Why do Virgo men dissappear without a reason

I dont understand this, im a Virgo woman & my man is a virgo, he may be going through alot in his life right now, but he just totally disconnected himself from me...our reltionship was fine until now, he said he loves me, which i know as a virgo was very hard for him to disclose to me...but my question is...is this a virgo trait, because being a virgo myself i dont show my love to someone in this manner

Have to agree with CapGirl ... many men have come in here to say that their Virgo woman has disappeared without a reason.

However, I don't believe that to be entirely true ... perhaps, at face-value, it appears to be true .. but, not really.

Just because a person doesn't voice a reason, doesn't mean there isn't one.

Okay...we just totally skipped the question...let me say it again Why do Virgo men disappear ?.....as far as my past thats exactly what it is the past....i really need to know this from a fellow Virgo, because they know themselves better then anyone else

And being a Virgo women i can say that i never left someone that i love without a reason, i know how it feels so i make it my business to let my mate know if its not working...no one wants to be hurt.

LMAO

It is funny how everybody keeps saying the same thing about virgos when they start a thread...

and I still don't get why they disappear, they're just weird...

It is my understanding that he is in contact with you via texts ... that isn't really leaving a person without a trace.

What is happening here is that you have a certain expectation of how you believe he should behave within this union .. and if he doesn't the it means that something is wrong.

Didn't you say that he's still contacting you, just not on the phone or in person?

To fix this .. you are going to have to take-back your attitude of attempting to lay guilt on him. I don't mean apologize for you getting upset over him being late for your date ... I'm talking about you contacting him with a tone to suggest that he hasn't lived up to your expectation, and therefore, this must certainly mean that he doesn't want to be with you.

You can't talk to a Virgo like that in a relationship ... are you trying to confuse the hell out of him? Virgo's are naturally handicapped in the emotional area of a relationship as it is, without their partner attempting to dictate what their actions must mean as it's relative on the emotional level. Everytime you do that .. you fuck him up even more.

You have to think about this from his perspective .... what if it were the other way around? What if you got a message from him accusing you of not showing him that you care about him? This would send you into your circuits over-loading, and leave you completely baffled .. so, confused that you wouldn't even know what to say to him and would therefore, likely not respond.

You can't do that to a Virgo, cumngetme. The reason why he's pulled away is likely because you have him so confused, he doesn't even know what to say to you. Send him another message .. this time, don't project a tone to suggest that he needs to change how he's relating to you (for now) .. first you have to unconfuse him.

"they think as "love" is nothing but fullfillment of their needs from others"


Don't let yourself get fooled, CapGirl, into believing this is just a female malady ..... soon, you'll be married to one, and you need to face this fact right now. The above quote is relative to both genders.

OSG .. the answer is in the above quote of CapGirls ..

Some people have to completely REMOVE themselves from a situation in order to get their head together or heal (Usually a Virgos way of dealing with something)
WHILE
OTHERS
Would prefer to completely stay in a situation & get their head together because they know that if they completely leave, there's a chance the door might not ever open again
AND THEN
You have those who stick one foot out of the door, but keep their head in.

Like she said, it's not just about VIRGOS doing this, Men & women do this. And knowing how someone choses to do with hard times or stressful situations (either 1-3 above) is important to know.

Me? I'm an Aquarious & I personally prefer to remove myself from the situation when it gets bad, but only when it comes to work, friendships, jobs, etc. BUT when it comes to relationships, family & true loved ones, I always find myself wanting to stay in the situation because I feel it in a way shows courage & shows how much fight I had in me to make it work

Hahahaha .. that was funny, SG 🙂

When I said that, I had in mind where all this started ... and it was a mis-understanding (which was described on the other thread). She got upset over something small, and instead of him taking it in it's smallness, it meant something huge to him because of emotional distress he was having in his personal life. He backed off a tad because of his turmoil, which wasn't caused by her, but, was erroneously assessed by him that she had caused harm .. because he was unable to let it slid off his back the way he should. Once he got his knickers up over this mis-understanding, she launched a message to him, putting words in his mouth about how his actions must be an indication of how he feels about her .. which was in error .. his actions happened because of emotional truama in his personal life, and he only projected this onto her because he's stressed out.

Like I said ... just a mis-understanding .. totally fixable.

Okay CAP-GIRL LETS GET THIS STRAIGHT, YOU COULD KNOW WHO I AM AS A PERSON DEEP INSIDE, I DO NOT MUNIPULATE ANYONE AND MOST CAPRICORNS THINK THEY HAVE ALL THE ANSWERS ANYWAY AND THAT'S SIMPLY NOT THE CASE, IM NOT SURE WHAT EXPERIENCES YOU HAVE SEEN OR WENT THROUGH WITH A VIRGO, BUT I HAVE A HEART AND I NEVER TRY TO GET ANYTHING FROM PEOPLE BY BEING SLICK & USE MY "CHILD" OH PLEASE, I CAN REMEMBER ALWAYS BEING THE ONE TO GET HURT IN A RELATIONSHIP BECAUSE I GIVE MY ALL THE KEY WORD IS "GIVE" & FRANKLY IM TIRED OF GIVING ALL OF MYSELF IN A RELATIONSHIP AND BEING TAKEN FOR GRANTED, SO WHATEVER YOU THINK YOU KNOW ABOUT A VIRGO "YOU DONT"
BLAH...BLAH...BLAH...IS REALLY WHAT I WAS GETTING FROM YOUR STATEMENT....I DO NOT CLAIM TO BE THE VICTIM ALL OF THE TIME YES I HAVE DONE MY SHARE OF THINGS JUST LIKE ANY OTHER HUMAN BEING ON THIS EARTH...BUT PLEASE DO ME THIS FAVOR AND DONT JUDGE PEOPLE BY YOUR PAST AND PERSONAL EXPERIENCES.

AND FURTHUR MORE MOST PEOPLE WHO THINK AND TRY TO HAVE OTHER PEOPLE'S LIFES DOWN PACK ARE USUALLY THE ONES WHO DONT WANT TO TAKE TIME TO LOOK AT THEMSELVES AND THERE OWN PERSONAL ISSUES, THEY WOULD RATHER POINT OUT OTHER PEOPLES FLAWS & WHILE WE ARE TALKING ABOUT FLAWS I HAPPEN TO KNOW THAT CAPRICORNS DON TEVEN KNOW HOW TO FIT IN AT ALL THEY ALWAYS SAY THE WRONG THINGS AT THE WRONG TIME & IN MOST SITUATION PEOPLE HAVE TO GIVE THEM A DIRTY LOOK JUST TO LET THEM KNOW THAT THE COMMENT THEY MADE WAS UNACCEPTABLE & YOU GUYS ARE NOT VERY SECURE ABOUT THE THINGS YOU DO TO PEOPLE AS WELL YOU ALWAYS SECOND GUESS YOURSELF...SO PLEASE, I CAN WRITE SOME MORE ON THIS SUBJECT BUT I NEED TO BACK MY OWN ISSUE... yES IM THINKING ABOUT ME FOR A CHANGE...THOSE DAAAAMN VIRGOS ONLY THINK ABOUT THEMSELVES....YEAH RIGHT !!!!!! ONLY WHEN WE WERE NOT THINKING ABOUT OTHER PEOPLES PROBLEMS

"PA: Why are you suggesting sending more messages? Leave him alone for a while, let him miss and WORRY for her. Only after they worry they feel comfortable 😉."

Agreed under normal circumstances .. and I don't mean for her to send a slew of messages .. just one to clear up the mis-understanding, and then sit back and let him fret. The problem is that IF she lets him stew over a mis-understanding ... then he won't be worrying about the wrong intentions.

"then he won't be worrying about the wrong intentions."


Ooops, that's not what I meant .. you know what I meant.

great minds think alike
********
Ya that's a possibility!
I find it strange though...

cumngetme .. CapGirl is right in the aspect that you need to let him worry. To sort out the emotional terms of a partnership for a Virgo consists of worrying/fretting .. this is how the mind works.

However, I fear that he might be worrying about the wrong things here. You should have him worrying about whether he is good enough for you, since this will be his natural tendancy anyway .. instead of worrying over why he thought he was good enough for you in the first place, since you told him that he wasn't manning-up.

That may seem backwards to you, and it does to me ... but, that is the male Virgo.

agree with star...

have a great day you all!


U too SG.. Take care...

Agreed, also .... another thing, this is normal for a Virgo.

You may not agree, cumngetme, because you are one ... however, probably 60% of threads started in here (probably more like 80% ) .. are saying this exact thing.


The Virgo pulled away from me and went missing for no reason.


So, I just wanted to let you know that by him being distant with you is perfectly normal within the Virgo nature in the beginning of a relationship.

Okay CAP-GIRL LETS GET THIS STRAIGHT, YOU DO NOT KNOW WHO I AM AS A PERSON DEEP INSIDE,.....I HAVE ALOT OF CONFIDENCE IN KNOWING HOW I FEEL AND WHAT IM TALKING ABOUT, I JUST HAVE A PROBLEM WHEN PEOPLE ARE NOT OPEN TO LEARN OTHER PEOPLE WITHOUT MAKING JUDGEMENTS ABOUT THEM....ANYWAY THIS IS TAKING UP TOO MUCH OF MY TIME AND ENERGY.....I HAVE TO MOVE ON.....BLAH BLAH BLAH...REMEMBER...LOL

Cumngetme: No one can say why a person disappears only the person that disappears
Thank you for the input i needed that you were straight to the point and that's what i needed...you are right only he can tell me whats going on...im just hurting right now....

Looks like one more virgo started to copy my words! I must be very effective on virgo nerves!!!

LOL

I'm really not sure what it is you are looking for, cumngetme.

He contacts you via text often, you said, and tells you he loves you.

I don't think you realize how fortunuate you are in this fact.

i am going to start by saying i only have experience with 2 virgos in my life, one a female friend and one a male that i dated recently. in fact i was on here late novemberish asking the exact same question about the male. I apologize for what you are going through an i realize how painful it is because i went through it too, and still to a small degree now as well.

My female friend and i have known each other my whole life, and have been really close!!! We spent tons of time together for years and then one day snap something went wrong. I would take it personally like it was something i did, but she also did this to our other best friend, her family and other friends at the same time. She is obviously going through something and does not feel comfortable with us to be her true self, which we think is a lesbian. We may be wrong, but we have felt this way for several years, never had a problem at all with it. Anyway, the point is, my friend has been dealing with something very personal and i am sure difficult and just can not be around us because she cant be herself. She ignores calls, or she falls through on plans all the time. She will call once a year on a birthday and take one of us out, and she is just like she used to be but...but it is rare.

The male on the other hand seemed to just over night go away. He himself told me that when he feels like he is getting close he backs off and freaks out. Lame excuse for sure, but seeing as he kinda told me about this a few weeks before he even pulled away i have to believe him. Of course we had an argument, but nothing explosive or traumatic, just a discussion and the pulling away happened pretty much a few days later. The more i contacted the more i was ignored. When he contacted me after i stoped trying he would contact me, make plans, and then go missing again. Its irritating, believe me i agree. But i have come to realize that when they are scared, when they are confused, in turmoil, or trying to figure out if the feelings they have for you are ok because you are not perfect, well the go away. When you talk to them and see them again, they act totally normal.
It is not you it is him. Trust me. If a guy does not have the balls to tell someone they are no longer interested, then they have serious maturational issues. His way of handling what ever he is trying to get a handle on ma not be our style because they are painful and we dont live in that matter when it comes to ending a r

relationship, but they do. My point is the more we contact the further they swim. It is a crappy feeling to reach out to someone who seems to not want it.
Because this is such a common topic and from my personal experience, it is obvious that they handle "crisis" in retreat without a word. Or if i am wrong, then unfortunatly we have all been lucky enough to date scum bags who happened to be virgos

I think that you just have to have alot of patience when it comes to virgos, which is something I would like to do, but I don't think I can...

i agree you do have to have a lot of patience, but there is patience and there is push over...

exactly...

ONCE AGAIN...


That's because you all put up with that bullshyt. They wouldn't pull stunts like that if you didn't put up with it.

When they try that with me, I say, "Fuck you, pussy. You never existed." By my actions, not words. I have no words for selfish losers.

oh of course, I'm not no fool...

that virgo chapter is through...

ooh I just busta rhyme... 🙂

I was responding to the title of the thread. I seldom read through threads. lol

oops my bad 🙂

OH CAPGIRL....CAPGIRL...YOU KNOW NOT WHO YOUR DEALING WITH, I AM NOT YOUR ORDINARY VIRGO THAT WILL BACK DOWN BECAUSE SOMEONE THINKS THAT THEY KNOW EVERYTHING....YEAH EVERYTHING YOUR SAYING ON THIS MESSAGE BOARD SOUNDS GOOD, BUT IT DOESNT MEAN IT IS GOOD...AS FAR AS MY RELATIONSHIP GOES I KNOW I HAVE FLAWS, AND I HAVE MADE MISTAKES, THIS IS JUST MY OPINION BUT I DONT FEEL LIKE YOUR OWN HERE TO TRY TO GIVE GOOD SOLID ADVICE..."IT'S ALL IN YOUR APROACH"...EVERYONE ELSE SEEMS VERY COMPASSIONATE AND EAGER TO GIVE ME ADVICE.....AND AS FAR AS ASTROLOGY GOES..."HERE WE GO AGAIN" WITH YOU MAKING JUDGEMENTS, BECAUSE YOU DONT FEEL A CERTAIN WAY...YOU BASICALLY CALLED ME AND EVERYONE ELSE WHO BELIEVES IN ASTROLOGY "STUPID".....I THINK ASTROLOGY HITS ON SOME GOOD POINTS,BUT AGAIN THAT'S JUST MY OPINION..."WHY CAN'T YOU JUST HAVE ONE OF THOSE LIKE EVERYONE ELSE

SORRY TO BREAK THE NEW TO YOU...BUT YOUR WORD IS NOT LAW !!!!!!!!!!!!!

CAPGIRL....TAKING MY ANGER OUT ON YOU, I DONT THINK SO, NOT AGREEING WITH YOU IS MORE LIKE IT.....OKAY NOW THAT I GOT ALL MY "NOT AGREEING OUT ON YOU....LOL, I CAN MOVE ON

OKAY CAPGIRL...NOW YOUR ARE TAKING SH*T TO FAR....IF SOMEONE ELSE FEELS SOME COMPASSION FOR ME MIND YOUR BUSINESS, YOU DONT HAVE TO WANT THE BEST FOR ME...NOW YOU CAME TOO FAR OUT OF YOUR PLACE, AND IM GOING TO HAVE TO GIVE YOU A TIME OUT AND SEND YOU TO THE CORNER "LITTLE GIRL"...HA HA HA...LIKE YOU WOULD SAY...LOL

AND THE ONLY ROBOT YOU COULD BE SPEAKING OF ARE ALL THE PEOPLE ON HERE WHO YOU THINK YOU CAN CONTROL LIKE ONE....MAYBE YOU NEED TO PAY ATTENTION TO YOUR OWN MAN AND YOUR OWN LIFE CAUSE I KNOW FOR SURE IF YOU HAVE A VIRGO MAN & YOU ARE USING THE SAME APPROACH WITH HIM, WITH YOUR FU***NG SMART COMMENTS HE WILL BE GONE REAL SOON...SO PLEASE KEEP IT MOVING..."YOUR TIME IS UP WITH ME"

CAPGIRL.....WHY VIRGOS DONT LIKE TO ADMIT WHEN THEY ARE WRONG...WRONG ABOUT WHAT, IM ALWAYS THE FIRST TO ADMIT MY FAULTS...YOU ARE GETTING ALL VIRGO MIXED UP IN YOUR "LITTLE" RELATIONSHIP

CAPGIRL.....VIRGOS DONT LOVE THAT EASILY...THERE YOU GO AGAIN....GOING BY YOUR "LITTLE" RELATIONSHIP....I WAS TOLD THOSE 3 WORDS BY MY VIRGO MAN IN A MATTER OF 3 MONTHS...SO MAYBE YOU DID NOT HAVE WHAT IT TOOK FOR YOUR MAN TO SAY THAT TO YOU SO EASILY...BUT I AM A VIRGO, HE SEES HIMSELF IN ME....THATS WHY IT SO SO EASY TO LOVE ME..."MS. VIRGO'S DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE"....OKAY I THINK IM ABOUT THROUGH WITH YOU NOW

P-ANGEL......LET ME JUST SAY THAT AT FIRST MY MAN WAS TEXTING ME AND NOW HE STOPPED ALL COMMUNICATION, BUT THROUGHOUT THAT TIME I HAVE BEEN SENDING HIM MESSSAGES TELLING HIM HOW I FEEL....DONT GET ME WRONG HE IS A GOOD MAN AND TREATED ME LIKE A QUEEN SINCE THE FIRST TIME I MET HIM, I JUST MADE THE MISTAKE OF TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHY HE WOULD ACT LIKE THIS, WHEN IN ALL ACTUALITY I HAVE DONE ALL I CAN DO, & JUST LIKE IT WAS SAID TO ME BEFORE IF HE REALLY LOVES ME HE WILL BE BACK, SO THANK YOU FOR YOUR ADVICE AND NOT JUDGING ME I APPRECIATE THAT.

STARFISH....I THANK YOU ALSO FOR YOUR INPUT

I dont know but they do dissapear... my brother is very elusive.. Sometimes he drops off the face of the earth but comes back..like a week or so later all chipper and acts as though nothing is wrong. I think he just needs his downtime.

My brother is a virgo btw 🙂

cummengetme R u sure your not related to FlyCHiGirl😉

CAPGIRL...YOU STILL WANT MORE "IGNORANT"....YOU WISHING BAD ON PEOPLE SOMETHING IS MENTALLY WRONG WITH YOU AND ANYONE WHO LISTENS TO YOU ARE CRAZY AS WELL ESPECIALLY AFTER YOU JUST DICLOSED THAT YOU ENJOY SOMEONE ELSES PAIN....YOU PROBABLY DON KNOW ABOUT THIS SAYING BECAUSE YOU SOUND VERY IGNORANT AND YOUNG...BUT IT'S FROM A SHOW CALLED "MAUDE" & SHE ALWAYS SAID "GOD WILL GET YOU FOR THAT"......WITH THAT BEING SAID HAVE A GREAT DAY...MS. "I LOVE ATTENTION"

cumngetme ... I truly believe that any two people of the same sign don't really make a good union. Nothing against you .. this goes for all people. Though, I understand what you were saying about how because you are a Virgo that he can see himself in you, and I suppose that there is some sort of comfort and stability in knowing another person is very similar to yourself on a basic level, because you can probably predict a lot of reactions, and have a deeper understanding of values and principals ... however ...

Finding growth with life-experiences comes from diversity. We learn when challenged .. we become lazy, or dis-interested in our evolution if inertia is allowed to set-in, and from my perspective, this retards our personal growth in life.

Opposites teach each other ... we NEED what we don't know, though, most of us know not that we need it 🙂

In saying all this ... it's possible that you are toooooo similar to him, though he really cares a great deal. This is just speculation, of course, based off of a deep-rooted human desire to flourish, rather than diminish in SSDD.

I can tell you, my husband and I are complete opposites, in every way .. totally .. and have been married for 25 years. Though, I bitch because well .. I'M FEMALE .. and .. WATER ....... however, he's brought more quality to my life than any other person and the main factor has everything to do with him being so contrary in nature to me. Though, this may sound like a situation in which should fail, it doesn't because we provide growth to each other to be more.

Perhaps, what you should do at this time is take a step backwards and analyze exactly where you want your life-path to take you. If this man brings you more pain than joy, then this would be a prudent course for your sense of well-being.

P-Angel.....i know this may seem like im just going off of emotion only, simply because i still love and care for him, but i can honestly say that he has added alot to my life as far as trying to learn patience, what love is really about, and he encourages me to do more as far as going to college, he offered to pay for that, he has an extra car and he offered me that as well so me and my daughter do have to use public transportation....he shows me love by cooking for me all the time, bringing me lunch at my job, he even took me and my mother to a nice restaraunt just to meet her and let her know that i am in good hands....i have been so happy since i met him, i could not stop talking about him....any issues i have he tries to help me through it, he does anything to make me feel like he has my back...and we talk about everything, he even shows a little emotion with me (which is very rare for a virgo)......i just cant help but think that i did not appreciate him enough, by putting so many expectations on him when he was already doing everything any woman could possibly dream of.....yes he has his faults but nothing that big that i could not bare it....i am not a young buck & i have been around the block and back again, so i know how it feels to be hurt & what steps to take to get over my pain.

But this is diffrent for me, the feeling is very diffrent, i really beleive this is my soulmate...but im not going to be so closed minded as to think that there may be a possiblity that he wont come back, i have already thought about that, but for now im going to have faith that he is....and time will tell, if anything i will be single for a while and work on me.....i know i will get through this regardless, i have a little girl at home and i know she feels it when "mommy" is sad, i need to be strong for her and me

krys,
you're right. virgos and aquarius have the same approaches when it comes to relationships. they are somewhat dettached and tend to stray away from serious relationships. me, being a virgo am very cautious cause when I go into a relationship its usually for good. virgo women would rather wait for "the one" to come around rather than be stuck in a relationship with the wrong man.

lol the virgo i used to deal with used to ramble on about his day to day life, and i almost always went into a daze...boring!