Virgo man wants mad over disappointment

background:
This morning he texts, "I know you are pissed at me"
It was early in the morning, I wasn't awake, let alone ready for that so I responded truthfully,
"not sure how you want me to respond"
Virgo man responds with, "you don't have to say anything". So I thought, good. and responded, "Ok, have a blessed day"

Was I mad?
Not hard to pick up when I feel slighted. I am a cancer. I shut down, go into my shell, lick my wounds and stay there.
I won't lash out, yell, fight nor do I feel obligated to let every thought out. I answer questions but with the shortest word possible. lol Fine could fit many situations.

He calls near end of day, upset that I hadn't reached out to him all day.
I told him I'd rather wait until I had privacy to talk
That talk came later in the evening. He called again.

Before I shared my feelings. I asked him why he thought I was upset and what he thought I was upset about.
I wanted to know what he thought.

The two of us arguing is like two people having a conversation about flowers - its that subdued.
And not that I need high emotions and yelling, I don't. But if my mom saw that, I am sure she would laugh because her way of being upset is the full flair. I want him to be a little vocal. He is not. He is calm. And I'll be dammed if I will look like the irrational one! I have to work at staying calm. It does not come easy to me.

Sure, it took me most of the afternoon to get with myself and make sure I could express what bothered me. And to do that concisely and not ramble and mostly not get emotional, but no way does he need to know that.
Knowing virgo's don't do emotions very well I wanted to be clear, but mostly it was for me -- I don't need to be shedding tears, cause then I ramble and then I feel stupid the next day. I used to do that when I was younger. Now, I want to be in control of me.

So I took an hour and wrote out what was bothering me, I narrowed it down to one thing and then I went about my evening.

At the end of the conversation he ended with, I'd rather have you mad at me than disappointed. Because I told him I was never pissed at him. I was disappointed. Its true.
That bothered him, abnormally more than what I thought it would. He put himself down. Described himself as "I know, I am horrible"

What he did wasn't horrible. Not even close. I wouldn't be with him if he was a horrible person. Such a strong word to use. I'd use neglectful not horrible.
It was mostly long distance rela

rest...
It was mostly long distance relationship issues.

Not sure why he put himself down. And not sure why he said he would rather have me mad.

And in the end. A few hours now since. I realize that again there was nothing concrete that got accomplished. Yes, the cancer in me is like, ok, what was accomplished by all of that?

He agreed with me and he didn't get upset. I should be content.
But no, I'd much rather have a full clearing of the air and get things settled.
lol
Perhaps he is off thinking about it like I am? Perhaps he pushed it aside and hasn't given it a thought since.
I don't know. I do know this, the cool as a cucumber virgo is annoying.

He did remember my birthday though. I had wondered if he would. So he gets some points for that.

he has awareness and does make effort. He really is a good guy and he does show he cares about me. He has never said, that's just the way I am.

About as close to that as he goes, is "we virgo's are like that" but only when talking about another Virgo.

lol yeah. I really am not a blow up type of person. I am more of the culinary artist who can carve out the word "as*" in a watermelon while you stand there talking. I don't need to blow up to express myself, but if I ever do get angry, I do knowing its done and final after I finish.

In the last relationship I was in, I got angry once. It was 6 months in. It was the first and only time. I ended that relationship and never looked back. I never sought him out or wondered about his feelings.
3 months later that guy finally got the courage to reach out to me. lol His words were. "I was never afraid of you getting mad at me, even though you daughter did warn me. But you are like a machine gun off the side of a military ship, you aim and don't miss when you shoot.

I had to laugh. What a great metaphor, I thought. He is right. It does take me a long time, but when I do, I have the natural skills to cut quick and deep. And nope, never once considered taking him back. I was done the day he pissed me off.

This virgo guy has never made me angry. He can annoy me, and he has disappointed me, but to say I've been irate. No, never.

lol should add "cut with words", not actual knives and violence.

lol @ the arguments being like arguing over flowers. that wont last, enjoy it now.

@CC perhaps the question is why not disappointment. Why mad.
lol I am so much a cancer that I had an astrologer (I met while on the job) come up to me and look me in the face. She said," wow, I've never seen a chart so much in cancer as yours"
At that time I was like, ok, you are weird and I walked away. I was there for work. But now, I wish I would have 5 minutes with her to explain that to me. lol That was 5 years ago.

@hungvirgo - thanks! I do hope to continue with this virgo to the point that I can get a rise out of him. If that ever happens, picture me blowing the hair off my face and feeling accomplished. lol

yes, it's complaining


complaining because the Virgo talks to her rationally, instead of blowing up uncontrollably .....


.. no matter what the women gets, she's never pleased