Virgo man--what should I do?

I broke up with my past virgo man that had been frustrating me in June and met another (whaddyaknow) virgo man shortly after. This virgo guy was so different! He was sweet, affectionate, attentive and pursued me non stop. This was back in July. Then we became committed to each other in August--we spent almost every single day together and we had our conflicts because we are two different people and while similar on some fronts we are unalike in others. Well the summer passed and his best friend who is a female returned to the country. They are extremly close and she took charge of everything in his life--she even got along very well with his family. I must admit i was jealous of that but what made me upset was the way she seemed not to know the boundaries with him--she was always all over him and she had a know it all attitude when it came unto to him. Suffice it to say i felt more like the third wheel than the gf and she was very rude to me not even making an effort to be friendly. Now during this time she let my bf know that displays of affection between us made her feel uncomfortable so my bf proceeded to not show me any affection when she was around--of course that made me upset because while i dont expect him to be all PDA with me his affection towards me shouldnt be dependent on her feelings. Abyway i found her to be a demanding person--demanding all his attention, time, energy and she just was a permanent fixture in his life. She even began to openly express her opinions about our rel as if it was any of her business. Now what i did wrong was to allow this to threaten and damage my rel with him but i felt somewhat betrayed because he gave in to her and put me last. I felt that i did not deserve that. I did handle it wrong and i broke it off with him several times in a huff. Seeing the error of my ways after the last and final time i ended i decided that i would not allow this to affect me and my rel with him. By this time he was so tired and wrung up about me leaving him that he was hurt and became distant. Even though we got back together it was not the same because he was still hurting. He just recently said he forgave me--he has a scorp moon so you can understand how he held unto that grudge. During this time he became extremely busy trying to make ends meet and now over the past few weeks he's been saying things like "i dont want to hurt you anymore" "you're not happy" "my rel with you is sideline to all my other issues right now" contd below

"i have nothing to give right now" --he's been extremely hurt and emotionally abused in his past and he oscillates in and out of extreme moods--one day he's ok and the next he's just so withdrawn and moody. He says he loves me and he wants to be with me. What should i do in this situation?? P-Angel boy do i need your cutting and direct advice!

maybe because he was so emotionally damaged he allows this friend of his to take control. maybe this friend knows all about his past and is overly protective of him. she may also be part of the cause. she sounds like a strong woman that can take the reigns. ppl sense these things in others.

this reminds me of a conversation i had with a male friend of mine. he told me a story about this girl he knew who allowed her bf to control her and not because she was willing. he said that she was fairly weak emotionally. afterward it made me reflect on my own interactions and relationships with men and i realized that i have never attracted men who would treat me poorly (minus my first bf. he wasn't mean to me per se but he was a pathological liar and a cheater. i only disregard cuz we were teenagers.). i asked him why he thought this was and he said it was because i am strong. a man who is prone to control issues over women tend to pick out the weak ones to perpetuate their behavior. a man with controlling tendencies probably sense that i am not one to be manipulated or taken advantage of upon meeting.

i can't tell u what the problem is. only he can tell u that. it does seem to me that u guys should take a step back and be friends. even if he is "damaged goods" that doesn't mean ur feelings don't matter either. we can still love others and want them to be with us but sometimes the timing is off. i think he's hinting that he needs u to leave him for now. all that "u shouldn't be with me" and "i have nothing to give" stuff should be clear enough. he's looking for a way out but is probably too emotionally weak to break it off himself. show ur strength and be there for him while not having to BE with him.

Posted by Lissanth

She even began to openly express her opinions about our rel as if it was any of her business. Now what i did wrong was to allow this to threaten and damage my rel with him but i felt somewhat betrayed because he gave in to her and put me last

Now during this time she let my bf know that displays of affection between us made her feel uncomfortable so my bf proceeded to not show me any affection when she was around

looks to me that he is into her.. his best friend as you say.
no other reason as to why he would do that to you.

now over the past few weeks he's been saying things like "i dont want to hurt you anymore" "you're not happy" "my rel with you is sideline to all my other issues right now" "i have nothing to give right now"

click to expand

from what it looks like, he doesnt wanna hurt you anymore, and he has nothing to give you right now.
he said it right there...

btw... did he say "he loves you and he wants to be with you" before or after this last quote? ^^^
if he said after, then give him space and let him resolve his issues first.
if he said before, then I'm not sure but looks like he's not into you anymore.

Thanks Ninjamu and Imagination for replying! Imagination---he said he loves and wants to be with me before and after he said the bit about hurting me etc. He's bipolar and struggles constantly with his moods though he's on meds now but that still makes him moody. I think that he does need space but what i am scared about is space may be a finality. I dont really know--i am considering all angles--and that means that i struggle with being his friend but that will hurt because i want more and being around him will be painful, cutting him out of my life will also be painful and that will be final. I just want to know if i should stick this out because it's a rough patch with him and he wants me to be there for him without placing any demands on him.

He sounds like a pussy and you keep him that way through all of this on and off crap.

If he's your man, that other woman has NO say in his life. You messed up by not making that clear and tolerating her.

So true Cajun! So true--well the next man i date who has a similar situ--i am running for the hills!!!!!