Taurus guy sending mixed signals

I'm a Gemini woman, met his Taurus guy online. We live faraway from each other though, but one thing we have in common is that we don't get along well with guys/girls in our countries. That's the reason why we're looking elsewhere and finally met each other.

Most of the time, he was the one initiating the conversations. At first, he kept it really subtle, almost to the point where I didn't know if he was just trying to be friendly or was looking for something more. Because of how reserved he was, I decided to test out the water by dropping hints that it's ok to take this further and he played along well. He turned out to be very sweet, attentive, it was so clear that he was interested. Being me, hate wasting my time and got no energy for games. I just directly asked and he admited that he was interested. We continued talking, flirting back and forth. Nothing sexual involved, but we mentioned hugging, cuddling, and said it would be great to have the other person right by our side. He did mention more than twice that he would want to date me in person and is waiting for the world to open up so we can meet and see how things go. We didn't talk everyday though and he's such a slow texter that we normally sent up to 5-8 texts a day, but over time we built this connection I barely have with anyone. I never believed falling for someone over texts was possible, sounded ridiculous and nonsense, but damn it I fell in so deep, too much that I started telling myself I needed to let this out.

We discussed about this, I made it clear to him that I get hurt easily when it comes to the matter of heart, I'm taking this seriously. Told him to back off if he just wants to have fun or just sees me as a time killer. His response was simple, he insisted on still being around but wanted to take it easy. I couldn't say much, trying to be logical. Since we've never even met, it would be selfish if I was about to ask for a commitment or want him all to myself. So, we continued talking, but I noticed that he kinda pulled away. No likes, not viewing my stories. I don't believe he doesn't check his feed, cause he once left a comment with no like. But I know how this social media thing can mean nothing to some people, especially to men. So, I tried to look pass that and focused on our conversations instead. Again, it's odd. The romantic guy was gone. No compliments, no sweet talks, not being attentive like he used to. When I flirt, he doensn't flirt back. But he would still reach out to me, not asking how everything is, just talking about random stuff. Sometimes he'll send me memes or something funny, which I guess that's a convo starter for someone who doesn't know what to say much. I have no problem keeping the conversation going. Now it takes him longer to reply that we end up sending 1-3 texts a day, but every time he replies, it's always a nice sentence. Not just haha, lol, or k. It's a long sentence showing he really cares of what he says.

After some research, I found out that Taureans are quite slow when it comes to making decisions, and that they would regret it if they took it too fast in the beginning. I decided to make it clear to him that I am really interested and that if he feels the same he can take his time to slowly open up to me, no rush but I'm here. Unfortunately, we were also in the middle of another topic, he replied to that topic but not to my long paragraph of my feeling towards him. All I need from him is a yes or no, I got nothing. Why is it so hard to say if he's still interested or not? I won't mind at all if he just tells me 'Hey, you're not the girl I'm looking for, but we can be friends'. All I need is clearity so I can decide my direction and find someone else if he doesn't like me anymore. It's like he opens the door, not coming in, not going out, just standing there. And whether he knows it or not, he's blocking other people!

I told myself he has lost interest and that has probably moved on, my conclusion is he's trying to be nice because he still wants to be friends and is afraid to tell me exactly how he feels. So, I started hoping that he would stop reaching out. Just leave! But he wouldn't, he is still here, being as charming as always. Even without all these sweet texts, it's scary how he still manages to make me miss him. He remembers little details I even forgot I once mentioned, he just randomly brings them up and that never fails to surprise me. When we discuss about something, he'll come back with his research that shows he cares. The way he teases me is unlike how other male friends tease me and he teases a lot, like it's one of his hobbies!

We only communicate through text messages and voice messages, no phone calls or video calls. Not that I'm not expecting it, but I know that'll make him feel uncomfortable. So, I'm trying to slow down my pace to match his. I have no problem with his slow approach, my problem is I don't know where I stand. Whenever I bring this up, he doesn't seem to be clear about it either. I'm really really confused!

What do you guys think? Has he lost interest and just wants to remain good friendship? Or just slowing things down? Or just never likes me in the first place and I'm just a fool believing his lies? Keeping me as a back up plan? What should I do to find out how he feels when he doesn't wanna talk about it?

Posted by LuxePurr

You're coming on too strong for a chick he hasn't even met in person yet.

I guess so. Thanks though.

Posted by MadTwins80

I get a headache reading this

I'm not being horrible but sometimes things go on for too long and don't go anywhere

You told him you were interested and he backed off

Tbh what do you think you should do? You're putting all your eggs in one basket and it's a far away basket with holes in

You're kind of obsessing about something which hasn't happened yet and might never happen

Keep it on the backburner - he's said he's interested and when it's possible maybe you two can meet up and take it from there but until then , live your life. You need to let go a bit. Maybe he's feeling it's become too heavy and pressuring but whatever he is thinking or feeling you shouldn't fixate so much on a person you've never even met in real life , especially when that person seems to be backing off

You bringing up the topic mid conversation and him not mentioning it is not a good sign , obv , but it doesn't mean he's not interested necessarily it might just mean that he doesn't see much point in talking about it whilst it's physically impossible for you to actually be together. Not everyone talks as much as us lol

I do live my life. In fact, I am quite happy of how my life is. Except for the fact that I can’t seem to find the right man. I am quite selective and so when I find one that is compatible, I’m willing to do anything to make it work (but not changing who I am, that’s one thing for sure!) I know it’s impossible to build anything serious when we haven’t met. But until then, isn’t communication also important? What if this goes on and I already put him in a friend zone then he suddenly appears in front of me? I don’t date my friends, once I put someone in a friend zone, they’ll be there forever. That’s why I need to know how he feels. Clear communication, clear intentions. I don’t understand how this seems to be so complicated. But yes you’re right about the last part. Maybe this kind of situation is normal for most people. As a Gemini (or at least me), anything unclear is annoying af! And sometimes being too straight can scare people away too. How else do they expect us to express how we feel when words say everything clearly and we always mean what we say!? 🙄

Posted by dillweed

Posted by MadTwins80

Maybe he's feeling it's become too heavy and pressuring

i think this is the case

OP you’ve prompted a few “i am interested, i am not going anywhere” conversations. once is fine but to keep doing it begins to feel like insecurity is taking over.



i am with a taurus & tbh dont relate to the mixed signals. he has been 100% communicative, consistent, etc from the get go. i think if anyone you are romantically interested in isnt showing signs of stable, consistent interest, it’s not really gonna work out well.

click to expand

The first time I told him not to mess up with my feelings, and the second time I made sure he knows I’m still here and willing to take it slow. (In case we took it too fast in the beginning) That’s it. Other times, I never act clingy or even bother asking where he’s been. He needs his space, I need mine. He did mention once though that he’s not good with words and is not a talkative person. Well, guys who I have dated in the past started out so strong and were consistent but ended up cheating on me. Not just one but almost every single one of them. I don’t know how I should view this anymore. 🤣

Posted by Moon_River

Do you even have a future together though?

Emotions are one thing, but if y’all are going to be in the same place at some point then investing more and more without having a plan makes it kind of a waste.

Also if he’s not making it a priority to show you his interest and commitment, it basically shows you how he views you.

Probably best to see whether or not you think you can be satisfied with what he’s able to give or move on and cut ties if you can’t emotional divest while interacting with him.

We do if we want to make it work. I do believe with enough efforts we can live anywhere on this planet and create a wonderful family. The question is, am I going to be the only person investing? I can discuss this with him, but again he’ll think it’s too fast. Seems to me this is not going anywhere until we really get to meet, which don’t know if that’s ever gonna happen. And not because of this covid thing, but because he’s not being clear enough if he wants me to wait. No plans made. I hate saying this but I guess I’ll just have to move on. You’re right, I’m not satisfied, I should find someone else who’s ready to invest more. Thanks for your opinion 🙏

this was two weeks ago now (op, what has happened since?) but yes i agree with the others - too much from you. you are overthinking this.

my advice would be to concentrate on being friends for now. friendship is really important for bulls and i would go as far to say that's one of the main things they are looking for. they want a relationship with someone whom they share a strong friendship.

you are pushing him and getting him to commit to a path before you have even met. any bull is going to start planting their hooves very firmly if that's the case. unless you are incredibly charming and have a history, you're going to have limited success in that tactic.

he was happy to proceed on a path of being flirty, having fun before you wanted certainty and there isn't certainty he can give you at this point.

Latest Update!

Turned out he started dating a girl in his country and only deciding to tell me after I confronted him. When I asked when did he plan to tell me this, he said it wasn’t necessary for me to know cause we were not dating or anything. He admitted though that in the very beginning he really liked me but then after a while he wanted to be friends and he thought I would naturally figure this out without having to talk about it. I was mad, how on earth would I have known when he would still reach out and tease as though nothing has happened?

He mentioned that distance is the biggest obstacle and the main reason why his feeling for me didn’t develop. I respect him for his decision and moved on. We’re friends now but I still find it hard to trust this guy. Cause no matter how I look at it, he was really toying with my heart. He even made a promise that he’d come visit me. Do you guys just break promises without saying a single word? I understand that it’s hard for you Taurus to communicate how you feel, but if online is the only platform we interact, how else would you make it clear if not with words? And after this whole time I was clear about how I felt, he had so many chances to tell me to stop trying, he didn’t.

Maybe he still likes me but a part of him keeps telling him that it would be easier with the other girl. So it makes sense why he’s been hot and cold. It’s just not fair, both for me and whoever the girl is. I had no idea he has this girl, she probably had no idea he was talking to me. Selfish, that’s the most suitable word I can describe this guy! But I’ll try my luck with friendship, maybe he’s better as a friend!

Posted by LuxePurr

Also, I wouldn't want to remain friends with him. Maybe some people can do it but when I lose interest in someone, any attempt at communicating would be met by my silence.

If this friendship you guys have are not mixed with subtle hopes that he and the local girl would break up, then I guess you're both mature.

Thank you for your opinion. Yes, that was a huge mistake and I'll make sure not to make the same mistake again. My feeling for him wasn't that strong either cause we haven't met as you said, I just hated it cause things were unclear. So, friends are cool! And nope, I don't hope they'll break up. But if they did, then he deserved it! I've already moved on and been talking to some guys as well.

Thanks again! 🙂

important to remember with taurus as well that they are tactile. distance is a huge issue for them. i can't seem many of them jumping into something long distance easily.

sorry it didn't work out for you this time op.