LakeLady
@LakeLady
16 YearsScorpio
Comments: 0 · Posts: 31 · Topics: 7
Virgo Selfish? Is it me or him
because he is my boyfriend and I love him.This make me feel bad like I am whining.
We never talk about marriage. I do think about it alot. I would like to think while we were dating that we were working toward something. I would like a future with him, but afraid if we don't work these things out now that we wont have a future.
We never talk about marriage. I do think about it alot. I would like to think while we were dating that we were working toward something. I would like a future with him, but afraid if we don't work these things out now that we wont have a future.
Well..I think the same thing when I do think about it. "what the hell am I thinking"? but I would like to think that we are not just wasting time here spinning our wheels. Sometimes he feels like more of a roomate with benefits if I think there is no future..
Thank you for your honesty. I am looking for honest opinions. I just want to make sure that it is just me not understanding him. He says he is afraid to give money because he is afraid he will not have any for us if we need it for an emergency. I am not sure about the affection issue though.
We have been through a lot in the past 2 years. The death of his mother. Some major issues with my family. The loss of my property.
We have been through a lot in the past 2 years. The death of his mother. Some major issues with my family. The loss of my property.
Everyone is doing belt tightening these days.Suze Orman has a formula for an amount that each partner should be kicking in towards bills if both incomes aren't equal.
Fist take an honest look at your finances.Do you think that you could swing a pared down version of your life style on your own.What could you have to give up to keep this roof over your head?Or would you be able to move to a garageless place.
If you want to work this out with him,present the formula to your bf on a neutral time and place.See what his reactions are and if he doesn't want to be apart of the new income plan structure.Then you have some serious decisions to make.
Check the laws in your state about evictions,if you are rash and lock him out ,you may end up loosing this proeprty also.Real estates dealings seem to be not in your favor during this planetary cycle.
I bet he is good looking ,can be charming when he chooses and maybe this relationship was an ego boost ,if you had lost the properties to the ex ?
You seem to be savy with money,making it grow for you via the investments,look at him from a financial standpoint.How much is he costing you,in electricity,water usages,insurances,clothes ,meals,boy toys and etc.And the etc. I mean by the -"honey can I get a 20 for cigs".A lot more than you care to admit or even realized .Go on,add it up.I'll wait.
If you get him to marry you.I can predict from here that his behavior will continue in the same vein that it is going.If this was your best friend and she wrote what you just wrote,what would you say to her?Does she deserve this crap?I can bet you've lost a ton of friends and opportunties behind this asshat.
Many times in our lives ,we have to start over,college,divorce,death.Starting over at 40 is uncomfortable,but not undo-able.See what other 40 yr olds have done.Why not you? Wouldn't you rather have a partner where you can build something together rather that catering to someone elses' life style .If you like being treated poorly,stay and say nothing.If you have had enough,make plans to change this.
The only way that I see you have a Virgo Man problem on your hands,is in his scope and type of excuses as to not to be fully invested in this relationship.You frankly have a selfish,immature,sneaky,uncaring,poor,lazy,committment phobe,hobo like man child on your hands.It's your life,your dreams,your health,your wallet and your self esteem that are being drained.It's also your choice to continue down this road.Good L
Fist take an honest look at your finances.Do you think that you could swing a pared down version of your life style on your own.What could you have to give up to keep this roof over your head?Or would you be able to move to a garageless place.
If you want to work this out with him,present the formula to your bf on a neutral time and place.See what his reactions are and if he doesn't want to be apart of the new income plan structure.Then you have some serious decisions to make.
Check the laws in your state about evictions,if you are rash and lock him out ,you may end up loosing this proeprty also.Real estates dealings seem to be not in your favor during this planetary cycle.
I bet he is good looking ,can be charming when he chooses and maybe this relationship was an ego boost ,if you had lost the properties to the ex ?
You seem to be savy with money,making it grow for you via the investments,look at him from a financial standpoint.How much is he costing you,in electricity,water usages,insurances,clothes ,meals,boy toys and etc.And the etc. I mean by the -"honey can I get a 20 for cigs".A lot more than you care to admit or even realized .Go on,add it up.I'll wait.
If you get him to marry you.I can predict from here that his behavior will continue in the same vein that it is going.If this was your best friend and she wrote what you just wrote,what would you say to her?Does she deserve this crap?I can bet you've lost a ton of friends and opportunties behind this asshat.
Many times in our lives ,we have to start over,college,divorce,death.Starting over at 40 is uncomfortable,but not undo-able.See what other 40 yr olds have done.Why not you? Wouldn't you rather have a partner where you can build something together rather that catering to someone elses' life style .If you like being treated poorly,stay and say nothing.If you have had enough,make plans to change this.
The only way that I see you have a Virgo Man problem on your hands,is in his scope and type of excuses as to not to be fully invested in this relationship.You frankly have a selfish,immature,sneaky,uncaring,poor,lazy,committment phobe,hobo like man child on your hands.It's your life,your dreams,your health,your wallet and your self esteem that are being drained.It's also your choice to continue down this road.Good L
Posted by LakeLady
because he is my boyfriend and I love him.This make me feel bad like I am whining.
We never talk about marriage. I do think about it alot. I would like to think while we were dating that we were working toward something. I would like a future with him, but afraid if we don't work these things out now that we wont have a future.
Sorry but the guys is a prick.
In his defense, you arent a married couple but still...he should have "adjusted" his life style if it means it lightens some of your fiscal responsibility.
I had something similar happen to me. I moved in with a woman and I paid all the bills except the mortgage and her car notes. But when she started to ask for more money and she kept mentioning her DISCOVER CC bill....i had a talk with her and told her that I shouldnt be helping her pay debts that she had prior to me being in her life....why should i help you pay for 30 pair of shoes, you should have thought about that before you spent all that money on shoes, i mean, do you need that many shoes?Max your CC cause you have to have those trendy boots? anyways...
this is about you not me.....
He's been with you long enough to see you have so much and see you losing some of it.
Bottom line is that i can understand if he feels like the losses you have incurred have nothing to do with him but he also has to act like a man and at least lighten your load by volunteering money for groceries and utilities and things that you both share. Or mow the fucking lawn at least.
I dont think you are being selfish----- if when things were going good for you , you showered him with unneccesary gifts and took him out to cool places and paid for the both of you.
I always say, a true Virgo never lets a woman pay....even if she is wealthy. God knows If i were homeless id collect extra cans so i could buy you food.
This guy isnt ready for marriage. If he doesnt want to contribute when things are going tough then he doesnt understand the concept of companionship nevermind the one called marriage.
What if god forbid your situation was worse...like you become paralyzed...then what?
He'd have to spend 100% of his money and spend 99% of his free time helping you.
I can't even believe this thread is real.
Sounds like he's a waste. Sucking and sucking, all you have to offer.
Are you a Libra or Aries or something?
Sounds like he's a waste. Sucking and sucking, all you have to offer.
Are you a Libra or Aries or something?
He sounds like a boy, not a man. Need to tell him to get his head out of his ass or step.
Thank you for the insite. Vulcanlass you hit the nail on the head. He is good looking and seems to come through with the emotion and affection at the last minute.
I just feel like I am always giving and never receiving.
Cajun, I am a Scorpio
I just feel like I am always giving and never receiving.
Cajun, I am a Scorpio
Yeah LakeLady sounds like it.
Stop giving.
Dump that Virgo imposter.
Stop giving.
Dump that Virgo imposter.
Posted by LakeLady
Cajun, I am a Scorpio
Then your emotions are running the show.
The drama you described sustains your inner needs. You will continue to endure until he does something major, like cheats on you.
Sad how you Scorpios can't detach when everything and everyone clearly tells you to.
I do admit I have strong emotions. I feel like if I am going to love I should give it my all and love with everything in me. If a person means enough to me for me to do this I want to have hope that I can find the same kind of love in return. I am careful to disregard someone's actions without analyzing the meaning behind them.
Lol..no fountain of youth here. I have been told i look younger and I really have no idea why.. I will take it as a compliment.. thank you
Posted by LakeLady
I do admit I have strong emotions. I feel like if I am going to love I should give it my all and love with everything in me. If a person means enough to me for me to do this I want to have hope that I can find the same kind of love in return. I am careful to disregard someone's actions without analyzing the meaning behind them.
Then your posts are seeking sympathy, not answers.
You embrace and nurture your own sorrow.
Not sympathy. I genuinely needed an opinion from other virgos. It's been quite helpful in our relationship before to help understand his lack of outward emotion sometimes and given me insite to the way he thinks. If i have learned anything from our relationship, it is patience.
Lady Lake,
Been there done that.
It seems you have attracted and fallen for the —dark?? Virgo. Two things I have observed about SOME Virgo men; they can be on either side of the spectrum. I dated two Virgos in my life, my first love who was the most loving, compassionate and considerate person I have ever met and my last ex who was manipulative, cunning, and selfish. (Pretty much in a nutshell, a self-obsessed Psychopath.)
He seems like a predator. He preys on women. His goal was to use you.
I am sure there were red flags in the beginning that you disregarded. Could it be you were or are not currently looking at things from an objective standpoint? Some women allow their feelings for someone to cloud their reason. That is a bad idea. I am not trying to judge you, just trying to provide you some insight that might be useful in potential circumstances.
Been there done that.
It seems you have attracted and fallen for the —dark?? Virgo. Two things I have observed about SOME Virgo men; they can be on either side of the spectrum. I dated two Virgos in my life, my first love who was the most loving, compassionate and considerate person I have ever met and my last ex who was manipulative, cunning, and selfish. (Pretty much in a nutshell, a self-obsessed Psychopath.)
He seems like a predator. He preys on women. His goal was to use you.
I am sure there were red flags in the beginning that you disregarded. Could it be you were or are not currently looking at things from an objective standpoint? Some women allow their feelings for someone to cloud their reason. That is a bad idea. I am not trying to judge you, just trying to provide you some insight that might be useful in potential circumstances.
My opinion Lake Lady is that to me you had set the platform wrong from the beginning... From the get go before you guys moved in together you should have made sure that the bills in the house were not only shared by you.... Im sorry but you are to be blamed too for his actions explanation put yourself in his position even though he is a bit selfish too...You move in with someone and the person started paying the bills for the house after a while you yourself is gonna start getting comfortable with this and if memory serves me correct you said you have been living together for a period of 1 1/2 years which be year 1 he would have then developed a comfort zone for you doing everything or most of the things in essense you spoiled him...
On the other hand he is riding your co-tail because he can and if he really cared he would have taken a look into his self and contributed willingly from the start...My virgo man when we started dating if i pulled my money to pay for anything he would tell me to put it back regardless , i rarely ask him for anything we have been dating for almost a year and a half and i can count on one hand how many times i actually have to spend money because he wont allow me to....
Your sitaution has reached the stage the wher i think he is using reverse physcology to make you feel bad, mark you he might know he is wrong but because he doesn't want to feel guilty or he wants to ride your co-tail he turns it into an argument so you can feel bad... Word of advice to you regardless of loving this man you have to stand on your feet a man should help control most of the finances in the house and if he cant he should be able to at least meet you half way...In a situation like this you have to seperate your emotions and deal with the real subject at hand.... you cant be giving a man 90% and he gives you 10% when he feels like...stop spoiling this man cut out this shit of rubbing his neck if he wont step up to the plate take another approach and if he wont decide to help let him go...it may seem hard but at the end of the day your self worth is much more important...who to know if he has lost interest in you also....Wake up and smell the coffee my love , ive been there done that got out before the pain gets worst...
On the other hand he is riding your co-tail because he can and if he really cared he would have taken a look into his self and contributed willingly from the start...My virgo man when we started dating if i pulled my money to pay for anything he would tell me to put it back regardless , i rarely ask him for anything we have been dating for almost a year and a half and i can count on one hand how many times i actually have to spend money because he wont allow me to....
Your sitaution has reached the stage the wher i think he is using reverse physcology to make you feel bad, mark you he might know he is wrong but because he doesn't want to feel guilty or he wants to ride your co-tail he turns it into an argument so you can feel bad... Word of advice to you regardless of loving this man you have to stand on your feet a man should help control most of the finances in the house and if he cant he should be able to at least meet you half way...In a situation like this you have to seperate your emotions and deal with the real subject at hand.... you cant be giving a man 90% and he gives you 10% when he feels like...stop spoiling this man cut out this shit of rubbing his neck if he wont step up to the plate take another approach and if he wont decide to help let him go...it may seem hard but at the end of the day your self worth is much more important...who to know if he has lost interest in you also....Wake up and smell the coffee my love , ive been there done that got out before the pain gets worst...
Seriously, you are gorgeous LakeLady,
My heart breaks for you. I can offer you one but of advice that I hope you heed:
Google the following:
Narcissism Kaleah
There you will find the answers you seek to dealing with this man.
It's my hunch that he is a narcissist.
Good luck to you.
Gosh, you're gorgeous! How in the world did this man get you to think YOU
should have to beg for AFFECTION? *faint*
RUN girl RUN!
Mocha
My heart breaks for you. I can offer you one but of advice that I hope you heed:
Google the following:
Narcissism Kaleah
There you will find the answers you seek to dealing with this man.
It's my hunch that he is a narcissist.
Good luck to you.
Gosh, you're gorgeous! How in the world did this man get you to think YOU
should have to beg for AFFECTION? *faint*
RUN girl RUN!
Mocha
one *bit* of advice that is.
awesomevirgyal and starlover and a few others hit the nail right on the head. You started off wrong day one and now you see the end result of giving too much to a man, when you give too much to a man it invites mistreatment, he'll grow disrespectful and apathetic to you and your life. Why? Because you made him the center of your universe, you put him first before you and thus he feels he's way more important than you which means he's always going to put himself and his happiness and comfort first, had you not rewarded him with more giving and more back massages then maybe he would have understood there is a consequence for not thinking about you in the relationship, as it stands all you did was feed his Narcissism and help it grow into a energy sucking monster.
Stop giving, no explanations why, just stop it....Take care of yourself FIRST so you can see objectively which will help you deal with your impending issues surrounding your finances, your world is toppling down all around you and the last thing you need is a dependent, he's an adult make him pay, sit down and renegotiate the terms of the lease and finances around the home, stop paying for his car when you are about to LOSE a car, pay for your own damn car/finances and if he's completely against the renegotiated terms give him his 30 day eviction notice.
You've taught him not to care about you by giving too much and taking too little, making it easy for a man and giving too much invites mistreatment, also says you are a desperate doormat and he took advantage of your nature which makes him a no good lousy user, if he wasn't a no good lousy user he would have never allowed you to put your life and finances in jeopardy just to keep him around.
You'd be surprised how much he'd give back if you'd get out of the habit of doing everything for him and if he really is a loser he'd most likely leave the relationship something he would have done a long time ago had you stopped playing the servant to him and the relationship.
Every dime you get should be used on you and getting your situation straight with your cars and your rent, gas, food etc....Eat out if you have to before you put another piece of food in the fridge, put gas in your own car and get a new lease were he is bound contractually to pay or evict him.
Stop giving, no explanations why, just stop it....Take care of yourself FIRST so you can see objectively which will help you deal with your impending issues surrounding your finances, your world is toppling down all around you and the last thing you need is a dependent, he's an adult make him pay, sit down and renegotiate the terms of the lease and finances around the home, stop paying for his car when you are about to LOSE a car, pay for your own damn car/finances and if he's completely against the renegotiated terms give him his 30 day eviction notice.
You've taught him not to care about you by giving too much and taking too little, making it easy for a man and giving too much invites mistreatment, also says you are a desperate doormat and he took advantage of your nature which makes him a no good lousy user, if he wasn't a no good lousy user he would have never allowed you to put your life and finances in jeopardy just to keep him around.
You'd be surprised how much he'd give back if you'd get out of the habit of doing everything for him and if he really is a loser he'd most likely leave the relationship something he would have done a long time ago had you stopped playing the servant to him and the relationship.
Every dime you get should be used on you and getting your situation straight with your cars and your rent, gas, food etc....Eat out if you have to before you put another piece of food in the fridge, put gas in your own car and get a new lease were he is bound contractually to pay or evict him.
By the way if you don't do it, put you and your life first for a change then whatever you get is ALL ON YOU, suffer the consequences.
"To date, I have bought everything for the house that we needed, furniture, lawn mower, appliances, etc.. I have helped him with repairs on his vehicles. He owns 2 cars, one he has bought while we are together. I have one that I am fixing to lose. I just hate to discuss any money matters with him because he gets very offensive and it turns into a fight. He just seems selfish to me. I pay extra to rent a home with a garage, he is the only one that is allowed to park in it. I do all the grocery shopping and make all the meals. I mow the lawn most of the time because he is tired. I have put off medical expenses for myself. He doesn't. I don't ask much. I don't want someone to support me but I need someone to help me if they are living in the same home as I am. "
All of that...STOP IT!! Stop doing that, stop paying extra to rent a home with a garage FOR HIM, take his car out of that parking garage and (put your car the one you are about to lose in that garage.) No more cooking for 2, no more grocery shopping, no more lawn mowing (pay someone or pay one of the kids on the block to do it) and no more putting your medical expenses off, no more back rubs....
Ask for much and THEN SOME. Stop the madness!! Stop being a martyr, stop being a doormat and stand up for yourself or be prepared to lose everything, not only will you lose YOU by putting him first, you'll lose your home, cars and end up with a pile of debt, no car, no home, no money while he skates off clean with no debt and a couple of cars and leaves you with nothing.
Who were you before he showed up in your life? Were you strong inside, independent, happy? How were your finances before he showed up in your life? Clearly SOMETHING IS WRONG, you went from having it all, money, rental income coming in, no struggles and now almost 2 years later your life is crumbling around you.....Take a step back and look at why your life has turned for the worse and what part he played in that and what part you played. What manipulation was going on that made you feel you had to give him everything even at the cost of losing everything.
All of that...STOP IT!! Stop doing that, stop paying extra to rent a home with a garage FOR HIM, take his car out of that parking garage and (put your car the one you are about to lose in that garage.) No more cooking for 2, no more grocery shopping, no more lawn mowing (pay someone or pay one of the kids on the block to do it) and no more putting your medical expenses off, no more back rubs....
Ask for much and THEN SOME. Stop the madness!! Stop being a martyr, stop being a doormat and stand up for yourself or be prepared to lose everything, not only will you lose YOU by putting him first, you'll lose your home, cars and end up with a pile of debt, no car, no home, no money while he skates off clean with no debt and a couple of cars and leaves you with nothing.
Who were you before he showed up in your life? Were you strong inside, independent, happy? How were your finances before he showed up in your life? Clearly SOMETHING IS WRONG, you went from having it all, money, rental income coming in, no struggles and now almost 2 years later your life is crumbling around you.....Take a step back and look at why your life has turned for the worse and what part he played in that and what part you played. What manipulation was going on that made you feel you had to give him everything even at the cost of losing everything.
Posted by mochacaremel
Seriously, you are gorgeous LakeLady,
My heart breaks for you. I can offer you one but of advice that I hope you heed:
Google the following:
Narcissism Kaleah
There you will find the answers you seek to dealing with this man.
It's my hunch that he is a narcissist.
Good luck to you.
Gosh, you're gorgeous! How in the world did this man get you to think YOU
should have to beg for AFFECTION? *faint*
RUN girl RUN!
Mocha
if you are into psychology, check this out:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dark_triad<BR>
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/beautiful-minds/201107/the-dark-triad-and-impulsivity<BR>
The bad boy phenomenon refers to the observation that many women seem particularly attracted to men who are narcissistic, manipulative, and free of guilt (the dark triad of traits), and that such men will be more successful in "scoring" sexually.
^^Agreed.
Mocha
Mocha
This is interesting. He does have these traits, impulsive at times but also cautious at others. It seems to come and go. Also, he seems to try to be morally correct sometimes and at other times says he hates people and has a very hateful attitude toward others. Right now he seems very preoccupied all the time. His mind is in another place. I can talk and he doesn't hear and asks for me to repeat myself. I think he gets so wrapped up in his self and what is going on in his life it is hard to consider others. He has never given me a reason to think he is interested in anyone else. Never acted sneaky about that type of thing.
Posted by LakeLady
This is interesting. He does have these traits, impulsive at times but also cautious at others. It seems to come and go. Also, he seems to try to be morally correct sometimes and at other times says he hates people and has a very hateful attitude toward others. Right now he seems very preoccupied all the time. His mind is in another place. I can talk and he doesn't hear and asks for me to repeat myself. I think he gets so wrapped up in his self and what is going on in his life it is hard to consider others. He has never given me a reason to think he is interested in anyone else. Never acted sneaky about that type of thing.
Listen he wont give you a reason to think he is sneaking around even if he is virgo men tend to be quite secretive with things that sometimes even if they are doing it you wont know (it took my gf 1 year before she found out her virguy was cheating and even when she found out she was so shocked because he showed no signs....she happened to be snooping around his email and thats how she found out )...if he is so caught up while talking to him and he wont hear you maybe you need to change environment, maybe do a dinner with him a walk in the park and when he settles in and get comfortable bring it up again but be careful dont try to quarrel but try to bring up the argument in a suttle and favorable way , some virgo men once they think you are quarrelling they will just tune you out...A virgo mind also is always pre-occupied with different aspects of life or things..He might have a horrible past too that may trigger different behavioral patterns probably thats why he hates ppl ...my virgo was on lock out when i first knew him he was like a closed book , till he started to open up to me about the bad experiences he have had in the past with other women...Virgo men are detailed too and will criticize you for anything they think is off...
Damn dude is toast.
Who cares if he has anyone else, he isn't helping you, he's resistant to giving and doing his fair share and that should be one of your main issues...Why are you so focused on him and his feelings and not focused on yourself? This relationship is not healthy, you appear completely codependent and maybe that's why your finances are messed and choices aren't making any sense. I think she's toast if she doesn't pull her head out of her ass.
^^^^ I agree with you tiki the thing that matters the most is her self worthand being happy...does get rid of his messy ass...
Scorpios are such assholes when they do this ... and they do it all the time.
You get what you deserve ... you made the relationship what it is .. and then come here to try and make it sound like he is doing somethign wrong, that he is selfish ... when all along, according to what you said = you actually promoted this behaviour by bragging on how you cater to him.
You said you want the truth .. when in reality, you don't even acknowledge what the truth is.
And for all those who say he's a loser and you deserve better .. yeah, they are talking out of their ass, as usual.
You made this relationship what it is 2 years later, by your very partication of living it = you made what you deserve to have.
Scorpios are notorius for playing victim .... you're typical
You get what you deserve ... you made the relationship what it is .. and then come here to try and make it sound like he is doing somethign wrong, that he is selfish ... when all along, according to what you said = you actually promoted this behaviour by bragging on how you cater to him.
You said you want the truth .. when in reality, you don't even acknowledge what the truth is.
And for all those who say he's a loser and you deserve better .. yeah, they are talking out of their ass, as usual.
You made this relationship what it is 2 years later, by your very partication of living it = you made what you deserve to have.
Scorpios are notorius for playing victim .... you're typical
Okay...it could be me. I don't want to play victim. I don't want anyone taking "sides". Him and I are both human and neither perfect.
I just want a truthful relationship with no hidden agendas. I want to be able to be honest and with someone and lay it all out on the table. No gameplaying or acting weird. Everything 50/50, you know?
I ask the question to see if i could get opinions on whether I was being overly sensitive to the way he is acting, and if the selfishness may be a typical virgo trait. I have gotten help from this board that has helped me understand some of his actions when we first met.
Thanks to all that have answered.
I just want a truthful relationship with no hidden agendas. I want to be able to be honest and with someone and lay it all out on the table. No gameplaying or acting weird. Everything 50/50, you know?
I ask the question to see if i could get opinions on whether I was being overly sensitive to the way he is acting, and if the selfishness may be a typical virgo trait. I have gotten help from this board that has helped me understand some of his actions when we first met.
Thanks to all that have answered.
Posted by P-Angel
Scorpios are such assholes when they do this ... and they do it all the time.
You get what you deserve ... you made the relationship what it is .. and then come here to try and make it sound like he is doing somethign wrong, that he is selfish ... when all along, according to what you said = you actually promoted this behaviour by bragging on how you cater to him.
You said you want the truth .. when in reality, you don't even acknowledge what the truth is.
And for all those who say he's a loser and you deserve better .. yeah, they are talking out of their ass, as usual.
You made this relationship what it is 2 years later, by your very partication of living it = you made what you deserve to have.
Scorpios are notorius for playing victim .... you're typical
The stupid pisces is partial correct. YOU made this relationship what it is. You could of easily walked away when the first sign of deception occured. Other than that, she is wrong. NOT all Scorpios play victim/martyr. Don't mind her bitter demanor, she in a sexless marriage with a Virgo and refuses to invest in a jack rabbit despite my constant suggestion.
Do you know why people lie, cheat, rob, and do other horrible things? It's because they know they *can*. Bullies look for people they KNOW they can bully. Robbers look for people they KNOW they can rob.Cheaters look for people they KNOW they can cheat easily.
In short, people who take from others, users, losers, lazy ass men often look for people they KNOW they can hurt without much consequences. He tested your boundaries, realized you didn't have any and walked all over you and you let him and rewarded him with a back massage as well so it's understandable that he has a huge sense of self importance and entitlement and clearly is reluctant to downgrade himself just so you can feel like an equal partner in the relationship, it was never that way from the start so why should he share now?
Not only were you not over reacting, you weren't being unreasonable either but unfortunately for you you set up a really poor shaky relationship foundation from the start were you completely ignored yourself, your needs, your desires to keep him around. You can try to renegotiate the terms whilst continuing to beg for help or find the nearest exit and save yourself.
In short, people who take from others, users, losers, lazy ass men often look for people they KNOW they can hurt without much consequences. He tested your boundaries, realized you didn't have any and walked all over you and you let him and rewarded him with a back massage as well so it's understandable that he has a huge sense of self importance and entitlement and clearly is reluctant to downgrade himself just so you can feel like an equal partner in the relationship, it was never that way from the start so why should he share now?
Not only were you not over reacting, you weren't being unreasonable either but unfortunately for you you set up a really poor shaky relationship foundation from the start were you completely ignored yourself, your needs, your desires to keep him around. You can try to renegotiate the terms whilst continuing to beg for help or find the nearest exit and save yourself.
He doesn't want to give to you because you taught him that you aren't WORTH anything and this can happen in any relationship dynamic no matter what his astrological sign is. This is what happens when any woman downgrades herself to upgrade a man, he looks down at her and he'll never pull her up from his pedestal to meet her face to face, he'll look down at her forever unless something drastically changes.
Posted by LakeLady
Okay...it could be me.
There is no "could" be you to it .. it is all you.
You set the stage for your life, nobody else. If a passage in your life isn't suitable, then remember you are the tailor, you made it.
Posted by LakeLady
I just want a truthful relationship with no hidden agendas. I want to be able to be honest and with someone and lay it all out on the table. No gameplaying or acting weird. Everything 50/50, you know?
click to expand
What a joke. You've already stated in here how you cater to him, pamper and spoil him. The only reason a person would do that is for the return of the same superficial sentiments, if this spoiling is being done without justification.
You want the truth, you keep saying ... then at least grow some balls and speak the truth yourself = what you want of him is to spoil you because that's what you think you deserve, because that's how you do him.
In one breath you admit giving to him above and beyond, then in the next you talk bullshit like 50/50 crappola.
Being the typical Scorpio you are, it's doubtful that you will admit to the real issue here, which is you're upset because he refuses to be a puppet under your thumb, which is the only reason why you would spoil a man who isn't deserving of those gestures.
What a fucking douchebag .. of course, most of you women are as you shroud yourselves in a deception of thinking you're entitled to more than you deserve.
Someone OBVIOUSLY hates Scorpios. How do you know for sure she is a TYPICAL scorpio? What you spew is merely assumptions. Let's look at the person chart before we put them in a box, they may not need to be in. Also, NO ONE ON DXPNET knows completely her situation. So EVERYONE'S input including, the pathetic pisces (P-Angel) is solely opinion based on one person's perspective of the circumstance.
Join the Conversation. Explore Yourself. Connect with Others.
Discover insights, swap stories, and find people. dxpnet is where experiences turn into understanding.
Create Your Free Account →Related Topics
Virgo Sun Cancer Moon Scorpio Asc. I've always known my entire life that I'm slow to warm up to people (and vice
I was wondering any Virgos ever been provoked to vengence? Have you been victom or the end of the anger of a Virgo? What
The last thing I would want to admit is that someone actually caught me with my guards down and I'm, well I'm smitten. H
I was dating a virgo for a couple months. things were going great and then all of the sudden he disappeared. I know it w
I do not know if you guys look that show its great in one of the episode he say he is virgo. Makes since to me he very c
My Virgo has admitted to sleeping with someone else. Why did he admit this? Especially since he wants to get back with m
Hey guys! I had recently went on a date with a Virgo and it went really well. We have been talking on and off for a few
But he doesn't know I know! Basically, as a follow up to my previous posts. Virgo became distant and told me that he rea
Virgo and I were friends for almost 20 years, dated for 3 months and had a falling out. I made the mistake of not giving
Ok so I was on facebook yesterday and saw this female from my area with a picture of my mans t-shirt taking a picture of
Damn...why is it that people always come on the fucken virgo forums and express to us how much they don't like us? How
Bear with me...I've read quite a few opinions on the 'secondary element' of signs. It seems common to put 'air' as the
JUNE 12 — JUNE 18, 2011 All times/dates are PDT. VIRGO, the twelve months from June 4, 2011 to mid-June 2012 bri
Hey there virgos...I am personally not dating a virgo, but my taurus sister is and she's been complaining a lot about hi
I had met this Virgo out at a friends birthday party. He literally scoped me out of a crowd and followed me into the clu
I posted here a few months ago about the virgo I was seeing for a few months who suddenly needed time and space to deal
Hello fellow Virgos :) Quick question: What is the perfect way to deal with you when you're very emotional? -Read i
I've noticed that with a lot of Virgos, their innate desire to do things in the most practical manner puts people off, a
Is there any room for second chances in your book? If so, under what circumstances? If children were involved would t
I have come to a realization that I pretty much hate Air Signs. Yes, Hate. Despite the fact my Sister and Aunt are Gemi
I have been dating a virgo for 2 years. We have lived together for 1 1/2. I'm having some problems and need to know if it is me or is it him.
A little background- we met dated a few months and then moved in together.We are in our 40's. At the time, I was making quite a bit of money. I had inherited some, and had a vacation rental home and also had leased a home that I owned and had income from my job. I paid most of the bills for a few months and he started contributing some later on. In january of this year I lost my rental home and vacation home in a court battle, and also lost all of the income coming in from the homes. As a result, money has become an issue for me. I am struggling but I am downsizing and will take some time to get back on my feet. The last few months my boyfriend has been acting like it is killing him when he has to give me any money for bills, groceries, etc..I have to ask for bill money and he never offers money to me. If he has to give me any extra for gas or food it results in a fight. To him, it seems okay for me to spend all of my income on bills and food, etc.. but he should be able to save his. To date, I have bought everything for the house that we needed, furniture, lawn mower, appliances, etc.. I have helped him with repairs on his vehicles. He owns 2 cars, one he has bought while we are together. I have one that I am fixing to lose. I just hate to discuss any money matters with him because he gets very offensive and it turns into a fight. He just seems selfish to me. I pay extra to rent a home with a garage, he is the only one that is allowed to park in it. I do all the grocery shopping and make all the meals. I mow the lawn most of the time because he is tired. I have put off medical expenses for myself. He doesn't. I don't ask much. I don't want someone to support me but I need someone to help me if they are living in the same home as I am.
As far as our relationship goes. He is not very affectionate at times. His affection comes in spurts. Alot of the time he acts like i'm bothering him if I want to talk to him or if I need something. I have very strong feelings for him. I have always loved him deeply from the start. I rub his back and neck every night. He never has given me a massage or even offered. He gets mad if I say I want more attention...hugs, etc..He says he doesn't understand what is wrong with me. I tell him it just makes me feel better to get hugs and affection from him beca