Will my Virgo ever come back or have I ruined it?

I'll try and keep this as short as possible - The first 5 weeks he was per suing me, talking about things we'd do in the future, wanting to see me every week, loads of texts every day, he even had to go away for 12 days wanted to see me before he left, told me he wanted to keep in contact with me, we emailed each other every day and skyped a few times then he wanted to see me when he got back. Things got a bit heated that night although we didn't sleep together because frankly he startled me I had no indication he was going to pull any moves on me as he barely even kissed me much before that night. once I spent all night sitting up with him for 12hrs and he made no move on me until morning just before he took me back home. Anyway after that things started to spiral downwards he was still texting me every day but he didn't ask to see me. We then got talking about our plans and I was feeling angry that he hadn't asked to see me so I told him I might be going out and then he blamed me for him not having plans and being bored I told him I had waited all week up until Thursday night. He then proceeded to say how I hadn't him either and that I was becoming complacent because I said I was used to him asking. Anyway we sorted it out and ended up spending Friday night together, he seemed his normal self with me apart from telling me I needed more fight and rambling on about a balance? then he went away on work for a few days, the texts dwindled down to 1-2 per day. I sent him one saying 'I wish they were real kisses' which he questioned if it was for him I'm not sure how he had the nerve as I caught him talking to one of my friends on the website we met on telling her he was single and playing the field so how he could question my text! Then he home to see his family for a week the last text I got was letting me know he was there. I sent him one, didn't hear back, so left it the week then text again to ask if he was home (i knew he was) he text me the day after saying he was that he'd been busy with work, so I kept it friendly and left him for another week, tried again, he still seemed distant and busy I asked if he was free any night that week to see me. After 4 days I still hadn't heard from him, got angry and text him telling him that 'it wasn't working for me and i didn't think it was working for him either, that I thought things were going okay, but since he'd been back, i didn't feel that way i told him to correct me if i was wrong, but if not to take care'

Never heard back, a week and half later i decided to send him a drunken text (he had always wanted me to drunk text him) so I said 'this drunken text is weeks too late and i know i probably said and did 101 things wrong, but i'd like to try again, but obviously that is up to you too' didn't expect a reply a day later I got a reply saying ' hello 🙂 nah honestly, you did nothing wrong at all i promise. I didn't realise how much id be working now that i've started my new job and its quite a lot, i just don't have much free time at all now with work and home commitments, sorry for being a dick with you it's my fault' i text back telling him it wasn't his fault, i understood his work, alls i wanted was to try but i respected his decision not to. its coming up to 3 weeks now and I've heard nothing the only glimmer of hope is he viewed my profile on the website 2 weeks ago.

its funny because at the very start he was on about future plans and i said 'if i haven't blown it by that point' and he said blown it as in us? you won't it will be me who does that. at the time i thought nothing of it. I'm confused as to why he admitted it to be his fault also because he always used to blame me or someone else for everything he even said to me i love blaming you, you make it so easy for me.

I'm gutted that i may have ruined it with what I said, I'd never hurt him I'd never hurt anyone instead I was the one left in pieces crying on the floor because he just took off. Is there any chance he will ever come back.

plus he had let me meet one of his best friends, i had met his house mates, everyone seemed to think i was sticking around he had told me to get a passport incase he wanted to whisk me away.

I am a cancer. I am not playing anything, I don't play games. I am classy. He chased me well not chased me as such but on the 3rd date he practically threw himself at me after getting drunk was doing sad puppy dog eyes saying he wanted me I am reserved and shy so was taken back by that he said he found it cute, I didn't expect him to contact me again after that night, it took him a whole day to text me, he thought he had blown it and was relieved to find out he hadn't. He then continued to peruse me and I let him I eventually told him I really liked him after he was always saying he liked me. I don't know what else to say to him. I told him I understood his work was important and that I was willing to try and he's completely shut me out. I don't know what else I am expected to do.

Hey Wonderingsoul,

I hope I can shed some light. At the moment, you've shown him enough insecurities about you (based on the petty bickers you stated) that made him question your compatibility. In my honest opinion as I read your post, I could tell that you most likely inadvertently showed/expressed your insecurities, as most Cancers do. Whether you explicitly did or not, Virgos will see it because they are very observant and intuitive; and, they are very frightened by overt displays of emotions when they are not ready.

Because you didn't know your Virgo for that long, you didn't understand so don't blame yourself. Mistakes are often made with Virgos within the first few months; this period tends to be the most unforgiving as well. Virgos will analyze everything you do and say during this period, and I'm pretty certain your actions confused him just as much as his confused yours. A good example of this would be when you two spoke Thursday night, he probably anticipated for you to ask to see him; but instead, you retaliated with disdain because you expected him to make the move (as you were used to it). With a Virgo, you HAVE to reciprocate; if you don't, they take it as disinterest. They truly judge you very heavily on reassurances through actions because they need to know that you are willing to go the extra mile before they go to the ends of the world for you.

As a Gemini...I really want to add my two cents to this conversation!
I am a Solar Gem...with a Scorpio Ascendant...a Moon in Libra..and a Venus..Mars..AND Jupiter in Leo.
I'm currently (and quietly) pursuing a Virgo whose Moon is in Cap..Mercury is in Virgo..and whose Venus is also in Leo.

I can say that this guy (so far) has exhibited typical Virgo traits (from what I can see). He's calm, somewhat reserved, and quiet, for the most part. I read that they (Virgo men) shy away from emotional displays.

My advice would be to bee more direct with him in regards to your feelings, but in a way that won't scare him. I'm currently struggling with that problem lol.

25thDecan,

I'm not trying to pick a fight or anything, it's not my intention here. But, I would like to shed some observation on what I've noticed about your responses: you are kind of full of sh*t.

You are too quick to judge and castrate a person because they don't immediately satisfy you and all your whims and high moral values, which I find extremely contradicting because you're always exclaiming the importance of "reciprocity". But I ask you, how are you reciprocating on your part when you are so astutely focused on what she is going to give to you, do for you, provide for you? Sounds selfishly like a double-edged sword.

Case in study, your response above, "If we have chemistry and you are STARTLED when I make a move, the next one I may make will be big and then...deleted... Get out of my sight. Why? Because you cannot be trusted." I highly question your integrity more than I do hers. It's because of men like you who are so quick to "DELETE" her that makes her question her own feelings and desires, and make her inhibited.

Her apprehension is no different than the reaction you have towards her responsiveness to this elusive chemistry, it's called: TRUST. Chemistry does not equate to a prospective relationship, which is clearly what this woman wants. Actions build trust, and to your very shock, some women actually need for YOU to show/affirm this with YOUR actions and words as well, not always just her proving to you, before she drops her pants.

Yes, what you said was very thorough about your needs, disregarding the needs of others. Point proven.

I don't see how I'm offended? The shoe is on the other foot.

I can admit I was being a bit passive aggressive in hoping this won't blow out of control, but you're right, who was I kidding? After all, I am theoretically provoking it.

But, it doesn't change the fact that you're a selfish being, and I don't say that with this one observation either.

No need to justify, really. Over-justification is a clear sign of denial. If you can't be helped, then I have nothing left to say.

Please reread your responses to a lot of these women.

YOUR perspectives somehow always requires justification from a woman to tickle your grandeur, if she doesn't, you label her unjustly: liar, untruthful, player. And to think reciprocity is for both parties to help each other reach mutual acceptance, understanding, and compromise; not demanding that she has to "get to your level", so to speak, or else she's unworthy. It's comical!

My personal opinion, if a man agrees that he would "question" a woman who didn't want to jump into bed with him because they had good chemistry, I think I have good reason to, very much so, question your outlook, intentions, and honesty.

This is not in regards to the OP, whatsoever. Pay attention. This is in regards to YOUR responses reflecting on YOUR perspectives, experiences, expectations and your character as a whole. All of which, I say again, are selfish.

LOL. Okay, mister.

And this is a news flash?


I stated when he first got here years ago, that he was a selfish womanizer .... people are like Joey on Friends, it takes the ages to get what I pick up on at "hello"

Cajun is the male Virgo women need to talk to ... he is real, honest and there isn't a pompous bone in his body

I don't judge a person right away and will usually observe from a distance. But, when I come to a conclusion about someone, I am almost always right... However, leaving room for doubt, always.

I do think you are correct in pointing out the pompousness, riding on a nonexistent high horse. It's irksome and such a huge turn-off. I have had enough experiences in life among people with these attributes to deductively assert their selffishness and entitlement, thinking they are THAT good, the cream of the crop.

I don't judge a person right away and will usually observe from a distance. But, when I come to a conclusion about someone, I am almost always right... However, leaving room for doubt, always.

I do think you are correct in pointing out the pompousness, riding on a nonexistent high horse. It's irksome and such a huge turn-off. I have had enough experiences in life among people with these attributes to deductively assert their selffishness and entitlement, thinking they are THAT good, the cream of the crop.

I don't judge a person right away and will usually observe from a distance. But, when I come to a conclusion about someone, I am almost always right... However, leaving room for doubt, always.

I do think you are correct in pointing out the pompousness, riding on a nonexistent high horse. It's irksome and such a huge turn-off. I have had enough experiences in life among people with these attributes to deductively assert their selffishness and entitlement, thinking they are THAT good, the cream of the crop.