virgo woman and Virgo man woes - need help

Hi I am a Virgo woman who has been dating a Virgo man for the last 2 ?_ years and we are now in a serious spot of trouble which I need advice from a Virgo male about. What trouble you ask.. Well that's just it, the whole thing is silly in my eyes but I do love my Virgo man and I want to restore the peace and get him to accept I love him.

When we first met he told me on the 2nd date he was looking for a wife and wanted us to be a couple and see how it goes. That didn't scare me at all I was looking for a commitment and were both over 30. 6 months into it he sat me down to tell me he wanted kids I said if where together by the end of the year we??ll move in and go from there. The move never happened and since then I??ve been dealing with his insecurity every time I leave the house, his sharp tongue and lack of sensitivity SOMETIMES.

Make no mistake I get treated very well, cards, flowers, dinners but I do as much for him as well. I also travel for work and he come's everytime. The last trip to Barcelona seems to be where our clash exploded into something else.

I See him every other weekend as he has a child, which is ok for me as I am not needy and I understand and love that he is a good father and were on the phone most of the time during, on occasion we do things together as a 3some but I have complained that he is not integrating me enough yet we talk of moving in, looked at wedding venues and have made 2 trips to tiffany??s to look at rings. Only Oct he said we should move in, in the new year I brought it up in Nov and he basically scolded me saying he hasn't worked it out yet and I??ve been going on about it every week (which was a lie) I was hurt and decided to never bring it up again and the move never happened, 8 weeks ago he sent me a link to a house which we viewed with no discussion, which is weird as he sent me the link I booked it but we never discussed if this is what were doing now. He is a total control freak.

Anyways we had an amazing valentines, but by the end of the week he called me vain just because we were out and I complained my hair was messy and he said a few other hurtful things like I don't do anything around HIS house which is a total lie. I got upset and went cold for 2 weeks speaking to him on the phone but not seeing him. He then asked what was wrong and I told him before we started to chat as I know he is insecure that I'm telling him this so we stay together this isn't about leaving and then let

let him have it. I told him he upset me and that he can often be very critical and nasty. THAT did not go down well!

He didn't speak to me for a day and I called him he wanted me to leave him to process, he didn't call me again for a day but then the next day he did. I left for Barcelona we were talking, he then met me in Barcelona and all hell broke loose. BTW I booked a dinner for him the night he got there to show him I care and loved him.

We argued for 24 hours on an off in Barcelona he now says he doesn't know if he loves me as how can he love someone who doesn't do anything for him and I never took the shirts upstairs when he asked me. Apparently if I loved him I would have OMG. Then he said ive only cooked for him like 4 times LIE, and he got annoyed as I was getting texts from my girl cousin, he then went on to say im only with him as he looks good on paper (when I own my own home too) and that I broke his pressure cooker e.t.c you get the drift. During this I even wrote him a note as to why I loved him and tried to give him space but after 24 hours of arguing and him hurting me by saying he didn't know if he loved me and was done with this. I left him in Barcelona.

I did text when I got back to make sure he got back ok, and we've spoken a few times since and met up twice. It coming up to a month now and if I call him he picks up but he isn't calling me. First meeting he said he didn't see how we could work things out, last week he texted me to say he has brought my little brothers Easter eggs an we met on Monday and I apologised if I hurt his feelings with what I said. He seems to be calmer but still he said he questions whether I am genuine. We haven't spoken since Monday what can I do to get him to move forward and what the hell is he thinking. The bigger picture is it's almost a month but we haven't gone a week without contact mainly from me, and he hasn't posted my stuff back from his house which he said he would do you think he still loves me? Only Valentines he said I was his soul mate??_ sigh!

Thank you for answering and I actually really appreciate your comments. You've hit the nail on the head and I have previously asked him to go to couples counselling mainly because I felt HE needed to sit in front of a counsellor and I could sell it to him that way. The kind of person I am, I'm not to conceited to believe that I couldn't learn a thing or two either.

Currently he is acting as if everything that happened in Barcelona is my fault and as you say this is the first time ive been passive as usually we go head to head and personally I think as my feelings are involved now he is running with and likes the control he has over the situation, which I know he cannot handle as he is a 36 year old child.

Im not sure what to do right now apart from not contact him either. I do want to sort things out but I need him to meet me ?_ way. When we met on Monday he mentioned that his mate said I'm very head strong. Which annoyed me why the hell is he discussing me with his mate who I??ve had dinner with once and is a serial cheater, I think he is trying to break me down and get me to fall in line and slips in things like this as he knows they will get to me and wants me to lose that part of my character to make him feel better.

You might ask why I'm with him and there's much about our relationship that I love, and im the kind of person who meets someone and tries to accept there good and bad points — not put up with it and I told him Monday I need to be able to say what I have to say to him and vice versa and I told him to accept he came to Barcelona with an attitude an kicked off from there. Not a blame game but he needs to accept some fault.

Your words have hit hard and maybe this just isn't going to work. sigh