Virgo Men

I'm currently dating a Virgo man, and was hoping for some advice. He can be really sweet and affectionate, and i do like him a lot. Having read some of the other threads on this board, I get the feeling that virgo men need space and time! The trouble is, I can be really flippant about feelings and stuff (must be be my Gemini moon!!) and I'm wondering if this will bug him (he has a scorpio moon)and he'll get fed up. Wondered if anyone had any views on this. We get on well in other respects, and can't get enough of each other in the bedroom 😉I'm a taurus by the way.

Hello to you Copperhead....and welcome:-)
Just a quicky response.....I'm aquarius with ascendent gemini!! and my virgo guy of 3 years had a scorpio moon & ascendant!!! - so we have kind of similarities.......
Golden Rule...never ever, ever in your life:-) be flippant or dismissive when these guys want to share or talk about feelings (and they do big time)......they are passionate, speak from the heart, and speak the truth.
Me being aquairus felt uneasy and uncomfortable and quite flippant and dismissive when it was "heart" time, i'd even have to look away fromm his eyes it got so intense at times!!!! This was my way of trying to diffuse the feeling talk and dampen down the love heights!!! I know I hurt him to the core with some of the things I said....to this day he can recite like a parrot all the "flippancies" I uttered - we are now "forever friends" - but I won't have him as my exclusive lover.....

Good luck with your virgo guy Copperhead ..... (like the name!!!)
Alana x

Thanks for the advice Alana!! We haven't got to the talk about feelings stage as yet, but when we do, I'll know not to diffuse the situation with humour as I normally do! He's so quiet and the way he looks at me sometimes makes me blush!!! But he does say the sweetest things when I'm least expecting it, which is really cool! We've been kind of seeing each other since December and I'm not sure whether to ask him how he feels or whether to just leave it for him to bring up. I know he's been hurt badly by his last girlfriend, who was seeing someone else without telling him and then moved away. He saw her last time we were out together, and I asked him why he didn't speak to her, and he just said, 'because I was with you.' Bless!

In response to what Alana said,

How do you ever get your Virgo man to talk about his feelings? I've been seeing mine for almost 8 months now & it's extremely rare that he'll tell me anything about how he feels about us. He's extremely open about his job, his feelings about anything, other than me. I'm learning to read him well I think & can even tell what kind of mood he is in after him speaking 3 words to me on the phone.

Just curious - sorry don't mean to try to steal the spotlight.

My virgo man seems very critical of people, & can sometimes be downright rude. Is this also a characteristic of them? He also has no patience with much of anything.

Thanks

Help 66 🙂

My Virgo isn't so much detached, just seems disinterested most of the time. When I ask him about it, he says he isn't disinterested he's just thinking (!). It is like getting blood from a stone though, getting him to talk about his feelings about me, although he does try if I ask him. He also has this weird habit of telling me things about exes that I really don't want to know!! I mean, to me it's all in the past, but to hear that he's slept with a friend of his didn't make me feel better!!! Are they always this insensitive?! Why did I need to know?!! Strange guy!

Hi copperhead,

I'm an aries, virgo Asc. I am currently dating a double virgo (virgo with virgo Asc). I've also dated 2 other virgos in the past and I have had some of the same experiences you have had.

Some virgos are extremely expressive about their feelings- others are not. Some will shout that they love you from mountain tops, others will want you show their love through quiet action and hope that you "notice" them. What has been most consistent through all of my experience has been time and patience.. and virgos are a slow burn.

If he's talking about his exes, just be honest. Tell him you don't wanna hear about it.. it's annoying.

IMHO, most of you read here will not help you as much as your own instincts. You may learn about the "nature" of Virgos but, none of it will tell you what to do.. how to feel.. when to stay.. when to cut your loses.

I'd say, know how you want to be loved, know that this relationship will probably challenge you, and understand a lot about yourself and your needs before venturing out and trying to understand someone else.

Thanks for all your advice. Nice to know I'm not the only one who thinks they are slightly weird! I think I'll just see how things go, he always seems pretty keen to see me, like arranging another date when we're still halfway through the current one, which is quite sweet! And after being bowled over by the charms of a Gem, it's quite nice to sit and enjoy quiet time with this Virgo 🙂!!! It's kinda weird as well, the way we'll be thinking about the same things at the same time. Maybe that's because we're both earth signs, I don't know!

Virgo knows what you are thinking, he can see/feel you vibrating from across the room,
I swear it's like a 6th sense. Virgos are like tuning forks, they can feel you resonating through walls, their goal is to tune you like an instrument so all the noise will stop. The noise is chaos and self degredation, leading to death. It's your brain waves. He can try and tune you by giving you emotional bursts which cause a more harmonic resonance, thus leading to completeness over self collapse. He will be the first to pick up on it if you are not feeling well, as he will be dissapointed that all the work he has done on guiding you toward a more pleasent death has been tarnished by your lack of positivity / awareness and forsight. He doesnt think about
what he wants to do while he is with you, he does that mostly in the last few minutes before he goes to sleep / first few minutes when he wakes up. While I am with people I am guiding them somewhere, by altering their 'outlook' I would say. I just started typing more, but I got a pain in my innards so I stopped. Some secrets can't be explained I guess, but it would do virgo good if you'd PAY ATTENTION. Not to us, but to the people around you. And watch what you say to each other, because the butterfly affect could be used for something that would just be insane. That might just be why we're so busy all the time, no? But hey, everyone else gets to have sex, and we know you inside and out. 😉

- Edison83

Copperhead,

My experience with a Virgo (24 years) is similiar to all mentioned here, for in this time frame, I've seen every side of him. I think the biggest problem is in just understanding their nature. Everything to them has to have order, there can be no chaos and that includes thier feelings. That is why he is already planning the next encounter. Their thoughts cannot be scattered, or they think they will explode. Unfortunately, this means their feelings, as well. It's not that they don't feel, on the contrary, they are very deep people, alot of insight and very intuitive - but, expressing emotions and feelings verbally when it comes to anything that might effect their heart - is forbidden. They will talk about anything, all day long, if you get them going. But, feelings for you, he probably won't talk about because it makes him feel vulnerable. We all need a place to hide and this is Virgo's place. If he spills the beans, then your response might not be organized, might not be controlled, might not be logical - his head will explode at that point. Listen to some of the Virgo's talk in these threads and you will see that everything has a solution, nothing can left to chance. Self preservation is in warding off anything unpredictable.

My Virgo knows me well enough that he has learned to talk about his emotions because I won't have it any other way (I'm a Pisces) because living out my feelings is the only way I know how to exist. But, it took years and years and years and years and years and years - and then more years, to get him to fully trust that I can handle his openess without turning his world upside down.

If you want to be with this man, which is a great match for a Taurus, then you have to back off a little and not press him about how he feels for you. If you push him, he will walk away. And not because he doesn't want to be with you, but because if you push him into exposing his inner feelings, then to him, you are putting him in danger of facing his worse fear - to face the fact that he feels. That is their worst fear. They will face anything else with gonnads the size of Texas - but, not the fact that they feel. Order, structure and practicality is the only thing they think is essential to function in this world.

Knowing that your Virgo wants to be with you will come in other ways, like remembering important dates and events, always considering what you want, or don't want. They are servants to your needs and desires and by showing you that he cares enough to acknowledge these things is his way of saying "I love you with all my heart, and will stick by you through thick and thin."

Hi Alana, sexy you! Wish I could spend a week-end drinking wine with you. Maybe in the summer........

SeizeTheDay: Although in general I think that you are very very "smart" and "insightfull", I respect your mind, I love your posts, etc, you are wrong here. Listen to Alana! Telling a Virgo male to shut up, a major no-no! End of story.......

Copperhead: The love of my life was a Taurus. I married her too. I understand exactly what your love interest is doing, as I've done the same thing myself. My ex-wife always complained about me talking about my ex, she tought I still have feelings for her, she even went as far as to destroy her love letters to me(which by the way, she regrets, even now!)
The truth: He is telling you about his past experiences, NOT because he is insecure, etc, but because he really CARES about you! His analytical mind decided that he wants a long term thing with you, and that he DOES NOT WANT TO REPEAT THE SAME MISTAKES AGAIN. For Chist sake, stop being so insecure and jealous, and LISTEN to the message!.

I am someone who strives to cultivate relationships that are not unconscious replicas of previous paradigms. But, one thing I?ve learned in life is that people can say a lot of things, about what they?re looking for, or what they believe etc., but the proof is always in the pudding. That is, you really find out whom and what you?re dealing with by the way someone behaves, especially by how they deal with discomfort and stress.Bet your Virgo is the same way.........

Conclusion: Taurus and Virgo is a great match, especially for younger Virgo's, and for the September born. August born Virgo's ,like myself, need different things.........

Branh: Have you ever had a Taurus lover tell you to leave the bathroom door open, because she wants to see you pee?. As a matter of fact did you ever have a Taurus girl help you pee?

Have you ever in your life been loved by a Taurus girl? Did you have a Taurus girl ever, ask you to marry her on your way to the gym? Did you marry a Taurus girl? Did you love a taurus girl with all your heart?

I rest my case........

Branh: First of all , you have to understand a few basic concepts. I love you!

But , also I've been there, I've done that......

I have zero interest in engaging in "hostile" posts.......

You have much to learn, much to suffer, and much to grow.....

This is not a contest...........

Branh: Relationships ARE very complicated. I respect your tactfulness.........

I am learning more and more everyday about a Virgo man. These message boards do help me understand alot more about them. I am a Sag women and I have been dating a Virgo man. He was always very kind to me until he backed off. Well, this past weekend he came over and we talked basically all night long. I told him how I felt. I told him that I'm not sure if I love him because I don't know him well enough but, that I do know when I wake up that I think about him and when I go to bed I think about him and in between I think about him. He looked at me with so much compassion in his eyes and said, "thank you, I needed to hear that" and kissed me like he has never kissed me before. He also told me that he was afraid of not being good enough for me and that is why he backed off. I told him all I needed was him to be there and care about me and let me be there and care for him. The next night he called me to ask if he could come over and cuddle with me. I told him yes and we did. It was a wonderful weekend and I hope it is a forward move in our relationship. He even texted me last night just to say good night. (Which means alot to me) Well, I thank everyone for their thoughts and opinions on these boards.

Sweethearts 1969,

What you did with your man, meant more than maybe you even realize. Virgo's, especially the males are worry worts by nature. And this is mainly because they want to be everything they can be and for you to know with all your heart that they will be the right person for you - they will worry about this. So, by being honest with him and telling him that you don't know if you're in love with him, but, that he is always in your thoughts, was exactly what he needed to know that you are worthy of his trust.

Rock on, girl - you're life with him will be wonderful. They are awesome men.

P-Angel

Thank you for saying that. I hope it was the right thing to do. I meant everything I said to him and it was hard for me to express my feelings because I was so afraid of being rejected. He is a wonderful man and I want to be with him so, I felt that I have only him to loose by not telling him how I feel. I just hope he doesn't back off again. I guess only time will tell.

Well, guess what? My Virgo male backed off again. I'm not sure why again. It lasted until March 2. I met up with him at the pool tournament and he was there early. I could tell he was in a bad mood. Two days before this we went and shot pool together and he was happy with me and he even shouted out to someone that that is my girlfriend. The next day I know he was going to see his kids and go to dinner. He was having an old female friend take him because his car didn't work. I knew about this before hand and I was OK with it because he was being honest with me. Then, the next night I saw him and asked how it went and he said that he got stuck until about 10:30pm and he yelled at his daughter and made her cry. He said he felt like such a bad father. I asked him how he got stuck and he hesitated to tell me that it was his female friend's car that broke down. I told him that he already told me who he was going with so, why were you trying to avoid telling me. He said he was afraid I would be upset like his ex-girlfriend always did because he was around another female friend. I told him I don't care as long as you don't try to lie to me about it. He said he forgot he told me that he was going with her. I told him the only time we would have a problem is if you lie to me about things or try to hide. After that he started to avoid me. I went up to him to try and talk to him and I asked if he was avoiding me and he said he was avoiding everyone. He didn't play in the tournament. I did though. He did hang around and was BSing with everyone but, he didn't seem to want to talk to me. A female friend of his asked me what was going on. I told her I don't know except he is acting like I don't even exist. She tells me she will talk to him and that it was probably about his ex. I told her not too and she did. Then she asks me if he talked to me and I said no. After about 3 hours of being there I decided to leave because he was acting like I wasn't even there anyways and I was done with the tournament. I guess I should of said bye but, I was a little hurt and upset. He did see me leave but, I didn't know what to say to him since he basically ignored me when I was there. Well, stupid me decided to text him when I got home and said thanks for acting like I didn't exist. He text back about an hour later and said that I reminded him of his ex-girlfriend and that if I would of stuck around I would of found out what was wrong. Well, I texted him back and asked what was wrong and he never texted back. I texted him the next day and he said he was done talking with me. I asked him what was going on and he said "with us nothing" I asked him to please let me know what all this means and he said he wants to be left alone. Well, I haven't heard from him since. I text him once and told him that is wasn't a good thing if I remind you of your ex-girlfriend and that apparently no matter what I do it isn't good enough for you. I told him sorry and that I will leave him alone. I never got a response and I haven't seem him in a week and half. He didn't even show up to the pool tournament like he does every week. I'm thinking it's because he doesn't want to talk to me. I still don't know what I did that was so bad that he had to shut me out completely of his life. I know he was having a hard time that night and I did try to be there but, he didn't want me too. We had a great couple of weeks before this and everything was going so well. I thought we were heading into a more serious relationship and then this happened and nothing. Any advice from a Virgo male would be appreciated.

Well I'm not a Virgo male, but I have a Virgo male in my life who sometimes acts juvenile like yours.

When mine acts like what you've described, I leave him alone. Normally he won't let 2 days go by without a call or an e mail & that's fine. I just back off. Virgos need their space.

He is probably not mad at you like you say. They just get what I call 'weird' at times. Maybe this is his weird time.

Help66:

I have experience this before with him but, it has never lasted this long without even seeing him. I don't want to call or go to his house because I'm afraid that he won't even answer or open his door. I usually see him out and about but, not this time. His friend told me at the pool tournament last week that my Virgo male said to him that I was a "keeper" because I had my life together. Well, I think to myself that if he told his that and meant it then, why didn't he keep me, why did he just ignore me. His friend also told me that he thinks that my Virgo male is going through changes right now and that he knows that if he is with me that it would change his life and that he couldn't do some of the things that he likes to do (meaning being childish or going to after hour parties). He's in his 30's and acts like he is in his 20's sometimes. His friend told me to be patient and let him figure it out because he wants to be with me but, he also knows he has to change his life style and his friend has been seeing a change in him lately (since he met me) but, he is not there yet and that I need to give him time. Well, how much time do I give him or do I? I know how I feel but, I am getting so drained about not knowing how he feels. I won't date anyone else until I talk with him and know for sure what is going on and I really don't want to date anyone else, just him.

Well as I said I am not a virgo male & I'm far from a Virgo expert.

You ask how much time does it take? Virgos get in no great hurry at all to do much of anything. They think & analyze things to death.

I'm sure he does like you a lot. But any type of change or commitment in their lives seem to scare them. And as far as finding out how he really feels. Ever try to get blood out of a turnip? You'd probably have better luck doing that then trying to get a Virgo to tell his feelings.

This is my 2 cents..I certainly don't speak for all Virgo men, just the 1 I know & love 🙂

But any type of change or commitment in their lives seem to scare them

Pretty much. My feeling is he is somewhat attracted to the female friend and is conflicted. He might be battling himself on what to do.

I just want to add, you should do nothing for two weeks. If you haven't heard from him in two weeks, decide if he is worth it.

Virgo men seem to have the worse time with commitment especially if they are born towards the end of the sign.

about a month ago I wrote on here about my virgo male,I told him what I wanted from our relationship (he kept spending less and less time with me)and it totally pushed him away..I couldn't believe it.

well any I end up breaking our no contact with in days and threw my self on his mercy...the first few weeks were strained after that,the next two he was like another person..all the while though I was biting my lip and not complaining over the scraps he was throwing at me.

but just yesterday did what sweethearts man did...he acted like he didn't know me infront of people..we were talking and as soon as people we knew came in the picture he devoted his attention to them in mid sentence..I was livid.

so I called him..he didn't return my call..I got pissed and drove to see him...very stalkerish of me I know. I asked what the deal was and he acted like he had no idea what I was talking about..I said you know just be honest..is it that hard,we don't have to see each other...he said no. but claims he has no idea he was ignoring me.

so anyway Ileave and get home and theres a letter in my e-mail with a explaination....guess he had to give it thought..but then it went on in meaningless stuff.

truely virgo men are a mystery to me.

I usually read horoscopes for entertainment purposes, until I started looking for answers to things I just couldnt explain or understand. Anyways I just read that Mercury is in retrograde "whatever" but that all communications will be disasterious and non efficient, starting March 2 and lasting until March 25th. My virgos last correspondance was on the 3rd of March someone else said that they last heard from theres on the 2nd..... hmmmmmmmm kind of freaky!!! or what......

I think I'm done with my Virgo Male. I'm tired, drained, and I deserve more respect than he has given me. I don't remember the last time I have let someone into my heart before and now I know why. It really hurts when he doesn't feel the same. I think he is so wrapped up in his life that has nothing to do with me that he needs to figure it out and I can not stand by and keep getting hurt over him. I will not keep letting him ignore me when he is having a bad day or if something goes wrong in his life. I'm a good women and I deserve more. No matter how much I care about him, I will let him go because I will adventurally resent him and I don't want to do that. I wish him the best of luck in his life and I hope he finds happiness. Good luck to all of you with your Virgo's. I just know I need stability and respect and the push/pull thing will not work for me anymore.

I am a scorpio woman, age 41. I am secure, attractive, intelligent, and have been dating a virgo male (who is also younger than me) for . . 2 months. I'm bored already. Any inconsistencies make scorpios raise an eyebrow. At first this Virgo guys seemed difficult to reach, kinda closed. Then he came around and I decided I would give him a second chance. . we had a great time, spent more time together, he started talking and really opening up, the sex was great. This past Monday and Tuesday he spent the night with me, I cooked, we had a great time. I'm very affectionate, so I know he feels "warm and cozy" when he's with me. But guess what.. I haven't heard from him since he left my house Wednesday morning for work. Who has time for the rollercoaster ride. . So, he'll have a surprise when he tries to come back which he always does.. leaves me hanging then calls a couple days later. But like I said I'm bored with this, I'm not pressed, don't have to be, and to me this is just immature.

I think the problem is these men just aren't in love.

virgogotme, wen i red ur post u so snatched my feelings about a certain virgodud as we speak. sparrow, i agree that wood have to be the only explanation but then again i have to say its just a matter of common courtesy..moreso if u have a deep or somewhat close relationship, not an obligation necessarily..but at least a mannerable of token of letting someone no u Wont be available..