My bf is a Capricorn and we are like 2 sides of 1 coin...but it's completely different for me with Cap females. One of my coworkers is a Cap and she drives me crazy always trying to run the show...she can't take even the gentlest criticism...and she acts like she knows everything there is to know about our profession. My stepsis is a Cap and we have had a tumultuous relationship as well. My best friend is a Virgo...I would say I get along best with that sign, Aries (my moon) and other Cancers. I form fast friendships with Scorpios but have held back after getting stung one time too many.
I haven??t talked to one of my (former) friends in months. After a series of events that led me to doubt the sincerity of her friendship, I decided to purge her from my life. For awhile after she realized I was avoiding her she began commenting on my FB incessantly etc. Now she doesn??t talk to me anymore either. I think that if she is being honest with herself she will know why I no longer want her in my life but I can??t help feeling that I should spell it out. Is mutual silence a resolution? I??m not sure - I feel drama-free, but not entirely at peace about it.
I??m a Cancer & normally I have a hard time letting go of people but I no longer trust her & don??t want to talk to her again. I also get the impression she thinks my boyfriend has something to do with the situation. He doesn??t ??? it just happens that her final insult fell a few months into my relationship with him.
In the time we were friends she ditched me at a concert (after lying about the fact she only came to pick up guys ??? she??s married but was experimenting), set me up with a guy she wanted but couldn??t have (without telling me any of that), & then let me know she expected & was ready to end our friendship when I become a mom because I ???just wouldn??t be interesting to her anymore.?? (she HATES children). I discovered later she set me up with the object of her desires to take the heat off after her husband found out. I had already fallen for the guy when I began to notice the obsessive way she asked for details of the one & only time I made out with him. After I realized he wasn??t into me I moved to break off any attachment & she always had a reason why I should keep at it (he??s just shy; he asked about you; blah, blah). She was so persuasive that I trusted her. Meanwhile the only times I saw this guy she was there too & took complete control of the interactions. I finally saw through her & cut things off with the guy and for awhile she acted supportive and indignant about him not liking me but then I started dating my now boyfriend and she realigned herself with the guy. She is v. controlling & manipulative & hearing her say I was only an amusement of sorts which she expects to lose interest in if I have children was the last straw for me. Would an explanation just pull her back into feeling like she has power in the situation? Should I delete her as a FB friend (our last link) & call it a day?
yes ~ a club - that's it exactly...even if she doesn't act totally obsessed with her kids (which she doesn't - she's v. grounded) she has newly surrounded herself with other moms almost exclusively and sometimes get a sense that she thinks I just don't get it in terms of the new world that she is in.
How have your friendships changed when one party became a parent? If the other person later had kids as well, did things balance out?
I??ve had some friendships change recently due to the topic of children, though for opposite reasons. Lately, I??ve been in a weird place??_ I??m approaching thirty & always thought I??d be a mother by now. My guy & I plan to get married & start a family, but it??s not going to happen in the next 5 minutes. I have 2 friends who always knew they didn??t want to have kids. One likes kids but knows motherhood isn??t for her. The other can??t stand children in the most extreme sense. When I introduced her to my 6 year old niece, one of my favorite people in the world, she just sort of sniffed at her and moved on. Another friend of hers came back into town for the first time in 5 years with her newborn son & she refused to have dinner with this friend if it meant even SEEING the baby! Our friendship pretty much came to a halt when she told me that she expected & planned to end our friendship when I had kids because I would ???no longer be enjoyable to be around.?? I was like, ???Here, let me save you the trouble, Crazy!??
The flipside is that my best friend now has two kids & is so immersed in motherhood that I feel like my lack of a pregnant tummy or stroller bores her. It drives me crazy how she rarely comments on my FB (I know, I know, a little old to be worrying about that) but if someone else is talking about their kid??s poo she??s all over the thing! I read Dr. Louann Brizendine??s book The Female Brain & she says that during pregnancy permanent changes happen to a woman??s brain creating The Mommy Brain (it??s a really interesting book and covers all stages of a woman's life). I can see the changes & understand what it??s all about, but I??m just not there. Sometimes I feel annoyed, other times I feel left out. I adore her children & don??t mind when seeing her constitutes coming over during naptime for coffee but it can be a struggle to sit back and watch your closest friendship flicker and change. I feel like I??ve lost her but I feel like it??s temporary ??? like things will change again when I have kids of my own. Just wondering about other people's experiences.
In the past I found that it took an honest assessment of myself and my relationship choices, a lot of journaling, friends with different approaches - the one who takes me out to have a good time, the shoulder to cry on who doesn't mind repetition, the one who bashes my ex with me. I do know exactly what you mean - I had a disastrous relationship come a few years after my first real love broke up with me and afterward I felt like I'd be alone forever. I was independent - with a degree, home ownership, hobbies...but I felt that I was doomed to be alone forever...that fish with a bicycle mantra was useless to me. I knew I didn't NEED a man...I just wanted one. I advise doing what you need to purge the exes from your system and you will feel stronger every day.
Also, for me, I blasted "Independently Happy" by Blue October as often as possible.
I had a relationship with a Libra years ago...there was a strong attraction in the beginning, but it fizzled out within a few months. He always seemed sort of mean and thought I was "crazy" if I was in one of those typical Cancer moods. In the end it was the worst relationship I ever had. Do you have other compatible signs in your charts? I agree with spica that it could work out if he has other water signs in his chart, but in general I don't think this is a good combination (clearly there are always exceptions). I once wrote down every guy I ever liked - crushed on - dated, whatever and found that many of them were Libras. They must have something we lunar ladies like!
Growing up I sometimes felt my Dad was too critical or really too b&w in his criticisms - it got under my Cancer skin, but I know he loves me and is proud of me, so that is all that matters. Mom can go between firey Aries conviction to weepy Cancer in a short span - she let me be emotional AND taught me to have a backbone. All in all I get along well with my parents; I am especially close to my Mom.
homemade pasta sauce makes me think of Sundays at my Nanna and Nanno's house and chocolate chip cookies make me think of snow days - my mom would always build a fire in the fireplace and make us cookies and cocoa if school was cancelled because of snow.
Potatoes! My latest favorite way to eat potatoes is the Potato Spinach Square recipe from a cookbook called Vegan Brunch. It has nutritional yeast and lemon juice in it and the potatoes get a divine buttery flavor from the olive oil.
I find myself drawn to Capricorns and Libras, sometimes other Cancers. I find that a Cancer male is too much like me...too many mood swings to make a relationship work for more than friendship. I have Venus in Gemini which might explain the Libran attraction - I am turned off by other air signs. My boyfriend is a Capricorn and though our natures are different I have found that Cappies and Cancers are two sides of the same coin. I think we are a good match in particular because our asc and moons are the same and our Mars and Venus signs make a sort of cross that works out (I have Venus in Gemini, Mars in Virgo - he has Venus in Capricorn and Mars in Aquarius).