Virgo male coworker acting weird towards me.

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sunflowers&curls
@Chelsey07
9 Years500+ Posts

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In the beginning of me first working at my job, I met a Virgo man and we hit it off pretty well. To make a long story short, we started spending time together and we eventually had sex. Then he switched on me. He wasn't open and friendly towards me anymore.

The very next day after we slept together, he told me about how he's been grieving over his son and needs some time to himself with just him and God. We had talked about losing his son before we started sleeping together, but I thought it was strange. Nonetheless, I respected his answer and he told me we would talk later. When I didn't hear from him, I gave him a call just for it to ring a few times and go to voicemail. I knew that he more than likely was next to the phone and ignored my call.

When I saw him the next day, he was acting really strange towards me. I asked him if he had a minute to talk and he gave me this cold stare and said no. Okay fine...whatever. When we ran into each other as I left, he was very awkward towards me and I tried my best to not take it personally.

The following day, it was the same ordeal: terribly awkward on his end, but this time, I caught him crying. Not just a couple of thug tears, but full fledged crying with complimentary snot. I wanted to comfort him, but my pride wouldn't let me. Fast forward to me leaving for the day and he made some small talk with me and apologized for how he's been treating me for the past few days. I begrudgingly accepted it, but not really.

Since then, he's been treating me as if he doesn't know me besides the small talk we have and I really just wanna tell him that it's only as awkward as you make it, but I have a feeling that he's not hearing it.

I've talked to a couple of my girl and guy friends and I've gotten so many answers. Some are saying that sex was all he wanted, others are saying that he's using sex as a distraction over losing his son, and a couple said that he has feelings for me but doesn't know how to express himself hence withdrawing from me. My best friend said that I shouldn't be so angry for him doing this to me since he lost his child, but I have a hard time forgiving and I'm still feeling a little salty over it.

I haven't called or texted him since the day he ignored my call and I've been giving him space like he asked. I'm just wondering should I flat out ignore him or just continue this weird tip-toeing around the situation? What do you think is the real reason for him acting this way?
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sunflowers&curls
@Chelsey07
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Posted by Astrology101
Well for me personally I'd have screamed at the guy for treating me the way he did and then moved on.

Cause there is no telling why he did what he did.
Oh trust me, I wanted to yell at him, but my best friend talked me out of it. I had played out scenarios of what I would say and I would feel myself getting angry. When I get angry, I start to cry.
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sunflowers&curls
@Chelsey07
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Posted by tiziani
Well, in all seriousness, it sounds like his mental health really isn't in a good place.
Could be it, but it's hard to think of the various reasons when you seem him HAPPILY interacting with everyone else BUT you. He's full of smiles and is talking like nothing is wrong, but me? No words to say, no emotion. I will say that he does still have that puppy behavior about him (i.e. when a puppy sees their owner they get really happy and start to wag their tails). He does that and then when he sees me, it's like he turns it off.
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sunflowers&curls
@Chelsey07
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Posted by Astrology101
Posted by Chelsey07
Posted by Astrology101
Well for me personally I'd have screamed at the guy for treating me the way he did and then moved on.

Cause there is no telling why he did what he did.
Oh trust me, I wanted to yell at him, but my best friend talked me out of it. I had played out scenarios of what I would say and I would feel myself getting angry. When I get angry, I start to cry.
Plus you are at work? so best not to create a scene.

I think you should move on.. You can ask him what was up his ass.. if he chooses to come around.
click to expand

I wouldn't make a scene, hence the reason why I tried to get him alone and talk to him about how I felt. And I'm slowly moving on. It just hurts you know?
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sunflowers&curls
@Chelsey07
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Posted by tiziani
Posted by Chelsey07
Posted by tiziani
Well, in all seriousness, it sounds like his mental health really isn't in a good place.
Could be it, but it's hard to think of the various reasons when you seem him HAPPILY interacting with everyone else BUT you. He's full of smiles and is talking like nothing is wrong, but me? No words to say, no emotion. I will say that he does still have that puppy behavior about him (i.e. when a puppy sees their owner they get really happy and start to wag their tails). He does that and then when he sees me, it's like he turns it off.
How was he acting before you both had sex?

Either he's unstable or a master con artist, but it's a lot of work to go through just to get some sex. There are easier ways if he really was faking it.

click to expand

He was so friendly and we became really close to each other. There was a lot of flirting and sexual tension between us. He was telling me that he was starting to have a crush on me and I told him the same. When he went dead silent on me the first time, I decided to ask him what was going on and that's when he told me he had lost his son a little over 3 months ago. I told him that I would be there for him and that he had my number if he needed to talk, a shoulder to cry on or whatever. I just wanted him to know that I cared (still do). He thanked me and we were fine. The sex just caused him to completely withdraw from me.
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sunflowers&curls
@Chelsey07
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Comments: 4 · Posts: 586 · Topics: 22
Posted by Astrology101
Posted by Chelsey07
Posted by Astrology101
Posted by Chelsey07
Posted by Astrology101
Well for me personally I'd have screamed at the guy for treating me the way he did and then moved on.

Cause there is no telling why he did what he did.
Oh trust me, I wanted to yell at him, but my best friend talked me out of it. I had played out scenarios of what I would say and I would feel myself getting angry. When I get angry, I start to cry.
Plus you are at work? so best not to create a scene.

I think you should move on.. You can ask him what was up his ass.. if he chooses to come around.
I wouldn't make a scene, hence the reason why I tried to get him alone and talk to him about how I felt. And I'm slowly moving on. It just hurts you know?


Chalk it up to experience.. Was the sex good?
click to expand

It was great. It was probably some of the best sex I had. He knew my body well. I'd want it constantly if he wasn't being so fucking weird towards me.
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sunflowers&curls
@Chelsey07
9 Years500+ Posts

Comments: 4 · Posts: 586 · Topics: 22
Posted by Astrology101
Posted by Chelsey07
Posted by Astrology101
Posted by Chelsey07
Posted by Astrology101
Well for me personally I'd have screamed at the guy for treating me the way he did and then moved on.

Cause there is no telling why he did what he did.
Oh trust me, I wanted to yell at him, but my best friend talked me out of it. I had played out scenarios of what I would say and I would feel myself getting angry. When I get angry, I start to cry.
Plus you are at work? so best not to create a scene.

I think you should move on.. You can ask him what was up his ass.. if he chooses to come around.
I wouldn't make a scene, hence the reason why I tried to get him alone and talk to him about how I felt. And I'm slowly moving on. It just hurts you know?


Chalk it up to experience.. Was the sex good?
click to expand

It was great. It was probably some of the best sex I've had. He knew my body well. I'd want it constantly if he weren't being so fucking weird towards me.
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sunflowers&curls
@Chelsey07
9 Years500+ Posts

Comments: 4 · Posts: 586 · Topics: 22
Posted by Astrology101
Posted by Chelsey07
Posted by Astrology101
Posted by Chelsey07
Posted by Astrology101
Posted by Chelsey07
Posted by Astrology101
Well for me personally I'd have screamed at the guy for treating me the way he did and then moved on.

Cause there is no telling why he did what he did.
Oh trust me, I wanted to yell at him, but my best friend talked me out of it. I had played out scenarios of what I would say and I would feel myself getting angry. When I get angry, I start to cry.
Plus you are at work? so best not to create a scene.

I think you should move on.. You can ask him what was up his ass.. if he chooses to come around.
I wouldn't make a scene, hence the reason why I tried to get him alone and talk to him about how I felt. And I'm slowly moving on. It just hurts you know?


Chalk it up to experience.. Was the sex good?
It was great. It was probably some of the best sex I had. He knew my body well. I'd want it constantly if he wasn't being so fucking weird towards me.


Ok I'm getting the feeling he is feeling guilty about something... which is why he's not talking to you.

I'd ignore him. Just go on like nothing happened. Laugh, be merry, make friends. And forget this guy exists.

click to expand



Maybe for playing me? He should be. So I should stop making small talk with him (i.e. he starts the conversations not me)? Wouldn't that come off as me feeling salty even though I am?
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sunflowers&curls
@Chelsey07
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Posted by Tom_Sawyer
Posted by Chelsey07
Posted by Tom_Sawyer
Oh dear..
Care to elaborate?
Could be anything really.

My guess is you saw the real person behind the mask - he didn't see it coming/underestimated the situation and now sees you as a threat.

Virgos are analytical to the max and if he believes you can expose him(in any way) wouldn't surprise me if at some point he would go after you.

You should probably get out of the situation and leave him be.
click to expand

Okay got it...in regards to come after me, do you mean violently? And I wouldn't dare do that to him. What benefit would I get from telling the world that he lost his only child? Or anything for that matter? We both agreed to be discreet about our situation, but this is ridiculous! Like you can't even talk to me anymore?!?! Don't you remember me? If I sound really distraught, it's because I am. I can't let him know that I care about him when he's pushed me away.
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sunflowers&curls
@Chelsey07
9 Years500+ Posts

Comments: 4 · Posts: 586 · Topics: 22
Posted by Tom_Sawyer
Posted by Chelsey07
Posted by Tom_Sawyer
Posted by Chelsey07
Posted by Tom_Sawyer
Oh dear..
Care to elaborate?
Could be anything really.

My guess is you saw the real person behind the mask - he didn't see it coming/underestimated the situation and now sees you as a threat.

Virgos are analytical to the max and if he believes you can expose him(in any way) wouldn't surprise me if at some point he would go after you.

You should probably get out of the situation and leave him be.
Okay got it...in regards to come after me, do you mean violently? And I wouldn't dare do that to him. What benefit would I get from telling the world that he lost his only child? Or anything for that matter? We both agreed to be discreet about our situation, but this is ridiculous! Like you can't even talk to me anymore?!?! Don't you remember me? If I sound really distraught, it's because I am. I can't let him know that I care about him when he's pushed me away.


If someone would attempt to dishonor me, I would come after them very violently.

But that's just me.

What would you benefit from telling the world that he lost his only child?

Nothing except for a possible enemy.

Most people don't seem to be very farsighted and in the heat of the moment/emotions get back at a person and end up regretting it when it's too late.

Maybe you should see it as a "pass" that he's ignoring you.

click to expand



Got it. You're making the blow easier and easier for me. It really hurts right now.
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sunflowers&curls
@Chelsey07
9 Years500+ Posts

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Posted by Tom_Sawyer
Posted by Chelsey07
Posted by Tom_Sawyer
Posted by Chelsey07
Posted by Tom_Sawyer
Posted by Chelsey07
Posted by Tom_Sawyer
Oh dear..
Care to elaborate?
Could be anything really.

My guess is you saw the real person behind the mask - he didn't see it coming/underestimated the situation and now sees you as a threat.

Virgos are analytical to the max and if he believes you can expose him(in any way) wouldn't surprise me if at some point he would go after you.

You should probably get out of the situation and leave him be.
Okay got it...in regards to come after me, do you mean violently? And I wouldn't dare do that to him. What benefit would I get from telling the world that he lost his only child? Or anything for that matter? We both agreed to be discreet about our situation, but this is ridiculous! Like you can't even talk to me anymore?!?! Don't you remember me? If I sound really distraught, it's because I am. I can't let him know that I care about him when he's pushed me away.


If someone would attempt to dishonor me, I would come after them very violently.

But that's just me.

What would you benefit from telling the world that he lost his only child?

Nothing except for a possible enemy.

Most people don't seem to be very farsighted and in the heat of the moment/emotions get back at a person and end up regretting it when it's too late.

Maybe you should see it as a "pass" that he's ignoring you.




Got it. You're making the blow easier and easier for me. It really hurts right now.


I imagine it does but most likely you dodged a nice caliber bullet.

Oh well, good day to be alive, darling.

click to expand



Thanks again!?
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DarkLoneWolf
@DarkLoneWolf
8 Years

Comments: 1 · Posts: 61 · Topics: 6
He lost his CHILD...

Ever think this has nothing to do with YOU?

Some people need to take their pride and shove it.

You saw his vulnerable side, and you didn't do a single thing to comfort him.

Of course he's going to stop talking to you. YOU made him think you don't give a F U C K.

If you actually showed some sympathy towards him, I am pretty certain things would have played out differently. He would start to be more trusting around you with his feelings.

As long as your pride is in the way, please move along.
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sunflowers&curls
@Chelsey07
9 Years500+ Posts

Comments: 4 · Posts: 586 · Topics: 22
Posted by Astrology101
Posted by Chelsey07
Posted by Astrology101
Posted by Chelsey07
Posted by Astrology101
Posted by Chelsey07
Posted by Astrology101
Posted by Chelsey07
Posted by Astrology101
Well for me personally I'd have screamed at the guy for treating me the way he did and then moved on.

Cause there is no telling why he did what he did.
Oh trust me, I wanted to yell at him, but my best friend talked me out of it. I had played out scenarios of what I would say and I would feel myself getting angry. When I get angry, I start to cry.
Plus you are at work? so best not to create a scene.

I think you should move on.. You can ask him what was up his ass.. if he chooses to come around.
I wouldn't make a scene, hence the reason why I tried to get him alone and talk to him about how I felt. And I'm slowly moving on. It just hurts you know?


Chalk it up to experience.. Was the sex good?
It was great. It was probably some of the best sex I had. He knew my body well. I'd want it constantly if he wasn't being so fucking weird towards me.


Ok I'm getting the feeling he is feeling guilty about something... which is why he's not talking to you.

I'd ignore him. Just go on like nothing happened. Laugh, be merry, make friends. And forget this guy exists.




Maybe for playing me? He should be. So I should stop making small talk with him (i.e. he starts the conversations not me)? Wouldn't that come off as me feeling salty even though I am?


So he is making small talk?

I thought you said he avoids you?

Next time when he comes to make "small talk" ask him why he is ignoring you.

After that he will leave you be....

And your story sounds inconsistent.
click to expand

You know what...you're right. My story is as inconsistent as his personality. I'll ask him why is he behaving that way.
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sunflowers&curls
@Chelsey07
9 Years500+ Posts

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Posted by DarkLoneWolf
He lost his CHILD...

Ever think this has nothing to do with YOU?

Some people need to take their pride and shove it.

You saw his vulnerable side, and you didn't do a single thing to comfort him.

Of course he's going to stop talking to you. YOU made him think you don't give a F U C K.

If you actually showed some sympathy towards him, I am pretty certain things would have played out differently. He would start to be more trusting around you with his feelings.

As long as your pride is in the way, please move along.


You sound like my best friend. I offered sympathy before I even caught him crying and he turned it down. I asked him repeatedly if he wanted to talk, if he needed a hug and he said no. THEN, the following day is when I caught him crying. Should I have went to console him? Sure. Would he have accepted it? No. It would've pushed him further away due to him liking to be alone.

So the not giving a fuck part is a lie. I care a lot for him, but I can't force him to accept my sympathy/love.
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sunflowers&curls
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Posted by Stensco21
Virgos always do this. If they feel things are moving to fast. They take things really really slow. Act nonchalant w him and don't let him sense your pining for him. Let him come to you by being polite and friendly
That's what I've been doing and it seems to be working, but I wish he would be upfront with me. I feel it's so childish that I have to lure him in like some wild animal instead of him saying "Hey, this, this and this is bothering me and I'm sorry that I started acting funny towards you after we had sex." Simple stuff.
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Stensco21
@Stensco21
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Posted by Chelsey07
Posted by Stensco21
Virgos always do this. If they feel things are moving to fast. They take things really really slow. Act nonchalant w him and don't let him sense your pining for him. Let him come to you by being polite and friendly
That's what I've been doing and it seems to be working, but I wish he would be upfront with me. I feel it's so childish that I have to lure him in like some wild animal instead of him saying "Hey, this, this and this is bothering me and I'm sorry that I started acting funny towards you after we had sex." Simple stuff.
click to expand

That's what he wants. I have Capricorn Rising and Virgo dudes flock toward me so I've had three Virgo bf. If they get to close or overly emotional about you they back away and go into a shell and if they come back out they go in baby steps and hope you go at a slower pace then the first time. Even y'all did it he prb can't emotionally process it moving that fast no matter how much he enjoyed it
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sunflowers&curls
@Chelsey07
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Posted by Stensco21
Posted by Chelsey07
Posted by Stensco21
Virgos always do this. If they feel things are moving to fast. They take things really really slow. Act nonchalant w him and don't let him sense your pining for him. Let him come to you by being polite and friendly
That's what I've been doing and it seems to be working, but I wish he would be upfront with me. I feel it's so childish that I have to lure him in like some wild animal instead of him saying "Hey, this, this and this is bothering me and I'm sorry that I started acting funny towards you after we had sex." Simple stuff.
That's what he wants. I have Capricorn Rising and Virgo dudes flock toward me so I've had three Virgo bf. If they get to close or overly emotional about you they back away and go into a shell and if they come back out they go in baby steps and hope you go at a slower pace then the first time. Even y'all did it he prb can't emotionally process it moving that fast no matter how much he enjoyed it
click to expand



Okay. That makes total sense. I'm gonna add a little more backstory:

The last 2 days is the closest we've been in a second and he called me "baby" but he thought I didn't hear him. Today, I was in a pretty shitty mood because my job is high stress and he tried to comfort me, but his idea of "comfort" is to have sex and when I declined, he started drifting away from me again.

It's starting to sound like he only wanted the sex and used his son as a pawn. Or does that still show that I don't give a f u c k about his feelings @DarkLoneWolf ?
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sunflowers&curls
@Chelsey07
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Posted by greylatern
Keep in mind I created a account just to respond to your question.

The answer is simple. He is a emotional reck and doesn't want to bring you into it. However the connection with you does bring him comfort but he knows it is unfair to you. So he is fighting himself.
I'm glad I decided to look at my post again and saw this because I think you're right. A few days ago, he finally pulled me to the side and we had "that talk" that I had been wanting for the longest. This time, his apology seemed more sincere and he told me more than I was expecting. He did in fact tell me that he thinks he's "losing it" (his mind that is) and that he didn't mean to make me feel like I was just a piece of ass to him and that he enjoys the time we spend together in and out of his bed. I told him I did too and then I started grilling him about his behavior. He said the exact same thing you did: that he didn't want me to be dragged into his fucked up grieving process, but how am I not getting dragged in when I care about him?

This is the closest I ever felt to him and it felt good. He started showing me pictures of him and his son, videos of him at his grave and the part where I seen him get extremely emotional..his grandchildren. He started yelling "I don't know what to do with children! I haven't done this shit since my son was a kid! I'm starting all over again and..." and his voice trailed off. I tried to hold him, but he wouldn't let me. I think that was my Cancer moon coming out, but I wish he wouldn't hold himself back from me. I don't want to keep playing keep away just to reel him back in.
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sunflowers&curls
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Posted by P-Angel
jfc



The man can't even breathe with you ......



There's no hope for this to come to anything of value ... due to you smothering the fuck out of it.
@P-Angel Well, aren't you a ray of sunshine.?

You're saying I'm smothering him? I think I give him plenty of space and I've never pressured him to talk to me when he didn't want to. I kinda have what I call an "open door policy" where I allow you to talk to me whenever you're ready and that's not just for him, I use that on everyone that I'm close to and it works.