Why tho?

dump him

these people cheat via email

is that what you want with your life?

Posted by virgoOPPP

dump him

these people cheat via email

is that what you want with your life?

we've been in a committed relationship for over a year. it's not one of those ok looking to date thing. it's actually marriage and kids stuff. i feel when you've invested a certain amount of time into someone it ain't that easy to let go...

Posted by Sailor_Mars

Posted by OnTheVirg

Posted by virgoOPPP

dump him

these people cheat via email

is that what you want with your life?

we've been in a committed relationship for over a year. it's not one of those ok looking to date thing. it's actually marriage and kids stuff. i feel when you've invested a certain amount of time into someone it ain't that easy to let go...

I've invested 8 years of my life and they went down the drain. Simply poof. I learned that men cannot be changed. He will continue to do the same

click to expand

i'm really sorry to hear that...may I ask what happened? See when I hear things like this it makes me scared. i know a couple friends in long term marriages who cheated on their partners; like how can you do that? it sickens me. the dating world is scary.

Posted by AnotherTaurusGuyReturns

Looking isn’t cheating.

it was the act of adding someone via social media that seems sneaky. as far as i know he didn't DM any of these chicks, yet, nor did he ask for their numbers.

At least you got to him before anything happened and nipped it in the bud.

But my question is-

How did you find out that he searched for her on social media? Do you keep tabs on his browsing history?

Posted by Sailor_Mars

Posted by OnTheVirg

Posted by virgoOPPP

dump him

these people cheat via email

is that what you want with your life?

we've been in a committed relationship for over a year. it's not one of those ok looking to date thing. it's actually marriage and kids stuff. i feel when you've invested a certain amount of time into someone it ain't that easy to let go...

I've invested 8 years of my life and they went down the drain. Simply poof. I learned that men cannot be changed. He will continue to do the same

click to expand

there you go

Posted by saggurl88

At least you got to him before anything happened and nipped it in the bud.

But my question is-

How did you find out that he searched for her on social media? Do you keep tabs on his browsing history?

that's the thing, if i didn't how far would he go? I don't like thinking of these scenarios and I try not to.

No, it literally happened right there in front of my face while he was on his phone while i was resting my head on his lap watching some show. obviously wasn't trying to hide it. Still, bugs me why though? it would have made sense and i'd be at ease if he had searched everyone, but it was just that one particular chick..

Posted by AnotherTaurusGuyReturns

Posted by OnTheVirg

Posted by AnotherTaurusGuyReturns

Looking isn’t cheating.

it was the act of adding someone via social media that seems sneaky. as far as i know he didn't DM any of these chicks, yet, nor did he ask for their numbers.

Men in general, and Taurus in particular, are driven by the visuals. It might make him feel good to have this good looking woman as a social media friend. It doesn’t mean he has any intentions of crossing any lines.

click to expand

Ehhh... idk.

To me it's a red flag

age?

number of previous relationships?

Posted by OnTheVirg

Posted by saggurl88

At least you got to him before anything happened and nipped it in the bud.

But my question is-

How did you find out that he searched for her on social media? Do you keep tabs on his browsing history?

that's the thing, if i didn't how far would he go? I don't like thinking of these scenarios and I try not to.

No, it literally happened right there in front of my face while he was on his phone while i was resting my head on his lap watching some show. obviously wasn't trying to hide it. Still, bugs me why though? it would have made sense and i'd be at ease if he had searched everyone, but it was just that one particular chick..

click to expand

Oh that's good that he wasn't trying to hide it then. He must've thought nothing of it, except for him being curious about her since she was physically attractive.

But you were right to bring it to his attention. He doesn't need any new attractive female networking/business relationships. There is no insecurity in letting him know that. Sometimes when you give a man an inch, they will make sure they take a mile!

Posted by AnotherTaurusGuyReturns

Posted by OnTheVirg

Posted by AnotherTaurusGuyReturns

Looking isn’t cheating.

it was the act of adding someone via social media that seems sneaky. as far as i know he didn't DM any of these chicks, yet, nor did he ask for their numbers.

Men in general, and Taurus in particular, are driven by the visuals. It might make him feel good to have this good looking woman as a social media friend. It doesn’t mean he has any intentions of crossing any lines.

click to expand

same goes for oh she's just a new friend that I met, right? Means nothing of it. i guess you have your own harem of sorts to choose from. maybe one day you will choose one with a green dress because it matches your eyes or whatever color you have lol.

Posted by OnTheVirg

Posted by saggurl88

At least you got to him before anything happened and nipped it in the bud.

But my question is-

How did you find out that he searched for her on social media? Do you keep tabs on his browsing history?

that's the thing, if i didn't how far would he go? I don't like thinking of these scenarios and I try not to.

No, it literally happened right there in front of my face while he was on his phone while i was resting my head on his lap watching some show. obviously wasn't trying to hide it. Still, bugs me why though? it would have made sense and i'd be at ease if he had searched everyone, but it was just that one particular chick..

click to expand

sloppy

Posted by Boots1313

Posted by AnotherTaurusGuyReturns

Posted by OnTheVirg

Posted by AnotherTaurusGuyReturns

Looking isn’t cheating.

it was the act of adding someone via social media that seems sneaky. as far as i know he didn't DM any of these chicks, yet, nor did he ask for their numbers.

Men in general, and Taurus in particular, are driven by the visuals. It might make him feel good to have this good looking woman as a social media friend. It doesn’t mean he has any intentions of crossing any lines.

Ehhh... idk.

To me it's a red flag

click to expand

Can you explain?

Posted by jeane

age?

number of previous relationships?

early 30's. Only had 1 serious one and that was years back.

Posted by OnTheVirg

Posted by jeane

age?

number of previous relationships?

early 30's. Only had 1 serious one and that was years back.

click to expand

how many for him?

Posted by saggurl88

Posted by OnTheVirg

Posted by saggurl88

At least you got to him before anything happened and nipped it in the bud.

But my question is-

How did you find out that he searched for her on social media? Do you keep tabs on his browsing history?

that's the thing, if i didn't how far would he go? I don't like thinking of these scenarios and I try not to.

No, it literally happened right there in front of my face while he was on his phone while i was resting my head on his lap watching some show. obviously wasn't trying to hide it. Still, bugs me why though? it would have made sense and i'd be at ease if he had searched everyone, but it was just that one particular chick..

Oh that's good that he wasn't trying to hide it then. He must've thought nothing of it, except for him being curious about her since she was physically attractive.

But you were right to bring it to his attention. He doesn't need any new attractive female networking/business relationships. There is no insecurity in letting him know that. Sometimes when you give a man an inch, they will make sure they take a mile!

click to expand

yea he didn't have a deer in the headlights moment when i asked him. Thank you for your insight, i had my doubts. he was saying it may have been my insecurity and comparing it to how most other guys are far worse than him. but i wasn't focusing on that, it's his exact action that made me question it.

Posted by OnTheVirg

Posted by Boots1313

Posted by AnotherTaurusGuyReturns

Posted by OnTheVirg

Posted by AnotherTaurusGuyReturns

Looking isn’t cheating.

it was the act of adding someone via social media that seems sneaky. as far as i know he didn't DM any of these chicks, yet, nor did he ask for their numbers.

Men in general, and Taurus in particular, are driven by the visuals. It might make him feel good to have this good looking woman as a social media friend. It doesn’t mean he has any intentions of crossing any lines.

Ehhh... idk.

To me it's a red flag

Can you explain?

click to expand

I'm a firm believer that it is incredibly difficult for men and woman to be strickly friends. Idk if one person thinks it's completely platonic, one of the people is thinking otherwise.

Now, the objection to the rule is long term friends. For example I have a guy front of 15 years. Him and o are strickly friends. With that being said, while in a relationship I make sure to keep my distance and always include my bf in any adventures, out of respect for my relationship. My bf in my mind should be my best friend not some other guy.

I'm weary of "new friends" especially those of the opposite sex. For what reason? And even if it is just to be nice on social media...again for what reason? No good reason imo

Posted by jeane

Posted by OnTheVirg

Posted by jeane

age?

number of previous relationships?

early 30's. Only had 1 serious one and that was years back.

how many for him?

click to expand

that is for him. mine was 2

The fact it was blantly in front of you, makes it a little better tbh.

If he hid it...then yeah that I would worry about.

I don't think you have to be concerned after I heard that. Anyone trying to be sneaky wouldn't be so obvious.

Posted by virgoOPPP

Posted by OnTheVirg

Posted by saggurl88

At least you got to him before anything happened and nipped it in the bud.

But my question is-

How did you find out that he searched for her on social media? Do you keep tabs on his browsing history?

that's the thing, if i didn't how far would he go? I don't like thinking of these scenarios and I try not to.

No, it literally happened right there in front of my face while he was on his phone while i was resting my head on his lap watching some show. obviously wasn't trying to hide it. Still, bugs me why though? it would have made sense and i'd be at ease if he had searched everyone, but it was just that one particular chick..

sloppy

click to expand

i could see how it could be like that, but he didn't seem on the edge when i questioned him.

Posted by OnTheVirg

Posted by jeane

Posted by OnTheVirg

Posted by jeane

age?

number of previous relationships?

early 30's. Only had 1 serious one and that was years back.

how many for him?

that is for him. mine was 2

click to expand

has he had lots of flings?

my concern is he might not be ready for marriage and babies. he might be getting to the stage where he is thinking "i'm not ready for this. i want to play around a bit more."

i would just be careful. this is not the first time he is doing it and he is collecting attractive women on social media. he likely hasn't strayed and probably isn't even thinking about it but just really check with him that he is where you think he is in terms of where you guys are headed. he might say he is ready but you shouldn't just assume that because you are at the stage you are, he is automatically there with you.

that's not to say break up but be absolutely certain where his head and his little head are at.

Posted by Boots1313

Posted by OnTheVirg

Posted by Boots1313

Posted by AnotherTaurusGuyReturns

Posted by OnTheVirg

Posted by AnotherTaurusGuyReturns

Looking isn’t cheating.

it was the act of adding someone via social media that seems sneaky. as far as i know he didn't DM any of these chicks, yet, nor did he ask for their numbers.

Men in general, and Taurus in particular, are driven by the visuals. It might make him feel good to have this good looking woman as a social media friend. It doesn’t mean he has any intentions of crossing any lines.

Ehhh... idk.

To me it's a red flag

Can you explain?

I'm a firm believer that it is incredibly difficult for men and woman to be strickly friends. Idk if one person thinks it's completely platonic, one of the people is thinking otherwise.

Now, the objection to the rule is long term friends. For example I have a guy front of 15 years. Him and o are strickly friends. With that being said, while in a relationship I make sure to keep my distance and always include my bf in any adventures, out of respect for my relationship. My bf in my mind should be my best friend not some other guy.

I'm weary of "new friends" especially those of the opposite sex. For what reason? And even if it is just to be nice on social media...again for what reason? No good reason imo

click to expand

we are in the same mindset with it, but not strictly, per se. We do have our close group of opposite sex friends we are long term friends with, but none of them never rang any alarms for me. he's really good friends with my best guy friend and i love that. i've even let him hang out with a bunch of his female friends on his own without a care because i trusted him. this situation just reaalllly seems to irk me.

it's different when it's someone new.

Posted by AnotherTaurusGuyReturns

Posted by Boots1313

Posted by AnotherTaurusGuyReturns

Posted by OnTheVirg

Posted by AnotherTaurusGuyReturns

Looking isn’t cheating.

it was the act of adding someone via social media that seems sneaky. as far as i know he didn't DM any of these chicks, yet, nor did he ask for their numbers.

Men in general, and Taurus in particular, are driven by the visuals. It might make him feel good to have this good looking woman as a social media friend. It doesn’t mean he has any intentions of crossing any lines.

Ehhh... idk.

To me it's a red flag

But he did it right in front of her too. You’d have to be pretty dumb to do that if you had bad intentions. Not saying it’s wrong to be mad about it though.

click to expand

Yeah I read that detail after the fact

It's innocent then.

Or he just doesn't give a fuk

Posted by OnTheVirg

Posted by Boots1313

Posted by OnTheVirg

Posted by Boots1313

Posted by AnotherTaurusGuyReturns

Posted by OnTheVirg

Posted by AnotherTaurusGuyReturns

Looking isn’t cheating.

it was the act of adding someone via social media that seems sneaky. as far as i know he didn't DM any of these chicks, yet, nor did he ask for their numbers.

Men in general, and Taurus in particular, are driven by the visuals. It might make him feel good to have this good looking woman as a social media friend. It doesn’t mean he has any intentions of crossing any lines.

Ehhh... idk.

To me it's a red flag

Can you explain?

I'm a firm believer that it is incredibly difficult for men and woman to be strickly friends. Idk if one person thinks it's completely platonic, one of the people is thinking otherwise.

Now, the objection to the rule is long term friends. For example I have a guy front of 15 years. Him and o are strickly friends. With that being said, while in a relationship I make sure to keep my distance and always include my bf in any adventures, out of respect for my relationship. My bf in my mind should be my best friend not some other guy.

I'm weary of "new friends" especially those of the opposite sex. For what reason? And even if it is just to be nice on social media...again for what reason? No good reason imo

we are in the same mindset with it, but not strictly, per se. We do have our close group of opposite sex friends we are long term friends with, but none of them never rang any alarms for me. he's really good friends with my best guy friend and i love that. i've even let him hang out with a bunch of his female friends on his own without a care because i trusted him. this situation just reaalllly seems to irk me.

it's different when it's someone new.

click to expand

I agree that someone "new" and attractive is enough to make my antennas go up.

I like jeane' advice.

Ask him gently if he is wanting to slow it down or having second thoughts about marriage and kids.

I literally just had to do this with my bull yesterday. He was full force ready to buy a house and get engaged, then he was acting weird and admitted he got ahead of himself. It's fine...not the end of the world. But gotta slow it down again

Taurus are very pace oriented (except for the Gemini dominated ones like me)

If she had been ugly would it still bother you?

Posted by jeane

Posted by OnTheVirg

Posted by jeane

Posted by OnTheVirg

Posted by jeane

age?

number of previous relationships?

early 30's. Only had 1 serious one and that was years back.

how many for him?

that is for him. mine was 2

has he had lots of flings?

my concern is he might not be ready for marriage and babies. he might be getting to the stage where he is thinking "i'm not ready for this. i want to play around a bit more."

i would just be careful. this is not the first time he is doing it and he is collecting attractive women on social media. he likely hasn't strayed and probably isn't even thinking about it but just really check with him that he is where you think he is in terms of where you guys are headed. he might say he is ready but you shouldn't just assume that because you are at the stage you are, he is automatically there with you.

that's not to say break up but be absolutely certain where his head and his little head are at.

click to expand

he has before me, yes.

it's hard to determine because it is through his business account and not his personal. but then does that give the excuse that he can social media with people under the guise of his business as a cop out?

To your point, we haven't only talked about it, but he's shown me how serious he is about us...we hang out with family on the weekly. he's taken steps to build a future together. he has been trying to move in, but i wasn't ready and he was understanding about it. now this just pushed us back a bit more.

it's like everyone talks about not being able to handle long term relationships, but then at one point do you call it quits? how far is crossing the line too much? i've tried to rationalize it that he hasn't physically reached out to them. It's just difficult to shake out my mind.

Posted by Boots1313

The fact it was blantly in front of you, makes it a little better tbh.

If he hid it...then yeah that I would worry about.

I don't think you have to be concerned after I heard that. Anyone trying to be sneaky wouldn't be so obvious.

Next thing ya know, he’ll be buying a bicycle 🚲!

Posted by saggurl88

Posted by Boots1313

The fact it was blantly in front of you, makes it a little better tbh.

If he hid it...then yeah that I would worry about.

I don't think you have to be concerned after I heard that. Anyone trying to be sneaky wouldn't be so obvious.

Next thing ya know, he’ll be buying a bicycle 🚲!

click to expand

As long as she knows, fair game.

Posted by Boots1313

Posted by OnTheVirg

Posted by Boots1313

Posted by OnTheVirg

Posted by Boots1313

Posted by AnotherTaurusGuyReturns

Posted by OnTheVirg

Posted by AnotherTaurusGuyReturns

Looking isn’t cheating.

it was the act of adding someone via social media that seems sneaky. as far as i know he didn't DM any of these chicks, yet, nor did he ask for their numbers.

Men in general, and Taurus in particular, are driven by the visuals. It might make him feel good to have this good looking woman as a social media friend. It doesn’t mean he has any intentions of crossing any lines.

Ehhh... idk.

To me it's a red flag

Can you explain?

I'm a firm believer that it is incredibly difficult for men and woman to be strickly friends. Idk if one person thinks it's completely platonic, one of the people is thinking otherwise.

Now, the objection to the rule is long term friends. For example I have a guy front of 15 years. Him and o are strickly friends. With that being said, while in a relationship I make sure to keep my distance and always include my bf in any adventures, out of respect for my relationship. My bf in my mind should be my best friend not some other guy.

I'm weary of "new friends" especially those of the opposite sex. For what reason? And even if it is just to be nice on social media...again for what reason? No good reason imo

we are in the same mindset with it, but not strictly, per se. We do have our close group of opposite sex friends we are long term friends with, but none of them never rang any alarms for me. he's really good friends with my best guy friend and i love that. i've even let him hang out with a bunch of his female friends on his own without a care because i trusted him. this situation just reaalllly seems to irk me.

it's different when it's someone new.

I agree that someone "new" and attractive is enough to make my antennas go up.

I like jeane' advice.

Ask him gently if he is wanting to slow it down or having second thoughts about marriage and kids.

I literally just had to do this with my bull yesterday. He was full force ready to buy a house and get engaged, then he was acting weird and admitted he got ahead of himself. It's fine...not the end of the world. But gotta slow it down again

Taurus are very pace oriented (except for the Gemini dominated ones like me)

click to expand

we did have this discussion quite a bit. he was the one who initiated moving in, i was the one who held it off. he talks about saving money for our house. he shows he is ready. he proudly introduces me to everyone he knows as his gf.

but I guess i should have the talk again.

Posted by justagirl

If she had been ugly would it still bother you?

no, but that's why i mentioned he only searched for the attractive girl in the mix or most good looking. it's like when you know your partner so well you can kind of see where there mind is heading.

Posted by OnTheVirg

Posted by jeane

Posted by OnTheVirg

Posted by jeane

Posted by OnTheVirg

Posted by jeane

age?

number of previous relationships?

early 30's. Only had 1 serious one and that was years back.

how many for him?

that is for him. mine was 2

has he had lots of flings?

my concern is he might not be ready for marriage and babies. he might be getting to the stage where he is thinking "i'm not ready for this. i want to play around a bit more."

i would just be careful. this is not the first time he is doing it and he is collecting attractive women on social media. he likely hasn't strayed and probably isn't even thinking about it but just really check with him that he is where you think he is in terms of where you guys are headed. he might say he is ready but you shouldn't just assume that because you are at the stage you are, he is automatically there with you.

that's not to say break up but be absolutely certain where his head and his little head are at.

he has before me, yes.

it's hard to determine because it is through his business account and not his personal. but then does that give the excuse that he can social media with people under the guise of his business as a cop out?

To your point, we haven't only talked about it, but he's shown me how serious he is about us...we hang out with family on the weekly. he's taken steps to build a future together. he has been trying to move in, but i wasn't ready and he was understanding about it. now this just pushed us back a bit more.

it's like everyone talks about not being able to handle long term relationships, but then at one point do you call it quits? how far is crossing the line too much? i've tried to rationalize it that he hasn't physically reached out to them. It's just difficult to shake out my mind.

click to expand

so your gut says something is wrong with the picture? i would take some time to listen to that. it seems like you have a few reservations apart from this. if he is racing forward because he gets a sense you are pulling back in word or deed, then you've got some big things to get right with yourself and between you and him before you start talking marriage and babies. get your foundation set first and then build up. rush in and you risk a life changing mistake. there is lots of time.

Posted by saggurl88

Posted by Boots1313

The fact it was blantly in front of you, makes it a little better tbh.

If he hid it...then yeah that I would worry about.

I don't think you have to be concerned after I heard that. Anyone trying to be sneaky wouldn't be so obvious.

Next thing ya know, he’ll be buying a bicycle 🚲!

click to expand

Ha! As long as he shares it!

Posted by OnTheVirg

Posted by Boots1313

Posted by OnTheVirg

Posted by Boots1313

Posted by OnTheVirg

Posted by Boots1313

Posted by AnotherTaurusGuyReturns

Posted by OnTheVirg

Posted by AnotherTaurusGuyReturns

Looking isn’t cheating.

it was the act of adding someone via social media that seems sneaky. as far as i know he didn't DM any of these chicks, yet, nor did he ask for their numbers.

Men in general, and Taurus in particular, are driven by the visuals. It might make him feel good to have this good looking woman as a social media friend. It doesn’t mean he has any intentions of crossing any lines.

Ehhh... idk.

To me it's a red flag

Can you explain?

I'm a firm believer that it is incredibly difficult for men and woman to be strickly friends. Idk if one person thinks it's completely platonic, one of the people is thinking otherwise.

Now, the objection to the rule is long term friends. For example I have a guy front of 15 years. Him and o are strickly friends. With that being said, while in a relationship I make sure to keep my distance and always include my bf in any adventures, out of respect for my relationship. My bf in my mind should be my best friend not some other guy.

I'm weary of "new friends" especially those of the opposite sex. For what reason? And even if it is just to be nice on social media...again for what reason? No good reason imo

we are in the same mindset with it, but not strictly, per se. We do have our close group of opposite sex friends we are long term friends with, but none of them never rang any alarms for me. he's really good friends with my best guy friend and i love that. i've even let him hang out with a bunch of his female friends on his own without a care because i trusted him. this situation just reaalllly seems to irk me.

it's different when it's someone new.

I agree that someone "new" and attractive is enough to make my antennas go up.

I like jeane' advice.

Ask him gently if he is wanting to slow it down or having second thoughts about marriage and kids.

I literally just had to do this with my bull yesterday. He was full force ready to buy a house and get engaged, then he was acting weird and admitted he got ahead of himself. It's fine...not the end of the world. But gotta slow it down again

Taurus are very pace oriented (except for the Gemini dominated ones like me)

we did have this discussion quite a bit. he was the one who initiated moving in, i was the one who held it off. he talks about saving money for our house. he shows he is ready. he proudly introduces me to everyone he knows as his gf.

but I guess i should have the talk again.

click to expand

My guy too, saving money, talking about kids and marriage all the time. But I think the closer they get to committing the more they might second guess it or freak our . Him and I have been together 1 1/2 years.

If you bring it up, do it gently. Taurus get go into defensive mode and get stubborn plus they don't like being vulnerable. But they are usually honest.

Posted by OnTheVirg

Posted by saggurl88

At least you got to him before anything happened and nipped it in the bud.

But my question is-

How did you find out that he searched for her on social media? Do you keep tabs on his browsing history?

that's the thing, if i didn't how far would he go? I don't like thinking of these scenarios and I try not to.

No, it literally happened right there in front of my face while he was on his phone while i was resting my head on his lap watching some show. obviously wasn't trying to hide it. Still, bugs me why though? it would have made sense and i'd be at ease if he had searched everyone, but it was just that one particular chick..

click to expand

Damn. Next time you become aware of it pretend nothing is amiss and see how far he takes it.

Adding her as a friend on sm is not cheating. But DM-ing her to get her digits or trying to set up a meeting one on one... then you'd have caught him in his true intentions.

As it is now his excuse is somewhat valid.