Winds Of Adversity

i can not seem to leave the winds of adversity,i have become another one of life's bitter casualties,basking in light,then comes a dark reality,everyday should be a blessing,i contemplate why they end up in shear tragedy,i still have to repent,hoping to be part of the lords faculty,but all the sin is hurting badly,sometimes i have the same question as you my friends
"Is a higher being really mad at me?",trying to live with the heart of a king,but nobody sees the majesty

Life is becoming too large of an opponent, swinging for the fences hoping i can overthrow it,trying to stand heroic,but my own despair has me drowning in the moment,swallowed so much pride i am gasping for air and choking,grab the needle and inject my veins with humbleness and humility until i am overdosing,still cant seem to stay focused,i cringe in fear that my future might be hopeless.outside calm,inside a mess,no one could have ever prepared me for this test. here it comes,that wind is piercing my soul,lord direct this ship,because the waves of uncertainty have ran there course,the vessel has lost all control,if you do not intervene promptly,it is man overboard,i don't know if i can take this anymore,if i put two feet forward all i ask is that the compass directs me which way to go..