How do Virgos deal with Anger?

I'm curious.
I know it is an individual thing, but I was wondering if perhaps there was a dominating theme in how virgos respond to offense.

My thought is, they would withdraw and not return calls. Would I be correct?

I'm jumping ahead of myself, but if so, is it best to leave them alone and let them respond when ready.

It takes a lot, I mean A LOT to make a Virgo angry and response is as usual... Calm face appropriate behaviour and then depending on wounds may leave you alone for a while or forever.

forever!?
I won't go into details, but I might have unintentionally offended my virgo friend.
I could leave him alone,yet Im too intuitive and I need to say something about it. At the least apologize and admit I said something wrong.

Don't be apologic to a virgo creature, it is worsen your situation.

Instead, calmly (not in manipulative way) explain it to him why and then leave him alone to analyze pros and cons.

I see. Yes, well truly it was unintentional, so I guess it is best to not apologize.

Thank you.

I think Q's right. It takes a lot to make me angry and, as long as I'm talking, things are ok. When I'm really, really upset, I stop talking altogether. In those cases, I always appreciate an email apologizing and then enough time and space for me to work things out on my own. I prefer an email to a phone call simply because it places the ball in my court - I'm not forced to confront a situation I really don't want to deal with. I can't stress enough how important that distance and time is.

One other thing... if you do decide to send an email I would suggest avoiding any sort of justification. Say what you did, say what you intended, and then say you're sorry. DON'T say that the virgo misinterpreted it or demand anything of the virgo. DON'T assume you know what the virgo is feeling or what they need. DON'T let your need for some sort of resolution override your respect of the virgo's need to detach. Just put yourself out there, apologize, and back off.

If I'm really angry at someone I care about, initially I won't look them in the eye, and my jaw locks in place - I'm holding back what would be very hurtful to them - and I will avoid them. Once I've calmed down - regained control of myself - most times I'll tell them what pissed me off (if they haven't figured it out already).

A sincere apology is accepted, and generally all is forgiven. I won't forget it, but I also don't through it back up at you later on...

Yes, your descriptions of reactions to offense fits quite well my situation.

I hope I haven't justified what I said to him, I think I have only explained what happened. I said I was sorry to him simply because it was a hurtful thing that happened, and I am sorry about it.
But now Im wondering if I approached the situation too lightly,(with wit and some trivia)and perhaps I need to explain it more. Im thinking a more explicative email, with more room to respond with honest feelings.
Damn my scorp intuition - it makes me too paranoid, and slightly obsessive.

Keep it simple. Just state the facts. If it was inadvertent, he's not gonna hold it against you until doomsday. Most VirGuys have a long fuse, and some offhand comment ain't gonna get it lit...

I agree with what all my virgo friends said ... personally if someone is appologising to me for something they did/said and it hurt me I'd rather know why, saying sorry usually is enough for me but knowing why helps me understand them better and in the process know them better 🙂 ... *hints about pisces gf*

thanks to all.
I had already explained the situation to him in a previous email, and then I was ready to send another email to talk about it again. I waited and waited, holding off sending it. I did not send it. and phew. I'm glad I didn't send it, it would have exasperated the whole thing, because he responded in the end, and he responded well. I know he must have thought about what happened, but I don't need to talk to him about it now.

Im so thankful for your advice. For a scorp I can be extremely impetuous. Virgos are teaching me a better way to respond. Slowing down, and delivering deliberate thoughts and responses.

Although Ive only known my Virgo personally for a short while Ive not seen him angry but we discussed how we'd be when we're angry...he said "it takes a lot for me to get angry and you'll know about it as I will walk away and leave you be for quite some time, then come back as though nothing happened" and I believe that. He has this constant smile on his face...thats what is so endearing about him....he's like a dolphin - he cant help it 😛

my virgo female friends are the same...they just retreat and go off to think or do what they have to...they never shout or make bad comments about people. They may nitpic or clean up after you but never say bad things about you, well not to you anyway, in fact, I dont know many Virgos that are gossipers behind peoples backs.....

Being a Leo though? OMG I would fly off the handle, have a good cry (a hormonal outburst probably damnit) and then be over it....quick, fast, perhaps a little painful to others if we're wounded but it'll be over in a flash!!! then we'll be extremely apologetic and that part sucks coz we know we went off too quickly but having said that, it does take a lot to get me that way..it doesnt happen very often but keep clear til the dust settles....over the years Ive learnt to contain that kind of anger though. Its good to have a very steady partner, it keeps us balanced 🙂

thanks chatz.

I received a similar reaction as you mentioned, from my virg friend, just not in person.

I usually hide my hurt and even my anger, and unlike what is expected of scorps I do not brood or seek revenge. Depending on the situation, I will attempt speak about it to the other person.

I just want to say, my best friend is a leo. A scorp and leo best friends, it is the bizarrest thing. My leo friend is like you, she used to get mad and it passed very quickly, and then its all back to give, give, give. They are the most generous people I have come across. They give you everything and anything. I am forever receiving gifts from my friend, even on facebook. lol

Their emotions are far too controlled to let rip..lol

I have seen an angry virgo guy at work and its not a pretty sight..he grinds his teeth and slams his fists down on the desk...but he is a loner bless him...

my one just got annoyed once at his plane tickets being delayed...I could sense he was annoyed as he wasn't his usual chirpy self..left him to it and he phoned back later to explain...done..don't pester is the key

It takes consistent aggravation to get me angry.

When I am steaming mad, I get quiet and stop talking.
People who tell me what to do or what I need to do, thoroughly piss me off.

The key to most if not all Virgo problems, is to leave us ALONE.
Be direct, to the point without any imposing of oneself unto us AFTER we have had our alone time.

It takes me a while for me to get truly angry... The quickest way is to insult my intelligence -- I can't stand it when people order me around, take me for granted, or talk down to me. When I've reached the end of my rope, I have to get myself away from the person for a few hours or days to calm myself down and think. I found out that do have a pretty sharp tongue, so if I've been provoked into an argument and don't get my alone time, I'm likely to say a few things that will hurt your feelings...

Virgo here...

Whenever I'm angry at someone... I find it difficult look him/her in the eye or even talk to confront him/her. I tend to just shut up and not talk to the person for sometime. I use the time I spend ignoring the person to cool down, think and realize that every person makes mistakes. After that, I would gradually feel fine with the whole conflict and be cordial with the person I'm angry at eventually. I also find it easier to accept friends who would immediately say sorry to me if an offense has been made. The hurt alleviates faster.

yeah it's best to let the Virgo have their own space, because if not they will take it out on other people.

I have a very long fuse attached to a very large bomb!

I know it is an individual thing, but I was wondering if perhaps there was a dominating theme in how virgos respond to offense.

from my experience, it has been
- they may correct you immediately kindof snap at you maybe, if the offense is related to perceived inaccurate fact

- they go silent initially, then later the way they see best, address it... might store it until it accumulates and release with other stuff

virgos do seem to respond to anger in a similar way. and all that kinda fits with my experiences with this virguy. withdraw, assess, and then respond appropriately. are these signs really that all together? lol

i believe the person who has caused the offense is better off responsing calmly, and from a distance eg. email and without emotion.

"I have a very long fuse attached to a very large bomb!"

Haha, here here!

Lol @ stringsattached. thanks that was very helpful, and gave me a laugh at the same time.

oh these virgs are delicate creatures. but sharp, very sharp.

I agree on most of this. I need to take time off, quietly analyze pros and cons. I don't get angry easily (I sound like I am angry because I raise my voice, but mostly that is annoyance).

Best way to approach would be to explain why and then go. Most of all, we want to know why you did it, and we want you to be honest about why you did it.

Acting like being stung by a Scorpio is pretty much out of the question as we'll just spite you back (and we can, we're clever enough for that).

Are you sure these lovely virginal people are like that? 😉

but thanks 25thD I'll keep that in mind.

k... so i should have left him alone completely... i get it... but i didn't do it... i'm doing it now, though! i know for sure that he still loves me... do you think there's stil hope?

phsss.. aries and virgo relationship... hard hard hard ---- way too different languages... except for bed

^^^ I totally agree Zen 😛

It's been a while since I logged back on here. Just wanted to post recent happenings on this board so I could get some insight as to what to do/or not to do.
After weeks of internal pain and heartache I felt way better and started living my life again. I "accepted" the fact that it was over and started to move on with my life... well guess what... lol... He called me on Tuesday this week just to see how I was doing... What?!?! lol It brought me right back to the feelings I had before. It was the first 'nice' conversation we've had since our breakup. We talked about what each has been up to, he told me that his daughter misses my children... We laughed lightly about stuff... and then I had to let him go because I was on my way out to do a workshop. We left it at "I hope you have a very nice day" and that was that. Since then I've been wondering what the heck that was about— I thought he hated me! lol I am very confused by this and don't know what to make of it. What do you think?

I agree, it takes ALOT for a
virgo to get mad. When they
get really mad, most of them
dont show it with a big angry
face or loud yells. Most of them
like me would just be calm
thinking thinking and thinking 😉

hmmm yea silent anger sounds right. Silent treatment. It would take sooooo much bullshit for me to yell let alone freak out. Get over things either very quickly or never. Im a sucker for an extremely heartfelt apology tho.

I don't get angry to often and I'm a virgo but there are times when people really hit a nerve.People usually do not sense my anger until I stop talking completely.I think it's better to bottle up my anger. When I do that it's like telling my 'enemy' to just **** off.It's usually better to just leave me alone or I might jus say something or do something that might really hurt your feeling.Usually when a friend get's me upset I stay away forever. I don't like people saying sorry to my face so maybe an e mail could work but usually it's an ended friendship for me.

Virgos are definitely no fun to argue with... blegh

Me and my siblings can agree that we never knew when my Virgoen mother was angry.
It's like she would warn us but we just didn't believe her... until all hell broke loose!
But that took a whole whole whole lot of pain-in-the-asseing to get her there 😛

So if you've been calmly warned, believe it hehe

As for my Virgoen love.. well it's like he just neutralizes my argumentative energy..
" !!!!" into a black hole.. there we go, that's a good analogy.

Most Virgos REALLY do NOT like to argue. It irritates them if you try to suck them
into an argument. Nothing *echo echo echoooo*

The issue at hand is SERIOUS. What issue? Any issue.
I created a word for it.. Analcity.. LoL my Virgo does not much appreciate it. Ah ee lai kit!
They get mad when you can't see the seriousness in the subject at hand btw.

I'd also like to point out that IF you happened to get under their skin, it was
only because you made no friggin sense.. and you wasted their time and
energy... according to them.

Better have some good points to back up your position.
Yelling anger out of your system is not valid. Not for them.

Even a fun debate may turn sour if you happen to strike a soft chord.
There they go getting pouty and quiet. But yeah, leave 'em alone.
They do get over it. Ohhh and DO NOT bring it up again! LoL

But they're surprisingly understanding creatures if you approach them in
an earnest way.

I agree with Jayna001. Last time I actually yelled at someone because of anger was years ago. Most of the time when I get angry, I just need some time to cool off, think things through. I remember this once I got mad at one of my house mates. I immediately took off and let my self cool down and think about stuff objectively. When I came back home, I was able to talk to her again like nothing had happened.

As a female Virgo I know I have a lot of patience with people. I have so much patience that it seems like I have no dignity. I am not one to "fly off the handle" and tell someone off. However, if someone repeatedly pisses me off and doesn't seem to get it, whether they are intentionally doing it or not, I will show my displeasure by not acting as friendly with them. If they continue to not get it and keep it up, I will move on and never look back. If it's a one time or two time thing I can deal, but if the same offense happens repeatedly with complete disregard to my feelings I will cut the person off indefinitely. I will make it like I never existed to them. If I run into them by coincidence I will avoid them to the best of my ability and if that's not possible I will act like everything's ok, but once I am out of their presence, I no longer exist to them again.

If someone does something so miserable with only the pure intention to hurt me, that's it. It can be a friend or aquaintance. I will cut them off and not only ignore their existence, but like I said, I will no longer exist to them either. I will make sure I am not seen or heard from again. I have lost a lot of so-called friends because of this.

I can only be pissed off by the same people so many times before something in my mind snaps and I completely disconnect. At that point nothing will bring me back, because as I said, I had extreme patience throughout and if they didn't get it, they don't know me or they don't care. If they purposely hurt me I see red because never in my life have I ever hurt anyone intentionally. I am a great reader of people and know if I may have said or done something offensive, but I rarely do. If I do hurt someone I apologize and try my best to make it up to them. For hurt to be caused to me intentionally is definitely grounds for dismissal from my life.

We internalize the situation , analyze the intention , if you worth being around confront you after withdrawing , or simply coming back as if nothing happened , or leave you lone forever depending on how big the offense was ...

Maybe I won't speak to them in the beginning (first few hours), but as long as they can figure out on their own what they did...I'm cool.
I can figure out what I do wrong all on my own, and so it annoys me greatly when other people can't figure it out for themselves. I'm not a babysitter.

Posted by LovelyTune
Lol @ stringsattached. thanks that was very helpful, and gave me a laugh at the same time.

oh these virgs are delicate creatures. but sharp, very sharp.

You are so right with that comment. When we get angry, hurt, whatever... and you might not know we are upset bc most of the time we go silent in our own world, BUT real hurt, anger, distrust really hits deep with us, even though we wouldn't let you know it. Double-edged sword. I know I personally go out of my way not to hurt or anger someone unless I am really, really pissed.

Aquamarine, Herbal Tea
Practice Peace

Well lets see it depends, If I havent known you long and you piss me off I can cut you completely off and not contact you again but if you are close to me and I care about you, I will more than likely not say a word until you apologize and if you do make it short and sweet and I normally will accept it and things will be okay again. It also depends on how bad you piss me off if its something big then I will cut you off completely, if its little I'll get over it with a little time to analyze it by myself.

Very interesting thread, wish I had seen this years ago. Bumping this to the top.

anger for me is never immediate so i concur with others in saying it takes a lot for something to go over my tolerance level to anger me. usually repeat offenders will do it for me. things that anger me usually tend to be something maliciously done to hurt me or to someone i care for, with intent. (if you did something stupid out of ignorance then that would just annoy me, not anger me.) reason being, i cannot fathom the idea that someone would be so base as to intentionally be malicious. usually the first time around i'm faced with confusion, second time around hurt, third time around anger. third time's a charm so they say.

Posted by Qbone
It takes a lot, I mean A LOT to make a Virgo angry and response is as usual... Calm face appropriate behaviour and then depending on wounds may leave you alone for a while or forever.

To the letter.

You will need to go to the Virgo if you want them back. Even if they are at fault. And its not like they don't know they messed up we just feel ashamed and we wounded you badly that we should go away.

If you wounded us. That is way more tricky. Odds are if we are gone its for good.

Hello I'm dating a Virgo September 15 I'm a Libra October 20 we've been dating for almost 3years We had a lot of drama but we got passed it . But recently he took me there. For his birthday I hired chef to cook for us and tried to make his bday special But as the chef was cooking for us he was texting a women asking if she was gonna give him birthday sex, I didn't trip I continue making sure he had a great bday. The next day he was drinking and wanted to use my car to go to the casino So he went in my purse and found a condom and went nuts I still didn't fight back I just cried after being annoyed with his name calling and crazy ways When he calmed down I told him where it came from He expressed how it made him feel and how he understand where I come from now. The next day I called the women he texted to see if they were using protection because I was having surgery the following day. He called me mad that I did that and said I was acting insecure and I'm not his girl yet, he also said that I make him feel if he does commitment I'm gonna always call his friends to see if they are really friends . I said whatever and left it alone. The. Next day I had surgery and he didn't call or. CHeck to see if I was fine so I called him, we were arguing about me calling the girl and me wanting him to feel sorry for being in pain, he was pissing me off and hurting my feelings to the point I wanted to hurt his I got so upset i said that's why I slept with some men in your bed while you were out doing you! But he had said to me one the exact same thing but he said he did it in my car. I was pissed he was making me mad I wanted him to be pissed! He told me to stop calling him I didn't I called none stop all the way til the next morning. He Ignored my calls / texts and everything The next day he changed his number on me. When I went to get my stuff from him he called the police on me Assuming I was gonna be acting crazy because he wasn't trying to talk but I didn't I just left He didn't or won't say why he stop talking to me and I don't know what to do I contacted all friends and things to see rather I should pursue him or leave it alone. I don't know what to believe anymore. I don't know if he cares or he's just playing me and this other women he really wants and he's mad I contacted her or he just doesn't know about me because of everything we've been threw. I have his back I'm always there for him He always has me up under him all the time I'm just lost and I want him bac

You find a thread from 2009 to repost your story? Why? because people where telling you things you didn't want to hear in your thread?

Leave him ALONE. He changed his number that should be answer enough. Rest of my comments will be in the actual thread you created.

Depends. What is his moon?

I was responding to the OP not knowing this is from 2009.

So to Libra girl, find ways to get over him because he got over you already.

well when they get annoyed or think you hurt them, I think they'll just ignore you. When you push their boundaries, it all comes out.