
how much agony do you have to endure before you accept that perhaps maybe an alternate path should be considered?






Posted by SlipperySlope
Keep pushing, every thing I ever gave up on I look back and think "fuck I was so close, I'd be there by now"


Posted by LittleStar
I’m having high blood pressure from just reading.
Sorry for the loss of your sanity. ❤️

Posted by LittleStarPosted by jeanePosted by LittleStar
I’m having high blood pressure from just reading.
Sorry for the loss of your sanity. ❤️
apparently changing paths (even though he has said he doesn't want to continue) = failure.
Must be a fixed thing. I think they just put so energy into something they have to let go of it producing no results.
Maybe throw a funeral for him.click to expand

Posted by MareInfamePosted by jeanePosted by SlipperySlope
Keep pushing, every thing I ever gave up on I look back and think "fuck I was so close, I'd be there by now"
it's so frustrating.
conversations at the moment are
him: i'm miserable
me: change it
him: i know. you're right. i should
me: you can do it.
him: i don't want to.
This dialogue shared doesn’t fully explain the amount of frustration and anger you are expressing on this thread to me.
Why are you reactive to that level? Is it a never-ending dialogue of the same thing like groundhog’s day? Is he wallowing and finding comfort in his complaints where it sounds like a broken record or are you empathizing too much?
Is there more to this?click to expand

Posted by MareInfamePosted by jeanePosted by MareInfamePosted by jeanePosted by SlipperySlope
Keep pushing, every thing I ever gave up on I look back and think "fuck I was so close, I'd be there by now"
it's so frustrating.
conversations at the moment are
him: i'm miserable
me: change it
him: i know. you're right. i should
me: you can do it.
him: i don't want to.
This dialogue shared doesn’t fully explain the amount of frustration and anger you are expressing on this thread to me.
Why are you reactive to that level? Is it a never-ending dialogue of the same thing like groundhog’s day? Is he wallowing and finding comfort in his complaints where it sounds like a broken record or are you empathizing too much?
Is there more to this?
i'm not angry with him. i feel for him. i know its difficult for him. i wish it wasn't so however
Q."Is it a never-ending dialogue of the same thing like groundhog’s day?"
A. yes.
Q."Is he wallowing and finding comfort in his complaints where it sounds like a broken record"
A. yes but i know his constant complaints irritate him as well.
(the gifs are just for dramatic effect really. )
I see... now it makes more sense to me.
I didn’t assume you were angry at him... just an emotion that was being expressed at the situation.
Well... your not going to like what I’m about to say, but the best thing you can do is have some distance right now because his energy is already getting infiltrated into yours and at this point, you won’t be of any help to him at all. And this frustration won’t do you any good either.
Change might be extremely easy for you.... but it is scary and daunting to him. This is why he repeats it so much and why he just gives you the immediate NO NOT CHANGING. He is letting you know that he is feeling uncomfortable pressure from you. So, you need to step aside for both of your health and betterment.
Good news is that he CAN change. It’s just a VERY SLOW process. He doesn’t want solutions from you, he just wants a safe place to speak out his worries.click to expand

Posted by sagaciouscorp
What is he trying to change

Posted by sagaciouscorpPosted by jeanePosted by sagaciouscorp
What is he trying to change
it's about his work. he works 14-16 hours a day, 7 days a week. i worry that he is going to have a heart attack.
Yeah that’s Taurus men workaholics
What’s the motivation
more money
Move up
Prestige
Hiding issues?click to expand

Posted by AnotherTaurusGuyReturns
Is he in a senior position or is he just working that much because it’s his usual habit?

Posted by AnotherTaurusGuyReturnsPosted by jeanePosted by AnotherTaurusGuyReturns
Is he in a senior position or is he just working that much because it’s his usual habit?
its his business.
That does make it difficult to work less. Fewer people to rely on plus more of an emotional investment in the business.click to expand

Posted by AnotherTaurusGuyReturnsPosted by jeanePosted by AnotherTaurusGuyReturnsPosted by jeanePosted by AnotherTaurusGuyReturns
Is he in a senior position or is he just working that much because it’s his usual habit?
its his business.
That does make it difficult to work less. Fewer people to rely on plus more of an emotional investment in the business.
true but when is enough, enough?
Part of the problem is it’s also an ego investment for men in general to be doing well at work. He might feel if he steps back things could go wrong / he wouldn’t earn as much which could cause financial problems.
Maybe you could explore that with him if he seems receptive when complaining about work? In a non-judgemental tone you could ask about what he wants to achieve, what he thinks would happen if he worked less, etc.
There’s not really an easy solution to this one unfortunately.click to expand


Posted by SkeletonPosted by Undine
I'm trying to convince my Taurus mother to take some basic precaution during the covid19 outbreak in Romania.
One one hand, she's anxious because of the outbreak and causing drama each time I phone home. Father is 76, has high blood pressure and is at high risk of dying!
On the other hand, she doesn't want to avoid crowded places, daily shopping and queues, or travelling by bus, for ONLY a bloody couple of months! She is not going to change ANY habit, but if she gets infected, it will be others fault (Italy, the government or my father's fault).
Oh, and she doesn't buy and eat canned food during a potential self isolating periode, and will NEVER do so! Yep mum, dead don't eat.
I have a question, does she also doing homemade food sealing thing to store it up?click to expand

Posted by jeanePosted by SlipperySlope
Keep pushing, every thing I ever gave up on I look back and think "fuck I was so close, I'd be there by now"
it's so frustrating.
conversations at the moment are
him: i'm miserable
me: change it
him: i know. you're right. i should
me: you can do it.
him: i don't want to.
https://media.giphy.com/media/JEVYf4g2ePr6o/giphy.gif<div class="bqfade">click to expand

Posted by jeanePosted by AnotherTaurusGuyReturns
Is he in a senior position or is he just working that much because it’s his usual habit?
its his business.click to expand

Posted by AnotherTaurusGuyReturnsPosted by jeanePosted by AnotherTaurusGuyReturnsPosted by jeanePosted by AnotherTaurusGuyReturnsPosted by jeanePosted by AnotherTaurusGuyReturns
Is he in a senior position or is he just working that much because it’s his usual habit?
its his business.
That does make it difficult to work less. Fewer people to rely on plus more of an emotional investment in the business.
true but when is enough, enough?
Part of the problem is it’s also an ego investment for men in general to be doing well at work. He might feel if he steps back things could go wrong / he wouldn’t earn as much which could cause financial problems.
Maybe you could explore that with him if he seems receptive when complaining about work? In a non-judgemental tone you could ask about what he wants to achieve, what he thinks would happen if he worked less, etc.
There’s not really an easy solution to this one unfortunately.
worth a shot. i'll give it a try.
he said to me yesterday that as it is all he has ever done, if he stopped it would be like his life was a failure.
I take it he hasn’t got any hobbies working that number of hours. Maybe you could get him out to see friends/family, take him out to eat, to the cinema or something to try to change his focus.click to expand

Posted by LadyNeptunePosted by jeanePosted by AnotherTaurusGuyReturns
Is he in a senior position or is he just working that much because it’s his usual habit?
its his business.
Ah ok so he has control issues/can’t delegate.
That’s a tough place to be in cause you feel like your the only one who can get it done.click to expand

Posted by sagaciouscorp
I think they need to be pulled out of it. N don’t get mad he’ll answer work phones or not
Taking him hiking, beach, casino., do it once a month for even a weekend
Make it his new Routine slowly but surely
It will relax his mind

Posted by UndinePosted by SkeletonPosted by Undine
I'm trying to convince my Taurus mother to take some basic precaution during the covid19 outbreak in Romania.
One one hand, she's anxious because of the outbreak and causing drama each time I phone home. Father is 76, has high blood pressure and is at high risk of dying!
On the other hand, she doesn't want to avoid crowded places, daily shopping and queues, or travelling by bus, for ONLY a bloody couple of months! She is not going to change ANY habit, but if she gets infected, it will be others fault (Italy, the government or my father's fault).
Oh, and she doesn't buy and eat canned food during a potential self isolating periode, and will NEVER do so! Yep mum, dead don't eat.
I have a question, does she also doing homemade food sealing thing to store it up?
In autumn, she makes some of the winter preserves every Romanian household does (roasted pepper and aubergines mash or pickled cabbage), but those are long finished. She won't buy any from the shop, since "they have added chemicals and give her cancer".click to expand

Posted by sagaciouscorpPosted by jeanePosted by LadyNeptunePosted by jeanePosted by AnotherTaurusGuyReturns
Is he in a senior position or is he just working that much because it’s his usual habit?
its his business.
Ah ok so he has control issues/can’t delegate.
That’s a tough place to be in cause you feel like your the only one who can get it done.
the thing is, he is the only one who can get it done. either because he is the only one qualified to do so or his staff are fucking useless (but he has no time to find replacements). I've been brought in several times to help out. i don't mind but he pays people to do that sort of stuff.
he's not so much of a feel sorry for himself but he vents. secretly i like it when he vents. i enjoy being the person he comes to. to me, that's my job.
the pressure is staggering and he doesn't want to let customers down but in doing so creates such an enormous burden for himself.
my exasperation comes because there seems to be no way out of this cycle for him. i'm certain there is a better life but he has to let go of this one first and he's reluctant to do so.
He needs to hire new people who are qualified. Maybe also u need to look at that “u need him “ in this cycle because u enjoy him coming to you.click to expand

Posted by sagaciouscorpPosted by jeanePosted by sagaciouscorpPosted by jeanePosted by LadyNeptunePosted by jeanePosted by AnotherTaurusGuyReturns
Is he in a senior position or is he just working that much because it’s his usual habit?
its his business.
Ah ok so he has control issues/can’t delegate.
That’s a tough place to be in cause you feel like your the only one who can get it done.
the thing is, he is the only one who can get it done. either because he is the only one qualified to do so or his staff are fucking useless (but he has no time to find replacements). I've been brought in several times to help out. i don't mind but he pays people to do that sort of stuff.
he's not so much of a feel sorry for himself but he vents. secretly i like it when he vents. i enjoy being the person he comes to. to me, that's my job.
the pressure is staggering and he doesn't want to let customers down but in doing so creates such an enormous burden for himself.
my exasperation comes because there seems to be no way out of this cycle for him. i'm certain there is a better life but he has to let go of this one first and he's reluctant to do so.
He needs to hire new people who are qualified. Maybe also u need to look at that “u need him “ in this cycle because u enjoy him coming to you.
i don't need him in this cycle. nothing would make me happier than for his life to improve. i want nothing but the very best for him and yeah, i could tell him all the things that i think are the solution but it goes back to my original point, how much does taurus have to endure before they start considering an alternate plan. lol, you're coming to the place i am at!
i do like him coming to me because it illustrates how important we are to each other. nothing more. there's nothing nefarious in that. if he'd ring me 5 times a day with great tales that would make me equally as happy.
I meaning Subconsciously and energeticallyclick to expand

Posted by MaddestofHattersPosted by jeanePosted by sagaciouscorpPosted by jeanePosted by sagaciouscorpPosted by jeanePosted by LadyNeptunePosted by jeanePosted by AnotherTaurusGuyReturns
Is he in a senior position or is he just working that much because it’s his usual habit?
its his business.
Ah ok so he has control issues/can’t delegate.
That’s a tough place to be in cause you feel like your the only one who can get it done.
the thing is, he is the only one who can get it done. either because he is the only one qualified to do so or his staff are fucking useless (but he has no time to find replacements). I've been brought in several times to help out. i don't mind but he pays people to do that sort of stuff.
he's not so much of a feel sorry for himself but he vents. secretly i like it when he vents. i enjoy being the person he comes to. to me, that's my job.
the pressure is staggering and he doesn't want to let customers down but in doing so creates such an enormous burden for himself.
my exasperation comes because there seems to be no way out of this cycle for him. i'm certain there is a better life but he has to let go of this one first and he's reluctant to do so.
He needs to hire new people who are qualified. Maybe also u need to look at that “u need him “ in this cycle because u enjoy him coming to you.
i don't need him in this cycle. nothing would make me happier than for his life to improve. i want nothing but the very best for him and yeah, i could tell him all the things that i think are the solution but it goes back to my original point, how much does taurus have to endure before they start considering an alternate plan. lol, you're coming to the place i am at!
i do like him coming to me because it illustrates how important we are to each other. nothing more. there's nothing nefarious in that. if he'd ring me 5 times a day with great tales that would make me equally as happy.
I meaning Subconsciously and energetically
i see. i know mareinfame suggested the same sort of thing but i've thought about that and i don't think it's the case.
i don't enjoy this. i really don't think i am making his life harder. i don't tell him what to do. he asks me what i think, i suggest things, try to show a potentially different way, he says i am right but he is stuck, afraid of the unknown and the different. i support, i listen but yeah, it exasperates me because i see and feel his suffering.
he comes to me and he is just exhausted. he juggles 50 things at once, inevitably makes mistakes, gets bollocked by customers, beats himself up over it. i listen. give encouragement. tell him he is doing the best he can. it's been going on for years. it's gotten much worse lately though. i worry he is going to collapse and die.
i don't know when he is going to say enough is enough. how much more is he willing to sacrifice to stay the course? this seems to me a taurus trait. this stubborn, show no weakness, never say die attitude.
Is there any part he can automate or outsource? Online automation changed everything for me. I had to get creative to make it work, but so worth it. I can relate to your guy. When everyone relies on you to get them on their way it's hard to bring the machine to a halt.click to expand

Posted by MareInfamePosted by jeanePosted by LadyNeptunePosted by jeanePosted by AnotherTaurusGuyReturns
Is he in a senior position or is he just working that much because it’s his usual habit?
its his business.
Ah ok so he has control issues/can’t delegate.
That’s a tough place to be in cause you feel like your the only one who can get it done.
the thing is, he is the only one who can get it done. either because he is the only one qualified to do so or his staff are fucking useless (but he has no time to find replacements). I've been brought in several times to help out. i don't mind but he pays people to do that sort of stuff.
he's not so much of a feel sorry for himself but he vents. secretly i like it when he vents. i enjoy being the person he comes to. to me, that's my job.
the pressure is staggering and he doesn't want to let customers down but in doing so creates such an enormous burden for himself.
my exasperation comes because there seems to be no way out of this cycle for him. i'm certain there is a better life but he has to let go of this one first and he's reluctant to do so.
Would you be qualified to help by looking for replacements, people apt to take on the load, other solutions to ease work load by automating a lot of the work?
All of that takes time. So I get his frustration.click to expand

Posted by sagaciouscorp
It’s his fear of losing security
Lack of trust in universe or higher power that it will provide if he lets go of his grip on it.
I saw this with an ex
All I can say is I’m showing him there are different kinds of wealth n although I don’t own as much i Iive like I do.
Mmm so how can we help him lossen that grip. Show him there are safety nets in place either support from loved ones,suppor employees ( as they want his success in turn more money for them too , faith in god , trust in people. It’s hard maybe the baby step is taking him on vacation n help him relax


Posted by MaddestofHatters
Jesus christ, scorpios are soooo fucking black & white thinkers.

Posted by AgentP911
I don't think this is necessarily a Taurus thing. I think it is a 'him' thing. He's on the hamster wheel and is choosing not to get off the wheel so he will continue to do what he does because it is what he has always done and it will be what he will always do.
It doesn't sound like he has any plan outside of the hamster wheel. That is not good for business (or life) but it is common within people who run their own business. They are or can be control freaks and can be part of their own problem.
Posted by AgentP911He is not the only person in the world who is qualified or able to do whatever tasks he has. He just does not know how to or does not want to delegate. If his staff are useless to the point that they may as well not be there then why are they still there? Why is he paying his own money out to people who do nothing? How is that good business management? Perhaps they are not that useless because they are doing something to keep things ticking over. Perhaps he does not want to empower people or give them the autonomy or respinsibility to do the job. The impossible manager where nothing is ever good enough. Perhaps he needs to recruit better people and pay more for quality people. He thinks he doesn't have time to do this but if he keeps doing the same thing he will gain the same result.
Posted by AgentP911Most posts have been about what you need to do or can do or it requires some form of action from you but it is not your problem. It is his.
Instead of worrying about what he is doing or not doing with his non-existent work life balance, I would look at this to see if this type of relationship makes you happy.
If it does not, then he is the one with the big decision to make, not you.click to expand

Posted by ParkourlerPosted by sagaciouscorp
It’s his fear of losing security
Lack of trust in universe or higher power that it will provide if he lets go of his grip on it.
I saw this with an ex
All I can say is I’m showing him there are different kinds of wealth n although I don’t own as much i Iive like I do.
Mmm so how can we help him lossen that grip. Show him there are safety nets in place either support from loved ones,suppor employees ( as they want his success in turn more money for them too , faith in god , trust in people. It’s hard maybe the baby step is taking him on vacation n help him relax
Nah, this concept of trusting in some vague hippie entity like the universe might work for a sag or scorp bt never for a taurus. His resistance points are valid, he will not move an inch if they are adressed in an empathetic way.
I have a few thoughts on that because I am a taurus, can I pm you?click to expand

Posted by MaddestofHattersPosted by AgentP911Posted by MaddestofHatters
Jesus christ, scorpios are soooo fucking black & white thinkers.
It either is or it is not.
Most of life falls in the middleclick to expand

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