Posted by TeddyBearMD
See, here is the thing about these male-to-female "friendships".  As most of you with "male friends" have already stated, the guys are only your "friend" because you put him back in the friend zone AFTER he tried to take it further.

This means that he is basically waiting for the day that you decide to "want more" or the day where you come crying to him about your relationship problems so he can take advantage of your vulnerability. So basically, because you friend zoned these guys who wanted more, they are basically on stand-by. They are backup dick for the female as soon as there is any trouble in her current relationship or there is a crack in that foundation, a guy is going to come seeping through it.

Valid point if it's a fresh friendship, the attraction remains. However, for long term friendships the attraction fades and by then they've been upgraded to the family zone-acceptance. Not only that, but you're talking about a 5+ years wait to have a shot at it.  Are you willing to wait that long for a one nighter?
Because that is some dedication right there.


Now, as a man, what kinda pussified cuck is seriously going to put up with that butter? What kind of man is going to take her seriously if she has all these "guy friends" around her all the time. Imagine being with your girl and knowing that as soon as you guys have your first fight, she is going to go running to one of her "guy friends" to complain and tell him all about it. You know how many times i've seen this happen? with the end result being, the girl treetrunks her "male friend" for "comfort"......  TOO treetrunkING MANY.

No dude. That's what female friends are for. And this goes back to putting the whole boundary system in check. Relationship issues should be discussed amongst the two individuals involved. To bring anyone else into it, regardless of gender, will invite in more issues. It's you and your partner's opinions that are relevant not theirs.

Now there are some exceptions to this. They guy friend could be gay as treetrunk, could be her bother, cousin, he could be the next door neighbor that she saw everyday and got sick of seeing, so she doesn't desire him. But outside of those SUPER RARE circumstances, don't trust it. That's all i'm saying. I know some of you disagree, but it's only because you're not being completely honest about the situation.

Or you're justifying it by twisting it to your view because you may have some underlying trust issues with women.
 


Posted by Scruffles
@Soul
@VirgoGent
@Virgorean
@CarmelizedCoffee
@Shadowcat


Looks great! But cant, I will be going on vacay that day, but good luck to all! =)
Posted by DickButt
Posted by Virgorean
Posted by DickButt
Posted by Virgorean
Posted by DickButt
Posted by Virgorean
Posted by DickButt
Posted by Virgorean
Why do the men go silent when called out on their bull? For example, stew on an issue that occurred a while ago that bothered them (then), but then deny it never bothered them. Yet, bring it into the light two months later.


Men don't like to display emotion because to us it's irrational. So they step away and think about it. Some will bend it to their narrative, some will scold their ownself, and some will come back and talk to you about it. To hold it in for two months is just a lot of energy wasted. I can't think about something negative for an hour let alone two months holy crap.

The thing is I had a feeling it would become an issue then and I tried to engage him in a discussion about it. However, he never brought it up and acted nonchalant about it. Most likely was internalizing his thoughts as he doesn't like to discuss them because it perpetuates the issue. Which I'm fine and dandy with if that is his way of overcoming it. But don't blow up at me two months from now acting like everything was fine when it clearly wasn't, hence, going silent. In the past I have been quite yielding and that would get him to talk again. In part because he has admitted to not being really good at communicating his feelings which is when I showed patience and understanding with him. But I refuse this time and now he has dug in his heels. Stubborn bull is stubborn. Any other suggestions?


Tell him that if it was that big of an issue he should have brought it up right then and there. Use logic to defuse him. The secret to get a taurus to stop being stubborn and to make us listen and acknowledge our faults is to use logic. We understand logic because we can't deny facts. And if he does then it's more of an ego issue. It's not ok to hold something in and just blow up 2 months later. But question. Did he blow up on you because of a fight or something that you two had in that moment? Cause if thats the case everything comes out then. He might have just swallowed the anger earlier.

First thing I mentioned and then...silence. Then sounds like an ego thing for calling him out on that.

Actually, I was seeking advice from him. We were having a casual conversation and he was being helpful, but then BAM! Out of nowhere, the blow up occurred. And by blowup I don't mean in an angry rage, but he did take up an attacking stance.

Sounds like he was pissed off for 2 months....60 days....THAT'S A LONG ASS TIME. Logic his ass to death y'all virgos are good at that. Disarm the fool.


Well he hid it really well...could have had me fooled.

And logic can't bypass his stubbornness -_-. Legit the most stubborn individual I know.


Then know, it necessarily isn't a taurus issue because ego makes even those more flexible signs stubborn. Not that bulls don't have egos, but when someone legit holds something in for THAT long and then goes off they've got issues and they need to grow in areas of how conduct and carry themselves.
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Thanks, I shall keep that in mind.
Posted by DickButt
Posted by Virgorean
Posted by DickButt
Posted by Virgorean
Posted by DickButt
Posted by Virgorean
Why do the men go silent when called out on their bull? For example, stew on an issue that occurred a while ago that bothered them (then), but then deny it never bothered them. Yet, bring it into the light two months later.


Men don't like to display emotion because to us it's irrational. So they step away and think about it. Some will bend it to their narrative, some will scold their ownself, and some will come back and talk to you about it. To hold it in for two months is just a lot of energy wasted. I can't think about something negative for an hour let alone two months holy crap.

The thing is I had a feeling it would become an issue then and I tried to engage him in a discussion about it. However, he never brought it up and acted nonchalant about it. Most likely was internalizing his thoughts as he doesn't like to discuss them because it perpetuates the issue. Which I'm fine and dandy with if that is his way of overcoming it. But don't blow up at me two months from now acting like everything was fine when it clearly wasn't, hence, going silent. In the past I have been quite yielding and that would get him to talk again. In part because he has admitted to not being really good at communicating his feelings which is when I showed patience and understanding with him. But I refuse this time and now he has dug in his heels. Stubborn bull is stubborn. Any other suggestions?


Tell him that if it was that big of an issue he should have brought it up right then and there. Use logic to defuse him. The secret to get a taurus to stop being stubborn and to make us listen and acknowledge our faults is to use logic. We understand logic because we can't deny facts. And if he does then it's more of an ego issue. It's not ok to hold something in and just blow up 2 months later. But question. Did he blow up on you because of a fight or something that you two had in that moment? Cause if thats the case everything comes out then. He might have just swallowed the anger earlier.

First thing I mentioned and then...silence. Then sounds like an ego thing for calling him out on that.

Actually, I was seeking advice from him. We were having a casual conversation and he was being helpful, but then BAM! Out of nowhere, the blow up occurred. And by blowup I don't mean in an angry rage, but he did take up an attacking stance.

Sounds like he was pissed off for 2 months....60 days....THAT'S A LONG ASS TIME. Logic his ass to death y'all virgos are good at that. Disarm the fool.
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Well he hid it really well...could have had me fooled.

And logic can't bypass his stubbornness -_-. Legit the most stubborn individual I know.
Posted by DickButt
Posted by Virgorean
Posted by DickButt
Posted by Virgorean
Why do the men go silent when called out on their bull? For example, stew on an issue that occurred a while ago that bothered them (then), but then deny it never bothered them. Yet, bring it into the light two months later.


Men don't like to display emotion because to us it's irrational. So they step away and think about it. Some will bend it to their narrative, some will scold their ownself, and some will come back and talk to you about it. To hold it in for two months is just a lot of energy wasted. I can't think about something negative for an hour let alone two months holy crap.

The thing is I had a feeling it would become an issue then and I tried to engage him in a discussion about it. However, he never brought it up and acted nonchalant about it. Most likely was internalizing his thoughts as he doesn't like to discuss them because it perpetuates the issue. Which I'm fine and dandy with if that is his way of overcoming it. But don't blow up at me two months from now acting like everything was fine when it clearly wasn't, hence, going silent. In the past I have been quite yielding and that would get him to talk again. In part because he has admitted to not being really good at communicating his feelings which is when I showed patience and understanding with him. But I refuse this time and now he has dug in his heels. Stubborn bull is stubborn. Any other suggestions?


Tell him that if it was that big of an issue he should have brought it up right then and there. Use logic to defuse him. The secret to get a taurus to stop being stubborn and to make us listen and acknowledge our faults is to use logic. We understand logic because we can't deny facts. And if he does then it's more of an ego issue. It's not ok to hold something in and just blow up 2 months later. But question. Did he blow up on you because of a fight or something that you two had in that moment? Cause if thats the case everything comes out then. He might have just swallowed the anger earlier.
click to expand

First thing I mentioned and then...silence. Then sounds like an ego thing for calling him out on that.

Actually, I was seeking advice from him. We were having a casual conversation and he was being helpful, but then BAM! Out of nowhere, the blow up occurred. And by blowup I don't mean in an angry rage, but he did take up an attacking stance.
Posted by DickButt
Posted by Virgorean
Why do the men go silent when called out on their bull? For example, stew on an issue that occurred a while ago that bothered them (then), but then deny it never bothered them. Yet, bring it into the light two months later.


Men don't like to display emotion because to us it's irrational. So they step away and think about it. Some will bend it to their narrative, some will scold their ownself, and some will come back and talk to you about it. To hold it in for two months is just a lot of energy wasted. I can't think about something negative for an hour let alone two months holy crap.
click to expand

The thing is I had a feeling it would become an issue then and I tried to engage him in a discussion about it. However, he never brought it up and acted nonchalant about it. Most likely was internalizing his thoughts as he doesn't like to discuss them because it perpetuates the issue. Which I'm fine and dandy with if that is his way of overcoming it. But don't blow up at me two months from now acting like everything was fine when it clearly wasn't, hence, going silent. In the past I have been quite yielding and that would get him to talk again. In part because he has admitted to not being really good at communicating his feelings which is when I showed patience and understanding with him. But I refuse this time and now he has dug in his heels. Stubborn bull is stubborn. Any other suggestions?
Posted by Rindaroo
Posted by Virgorean
Posted by pinkbird03
Posted by LadyAnon
I slept with him for the span of about one month. Then I brought the relationship question up. He came up with the idea of just hanging out and not having sex, so I gave it a try. It was nice for a little bit, but I wasn't feeling like I was recieving all of him. That's when I gave us some space.

He's got this sweet, gushy inside which is the only side I see/he shows me when we are together. Of course super sensitive... my breathing adjusts and he asks me what I'm thinking. Gives me the sense that I could hurt him easily. Look what that got me. Haha


Its when I am direct with my communication that he scrambles away for a bit. It would really help to get some tips on how to have effective and clear communication with a Capricorn.


Sounds like he only wanted sex, not a relationship. I've always been able to talk to Capricorn very openly. Just ask him what you want to know. They seem to be very honest. To help with his scrambles, do it through text message because they like to take their time to think their answer through and say it in the best way possible.


If she's trying to keep him from running away the best method would be to face him head on face to face and be direct about it. Texting him would just enable his wishy washy behavior.

@OP Although, when you speak to him, do not be confrontational about it. Be polite and voice your concerns of how you feel and let him know where you stand. They will respect you for your honesty.


With my Cap, we are going through stuff & text messaging works. It gives him time to process instead of just reacting on the spot. I really prefer face to face but it really is about the communication however that happens.

Really there is nothing you can do to stop them running away. They will get the message either way. Just important to be honest and direct and not attacking.
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Mercury could have an effect on it. I'm a Virgo Merc and his is Cap. We prefer to hash our issues out in person or over the phone if it's not feasible. The tone of texting, to us, can be easily misconstrued. At least with the former two, emotions can be detected.

But I agree, the communication should be a discussion and not an attack.
Posted by pinkbird03
Posted by LadyAnon
I slept with him for the span of about one month. Then I brought the relationship question up. He came up with the idea of just hanging out and not having sex, so I gave it a try. It was nice for a little bit, but I wasn't feeling like I was recieving all of him. That's when I gave us some space.

He's got this sweet, gushy inside which is the only side I see/he shows me when we are together. Of course super sensitive... my breathing adjusts and he asks me what I'm thinking. Gives me the sense that I could hurt him easily. Look what that got me. Haha


Its when I am direct with my communication that he scrambles away for a bit. It would really help to get some tips on how to have effective and clear communication with a Capricorn.


Sounds like he only wanted sex, not a relationship. I've always been able to talk to Capricorn very openly. Just ask him what you want to know. They seem to be very honest. To help with his scrambles, do it through text message because they like to take their time to think their answer through and say it in the best way possible.
click to expand


If she's trying to keep him from running away the best method would be to face him head on face to face and be direct about it. Texting him would just enable his wishy washy behavior.

@OP Although, when you speak to him, do not be confrontational about it. Be polite and voice your concerns of how you feel and let him know where you stand. They will respect you for your honesty.
Why do the men go silent when called out on their bull? For example, stew on an issue that occurred a while ago that bothered them (then), but then deny it never bothered them. Yet, bring it into the light two months later.
Virgo checklist 101:

-Witty banter
-Ask a lot of questions
-Doll up for you
-Send you links, tag you in stuff related to your interests. (Actually comes off more subtle than you think)
-Offer suggestions of activities
-Make time for you
-Do sweet, surprising gestures like offer to bring you soup if you're sick, pick up coffee for you along the way, or pay for your lunch. I won't mention I am doing this.
-Actually tell you I like you. Rare, but if it happens treasure it
Sen-si-tive.

They are all fun and giddy pranksters. They love to joke around, but the minute you poke fun at them they become serious really quickly and speak in a matter of fact tone. Both the males and females.
Posted by Capz
Capricorn – TAURUS January 1-January 10 – 2nd Capricorn Decan

Ruler & Subruler: Saturn-Venus

Venus, planet of love, softens Saturn’s stern influence and gives a gentleness and serenity to the Capricorn-Taurus personality. Without question, Capricorn-Taurus is the most optimistic and social of all Capricorn’S. They’ve come into the new calendar year. When they celebrate they’re birthday each year, they can celebrate fresh starts, clean slates, and all the achievements that they have attained already. Saturn, with its disciplinary energy, allows them to tackle tasks that seem totally out of their reach. The Capricorn drive makes ambitious demands, whereas the Taurus common sense gives them planning know-how. They are masters at making itineraries.

Their lover, family and friends take first place in their heart, they are completely devoted to their wants and needs. Capricorn-Taurus is uncommunicative about their feelings. Love is a deep emotion and they don’t always speak of it. Those best suited for Capricorn-Taurus is a partner with whom to share the joys and sorrows of everyday life. Consequently, Capricorn-Taurus should avoid involvement with dependent types who need attention and are unable to keep their nose out of their mates business.

Capricorn-Taurus are strivers; they have the drive and ambition necessary to reach the top of their profession. In their philosophy, defeat is only a temporary setback. Extremely resourceful, Capricorn-Taurus are good at making the best of a bad situation. Capricorn-Taurus can be devoted not so much to a person as to the relationship itself and to a belief in the concept of marriage or living together. Being vulnerable and admitting to weakness is essential to sharing love and many born in this week handicap themselves by maintaining a strong façade.

Erogenous Zone: Capricorn-Taurus compensation prize, for what it’s worth, is an interesting or sexy chin, whether it gives their face a look of determination and lovely grace.

Now realizing he does have a sexy chin, but I get lost in the deep greens of his eyes. /swoon
There is drama just the same within a male group as in with a female group. The difference is how it's exposed. I make friends easily with males because I would rather talk about football, current events, or nerdy stuff. Things that most of my female friends don't care for or know about. They like to gossip or talk about the latest fashion and I don't have much to say on the topics, which is probably why I come off as detached a lot of the times.

I don't pretend to deny that my male friends have liked me. A few have admitted to it, but I make it clear that it is only friendship I value and if they cross that line then I'll distance myself. Although, when I'm in a relationship I impose boundaries and I will introduce my guy to them so they both have a better understanding of each other. The ones who are truly the female's friends will respect that.

I have 8 male friends who I have been friends with for at the least 5+ years. Except for one who is an ex, I have never been intimate with any of them. I've met some of their SOs. Some are intimidated by me, but that's where it is my duty, as the friend, to make her feel comfortable by respecting their boundaries. When a male introduces his female friend to his SO then it shows he values the female's friendship.
Posted by starwars
cant relate

@virgorean?


The intimidation I can relate. But I've never been called cold, shy maybe, but not cold.

Odd, with all that earth and Libra in your chart you would think to come off as very friendly and warm.
Earthlings, Sags, Pisces. I realized why I get along well with Pisces because most of my planets are in the 12th house smh. I'm a walking conundrum.
^Then you can let the healing process begin. Focus on a more refined you so you're at your best when you do meet someone new.
Posted by rekt
Posted by Virgorean
When we are in love, when we are deeply in love the little things we did to bring comfort to your life become an eye opener after the relationship dissolves. It is afterwards then when we become appreciated the most.

Your Virgo either settled and became complacent or he hasn’t envisioned a future with you. It doesn’t mean you’re a terrible person, but neither is he and I’m sure he doesn’t think any less of you. It merely means you two have different outlooks. Instead of being bitter about it look at it as an opportunity to find someone more appreciative of your love.


it's really easy to get super bitter about virgos though so i never look down on anyone that feels scorned. i've definitely blown up the virgo board with my own BS regarding you guys. lol.
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You've had one too many bitter berries then.
Except for one, who is my Aqua ex, I never went back to an ex. I had an on/off relationship with the Aqua, but at the time I was deeply in love. Unless there was something worthwhile or a long term investment, returning to an ex was never in my mind. I’m not one to easily give up. However, once I’ve checked out of a relationship it’s rather high I’m looking for an exit and if I reach that stage then that means I’ll no longer return.
When we are in love, when we are deeply in love the little things we did to bring comfort to your life become an eye opener after the relationship dissolves. It is afterwards then when we become appreciated the most.

Your Virgo either settled and became complacent or he hasn’t envisioned a future with you. It doesn’t mean you’re a terrible person, but neither is he and I’m sure he doesn’t think any less of you. It merely means you two have different outlooks. Instead of being bitter about it look at it as an opportunity to find someone more appreciative of your love.
Posted by Chuckcem
Posted by Virgorean
Posted by Chuckcem
Posted by Virgorean
Posted by Chuckcem
Well looks like I'm going to get together with her nextweekend. She's been very responsive, so that's a plus.


What will you guys be doing?

I figured it was her busyness. I'll rarely make future plans then back out with someone I'm interested in getting to know. Take it easy and have fun!

Edit: Just read she has Virgo Venus and Mars. You're in for a slow ride haha.


So looks like those plans are getting pushed back one week due to family. We'll see what happens next week.


Sounds like you aren't a priority at the moment. Of course family will be above all. Hopefully sheshe is being truthful and isn't making up excuses. No matter how busy I can be I'll always find time for the one I'm interested and will plan for a set date.


I always assume I'm never a priority until the woman gets TRULY pushy. She also offered a firm date to reschedule, so I'll give her one more shot. After that I'll just let it drop.

Her reasoning was actually more detailed. She found out that one of her family members has a special event early the next day and her whole family is making a whole day of it. She said she'll have to be up early, which means she wouldn't be able to stay out late the night before with me.

We'll see though. She's mentioned this family member multiple times to me, so it's not that surprising.
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Well sounds like not a flake after all

-Firm date set ✔
-Detailed and legitimate explanation on family excuse ✔
-Giving you a heads up of potential family behavior so you aren't prepared for a shock factor if you come into contact with them ✔

I wish you good luck!