my previous post, this virgo guy and I have a thing for each other. We are classmates. He is a virgo sun with venus and mars both scorpio(i find this highly attractive for some reason). So the thing is, he wanted us to be in a relationship but I told him I can't since my career(have to apply for my Masters this coming fall) is my priority at this moment so I just can't give us 100% . However, I am attracted to him and love him dearly as my best friend. Basically for me he is my best bud for whom I feel some level of physical attraction(I find him irresistibly hot when he looks nerdy and i told him this xD). Now the thing is, everyone in class knows that he's the casanova type who loves being around women. I have seen him put his arms around other girls and be flirty with them. However, he overdoes it with me in comparison. Rather overdoes a lot more with me. Now, despite telling him that I can't be in a relationship right now he did try a lot to change my mind but I'm sure about my decision We are still best friends. He sits with this leo girl in class and is pretty comfy with her but he'll still come and sit next to me to talk to me between class breaks. My female bestie and he hate each other. He gets angry when she remains stuck with me and she gets mad when he tries to take me away. It's as if they play tug of war with me and if I'm that last piece of cake. He'll still pull my cheeks or softly caress them. He loves throwing his arms around me. He still flirts with me. I can tell he doesn't like to see me sad and will try to cheer me up. He will randomly start giving me shoulder or head massages. My bestie and I feel that he just wants some reason to touch me. He asks me to sit with him in the bus while going back home. He literally forces me to sit with him and not with my bestie. Day before, while returning back home in the bus, the sun was piercing my cheek through the window and I reacted to it. He immediately put his palm on top of my cheek so that my cheek doesn't get sun burnt. He kept his hand that way throughout the entire 30min journey. I kinda fell for him all over again at that moment. He keeps telling me that I am pretty but I need some grooming(i hardly focus on these things now).

Now, I really can't make out if what he feels for me is genuine or just fooling around. I am not in the mindset to be ready for a relationship right now but I would want to give this a try in future. Is there a way to know is he's being genuine? It's just this casanova image of his which disturbs me a lot. It bothers me if I see him fooling around with some other girl. I know we aren't in a relationship because of me and so I don't have the right to tell him anything but it upsets me(he knows).

No casnanove...

Pisces experiences watery virgo.

He asked me out for a date for the 3rd time and I finally said yes. We're going for our 1st date tomorrow after college. Hopefully it goes well. I am excited. He keeps complaining that I am too coward and shy to show physical affection in public. He holds my waist,tickles my skin with his beard, caresses my face and hair ..all in public with people around. I feel scared with the thought of what if some professor spots us and our classmates see. People talk. Personally, I hate PDA. I am a highly highly highly private person who loves and enjoys initmacy only when I know no ones watching me. He saw a couple passionately kissing and sorta making out in front of us while having lunch today and he kept taunting me how lucky that guy is.

I second war angel. He likes you. His wishy washyness is probably a defense mechanism for himself. The fact that he tells you that is most likely an unconcious/ possibly concious way of him letting you know his mind, so you can navigate it more easily and decipher what he's trying to indicate to you. It sounds like he's been straight with you a few tims, but didn't get a reaction similar to what he's looking for, so he acts like it's a joke, doesn't care, laughs, etc. Yea though. I mean if you feel like getting committed wouldn't be good for you at this time in your life, don't do it. You'll most likely lose him.

Posted by gia
So the thing is, he wanted us to be in a relationship but I told him I can't since my career(have to apply for my Masters this coming fall) is my priority at this moment so I just can't give us 100% .

I never understand this excuse. What do you think happens once you get married and have kids? What do you think happens when your no longer a student and have clients and bosses to make happy... You think you'll have time for a relationship when your up all night looking after a sick kid and you have deadlines at work to fulfill. Sorry but life just continues to get more busy and stressful.

Right now, this moment while your in school, is probably the most relaxed your life will be. You won't get another breather until retirement.

Lmao, this is your second post on this Gia. I think you mask the topic by asking for some insight on a virgo, but we arn't going to be able to give you a definite. It's an experience that you're going to have to decide on yourself. If this is a vote, I'm with Ladyneptune and Sierra. Don't regret not giving this man a chance. A part of me feels like you want one of us to just get on your ass and tell you to return more affection and open up... Lol, just do it!!! 🙂 could be a lifelong partner, or a goodrun relationship, or a short flame. Either way, you're going to have some new experiences and learn more about yourself. I also agree with ladyneptune about the workload deal. Life is just going to get more jam packed... Maybe this guy could be a relief for you, offer a breather here and there or help you relax while you do the same for him.

Whoaa...I wasnt expecting so many comments. Thank you so much for your input guys *hugs*

We did go on a date yesterday and it was good. He took me to this restaurant which has very very dim lights.There was absolutely no one there then since it was a weekday. He gave a peck on my lips and then when the staff dispersed he caught my face and started passionately kissing me. I am not at all comfortable with intimacy in public but he just doesnt care about that. However,i still gave in for a few seconds yesterday.

I agree I am being overly cautious but that's because I am not quite emotionally and mentally ready for a relationship right now. However, I did decide to give this a chance and so we did go out. Our problem is that he takes things too fast on the physical aspect(Maybe because his Venus and Mars are both Scorpio) and so it makes me feel as if it's just lust from his side whereas I want to take this slow.

I decided to give this a try. Hopefully it doesn't get bad X_X

So so so... Things have been alright so far. We made out yesterday for the first time when there was no one and it turned out to be highly passionate and kinda animalistic from his side lol. Anyway, so he told his friends about us today and we both talked a while ago. He has this highly flirty nature(one of the reasons why i was apprehensive of having a relationship with him).He was telling me about this hot girl doing squats next to him in the gym and how she wears this tiny silver nose ring and he asked me to get it for me too. I told him that if i see him flirt around or find out ,i won't stop him or question him but i'll straightaway break up. He said that I'm caging him and that healthy flirting is alright. I don't mind him complimenting anyone but that's not all that he does. He literally flirts like giving a flying kiss or saying something like "that top really look good on you.I'll end up having a crush on you".

This is not acceptable to me. I told him that if i am committed to someone i won't stop talking to boys but i obviously wont flirt with any of them because i consider it to be cheating. Flirting for me means you're implying that you're available and interested. He's arguing that "healthy" flirting is alright and i shouldnt be stupid to ruin our relationship by breaking up due to such "petty" reasons.

What are your opinions on this ? Do you think this is acceptable?

His placements: Sun- Virgo , Moon and Venus - Scorpio

PS- I must also mention that i also gave him a choice to make. I told him that he has the option to end things now and flirt with whosoever howsoever whenever he wants. He said he only wants me with healthy flirting with other girls on.I find this weird tbh

Posted by Toti
Venus in Scorpio is a very difficult placement to deal with. Good luck!

What makes you say that @Toti ?