Virgo Men = Heaven . . . Well Almost.

Soo...my Virgo and I have been in pure heaven! 🙂

We have been spending so much time together. We spent all weekend together this past weekend. We are both on vacation right now, so he came back over on Tuesday and stayed until last night. He invited me to go with him to some sort of Game Night on Saturday that a few members of his church is throwing. When I am with him, I am so happy. Although, we have only been dating a for about a month, it feels as though we have known each other forever.

Last night I could tell that he did not want to leave, but had to because he has some things that he has to tend to at his house. I have never experienced this type of bond. Especially not this soon. It's almost as though he can't get enough of me, and of course, I feel the EXACT same way. We feel completely comfortable around one another. We sometimes have really good convos but also feel completely comfortable not saying one word to each other. This week we did not do anything special — watched movies, went grocery shopping, cooked, walked to the beach (I live 1 block away form the beach), went to the gym, went to the mall??_.little things like that. But it was so much fun!

I assume that he enjoys spending time with me. Virgo men do not strike me as men who do anything that they do not want to do. So, for him to initiate spending some much time together, I assume it is b/c he enjoys being with me.

Hmm.. I just hope that things will continue to grow and flourish. **Sigh**

"And this is only the beginning. Wait until times passes by, it just gets so much better."

I hope this is the case for us!

"Astrologically speaking, the only minus I find between virgo-scorpio relationships is in the communication aspect."

What type of problems have you experienced as far as communication?

Thanks hikoro for sharing. Yes, that makes complete sense. I am overly analytical and have a habit of analyzing entirely too much.

Well. Maybe I spoke too soon about my virguy. As I mentioned in the previous post, he invited me to a game night that his church is throwing tonight. He just texted me while in church (he's seven day adventist and goes to church on saturdays) and said that game night might be cancelled bc they got a new pastor who is fairly young and many of the younger members of the chruch (25~34) were talking about not going to game night and instead hanging out with the new pastor. So, I asked him if he was going to hang out with the pastor. He said that he doesn't know and that he is a little torn. I responded by asking him what he is torn about. As of right now, he has not responded. That was about 5 mins ago. If he hangs out with the pastor, I have a strong feeling that he will not invite me bc although I am christian (like him) I am not 7th day adventist and being around the pastor might be a little weird/awkard.

I am completely assuming, but what else could he be torn about. Furthermore, what's the diff between me mtg his friends from church vs. his friends and pastor from church. I always follow the notion that if a man wants to be with you....he will. Regardless of the situation. Furthermore, if we are going to get serious (marriage) I will altimatelty have to become 7th day as well. Which I don't have a problem with. But I do have a very large problem with what I think is going to happen and that is him backing out of our plans! I could see breaking plans for an emergency but over something like this....this early on?!?

He just called me from church. We really didn't talk long. There was a bunch of noise in his background and people tallking to him while he was on the phone. I told him that he is more than welcome to call me back when he gets in the car so he can socialize with his fellow church members. He agreed. We did not get a chance to talk about tonight.

I do not want to get in the way of his religion or his spirituality at all. I just hope that he does not break plans with me tonight. To me, that would indicate that he is not into me like I thought and obviously prove to be majorly disappointing. Besides, I would love to meet his new pastor.

Okay I admit I'm overthinknig things by bringing up marriage. But if he does back out of plans tonight that would not be cool. People breaking their word is one of mt pet peeves. Besides as I said before, it would indicate his level of interest. Or should I say, lack of interest.

Btw, he still has not called me back. Its been over an hour.

Like I said, I spoke too soon. Virguy broke plans with me. He called me and said that he decided to go to his pastor's house. I am assuming he did not feel comfortable inviting me bc i am not 7th day.

I surprised myself by my reaction. In my previous relationship, I would not get upset (at least I did not allow my ex to know I was upset). I always tried to appear cool and calm. I alwys bit my tongue. This bit my in the behind later...bc I had set no boundries. Well, I did not do that this time. I let him know that I ma not looking for a casual relationship. If he is that's fine but I'm not with it. I told him that when I tell someone I am going to do something, I do it and I accept the same from those who are in my life. I also expalined to him that I hope this is not a glimpse of how he is, bc if so this will not work...I'm simply not down for the bull ish. He started back pedling and saying that he felt lower than a snake and was surprised by my reaction. He said that he did not think I would get upset and that it upsets him that he has been type cast as a "bad guy" bc of this isolated incident. I told him that I have not type cast him as anything. I am just sharing the type of behavior that I will and will not tolerate.then he offered to come over instead. I told him no and that I do not want him to do anything that he does not want to.

While I was talking all I could think about was this book that I just read, Act Like A Lady, Think Like A Man. There is a chapter in the book entitled "Men Respect Standards, Get Some." I wanted to set boundries of what I deem as appropriate and tolerated behavior. Not to mention, I was mad. I am also scared. Was he just putting on a sharade and now he is showing his true self?

Now I am starting to have mixed feelings about my reaction. Did I react to harshly? Do you think I came off as a pyscho? Did I over react?

Sooo...I felt a little bad for my tone in the discussion that i had while talking to my virguy about what happened on saturday. So, i called him that night and left him a message. I apologized for my tone. I explained to him that I do NOT apologize for expressing my frustration at his behavior (what I perceived as being disrespectful) but I do apologize for my tone and the way that I communicated my feelings. Hmm.. i thought that was the right thing to do.

Posted by Starfish225
"Like I said, I spoke too soon. Virguy broke plans with me. He called me and said that he decided to go to his pastor's house."

So you got mad at him bc he wanted to go to his pastors house and not spend that time with you is that what you are saying—

No, I got mad b/c he waited until 7PM (an hour before we were supposed to be at the game night) to let me know what was going on AND I had to call him. If he would have told me earlier, so that I could have gone on with my day, then I would not have been mad. Also, when I asked him why did he wait so long to tell me, he started to tell me that the day is not over and I had time to still plan something else and that the sun was still up, etc. Instead of just saying, "i did not think it was going to be such an inconvenience. I apologize that was not my intent" or sopmething along those lines. When he first called me back and told me of the change i was annoyed but after he did not accept responsibility for being inconsiderate (waiting until later in the day to let me know) and that is what made me mad.

Simply put, when I make plans with people i try my best to keep them. If i cannot keep them, I try my best to let them know in advance notice so I wont hold up their whole day. if i cannot do either of the two, i apologize and explain. I accept that i might have inconvenienced them/i take presponsibility and simply apologize. I dont make excuses for it. Consequently, I appreciate the same in return.

I think you haven't smothered him enough with your demands on how you expect him to be (rather than any acceptance of who he actually is) ..... I expect you to call him and place some sort of condition on him .. afterall, you might decide that he is going to marry you one day, and you certainly cannot allow him his free will now because what if he does something horrible ...... like, have a friend.

Posted by P-Angel
I think you haven't smothered him enough with your demands on how you expect him to be (rather than any acceptance of who he actually is) ..... I expect you to call him and place some sort of condition on him .. afterall, you might decide that he is going to marry you one day, and you certainly cannot allow him his free will now because what if he does something horrible ...... like, have a friend.

Lol. Listen P, all I ask is for the man to let me know in advance if he is going to break plans. And if he can't, acknowledge the fact that it could have caused an inconvenience for me. I would oblige him the SAME EXACT courtesy. It's not as though I am asking him (or anyone else) for something that I myself am not willing to do. Furthermore, I am not trying to control where he goes or him having friends. Lol. That is completely his business. I think that it is important for significant others to have friends and active social lives outside of each other. My only issue is with how he handled breaking the date...not that he spent time with his pastor, the pope, or anyone else for that matter. Haha.

I do not think consideration and respect are too much to ask. Meanwhile, he can hangout with his friends all he wants. Btw, every time that we have seen each other, he has initiated it.

wow!!! you really over-reacted!!!! just reading your narrative made me feel overwhelmed. sure you need to demand respect but your attitude was very abrasive. you've only been dating for a month. he didn't see the situation in the same way as you did, you need to understand that. you over analyzed the situation in a very unhealthy way. you should have waited until your emotions subsided and you were more rational. and bringing up serious topics such as the state of your relationship over the phone while he is at church was inappropriate. you should have told him to have a good time and asked if he could give you a call the next time he had a chance so that you can talk. then you could have had the time to think things over rationally and could have presented your views about him calling in advance and letting you know about plans, cancellations, and where your relationshion is heading.

how old are you? it seems you are putting a lot on this relationship. you need to relax a bit. as you stated, it's only been a month.

if i were him i would be very hesitant to speak to you right now. just as you stated that you hoped this incident didn't speak for how he would be throughout the rest of the relationship, if i were him i would be hoping the same about you right now and the way you reacted to this incident.

let us know how he responds.

one more thing: i understand that it's important to keep plans when you make them but you can't forsee every situation. if this is the first time he's done this your reaction was very disproportionate. you need to be more easy-going. and less controlling. he didn't just stand you up. he called and told you exactly what was going on. maybe deep down inside the bigger issue was that you really wanted to be with him and were upset that he chose to exclude you or to hang out with them over you. you made him important enough to keep all over plans at bay and he didn't do the same. you have a right to be a bit hurt or upset but you need to be more understanding. this is the beginning of your relationship and unless he has done this repeatedly you over-reacted.

Up until the point where someone pointed out the impression they get of your controlling behaviour ..... you were all for this being about a person breaking their word with you .. one of your pet peeves, remember?

No mention of it being about time that he tells you.


Let's talk about time .. according to the post in dxp, you know the possibility was highly likely that he was going to go see his new pastor at 4:02 PM, and then he called again 19 minutes later at 4:21 to report to you again that this is probably what he is going to do ....... and you make no mention at all that you would like his management of his time, as it pertains to your convenience to be his main consideration.


"I just hope that he does not break plans with me tonight. To me, that would indicate that he is not into me like I thought and obviously prove to be majorly disappointing."


Not one word about it ..... until someone pointed out to you that you perhaps you aren't demanding enough ...


... then you start your backpedalling of saying you don't care, it's all about the time that he informed you of his plans and that this was inconsiderate.




Please .. save your bullshit for the gullible ones who have to believe you because they cannot see the whole picture and will take each thing you say at face value.


The fact of the matter is ..... you got jealous of any time he might spend with another person when you aren't around and it pisses you off.

Isabella, I realize that I over reacted. That is why I called him and left him a message apologizing for my tone and some of the wording that I used. I acknowledged that I was wrong and made amends for it.

He called me back and accepted my apology. I explained to him my perspective and why I reacted in the way that I did and apologized again. As far as I know, we are fine now. We have spoken on several occasions since then and he asked me to go to Magic Mountain tomorrow.

I am not perfect. i made a mistike in my tone and delivery and apologized for it. Lesson learned.

"Up until the point where someone pointed out the impression they get of your controlling behaviour ..... you were all for this being about a person breaking their word with you .. one of your pet peeves, remember? No mention of it being about time that he tells you."

Yes it is a pet peeve of mine when people do not follow through on their word and yes this did annoy me. However, this was not the ONLY thing that annoyed me. In my original post, I did not include every single detail and word that was shared between him and I. I simply provided a synposis. There were other things that he said that added to my level of frustration.

"Let's talk about time .. according to the post in dxp, you know the possibility was highly likely that he was going to go see his new pastor at 4:02 PM, and then he called again 19 minutes later at 4:21 to report to you again that this is probably what he is going to do ....... and you make no mention at all that you would like his management of his time, as it pertains to your convenience to be his main consideration."

I live in California. I think the time stamps on DXP are either CST or EST. When he texted messaged me from chruch it was around 12 or 1 PM PST. I did not hear from him again until 6:30 PM EST and that was after I called him at about 5:45PM PST.

***

As I stated earlier I was upset for numerous reasons. Yes, i was disappointed that we would not be able to spend time together..but that was not the whole issue. Disappointment (a tleast for me) is completely different from anger. I did not care for the way he handled the situation. That in conjuntion with, the disaapointment, in conjunction with past experiences that i have had dealing with this sort of behavior in past(miserable) relationships made me react the way i did. I am not saying that I reacted in the right way. I do not think there was anything wrong with expressing the fact that he should have given me a heads up before 6:30 PM. However, I fully acknowledge that I overreacted. I was not jealous. For heaven's sake he was with his pastor. it was not as if he was honeymooning with another woman. Lol. So jealousy was not an issue. What was an issue was that I was disappointed, and i felt that he was being inconsdierate and past experiences.

Btw Isabel, he was not at church when we had this conversation. We did not talk again until 6:30 PM PST....he was at home by this time. i would not have brought that type of coversation up if he were still at church.

ok natural, glad to hear all is worked out.

Isabel, I am too! Like I said, I know I overreacted in my deleivery and I could have really messed things up with him. At least, I can admit. Some people have a hard time admitting when they are wrong. But I sure did learn a valuable lesson. 🙂