Virgo DO's

I'm sure all of you are familiar with my "disclaimer" from my other posts so just keep in mind that the same "disclaimer" applies to my opinion on this topic too.

Virgo DO's:
-Make sure that your Virgo is under the assumption that you take your appearance & how you appeal to others very seriously.

-Be patient and accepting of the Virgoan attention to detail. If your Virgo feels unappreciated or is made to feel guilty for what makes them who they are, they won't see a need to want to grow into anything with you.

-Show your Virgo how impressed you are by their constant efforts to improve their surroundings. They will work even harder to provide you with a picture-perfect home. Virgos know they can quite the perfectionists sometimes, & even if you aren't that's okay. But atleast make sure your Virgo knows that it doesn't bother you that they are this way.

-Be a friend and an intellectual companion, as well as a lover. Virgos are usually possessed of sharp wit and powerful analytic abilities. A Virgo needs a partner who can appreciate and cultivate these qualities. Sometimes your Virgo needs to see the "friend" in you more than the "lover" in you & vice versa. Make sure your Virgo knows that he can come to you about anything he'd go to a friend, lover or elder about.

-Try to remain at ease if your Virgo criticizes or overanalyzes you. A Virgo will eventually realize that even Virgos are not perfect. Sometimes when your Virgo is attempting to play the role as your "therapist" or "Dr. Phil" just let them. They mean no harm by it & half of the time are doing it so that they can get all of the answers to their own questions so that they can further understand why you are the way you are or why you feel the way you do. You have to remember that they are being this way b/c they actually care. Analyzing is something that comes natural to your Virgo. If you're Virgo feels that you cannot adapt or accept anything that comes "natural" to them, they won't see the need to be with someone they can't be themselves around.

-Being neat, punctual, clean, trustworthy & as nearly perfect as you can be. Virgos are attracted to those who take great pride in their appearance, their appeal to others & often can tell alot about someone by the way that person maintains their house or sanctuary. Your Virgo needs to know that atleast when around them, you are clean & understand the value of order & neatness. Do this for them when they're around b/c they always do it for you, even though it's something that comes natural for them.

-Be willing to follow their suggestions & teachings which often sound more like criticism than helpful, loving advice & constructive guidance. Understand that when your Virgo is giving you advice or helping you cope with something, learn to see the big picture in what they are saying. They are not speaking to you with the intentions to harm you. Even if you don't agree with the way they present their opinions to you, learn to see the big picture of what they are saying. Make sure your Virgo is under the assumption that you can actually learn from them & agree with atleast some of the things they say. If your Virgo feels that he can never get you to "understand this" or "realize that," he will become frustrated & will suddently stop playing the "teacher" role & eventually stray from you.

-Noticing & complimenting favorably on their work (make sure compliments are not made up or you will do more harm than good). Virgos don't need praise 24-7 but they atleast need to know that their partners atleast acknowledge everything they do for you. Virgos naturally have an urge & need to help others (even when they should be helping themselves) & making sure your Virgo knows how much you love this very thing about them means alot to them.

-Virgos tend to worry too much, so, seduce Virgo by helping them to worry less. Don't give them new problems. Try to bring some fun and joy in her life. Bring laughter. When your Virgo is down, try to chear them up to the best of your ability. When they worry too much, don't keep pressuring them to NOT worry b/c they won't listen to you. But instead try to do or say something that will take their focus off of whatever they were worrying about. When your Virgo sees that you have the ability to do that, he will appreciate you more than you'd ever know.

-Keep personal matters kept private. When your Virgo is confiding in you about something, always keep it to yourself. If your Virgo wanted the whole world to know his busine

....If your Virgo wanted the whole world to know his business, he would've put flyers up & told the world himself. Never make a Virgo feel that he can't tell you anything because then he will never be able to see you as a "friend" let alone a "lover."

Why are Virgos so into the friend thing? As in, focus heavily on the friendship aspects in a relationship.

And, how then do you know whether the Virgo sees you as a potential partner in the future or as a FRIEND with benefits?

Get what I mean?
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Well (to answer your first question) Virgos usually fall in love with those who are good friends to them first. I'm not saying, they have to be your friend for 2 years or 10 years before they attach to you, but things that happen during friendship are just as important to a Virgo then things that happen in a relationship. It's kind of like how some kids get along with their parents b/c their parents act more like their friends. But at the end of the day, when disobedience starts developing or just for the sake of raising your child right, you eventually have to become more of a "parent" than you are a friend to your child. And I think it's kind of the same thing with Virgos in relationships. When you're friends with someone you tend to be more honest with them about things they confide in you about b/c no feelings are attached, versus when you're in a relationship & your emotions, pride & stubborness can sway your partner in the wrong direction. I think Virgos still need to know that they can be told the truth or be guided (like that friend that's not attached would do b/c she has no reason to tell him wrong or lead him astray) just as much as they need the kind of support that ONLY someone who is in love with them can give them. Make sense? It's kind of hard to explain but...

"And, how then do you know whether the Virgo sees you as a potential partner in the future or as a FRIEND with benefits? "

Well, first off any time you are dating someone or feel yourself getting attached to them, the first mistake alot of people make is by giving all of themselves to the other person too soon (sex, time, money, love, energy, their secrets, access to everything in their lives,etc.) & of course when that happens, the other person no longer has anything else to look forward to (b/c he already has what she should've made him work/wait for). Therefore, your Virgo won't cut you off completely just b/c you give them too much access, b/c deep down they'll still appreciate all that you are. BUT, Virgos are no different than anybody else. They will not see you as a challenge & will stop wanting you for long-term & start using you for short-term (friends w/ benefits, etc.)

When a Virgo sees you as a potential long term partner, I think they show these feelings better than they can tell you. Virgos are naturally giving & are the "helpers" in society, but you should be able to know/feel the difference b/c your Virgo will do so many things for you that he doesn't do for others. Compare how he treats you versus how he treats the other women or men in his life. If he seems to do more for you, open up to you more & can actually admit that he's falling for you then you'll have to let the "connection" the two of you guys have, tell the story of rather he/she is in this for the long haul. One of my Ex's was a Virgo & when I caught myself falling for him, I kept asking him, "Do you see me as potential?" & all of those questions we want asked. And every time, he'd say something sweet but yet short to answer my questions, so I'd just figure he wasn't sure or was full of bull. But later on I realized that in HIS mind, he couldn't even believe I was asking that question. He thought I should've known the answer to that question just in all that he does for me. But see, b/c he wasn't verbally assuring me that I was potential, I wasn't paying attention to his ACTIONS that were CLEARLY showing me that he saw me as wayyyy different & more special than any other.

"how do I know if he is just seeing me as a friend vs. more?"

And see, that's why I've always had problem in terms of dating them. I like to get all of the feelings out & know that we're on the same page. It's 2009. I don't have the time to wait around & just "hope" that you're taking this "thing" we have seriously. That's why I think it's important to be good friends with your Virgo FIRST before a commitment is made b/c it becomes alot easier to tell the difference b/w how Virgos treat their friends & how they treat their loved ones.

Yes, Virgos will naturally help anyone, but it's those "personal" favors that Virgos will only do for those they deeply care for. My ex Virgo would do anything for his family & friends & I really admired this about him. But when he started doing things for me like he'd done for them, all I wanted to see was a clear difference between how he treated his female friends & how he treated me. Every time we'd go out in public together, people never got the impression that we were in a relationship. They'd assume that we were close friends or more like brother & sisters but I felt that others couldn't tell whether or not I was THE one or just ONE of his many friends he'd do anything for. And that bothered me for a long time. When I'd try to get him to open up to me, he'd give me short answers & wouldn't really leave me satisfied with his explanation. He'd always give me that look like "I can't believe you're even asking me if I care for you" b/c in his mind he thought it was obvious.

I really don't have the answer to that question. I, personally didn't wait it out. Even though I learned to accept others for who they are & how they are, it's still my own responsibility to make sure that I'm happy & I'm entitled to leave someone who I feel isn't easily adaptable to. I still had to be true to myself & to what I wanted out of a man. I left the relationship having all the questions you have. I just don't know. They say it's something you can "feel" versus just verbally being assured that they are exclusive with you

"How do I communicate I have feelings for him? Is that something he would feel comfortable knowing or would I freak him out? How would a Virguy react? "

Well, the best game to play is NO game. Always be true to yourself. If you're the type of person that needs to be emotionally assured through the other person being as open emotionally like you are, then by all means never change that about yourself (don't be afraid to be who you are) & find someone who won't bring out "fear" in you when it's time to get serious & talk about the seriousness of the relationship. Just give it a try. Sure, it might make him uncomfortable or a little shy in the beginning when it comes to him completely & emotionally opening up to you but just like you need a better understand of how he feels & how he "ticks," the same goes for you. The worst he can say (after 'the talk') is nothing. If he isn't as emotionally open as you want your partners to be then don't fight it b/c then you'll be asking him to rush or change how he expresses his own emotions. Give him the chance to show you AND tell you what you mean to him.

For all you know this Virgo might be too afraid to express his emotions to you b/c he might feel that he'll be rejected or that you won't take him seriously for having such strong feelings for you so early on in the relationship. Sometimes your Virgo is just sitting around waiting on you to go FIRST & then from there, the truth & emotions will come out. When you first open up your heart to a Virgo their outside body behaviors might not reflect what they are REALLY feeling on the inside. You might have to accept the fact that he's not going to wear his heart on his sleeve (verbally) the way you want him to or the way you do so it really comes down to you making the decision, not him. Even though he may not express himself as freely as you do doesn't mean that he doesn't care for you just as much as you care for him. But what it comes down to is this: Are you willing to adapt, accept & still want to grow with someone like this? If yes, then YOUR own patience is the key to making it work. If not, then hey, you did yourself a favor by leaving immediately b/c once you tell yourself that it won't work, it won't.

Another 2 thumbs up you got from this Virgo!

hikoro .. I think you should consider breaking it off with him and moving on.

I read your other thread (thanks for the link), and what you've said in here so far ... and it's clear to me that your frustration with him is based soley around emotional investment, and the expression of these feelings. Other areas of your relationship appear to be fine.

To think in the now, it would seem acceptable to keep going with the flow and enjoying what you two share ... however, in forsight, which is something you do think about because you've said a couple times that you don't want to waste your time if there is no future .... you might start to become restentful.

Of course, it wouldn't be your intention to become resentful, but, when is it ever ones intention?

You have to think about that, I should think. Everytime he evoke an emotion from you .. would you start to ask yourself .. why am I giving this to him? He doesn't appreciate my depth.

It would seem normal for a person to begin to regard the other in a different light, even if you didn't mean to. Wouldn't it seem natural for a person to STOP investing their emotional intensity if they knew it was unwanted, unappreciated, and not recipricol?

After a period of time, a short period I should think .... the resentment would set in every time he wanted you to show him how much you cared for him. You would always have lingering in the back of your mind .... is my love in vain? Isn't the love I have to give worth more?

If you think you can survive giving your feelings to this man without him wanting you to feel him .... then go for it ... but, this is something I think you should wiegh heavily, and ask yourself if you can feel a complete person when you give feelings to a person to whom doesn't want you to.

can i share here, P is giving you some good points to consider and look at honestly within yourself here,
*Wouldn't it seem natural for a person to STOP investing their emotional intensity if they knew it was unwanted, unappreciated, and not reciprocal?

I just went through similiar w/VIrgo man, and no, i do not want to invest anymore emotion into someone who does not reciprocate, difference w/us Hikoro, is mine feels a connection w/me on more than a intimate level and expressed as much to me in more than one way. By the same token, where he is, is not where i am, it is what it is, is it okay for him to keep "coming for fed" off my emotion at my expense when there is none for him, sure for him, not for me. This is where it is my responsibility to do what i need to do and not make him wrong for it or me.
If i allow it to continue on this level, my bad.
Even if as 25th said, he may not be seeing the forest for the trees, but, he does not see it, if you cant see it, it aint gonna happen. SO if i remove myself, he never seen it anyway, didnt feel it and all is okay, its me who "pays" with my emotions, not he.

Him love YET? boy, its been going on and off for a little over a year now w/long periods of absence between us, and he comes to me.
With this, comes my emotions like the freaking flood Noah(CHarleston HEston) let back out on the people! Better run, sink or swim, you got a chance to live take it!

"This is where it is my responsibility to do what i need to do and not make him wrong for it or me.
If i allow it to continue on this level, my bad."


Amen.



Another thing ... people have to keep in mind that we are all on a different path, for different reasons. We run across people to whom we can feel a connection, and we want to gravitate towards this other person because we can "feel" somethign is there. But, not every relation we have with other people are suppose to be for intimacy. Sometimes, people are only there because we have something to learn for our own self-growth.

And this is something I see in this scenerio, for you keep asking yourself these self-evolving questions, hikoro. And I also saw it in you PGA. I couldn't pick up in you, PGA, nor in you, hikoro, any energy that is suggesting that the man is to blame for your lives, if you life is taking you somewhere you don't want to go .... rather, you both are searching .. is this right for me? What must I do to make my life right for me?


And that is all it is about .. your life .. what you can make for yourself, how to make yourself happy, and hopefully find a person who wants to share it.


Who was it that said something like ... I thought I had lost something, then I realized that I had actually gained something.

well... aren't we all different when it comes to personality... ship shaped by environment and not only by our so intrusive stars... 🙂 (add the genes too to the mix)

shaks.. your b-day is too significant for men who entered my life.

Good luck boy! You are a good one... although a bit on the satirical side that is...

"we have way too much fire/sag/leo influence to plan out stuff like the textbook virgo, in fact, I'd get bored to death just thinking of planning"

It can also look like abuse of definition of fire signs. 🙂

We may work without (detailed and conservative) planning but we need GOALS anyway. If we do not work for an IDEA, a TARGET nothing is worth to be considered as MY JOB.

Indeed I went away from a Virguy cause I found he is not able to motivate me for a GOAL. Day by day is not a fire sign favorite motto. We go for big goals. We think big. It is obvious in all astro texts.

besides we have no fear to close the OLD in order to achieve the NEW. Virgos do.
They create distance to the old in very small steps which is intrigging enough to the old and new partners in their lives.

i have problem with a virgo guy..eventhough based on our horoscope we are perfect match..(i'm taurus), but still i can't understand him very well..most of the night i have to serch on net juz to know more about virgo guy..
i can feel he seems interested with me but when i asked who am i in his heart, he couldn't give me the exact answer..
i know he treats me differently compared to his other female friends ( as far as i know..he asked me for a dinner, he fetched me from my hometown but the only thing that he doesn't do is..expressing his feelings..for such a long time i wait him to say that he loves me..he miss me..but until now..i don't receive any of it..
now..i don't know whether to wait for him or walk away..
please help me to make the decision..
i love him so much..n i really want to be with him..he is the man that i adore
but...am i special for him?
am i the one for him?
is it worth to wait for him?
please...

25thDecan; thanks a lot..at least i learnt dat i shouldn't force him to express his feelings towards me..the best thing is u opened my eyes to see that different people would do different thing, n different way of showing their love n affections.
i juz wanna ask..how could i win his heart?
is dat ok if i sending him text everyday..to show dat i really care about him..as far as i know..virgo guy really love their personal time, they tend to focus more on their personal life, work, family n friends..so if i text him...i'm afraid dat he will feel unconfortable..
i juz wanna him to see dat i'm d best..i worth his love n i really want to b somebody in his life..i need his attention..so, plz help me to get his attention..plzzzzzzzz

Ummmm I dont think sending a text everyday is the best possible scenario. I think that would probably scare anybody to be honest LOL....I think perhaps go away and spend some time on your own as you seem terribly fixated on this guy. You should NEVER live your life for anybody, you need to make yourself happy before you could make a man happy.

I find the less I contact my Virgo the more he likes the chase so to speak. Ive found the less I smother him the more he wants to be around me.

I think its true that if a Virgo is spending money on you there's much more involved than just another chick he's hanging around with. Its the little things they do that they dont do for just anybody that makes all the difference.

Please dont text him everyday, that makes you come across as incredibly needy and clingy and what guy wants that? respect yourself woman please!!!

If a man said all that to me and we weren't in a FWB situation, I would walk away. A man/woman always knows how they feel about a person after 3 months at the very most..

"I wouldn't necessarily know if I was in love with someone in 3 months. Adoration, wonderful reciprocal lust, yeah, love- IONO"..

Don't all those feelings equate to being "in love"? A person always has an idea after that amount of time..at least for being exclusive etc..

What is IONO?