Posted by HippeeGem

Posted by Earthy
I'll post more tomorrow

Apparently I write alot😂😂

You write so freely, I think that’s admirable and shows your bravery. I love to write and can’t share. I did once, I wrote a book and was almost done and shared a bit of it with a few friends, my kiddos, and my ex husband. I never finished it. I always want to, though I make excuses and am my own worst enemy some days.

I only shared the prologue and every person in there own way told me they got chills or cried. Which is what I was completely going for.

You’re writing about your own personal experiences is a beautiful thing. It’s honest and real. And meaningful.

Congrats on your engagement 🙏

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Awww thank u so much...

I'm actually really really emotional ( cancer moon) but I can never Express my feelings to the person I want to...they never seem to come out.
So writing in my book helps me release without feeling vulnerable which I hate

Posted by Sunsetvirgo
Omg... are you engaged to the Aries ? 🥰😍😍😍😍😍😍

😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊

I'll post more tomorrow

Apparently I write alot😂😂

What am I feeling

DIFFERENT

Things are different,
Once a smile on a handsome face
Now a half moon signaling disgrace

A heart that bleed with love unconditionally
Now a wound that bleeds beyond uncontrollably

The aching numbness of love lost
The stinging burning of a love crossed

Now the moons have changed ;
The beautiful moons of blue and yellow strings.
Pass with moons of red and black
Shall the difference of moons ever come back

Maybe it's best not to look at the moon; then you cant see the difference

Posted by saggurl88
These are beautiful. Thanks for sharing. Are you engaged to the person you were writing about?

No these are my past situations....but I have one for him too.....I just wont post that one.

What am I feeling

He betrayed me,.... my trust that I gave so freely. Now he wants me back. So I said yes...

Just becuz I want to take his soul and destroy it. Make him feel all the pain that I feel. Make him rethink everything he ever knew -like I feel. Is that wrong?

Do I care that Its wrong? NO
I gave myself to him, ever part of myself. He accepted it, took advantage of it, then trashed it. It hurts so damn bad.

I'm bitter, I know I'm bitter....

And when I'm done he will be bitter too. So yes let's work it out " no matter what" right babe!!!!!

What am I feeling?

I'm not sure, I knew he was gone. I waited 5 months to see if he would come for me and he didnt so I knew. Even before then I knew. We had faded! I could feel it.

Some where along the line we had loved each other. He never made it clear and neither did I, but i know that at some point we did- truly.....i felt it. Words weren't needed.

I was moving on- I had gotten myself past the pain. Suffered in silence and I was starting not to think of him every minute of the day on repeat. The emotional tie was breaking. But- ... I had to know, i had to know for sure.

I figured i would hear it in his voice, i figured he would make an excuse not to see me, i figured he would out right reject me with no reason....leaving me with no closure. Like he unknowingly had done already.

I never thought he would say wat he said. Never!!!!!
I felt relieved, I felt sad, and panicked, and hurt!!!!! Becuz with just a few words he had brought all my "wat ifs" to an end.
It felt good, I felt free....and yet I felt this giant hole appear in my chest. Am I bitter?

I wanted a chance. A real one. But i knew that i would never give him one becuz hes waited so long. So why?.. ..I think I just wanted to know he wanted me, and that I wasnt the only one who had regrets, or thought we could have went another way.

I loved him. Not becuz of anything he did (he did nothing to earn it) not becuz of who he was ( I never took the time to learn him) but becuz of how I felt around him. My natural response to him, he brought out things in me that I...cant say I've ever felt before..is that love?

Not just sexual, tho sex was the only way i felt comfortable expressing my feelings to him. His energy was to strong, he made me feel weak... and I lost my voice whenever I would try to speak. So I said nothing. When I wanted to know what we were doing. I said nothing.
When I knew my feelings were getting to strong and I couldn't hold them in a second longer? I vanished- hoped and prayed he would come and find me
But he didnt. My love was on its own... I loved alone.

So how do I feel now....free, lost, regretfuland completely free. But I know that that's not all my fault. There was two of us. And maybe just maybe...I was actually feeling wat I was feeling ... all alone.
So I cant really regret any of wat I didnt do. I loved him purely, with no expectations and without the need to confined him. ..I loved him...and now it's time to put that away.

I wanna cry, but I cant....becuz i never knew if he ever truly loved me. If we lost our love together...I would cry

But becuz I dont think I will ever truly know for sure, it feels like my tears are just stuck in place. Almost falling

So I have this thing where when I end a relationship/ situationship I always write down my feelings in a book. And since I'm now engaged😁😍😍😍😍 .. I thought maybe it's time to let my " little black book" go.

Wanted to post some pages here since it's the perfect platform ( anonymous)
Feel free to do the same if you like.

Ok I'll play along

*Dick slapping...does this count
*Edging.....without allow him to finish ( ever🤣) or would that be orgasm control.

* spitting....
*dick smothering ( made this word up😁)

👆 all things I'm surprised are considered weird sexually

Posted by Aniesha23

Posted by Earthy
I have a scorp bestie,
And I love what ur describing about them.

Not what ur sister has done ( that's extreme) but more the "sneaky" thing ur describing. I love people who keep parts of themselves/their lives private. That's how I see it..."private" not "sneaky"

Everyone isnt entitled to know EVERYTHING about you....this includes family as well.
And have u ever asked her if she ran drugs? Doubt it! So why wouldn't u call it not freely giving info
Why do u immediately go to sneaky...lol
Seems it says more about u and paranoia,distrust,and insecurities that u may have.
Yes she's ur sister but u dont get to just know everything about her....and like u said...you guys aren't that close.

Also: even if shes a cookiemonster ( she could be: scorps ya know🤷‍♀️) dont use her downfall as a reason to have a " shes not all that" moment

Do better Aries🙄

I don’t care that I did not know everything, people are entitled to not share every detail about themselves. But when you’re living under a roof with other people and a minor, you would expect a little more consideration on the decisions everyone makes, especially big ones like that. This ordeal has affected us badly, social services got involved.

She had a boyfriend who she used to lay down with who never knew what she was upto, maybe deal with a situation like this first before deflecting and claiming it is paranoia and insecurities.

But like I said my mother is a very understanding woman, any issues that she was having that lead to her making those decisions could have been stopped.

Apparently I should be the one who should do better when she has never owned up to what she had done, didn’t care how that affected me, my future. She’s a grown woman, my older sibling it never occured to her explain what had happened because she did not care to. I saw how my mum treated me for it, so in the end kept it to myself to not allow the same to be done to her, yet I am the one who needs to do better. Ridiculous.

And why would I even sit there and think to ask her about if she’s ever run drugs, when someone holds themselves to a high standard and judges others for doing so called “stupid things” It would be the last thing to cross my mind. Like how does that even make any sense?!

I was only only trying to give background information on our family history in general, to explain dynamics and if there would of been a route to her to hide something like this. I’ve never made her feel like butter about this, I was just more hurt about this made my mother feel about her parenting skills, like she failed her.

At this point I was only trying to figure out how I can assist my mum in maintaining a relationship with her, my mothers always done her best by us I just want her to have a peace of mind.

anyways thanks for your opinion.

click to expand

Hi again

I fully understand what ur saying about being inconsiderate. But just think how human nature is usually to please oneself, consideration is usually a after thought most times..sorry...how old are u? This should be a reality for you by now.

How can u help ur mom?....just remind her of all the accomplishments that ur sister has made and then tell her that this mistake she made isnt her fault. Honestly if shes ur moms " favorite" I dont really understand why u would need to. She will be singing ur sisters praises in no time.

Ur response sounds argumentative, if I wasnt so used to Aries ppl I would have assumed that u were upset by my message. I know better. Good luck with ur family

And hopefully u will one day stop resenting ur sister so much.

I have a scorp bestie,
And I love what ur describing about them.

Not what ur sister has done ( that's extreme) but more the "sneaky" thing ur describing. I love people who keep parts of themselves/their lives private. That's how I see it..."private" not "sneaky"

Everyone isnt entitled to know EVERYTHING about you....this includes family as well.
And have u ever asked her if she ran drugs? Doubt it! So why wouldn't u call it not freely giving info
Why do u immediately go to sneaky...lol
Seems it says more about u and paranoia,distrust,and insecurities that u may have.
Yes she's ur sister but u dont get to just know everything about her....and like u said...you guys aren't that close.

Also: even if shes a cookiemonster ( she could be: scorps ya know🤷‍♀️) dont use her downfall as a reason to have a " shes not all that" moment

Do better Aries🙄

Makes me feel like I'm missing a part of the connection and even tho sexually....he is soooooooo that guy for me

Conversation wise, he tries but he just can't with my level of communication.

Posted by virgoop

Posted by Earthy
Deftly feeling that divide as well

i don't know if it's a mutable thing or whatever but in many other interactions i've been feeling this. i've had this fwb with a Cap sun/Leo moon. it was purely sexual and whenever he tried to start convos, i just hated every minute. i prefer he does NOT talk to me. i don't wanna know anything about him on a personal level. and if i dig a little deeper, i probably will NOT like him.

but then this Pisces sun/Libra moon is different. we've been talking for some time now. i've been very honest about dating other men but he seems to accept this and he shares a lot about himself to me. i LIKE this guy, genuinely and on a personal level. but oddly enough, i'm not really in a hurry to bang him.

in fact, he's fine with me dragging on and on topics that last for days and weeks.

click to expand

Yup mine is a little different since I'm in a relationship. My bf isnt really a long talker...and usually I get to the point before he tunes me out😂😂 problem solved....but lately not having someone that I can talk in circles to and have him actually listen-has been making me feel kinda lonely....even tho he's physically right there.

Here's the weird part.....everytime he looks at me I want him inside me.....like I'm insatiable lately..my sex drive has never been higher than his, but even he's noticed.
But even after sex I feel lonely again becuz

I need to share my thoughts and he just can't sit thro hours of me repeating myself and brainstorming random thoughts out loud.😪

Deftly feeling that divide as well