When a Virgo Shoots You Down

Dated an older Libra with his intention of pursuing a relationship.

The chemistry was wonderful (on the surface. He looks calm and ready), but I handed him the adage “I think we should be friends.”

He stopped speaking to me for a few weeks (understandable). We reconnected recently, but there was no moment of awkwardness and the chemistry remained intact.

Hung out with him and his son a couple days ago (first time hanging out with his son) and I honestly had a great time. It was endearing to see him interact with his son. Damn his Libra charm.

I have an inkling he’s still pursuing after I’ve told him no. My instinct is to chalk it off to friendship, but his actions state otherwise.

Oh my point? How do you typically handle someone who’s said no? And vice versa.

This is typical Virgo behavior 😄 don't worry i get stuck in the same situation

@Lilianni

Typical in what sense?

Posted by Seraphlight

Posted by Virgorean
@Lilianni

Typical in what sense?

He is living in hope. Romantically speaking.

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She pointed out a Virgo's behavior. I'm the Virgo, he's a Libra.

Posted by awkwardPMsfromstrangers
never happened

As in you shot her down or she shot you down?

Y'all are too vague, I'm a Virgo FCOL. Give me details.

Posted by yupvirgoo
I'm a little confused.

Are you asking fellow Virgos how they turn down someone?

coz if you are... well then, i just disappear on them.

Poof Houdini style .

Nope. I am asking how do you deal with someone who is being persistent with you after you've turned them down. And vice versa, how do you deal with someone who has turned you down? Will you continue the chase?

I hope that is more clear. My mistake.

Posted by yupvirgoo

Posted by Virgorean

Posted by yupvirgoo
I'm a little confused.

Are you asking fellow Virgos how they turn down someone?

coz if you are... well then, i just disappear on them.

Poof Houdini style .

Nope. I am asking how do you deal with someone who is being persistent with you after you've turned them down. And vice versa, how do you deal with someone who has turned you down? Will you continue the chase?

I hope that is more clear. My mistake.

when ive already rejected someone and they won't go away, i avoid them, block them, disappear on them and pretend they don't exist

when someone rejects me, i try to be a friend but they think it's awkward so we just disappear on each other lol

im very persistent tho but some people have a finality and animosity about them when they reject you so when im faced with that, i pretty much just disappear

honestly, disappearing is mostly my answer to all these

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On your first part, was this before or after your wife? The rejection and blocking is understandable if it was after. Do men not like a woman who persists?

Per the second part, I can agree. I believe if the chemistry is natural that a friendship after rejection can flourish.

As for the last part, my initial reaction is to disappear, but I've been working on communicating because I believe it puts the both of us at ease.

Posted by Seraphlight

Posted by Virgorean

Posted by Seraphlight

Posted by Virgorean
@Lilianni

Typical in what sense?

He is living in hope. Romantically speaking.

She pointed out a Virgo's behavior. I'm the Virgo, he's a Libra.

I still say the same.

click to expand

Or maybe I am falsely giving hope by remaining to be in contact with him. I can't quite determine if Libras are persistent since there's only been two, but from my experience rejection fueled their fire.

Posted by yupvirgoo

Posted by Virgorean

Posted by yupvirgoo

Posted by Virgorean

Posted by yupvirgoo
I'm a little confused.

Are you asking fellow Virgos how they turn down someone?

coz if you are... well then, i just disappear on them.

Poof Houdini style .

Nope. I am asking how do you deal with someone who is being persistent with you after you've turned them down. And vice versa, how do you deal with someone who has turned you down? Will you continue the chase?

I hope that is more clear. My mistake.

when ive already rejected someone and they won't go away, i avoid them, block them, disappear on them and pretend they don't exist

when someone rejects me, i try to be a friend but they think it's awkward so we just disappear on each other lol

im very persistent tho but some people have a finality and animosity about them when they reject you so when im faced with that, i pretty much just disappear

honestly, disappearing is mostly my answer to all these

On your first part, was this before or after your wife? The rejection and blocking is understandable if it was after. Do men not like a woman who persists?

Per the second part, I can agree. I believe if the chemistry is natural that a friendship after rejection can flourish.

As for the last part, my initial reaction is to disappear, but I've been working on communicating because I believe it puts the both of us at ease.

Before and after my wife.

I've never minded a persistent woman before my marriage.

But then again, I've always liked women with a rather... strong personality.

My wife is a Leo moon with a Leo rising rising after all and I am a Leo venus.

I prefer persistent and demanding women.

I'm not sure about other men though.

*shrugs

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I know why you like demanding women. It's because you're a Virgo and you're tired of being in control all the time 😉

Posted by BuffaloBills28
Shut me down all you like, it's not like I know how to send computer viruses or anything.. lol

Gotta appreciate a man who challenges 😉

Posted by Seraphlight

Posted by Virgorean

Posted by Seraphlight

Posted by Virgorean

Posted by Seraphlight

Posted by Virgorean
@Lilianni

Typical in what sense?

He is living in hope. Romantically speaking.

She pointed out a Virgo's behavior. I'm the Virgo, he's a Libra.

I still say the same.

Or maybe I am falsely giving hope by remaining to be in contact with him. I can't quite determine if Libras are persistent since there's only been two, but from my experience rejection fueled their fire.

It could be. I was in situation where I had to see a libran every day after a break up. We were in college doing the same degree. So it wasn't really a choice.

It was painful for us both initially. But we past that after a couple of weeks. And just became good friends. He is happily with someone else now.

But go with your gut ..if he is bothering you..just don't have him in your life. Delete him number or ...block him etc...if you are getting those vibes.

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He actually isn't bothering me. I enjoy his company.

Posted by tiziani
That happened to me with a Virgo once and it was cool.

She understood that I asked her out because it was what I wanted to do, and I understood she didn't want that. We talkedas normal after. If anything it was comforting to know we were straightforward with one another and cared with no ambiguity.

Then another Virgo, for years we we friends though she would mess with the boundaries. But always patient. Then one year she moves to London and just because I can't meet her when she asked, she blocked and deleted me from everything and didn't tell me when she changed her number (shrugs)

So I've been on both sides as a Libra.

Did you talk normally immediately after or did you have a period of distance to get over the hurt? Did you pursue her after the rejection or was it a one and done deal?

Did the second Virgo and you acknowledgedon't each other's feelings before she moved? I assume that's the boundaries part.

Posted by Seraphlight
And one who was persistent with a virgo..but she never turned him down...he more held out inspite of obstacles..but she was into him too though...

How is their relationship now?

Posted by tiziani

Posted by Virgorean

Posted by tiziani
That happened to me with a Virgo once and it was cool.

She understood that I asked her out because it was what I wanted to do, and I understood she didn't want that. We talkedas normal after. If anything it was comforting to know we were straightforward with one another and cared with no ambiguity.

Then another Virgo, for years we we friends though she would mess with the boundaries. But always patient. Then one year she moves to London and just because I can't meet her when she asked, she blocked and deleted me from everything and didn't tell me when she changed her number (shrugs)

So I've been on both sides as a Libra.

Did you talk normally immediately after or did you have a period of distance to get over the hurt? Did you pursue her after the rejection or was it a one and done deal?

Did the second Virgo and you acknowledgedon't each other's feelings before she moved? I assume that's the boundaries part.

We talked normally, no gaps. It was always organic.

On the second one we knew each other since high school through college and after. So we're talking all kinds of things like her writing long letters to sleeping in the same bed. We never talked about feelings.

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Long term friendship with a Virgo and she went cold turkey on you. That is harsh. I'd think her feelings were too deep for you that she couldn't handle the rejection and rather than communicate she'd ghost.

What I admire about this Libra is he calls me out on certain actions. We're a bit polar though, He wears his heart on his sleeve and I don't reveal my emotions. He at least respects that.

Posted by yupvirgoo

Posted by tiziani
That happened to me with a Virgo once and it was cool.

She understood that I asked her out because it was what I wanted to do, and I understood she didn't want that. We talkedas normal after. If anything it was comforting to know we were straightforward with one another and cared with no ambiguity.

Then another Virgo, for years we we friends though she would mess with the boundaries. But always patient. Then one year she moves to London and just because I can't meet her when she asked, she blocked and deleted me from everything and didn't tell me when she changed her number (shrugs)

So I've been on both sides as a Libra.

coz it's easier to forget people when we pretend they don't exist you know

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Does that not come off as disrespectful?

A decade of knowing someone and you vanish is implying to that person he/she isn't worth a single word.

Posted by yupvirgoo

Posted by Virgorean

Posted by yupvirgoo

Posted by tiziani
That happened to me with a Virgo once and it was cool.

She understood that I asked her out because it was what I wanted to do, and I understood she didn't want that. We talkedas normal after. If anything it was comforting to know we were straightforward with one another and cared with no ambiguity.

Then another Virgo, for years we we friends though she would mess with the boundaries. But always patient. Then one year she moves to London and just because I can't meet her when she asked, she blocked and deleted me from everything and didn't tell me when she changed her number (shrugs)

So I've been on both sides as a Libra.

coz it's easier to forget people when we pretend they don't exist you know

Does that not come off as disrespectful?

A decade of knowing someone and you vanish is implying to that person he/she isn't worth a single word.

I know that.

But I've never been good in ending relationships.

I don't like confrontations- especially ones involving emotions.

Disappearance should say enough.

Plus when they do catch me somehow when I'm in my trying to be invisible, I am so friendly and polite that they just find it awkward so THEY avoid me.

So in the end, it always works in my favor.

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I've never understood it. In a long term relationship being for friendship or for love, the person meant something to you in that duration. But when you decide to remove yourself from it unbeknownst to him/her that relationship means nothing to you.

I am non-confrontational also. I am the type to rarely express my emotions and I internalize a lot. I have been told plenty of times that I am a hard person to read because of it. But to a certain degree communication is important. You are alright with having the person you cut out of your life ponder in their realm of thoughts of what have I done to deserve this? I am straightfoward with my final decision. If I cut you out of my life I will let you know and all it takes is a sentence. At least then we will both be at peace.

It's interesting because I was having a similar conversation with my Pisces friend the other night since I was trying to get into her mindset of her actions. When someone slights her, she'd rather let the relationship die rather than confront the person. I persistently asked why not try to communicate with said person? She complains that she has tried all she can to maintain the relationship, but when I asked her 'Have you actually tried to communicate to the person your feelings about the situation?' Her response was 'What's the point? This is the type of person he/she will always be.' She's basing their actions off assumptions-very judgmental. A lot of her relationships could have been saved had she communicated. People seem to think that confronting a situation has to be hostile when it doesn't need to be at all.

Posted by yupvirgoo

Posted by Virgorean

Posted by yupvirgoo

Posted by Virgorean

Posted by yupvirgoo

Posted by tiziani
That happened to me with a Virgo once and it was cool.

She understood that I asked her out because it was what I wanted to do, and I understood she didn't want that. We talkedas normal after. If anything it was comforting to know we were straightforward with one another and cared with no ambiguity.

Then another Virgo, for years we we friends though she would mess with the boundaries. But always patient. Then one year she moves to London and just because I can't meet her when she asked, she blocked and deleted me from everything and didn't tell me when she changed her number (shrugs)

So I've been on both sides as a Libra.

coz it's easier to forget people when we pretend they don't exist you know

Does that not come off as disrespectful?

A decade of knowing someone and you vanish is implying to that person he/she isn't worth a single word.

I know that.

But I've never been good in ending relationships.

I don't like confrontations- especially ones involving emotions.

Disappearance should say enough.

Plus when they do catch me somehow when I'm in my trying to be invisible, I am so friendly and polite that they just find it awkward so THEY avoid me.

So in the end, it always works in my favor.

I've never understood it. In a long term relationship being for friendship or for love, the person meant something to you in that duration. But when you decide to remove yourself from it unbeknownst to him/her that relationship means nothing to you.

I am non-confrontational also. I am the type to rarely express my emotions and I internalize a lot. I have been told plenty of times that I am a hard person to read because of it. But to a certain degree communication is important. You are alright with having the person you cut out of your life ponder in their realm of thoughts of what have I done to deserve this? I am straightfoward with my final decision. If I cut you out of my life I will let you know and all it takes is a sentence. At least then we will both be at peace.

It's interesting because I was having a similar conversation with my Pisces friend the other night since I was trying to get into her mindset of her actions. When someone slights her, she'd rather let the relationship die rather than confront the person. I persistently asked why not try to communicate with said person? She complains that she has tried all she can to maintain the relationship, but when I asked her 'Have you actually tried to communicate to the person your feelings about the situation?' Her response was 'What's the point? This is the type of person he/she will always be.' She's basing their actions off assumptions-very judgmental. A lot of her relationships could have been saved had she communicated. People seem to think that confronting a situation has to be hostile when it doesn't need to be at all.

I don't like to confront people and try to force them to see my way of doing things. I honestly believe that people will do whatever they want anyway, regardless of what I do and say. I may be persistent for awhile but I don't like to force anything or anyone.

What a person chooses do without my say is for me... their natural and genuine inclination. Why should I stop them when they're just trying to be true to themselves?

And if the consequences of their actions come to haunt them, well...... *shrugs

Let lessons be served.

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Confronting has a negative connotation to it. And I guess that's where we see it differently. I don't see it as force. I see it as two people sharing their perspectives. And it's up to each other to accept that view or not.

What if they genuinely do not know their actions are harmful? How are they to know if it hasn't been brought up as a problem before because it has been passively dismissed? Then to me fault lays at the passive person who refused to bring it to light and rather have it build into resentment.

Posted by Virgorean
@Lilianni

Typical in what sense?

typical as in a Virgo approaches a relationship, the relationship might happen, ends up deciding to just stay friends because the relationship doesn't seem to have a future, the other person continues to pursue a relationship, Virgo still doesn't want one and is confused now..

Posted by Lilianni

Posted by Virgorean
@Lilianni

Typical in what sense?

typical as in a Virgo approaches a relationship, the relationship might happen, ends up deciding to just stay friends because the relationship doesn't seem to have a future, the other person continues to pursue a relationship, Virgo still doesn't want one and is confused now..

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This is so true