What would the virgo male want from you?

I know what I would want, but I am a woman and a cancer woman at that.

He is having a bad week, now going into two weeks.
Had argument with his father on fathers day.
Got shorted a paycheck last week, for not turning time sheet in on time - he forgot. He was tired. Was with me late the night before due to turn in time sheet (I feel partially responsible). His son went to go live with mom - he was sad about that.

This week:
His car is acting up - had to put it in shop - and shortened paycheck does not help with that expense.

Of course he won't take a day off work to address getting car fixed. So Dad taking him to work.

I feel bad because of a phone call where I said, I hope they fix it right (he initially tried relatives for fixing the car) and he said you trying to jinx me. I was speaking from experience - I had work done on my car that my brother didn't do right and I had to put in shop to get it fixed again. But I never got chance to share that. Wasn't trying to wish him bad events.

Then to top that off, injured self at work yesterday.
Nope, he won't stop working and go get checked out at hospital. I swear he would work with a broken ankle.

I know - he's a man, let him deal with his problems. I haven't offered any help.
I know he is going to be annoyed with himself - with injury slowing him down.
I know he doesn't like depending on anyone for rides or anything
And I know the car expense does not help.

Other than leaving him alone, is there anything I can do?
I think if I try to offer help I'd annoy him more that he already is.

Wow sounds like hes got a lot going on!

Just do what you are doing....eventually things will go back to normal and get better. I agree though...I think it will just annoy him more if you put in your two cents without him asking for it...I know it would me. He has a lot of things to work out...so let him deal with them...its how "we" operate..of course this is coming from a Virgal but its pretty much the same for the Virguys.

annnddd no Im not speaking on behalf of all the virgos in the world lol...its just the way I operate but I think most would agree

^^^ good god CC..

Posted by CluelessCancer

Posted by LostinmyMind11
^^^ good god CC..

LMAO that's what i would do if i met the right man..seriously...nobody has made me want to give my total self...my giving soul..is hidden.

click to expand

I understand buuuuttt...


thats my vibe I get after all that LOL

Every Virgo is different...me, yeah it would drive me crazy for someone to be all up into my bubble lol
its one thing to do nice things...its another to go over board. hes not a child..he can take care of himself sometimes.

Posted by CluelessCancer

Posted by LostinmyMind11
Every Virgo is different...me, yeah it would drive me crazy for someone to be all up into my bubble lol
its one thing to do nice things...its another to go over board. hes not a child..he can take care of himself sometimes.

Yes of course, but if i had issues with my car and was in a work accident, i would want him to be there all the way, financially, mentally, and emotionally.

of course we all can do things by ourselves, we can live our whole lives by ourselves, but IDK, what's the point in being a relationship?

click to expand

Yeah that's how you'd want things...the other person may feel completely different. Most guys dont want their women being the hero...it takes their ego down a couple notches..and they dont care for feeling emasculated in a sense.

CC you crack me up. Cause sure, the cancer in me could take care of him easily but I agree with Lost in my Mind11, it would be like insulting his manhood.

I drive 110 miles round trip for work. I need my car. That's not gonna happen.
Sure I'd help him if he was a husband not just a boyfriend. It would impact me. But financially, I am not offering if he is not asking and even if he asked, I'd consider the impact on me first.

He has a momma who can baby him. I am not gonna rub his feet. He is injured not dying.

If he is able to man up and keep working with a sprained ankle, he will get through it. lol If I solve everything for him, who's the man in the relationship? I thought Virgo men like to come to the rescue not be rescued.

I will let him be. Mostly just wondering if trying to maintain some communication with him at this time would be good idea - I know he compartmentalizes his life. I've seen him be with me but his mind going over an argument he had with his father. In the moment with me but yet replaying an event with his son and fretting over his actions.

I don't want to add more to his plate by saying, "yo dude, you ignoring me" At the same time, I don't like wondering why he isn't talking. My imagination it expansive.

He has been doing so good too the last 2 months - I've think we talked every day since the beginning of May.

I am not going to press (ok, at least that is my intended goal). I don't want to call him because I know he is working. I've texted him good morning and hope all is well. I figure he got it.

Would I be expecting the disappearing until he gets all the stress solved? I get the sense he handles stress by shutting down and closing everyone off.

And a part of me hates that I'm on the everyone list and not on the inside. A part of me respects him for the way he is - a stubborn mule and a part of me gets aggravated because the problem solver in me wants to get involved but he won't ask.

Posted by LostinmyMind11

Posted by CluelessCancer

Posted by LostinmyMind11
^^^ good god CC..

LMAO that's what i would do if i met the right man..seriously...nobody has made me want to give my total self...my giving soul..is hidden.

I understand buuuuttt...


thats my vibe I get after all that LOL

click to expand

lol LLM I like the thought behind that picture! Have to keep that one to remind myself if I ever get the tendency to be to much for someone. Aaaahh, just love the way Virgo's come up with things like that.

"I thought Virgo men like to come to the rescue not be rescued."
true..at least this is what I think

"I will let him be. Mostly just wondering if trying to maintain some communication with him at this time would be good idea - I know he compartmentalizes his life. I've seen him be with me but his mind going over an argument he had with his father. In the moment with me but yet replaying an event with his son and fretting over his actions"
Yes we over analyze stuff like this..till we solve it or come to the conclusion that there is nothing that can be done.

"Would I be expecting the disappearing until he gets all the stress solved? I get the sense he handles stress by shutting down and closing everyone off."
More than likely yes. I tend to push everyone away when dealing with stress of whatever sort..yeah its not fair to other people..but if I dont..Idk what will happen to be quite honest.
Dont be afraid to communicate with him..let him know you are there for him..with out being obsessive about it. While hes in his funk...go out do stuff for yourself or go out with friends...once hes done...he'll come back around...if this is really the only reason he's has disappeared for a bit...which IMO it is...thats a lot of things to take on for one person

Posted by Europesaggy

Posted by LostinmyMind11

Posted by CluelessCancer

Posted by LostinmyMind11
^^^ good god CC..

LMAO that's what i would do if i met the right man..seriously...nobody has made me want to give my total self...my giving soul..is hidden.

I understand buuuuttt...


thats my vibe I get after all that LOL

lol LLM I like the thought behind that picture! Have to keep that one to remind myself if I ever get the tendency to be to much for someone. Aaaahh, just love the way Virgo's come up with things like that.

click to expand

LOL 😉

Maybe some virguys will come in here soon and give you their perspective or RA...she knows her virguys lol.

I like the way you think though ChrisNews...you dont sound like a typical cancer woman (yes you have your cancer thoughts) but I feel your genuineness in your post and that you actually do get your virguy more than you may think...its refreshing 🙂

My vitals - sun in cancer - stuff like that? lol I never remember those - mainly because I can never remember what each one means.
I got this from an astrology site:
Sun - Cancer
Moon - Cancer
Mercury - Cancer
Venus - Leo
March - Cancer
Jupiter - Libra

I am a true cancer - so one said who worked for an astrology website once.

I've been reading up on virgo's -- when he tells me "I am really like my virgo sign" - wise woman in me says, ok - go learn about virgo men.

My brother is one, my sister too and my daughter. And apart from my sister and daughter both liking to shop I don't think anyone of them have anything in common.
The boyfriend says he can see the virgo in my daughter. OK, I say.

Yet I read that virgos have good memories -- he does not. He even admits that. So far he has not critiqued me, except to say he notices a white hair in my head. I have a ton - if I don't dye it.
He does do the disappear/appear act, he is kind and polite, says he will stay cool, won't argue with me, and is very sweet with words.
He tells me he is not a player and is faithful and I believe him.
He is for sure a workaholic and is one of those people who never missed a day of school. Yuck.

I am direct, and tend to speak my mind. I do get moody and when I do, I try to hide myself, sometimes hide from myself. lol

Wow...that's alllllot of cancer in your chart lol.

I actually dont have a good memory either to be honest...I forget quite a bit of things. For me, I think its because my mind is constantly running that it pushes certain things out of my mind, which makes room for other things...if that makes sense.

I have a good memory when it comes to stuff that is important to me. Other stuff I will forget.
He has a bad memory. I always tell him, if it is important you, you will put it in the handy calendar app you have on your phone. I've told him, you didn't forget your court date 2 months ago - and he said "but that was important, that was about my license" and so I responded, so you only remember important dates. So if you forget a date, it is not that important to you.

unfair I know. lol
That was about a month ago when we were having a conversation about his ex's - they all have been cancer and the fact that I am cancer too. (well he only mentions 2 - so I am assuming he's only been in 2 relationships that were important to him)
We talked of my birthday - I told him when it was 7/3.

He said all cancers are crazy.

I would not call myself crazy, passionate maybe but not crazy. lol

LostinmyMind11 is spot on. Speaking as a Virgo guy, I like to wallow in my own suffering, disappointment, stress,etc. a bit without any coddling. Much like Scorpios, I enjoy punishing myself a bit before I feel better. Weird, I know. I like to solve my own problems and suffer alone (unless I am married or with someone I reaaaaalllyy trust). My burden is my burden - not anyone else's. We (Virguys) hate to feel dependent on others...whether it's physically, mentally or emotionally. Just sit back and be the best supportive friend you can be. He'll come around. Personally, a woman who can make me laugh will always capture my heart. Make him laugh or do something that will distract him from his problems a bit. Don't be clingy or creepy like that psycho chick in that meme. LMAO!

Posted by Virg916
LostinmyMind11 is spot on. Speaking as a Virgo guy, I like to wallow in my own suffering, disappointment, stress,etc. a bit without any coddling. Much like Scorpios, I enjoy punishing myself a bit before I feel better. Weird, I know. I like to solve my own problems and suffer alone (unless I am married or with someone I reaaaaalllyy trust). My burden is my burden - not anyone else's. We (Virguys) hate to feel dependent on others...whether it's physically, mentally or emotionally. Just sit back and be the best supportive friend you can be. He'll come around. Personally, a woman who can make me laugh will always capture my heart. Make him laugh or do something that will distract him from his problems a bit. Don't be clingy or creepy like that psycho chick in that meme. LMAO!

ahhh yes that (for me though I prefer a guy hahaha)!

Your life is hardly in shambles.

She probably wanted to spend time with you...Im sure she was more than capable to look for her own apt.
and you probably made a big deal with the virguy, so he said forget it and backed out

and no we arent just using you!
you need to get over that...geez CC

Posted by starlover
^^ i have found Virgos never use people at all

Agreed. I would never do something like that.

CC is just being dramatic as always lol

Posted by ChrisNews
I have a good memory when it comes to stuff that is important to me. Other stuff I will forget.
He has a bad memory. I always tell him, if it is important you, you will put it in the handy calendar app you have on your phone. I've told him, you didn't forget your court date 2 months ago - and he said "but that was important, that was about my license" and so I responded, so you only remember important dates. So if you forget a date, it is not that important to you.

unfair I know. lol
That was about a month ago when we were having a conversation about his ex's - they all have been cancer and the fact that I am cancer too. (well he only mentions 2 - so I am assuming he's only been in 2 relationships that were important to him)
We talked of my birthday - I told him when it was 7/3.

He said all cancers are crazy.

I would not call myself crazy, passionate maybe but not crazy. lol

Oh I remember dates...but yeah if its not that important (to me) ill forget it...not that I'm trying to be ignorant on purpose.
I actually one year forgot my cancer friends bday..well I didnt forget so much as I told him a month early lol...I was all hey happy bday...he's like limm its next month..I argued...sure as shit. I felt so bad..but I honestly thought it was july not june...so I made sure to put it in my head to never do it again. I analyzed the whole situation and it really wasn't that big of a deal...just having a blonde moment but to it was lol

No all cancer aren't crazy...sometimes you do let your emotions take over ...as long its not an all the time thing..it not a big deal. If it every time we talk, argue etc...eventually ill bounce ..I just cant take all that all the time.

That is a very good question LilyTree. I"d like to know that too.

I did talk to him today - yeah I called. He did answer and we talked briefly. He sounded like he is dealing with all the stuff, and is stressing about money.

I wanted to talk about a lot of things but mostly I just listened and asked about his day. I joked with him that he has so much stuff going on I needed to flip the page over and keep taking notes.

My birthday is coming up. The dramatic cancer in me has already played the scene in my head where he forgot it until 2 days after. Yeah the full dramatic scene complete with tears has been played out. lol I haven't told him that. Haven't told anyone that. I do much of my cancer moody dramas in my own mind, and in my journals. I don't lash out. In fact I so rarely get upset that he says "you let me get away with murder." That is not a good thing.

lol I like to think that I am perhaps a bit like a swan on the pond - smooth and coasting on the water but if you ever look underneath, the feet are paddling like crazy. I do stay honest with him but he doesn't need to know how often I can fret and go through the dramatics called wanting attention but will never ask for it.

Deep down I know that is why I want to stay communicating with him this week. Because my birthday is next week and if I am truly honest with myself I want to have him with me - saves me from explaining to my family why he isn't. How do I say, I don't know maybe he forgot?
And then at the same time, I think this is something I do need to know. despite him telling me he loves me, am I important enough to him that he will remember my birthday without me reminding him? and if he forgets (like the scene I've already played - then what?)

I know I am making way too much of something that hasn't happened. I know. I know. lol it stays in my mind and in my journals.

Gee perhaps I too like to punish myself a bit before speaking up.

Give him the same advice everyone gives CluelessCancer. Stop bitching!

All that whining just brings more problems to you.

Posted by ChrisNews

My birthday is coming up. The dramatic cancer in me has already played the scene in my head where he forgot it until 2 days after. Yeah the full dramatic scene complete with tears has been played out. lol I haven't told him that. Haven't told anyone that. I do much of my cancer moody dramas in my own mind, and in my journals. I don't lash out. In fact I so rarely get upset that he says "you let me get away with murder." That is not a good thing.

lol I like to think that I am perhaps a bit like a swan on the pond - smooth and coasting on the water but if you ever look underneath, the feet are paddling like crazy. I do stay honest with him but he doesn't need to know how often I can fret and go through the dramatics called wanting attention but will never ask for it.


I know I am making way too much of something that hasn't happened. I know. I know. lol it stays in my mind and in my journals.

Gee perhaps I too like to punish myself a bit before speaking up.

HAHAHA literally laughing out loud while reading your share of story and how our minds operate the same way... 😆 😆 cancer woman here lol

@takahashi09 - glad to know I am not alone.

That was late night mind wandering out loud, lol.

Whatever happens, happens. I am going to be ok in the end - that much I know.

Sometimes I think if I had the manuscript to my life, I'd jump to the end and read about who is there, then go back and enjoy the journey more. Or not.

Posted by ChrisNews
@takahashi09 - glad to know I am not alone.

That was late night mind wandering out loud, lol.

Whatever happens, happens. I am going to be ok in the end - that much I know.

Sometimes I think if I had the manuscript to my life, I'd jump to the end and read about who is there, then go back and enjoy the journey more. Or not.

Yay. I'd like that at the same time I don't ... Spoilers. Haha. Anyway, I'm learning a lot from this forum and I say I'm also learning a lot from you. (i also read the virgo men thread xD) So... thanks!

Posted by Virg916
LostinmyMind11 is spot on. Speaking as a Virgo guy, I like to wallow in my own suffering, disappointment, stress,etc. a bit without any coddling. Much like Scorpios, I enjoy punishing myself a bit before I feel better. Weird, I know. I like to solve my own problems and suffer alone (unless I am married or with someone I reaaaaalllyy trust). My burden is my burden - not anyone else's. We (Virguys) hate to feel dependent on others...whether it's physically, mentally or emotionally. Just sit back and be the best supportive friend you can be. He'll come around. Personally, a woman who can make me laugh will always capture my heart. Make him laugh or do something that will distract him from his problems a bit. Don't be clingy or creepy like that psycho chick in that meme. LMAO!

So that's why. My Virgo friend is just like that. I was always the one to open up when it comes to my problems and he's always been there for me. I swear he can understand me in a way that no one else can. I have always assured him that he can lean on me, too. That I am always here for him as well. He just doesn't. And when he does, its mostly the most general idea of what's currently happening to him and then he assures me that he'll be fine and I should not worry about him. I always think of him as a strong man. Though there was a time I felt he was having a really hard time but he just didn't manage to appear in my world and so I let him be that way, if he felt that way. You're right , he came back. he always does. but surely he always take a lot of time. Oh Virgos. 🙂

update:
He remembered my birthday. And was the first to call me and wish my happy birthday. Yep at 625am. Talked for about 15 minutes. I vaguely remember what was said, I was still asleep. but I do remember his sweet birthday wish.

lol so much for him forgetting and the made up drama in my head. He has to work so I won't be having him around today. Its ok though I am going to enjoy doing nothing.

Hard to stay mad at a virgo when the release the virgo charm.