sunflowers&curls
@Chelsey07
9 Years500+ Posts
Comments: 4 · Posts: 586 · Topics: 22
Virgo male coworker acting weird towards me.
Posted by Astrology101Oh trust me, I wanted to yell at him, but my best friend talked me out of it. I had played out scenarios of what I would say and I would feel myself getting angry. When I get angry, I start to cry.
Well for me personally I'd have screamed at the guy for treating me the way he did and then moved on.
Cause there is no telling why he did what he did.
Posted by tizianiCould be it, but it's hard to think of the various reasons when you seem him HAPPILY interacting with everyone else BUT you. He's full of smiles and is talking like nothing is wrong, but me? No words to say, no emotion. I will say that he does still have that puppy behavior about him (i.e. when a puppy sees their owner they get really happy and start to wag their tails). He does that and then when he sees me, it's like he turns it off.
Well, in all seriousness, it sounds like his mental health really isn't in a good place.
Posted by Astrology101I wouldn't make a scene, hence the reason why I tried to get him alone and talk to him about how I felt. And I'm slowly moving on. It just hurts you know?Posted by Chelsey07Plus you are at work? so best not to create a scene.Posted by Astrology101Oh trust me, I wanted to yell at him, but my best friend talked me out of it. I had played out scenarios of what I would say and I would feel myself getting angry. When I get angry, I start to cry.
Well for me personally I'd have screamed at the guy for treating me the way he did and then moved on.
Cause there is no telling why he did what he did.
I think you should move on.. You can ask him what was up his ass.. if he chooses to come around.click to expand
Posted by tizianiHe was so friendly and we became really close to each other. There was a lot of flirting and sexual tension between us. He was telling me that he was starting to have a crush on me and I told him the same. When he went dead silent on me the first time, I decided to ask him what was going on and that's when he told me he had lost his son a little over 3 months ago. I told him that I would be there for him and that he had my number if he needed to talk, a shoulder to cry on or whatever. I just wanted him to know that I cared (still do). He thanked me and we were fine. The sex just caused him to completely withdraw from me.Posted by Chelsey07How was he acting before you both had sex?Posted by tizianiCould be it, but it's hard to think of the various reasons when you seem him HAPPILY interacting with everyone else BUT you. He's full of smiles and is talking like nothing is wrong, but me? No words to say, no emotion. I will say that he does still have that puppy behavior about him (i.e. when a puppy sees their owner they get really happy and start to wag their tails). He does that and then when he sees me, it's like he turns it off.
Well, in all seriousness, it sounds like his mental health really isn't in a good place.
Either he's unstable or a master con artist, but it's a lot of work to go through just to get some sex. There are easier ways if he really was faking it.
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Posted by Astrology101It was great. It was probably some of the best sex I had. He knew my body well. I'd want it constantly if he wasn't being so fucking weird towards me.Posted by Chelsey07Chalk it up to experience.. Was the sex good?Posted by Astrology101I wouldn't make a scene, hence the reason why I tried to get him alone and talk to him about how I felt. And I'm slowly moving on. It just hurts you know?Posted by Chelsey07Plus you are at work? so best not to create a scene.Posted by Astrology101Oh trust me, I wanted to yell at him, but my best friend talked me out of it. I had played out scenarios of what I would say and I would feel myself getting angry. When I get angry, I start to cry.
Well for me personally I'd have screamed at the guy for treating me the way he did and then moved on.
Cause there is no telling why he did what he did.
I think you should move on.. You can ask him what was up his ass.. if he chooses to come around.
click to expand
Posted by Astrology101It was great. It was probably some of the best sex I've had. He knew my body well. I'd want it constantly if he weren't being so fucking weird towards me.Posted by Chelsey07Chalk it up to experience.. Was the sex good?Posted by Astrology101I wouldn't make a scene, hence the reason why I tried to get him alone and talk to him about how I felt. And I'm slowly moving on. It just hurts you know?Posted by Chelsey07Plus you are at work? so best not to create a scene.Posted by Astrology101Oh trust me, I wanted to yell at him, but my best friend talked me out of it. I had played out scenarios of what I would say and I would feel myself getting angry. When I get angry, I start to cry.
Well for me personally I'd have screamed at the guy for treating me the way he did and then moved on.
Cause there is no telling why he did what he did.
I think you should move on.. You can ask him what was up his ass.. if he chooses to come around.
click to expand
Posted by Astrology101Posted by Chelsey07Ok I'm getting the feeling he is feeling guilty about something... which is why he's not talking to you.Posted by Astrology101It was great. It was probably some of the best sex I had. He knew my body well. I'd want it constantly if he wasn't being so fucking weird towards me.Posted by Chelsey07Chalk it up to experience.. Was the sex good?Posted by Astrology101I wouldn't make a scene, hence the reason why I tried to get him alone and talk to him about how I felt. And I'm slowly moving on. It just hurts you know?Posted by Chelsey07Plus you are at work? so best not to create a scene.Posted by Astrology101Oh trust me, I wanted to yell at him, but my best friend talked me out of it. I had played out scenarios of what I would say and I would feel myself getting angry. When I get angry, I start to cry.
Well for me personally I'd have screamed at the guy for treating me the way he did and then moved on.
Cause there is no telling why he did what he did.
I think you should move on.. You can ask him what was up his ass.. if he chooses to come around.
I'd ignore him. Just go on like nothing happened. Laugh, be merry, make friends. And forget this guy exists.
click to expand
Maybe for playing me? He should be. So I should stop making small talk with him (i.e. he starts the conversations not me)? Wouldn't that come off as me feeling salty even though I am?
Posted by Tom_SawyerCare to elaborate?
Oh dear..
Posted by Tom_SawyerOkay got it...in regards to come after me, do you mean violently? And I wouldn't dare do that to him. What benefit would I get from telling the world that he lost his only child? Or anything for that matter? We both agreed to be discreet about our situation, but this is ridiculous! Like you can't even talk to me anymore?!?! Don't you remember me? If I sound really distraught, it's because I am. I can't let him know that I care about him when he's pushed me away.Posted by Chelsey07Could be anything really.Posted by Tom_SawyerCare to elaborate?
Oh dear..
My guess is you saw the real person behind the mask - he didn't see it coming/underestimated the situation and now sees you as a threat.
Virgos are analytical to the max and if he believes you can expose him(in any way) wouldn't surprise me if at some point he would go after you.
You should probably get out of the situation and leave him be.click to expand
Posted by Tom_SawyerPosted by Chelsey07If someone would attempt to dishonor me, I would come after them very violently.Posted by Tom_SawyerOkay got it...in regards to come after me, do you mean violently? And I wouldn't dare do that to him. What benefit would I get from telling the world that he lost his only child? Or anything for that matter? We both agreed to be discreet about our situation, but this is ridiculous! Like you can't even talk to me anymore?!?! Don't you remember me? If I sound really distraught, it's because I am. I can't let him know that I care about him when he's pushed me away.Posted by Chelsey07Could be anything really.Posted by Tom_SawyerCare to elaborate?
Oh dear..
My guess is you saw the real person behind the mask - he didn't see it coming/underestimated the situation and now sees you as a threat.
Virgos are analytical to the max and if he believes you can expose him(in any way) wouldn't surprise me if at some point he would go after you.
You should probably get out of the situation and leave him be.
But that's just me.
What would you benefit from telling the world that he lost his only child?
Nothing except for a possible enemy.
Most people don't seem to be very farsighted and in the heat of the moment/emotions get back at a person and end up regretting it when it's too late.
Maybe you should see it as a "pass" that he's ignoring you.
click to expand
Got it. You're making the blow easier and easier for me. It really hurts right now.
Posted by Tom_SawyerPosted by Chelsey07I imagine it does but most likely you dodged a nice caliber bullet.Posted by Tom_SawyerPosted by Chelsey07If someone would attempt to dishonor me, I would come after them very violently.Posted by Tom_SawyerOkay got it...in regards to come after me, do you mean violently? And I wouldn't dare do that to him. What benefit would I get from telling the world that he lost his only child? Or anything for that matter? We both agreed to be discreet about our situation, but this is ridiculous! Like you can't even talk to me anymore?!?! Don't you remember me? If I sound really distraught, it's because I am. I can't let him know that I care about him when he's pushed me away.Posted by Chelsey07Could be anything really.Posted by Tom_SawyerCare to elaborate?
Oh dear..
My guess is you saw the real person behind the mask - he didn't see it coming/underestimated the situation and now sees you as a threat.
Virgos are analytical to the max and if he believes you can expose him(in any way) wouldn't surprise me if at some point he would go after you.
You should probably get out of the situation and leave him be.
But that's just me.
What would you benefit from telling the world that he lost his only child?
Nothing except for a possible enemy.
Most people don't seem to be very farsighted and in the heat of the moment/emotions get back at a person and end up regretting it when it's too late.
Maybe you should see it as a "pass" that he's ignoring you.
Got it. You're making the blow easier and easier for me. It really hurts right now.
Oh well, good day to be alive, darling.
click to expand
Thanks again!?
Posted by BuffaloBills28Well he's being weird as fuck and I wish he would cut the bullshit.
I don't know, but he sounds weird as fk..
He lost his CHILD...
Ever think this has nothing to do with YOU?
Some people need to take their pride and shove it.
You saw his vulnerable side, and you didn't do a single thing to comfort him.
Of course he's going to stop talking to you. YOU made him think you don't give a F U C K.
If you actually showed some sympathy towards him, I am pretty certain things would have played out differently. He would start to be more trusting around you with his feelings.
As long as your pride is in the way, please move along.
Ever think this has nothing to do with YOU?
Some people need to take their pride and shove it.
You saw his vulnerable side, and you didn't do a single thing to comfort him.
Of course he's going to stop talking to you. YOU made him think you don't give a F U C K.
If you actually showed some sympathy towards him, I am pretty certain things would have played out differently. He would start to be more trusting around you with his feelings.
As long as your pride is in the way, please move along.
Posted by Astrology101You know what...you're right. My story is as inconsistent as his personality. I'll ask him why is he behaving that way.Posted by Chelsey07So he is making small talk?Posted by Astrology101Posted by Chelsey07Ok I'm getting the feeling he is feeling guilty about something... which is why he's not talking to you.Posted by Astrology101It was great. It was probably some of the best sex I had. He knew my body well. I'd want it constantly if he wasn't being so fucking weird towards me.Posted by Chelsey07Chalk it up to experience.. Was the sex good?Posted by Astrology101I wouldn't make a scene, hence the reason why I tried to get him alone and talk to him about how I felt. And I'm slowly moving on. It just hurts you know?Posted by Chelsey07Plus you are at work? so best not to create a scene.Posted by Astrology101Oh trust me, I wanted to yell at him, but my best friend talked me out of it. I had played out scenarios of what I would say and I would feel myself getting angry. When I get angry, I start to cry.
Well for me personally I'd have screamed at the guy for treating me the way he did and then moved on.
Cause there is no telling why he did what he did.
I think you should move on.. You can ask him what was up his ass.. if he chooses to come around.
I'd ignore him. Just go on like nothing happened. Laugh, be merry, make friends. And forget this guy exists.
Maybe for playing me? He should be. So I should stop making small talk with him (i.e. he starts the conversations not me)? Wouldn't that come off as me feeling salty even though I am?
I thought you said he avoids you?
Next time when he comes to make "small talk" ask him why he is ignoring you.
After that he will leave you be....
And your story sounds inconsistent.click to expand
Virgos always do this. If they feel things are moving to fast. They take things really really slow. Act nonchalant w him and don't let him sense your pining for him. Let him come to you by being polite and friendly
Posted by DarkLoneWolfYou sound like my best friend. I offered sympathy before I even caught him crying and he turned it down. I asked him repeatedly if he wanted to talk, if he needed a hug and he said no. THEN, the following day is when I caught him crying. Should I have went to console him? Sure. Would he have accepted it? No. It would've pushed him further away due to him liking to be alone.
He lost his CHILD...
Ever think this has nothing to do with YOU?
Some people need to take their pride and shove it.
You saw his vulnerable side, and you didn't do a single thing to comfort him.
Of course he's going to stop talking to you. YOU made him think you don't give a F U C K.
If you actually showed some sympathy towards him, I am pretty certain things would have played out differently. He would start to be more trusting around you with his feelings.
As long as your pride is in the way, please move along.
So the not giving a fuck part is a lie. I care a lot for him, but I can't force him to accept my sympathy/love.
Posted by NineAvenueIt could be. I don't know anymore.
maybe the issue is his childs death... and emotions for you at the same time. its a lot to swallow.
Posted by Stensco21That's what I've been doing and it seems to be working, but I wish he would be upfront with me. I feel it's so childish that I have to lure him in like some wild animal instead of him saying "Hey, this, this and this is bothering me and I'm sorry that I started acting funny towards you after we had sex." Simple stuff.
Virgos always do this. If they feel things are moving to fast. They take things really really slow. Act nonchalant w him and don't let him sense your pining for him. Let him come to you by being polite and friendly
Posted by Chelsey07That's what he wants. I have Capricorn Rising and Virgo dudes flock toward me so I've had three Virgo bf. If they get to close or overly emotional about you they back away and go into a shell and if they come back out they go in baby steps and hope you go at a slower pace then the first time. Even y'all did it he prb can't emotionally process it moving that fast no matter how much he enjoyed itPosted by Stensco21That's what I've been doing and it seems to be working, but I wish he would be upfront with me. I feel it's so childish that I have to lure him in like some wild animal instead of him saying "Hey, this, this and this is bothering me and I'm sorry that I started acting funny towards you after we had sex." Simple stuff.
Virgos always do this. If they feel things are moving to fast. They take things really really slow. Act nonchalant w him and don't let him sense your pining for him. Let him come to you by being polite and friendlyclick to expand
Posted by Stensco21Posted by Chelsey07That's what he wants. I have Capricorn Rising and Virgo dudes flock toward me so I've had three Virgo bf. If they get to close or overly emotional about you they back away and go into a shell and if they come back out they go in baby steps and hope you go at a slower pace then the first time. Even y'all did it he prb can't emotionally process it moving that fast no matter how much he enjoyed itPosted by Stensco21That's what I've been doing and it seems to be working, but I wish he would be upfront with me. I feel it's so childish that I have to lure him in like some wild animal instead of him saying "Hey, this, this and this is bothering me and I'm sorry that I started acting funny towards you after we had sex." Simple stuff.
Virgos always do this. If they feel things are moving to fast. They take things really really slow. Act nonchalant w him and don't let him sense your pining for him. Let him come to you by being polite and friendlyclick to expand
Okay. That makes total sense. I'm gonna add a little more backstory:
The last 2 days is the closest we've been in a second and he called me "baby" but he thought I didn't hear him. Today, I was in a pretty shitty mood because my job is high stress and he tried to comfort me, but his idea of "comfort" is to have sex and when I declined, he started drifting away from me again.
It's starting to sound like he only wanted the sex and used his son as a pawn. Or does that still show that I don't give a f u c k about his feelings @DarkLoneWolf ?
Posted by greylaternI'm glad I decided to look at my post again and saw this because I think you're right. A few days ago, he finally pulled me to the side and we had "that talk" that I had been wanting for the longest. This time, his apology seemed more sincere and he told me more than I was expecting. He did in fact tell me that he thinks he's "losing it" (his mind that is) and that he didn't mean to make me feel like I was just a piece of ass to him and that he enjoys the time we spend together in and out of his bed. I told him I did too and then I started grilling him about his behavior. He said the exact same thing you did: that he didn't want me to be dragged into his fucked up grieving process, but how am I not getting dragged in when I care about him?
Keep in mind I created a account just to respond to your question.
The answer is simple. He is a emotional reck and doesn't want to bring you into it. However the connection with you does bring him comfort but he knows it is unfair to you. So he is fighting himself.
This is the closest I ever felt to him and it felt good. He started showing me pictures of him and his son, videos of him at his grave and the part where I seen him get extremely emotional..his grandchildren. He started yelling "I don't know what to do with children! I haven't done this shit since my son was a kid! I'm starting all over again and..." and his voice trailed off. I tried to hold him, but he wouldn't let me. I think that was my Cancer moon coming out, but I wish he wouldn't hold himself back from me. I don't want to keep playing keep away just to reel him back in.
jfc
The man can't even breathe with you ......
There's no hope for this to come to anything of value ... due to you smothering the fuck out of it.
Posted by P-Angel@P-Angel Well, aren't you a ray of sunshine.?
jfc
The man can't even breathe with you ......
There's no hope for this to come to anything of value ... due to you smothering the fuck out of it.
You're saying I'm smothering him? I think I give him plenty of space and I've never pressured him to talk to me when he didn't want to. I kinda have what I call an "open door policy" where I allow you to talk to me whenever you're ready and that's not just for him, I use that on everyone that I'm close to and it works.
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The following day, it was the same ordeal: terribly awkward on his end, but this time, I caught him crying. Not just a couple of thug tears, but full fledged crying with complimentary snot. I wanted to comfort him, but my pride wouldn't let me. Fast forward to me leaving for the day and he made some small talk with me and apologized for how he's been treating me for the past few days. I begrudgingly accepted it, but not really.
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I haven't called or texted him since the day he ignored my call and I've been giving him space like he asked. I'm just wondering should I flat out ignore him or just continue this weird tip-toeing around the situation? What do you think is the real reason for him acting this way?