Posted by nikkistar
Posted by Meg123
Posted by nikkistar
If you need constant, day to day, communication, then you may want to rethink moving forward with a Cancer man. Especially if you think that lack of daily communication equates to being hot and cold.

Thinking he is "acting up" because he isn't talking to you everyday, shows me that you will never be okay with this type of communication habit. Cancer men aren't good at texting and calling, great in person, but out of sight out of mind at times. It is what it is. They will tell you if they aren't interested anymore, upfront. They just give two butters about texting and calling everyday.


That is the point ..if he was like that since the we started off then i would have understood. Yes he doesn't like calling and so i have never insisted on it as well. But we were texting constantly for a month.

Hence the confusion. but not what you have mentioned its like a common trait i understand.


That's because the first month is the honeymoon period. Once they get comfy, they can relax on it.
click to expand


ahhh..thank you dear.

any advice and tips are welcome

he is really nice and cute and i do like him
Posted by nikkistar
If you need constant, day to day, communication, then you may want to rethink moving forward with a Cancer man. Especially if you think that lack of daily communication equates to being hot and cold.

Thinking he is "acting up" because he isn't talking to you everyday, shows me that you will never be okay with this type of communication habit. Cancer men aren't good at texting and calling, great in person, but out of sight out of mind at times. It is what it is. They will tell you if they aren't interested anymore, upfront. They just give two butters about texting and calling everyday.


That is the point ..if he was like that since the we started off then i would have understood. Yes he doesn't like calling and so i have never insisted on it as well. But we were texting constantly for a month.

Hence the confusion. but not what you have mentioned its like a common trait i understand.
Hi....I met this cancer guy online. We had been chatting for over a month while he was away and have met him twice since he came back to London. He has most of the characteristics as mentioned in many blogs. He is an introvert, although with me he speaks a lot with me. He likes to hold hands, loves cuddling, stolen kisses, light pecks. He is fun to be around.

On the second date we ended up at his place in the afternoon as it was raining and then got intimate. He didn't want me to leave later in the evening. All that is sweet and nice.

What happens is, and what i am unable to understand is he goes quiet and doesn't msg for a day or so. Then he is back to his usual self. Is the silent treatment usual. How do i know if he is interested or its just like an on and off thing for him.

Also what is the best way to handle a cancer man. I am a Libra myself. This hot and cold thing isnt really my thing. I am straight forward and it really pissed me off when he acts up.
Posted by AgentP911
Posted by Meg123
Posted by misha77
Hi Meg..i am a scorpio girl and i was married to a scorpio for like 10 years, we divorced 5 years ago and remain friends from far..for the sake of our kid and respect we gain for us.
Please always keep in mind to be direct and straight with your needs/believes. He will appreciate it as we dont like weak people.
You feel to go meet him? just do it! and be yourself! He will tell you what he wants.not by text but in person..believe me. Just keep strong and be you..always be you. If you have questions, just ask him direct ..in person..look in his eyes, they never lie.


Thanks Misha, I really appreciate your advice.

Although i had told him at the very start i was looking for a relationship. He too said that he wasn't looking for anything casual and would see where it leads to. Later on he said he isnt looking at anything serious for sure. I told him that i had made myself very clear from the start. I see no point in meeting him anymore. Plus like you said what kind of a relation would it be if there wasn't any respect for each other.



Meg,

I’m joining this thread late but I read it all and I agree with your view point. I think you have your attitude spot on with this.

1. You have never met this man.

2. You stated your intentions up front which were that you were on looking for someone with a view to a serious relationship. That means you’re not looking for anything casual.

3. He stated the same as you do at that time it was a match. You both continued to communicate with each other with a view to meeting on a date.

4. He asked you out but bailed with short notice. Ok, butter happens, so a second date was arranged.

5. He bailed on the second date and you quite rightly told him you’re not going to accept his crap behaviour. Your only alternative would have been to forget him, block him, move on etc. Either way, it no longer matters.

6. At some point, he stated he wasn’t looking for anything too serious. I don’t know when this was in the time line but frankly, his behaviour of arranging then flaming on both dates SHOWS you what he’s looking for. At this point, it was HIS intentions which had changed. Not yours. Therefore it was no longer a match. He probably wasn’t looking for anything serious in the first place. Most people when dating aren’t clear or honest with what they’re looking for.

7. This guy is at luke warm stage. He’s not likely to be taking dating seriously or his life is a bit messed up that he is unable to keep to arrangements. Both points do not suit what you are looking for. You are not a match regardless of how much time you both spent texting each other or how amazing he is on paper. It hasn’t been able to reach the date stage which is the next logical step. Why? Because he’s not serious.

8. You CLEARLY stated your terms and intentions to him. You stood your ground and showed him you’re not interested in him or his behaviour. There is nothing wrong with this.

9. He is ‘chasing’ you now because he either wants to get you to change your mind (because you gave him some rules/boundaries), he likes to chase, doesn’t actually want you kind of scenario (nothing personal about you, some people are just like that) or because he is genuinely interested and has decided he’d like to date you with a view to having a serious, committed relationship either with you or someone out there. I don’t know what would have changed in his world for him to change his intentions. Possibly nothing because they haven’t changed at all.

10. As you have stated, you are no longer interested in this guy. I’d forget him, delete him, block him etc, and multi date others so you always have options. There are PLENTY of other people available who WILL date you and who WANT to date you. My advice, if you manage to build a rapport with a guy over a few days via text/email/calls AND they seem to match what you want AND they have asked you out then I’d go out sooner than later. This weeds out the butter and means you won’t invest one month of your time on a luke warm prospect. The result means you’ll have one month of your time to invest in red hot prospects instead. Red hot ones will more likely bring you a suitable match.

As for why he’s acting this way, hopefully the above will offer some insight.

click to expand


Thank you so much dear for taking the time to write it down for me. I truly appreciate it.

You have read a few of the msgs above and to be honest i find yours very helpful and straightforward.

I have def moved on and not looking to meet up this guy, he msg quite a lot, but i have told him i am no longer interested. I think your right he just likes the chase. Although its quite annoying as to how ppl are willing to waste both their time and mine.

thanks you once again.

take care and have a good day
Posted by misha77
Hi Meg..i am a scorpio girl and i was married to a scorpio for like 10 years, we divorced 5 years ago and remain friends from far..for the sake of our kid and respect we gain for us.
Please always keep in mind to be direct and straight with your needs/believes. He will appreciate it as we dont like weak people.
You feel to go meet him? just do it! and be yourself! He will tell you what he wants.not by text but in person..believe me. Just keep strong and be you..always be you. If you have questions, just ask him direct ..in person..look in his eyes, they never lie.


Thanks Misha, I really appreciate your advice.

Although i had told him at the very start i was looking for a relationship. He too said that he wasn't looking for anything casual and would see where it leads to. Later on he said he isnt looking at anything serious for sure. I told him that i had made myself very clear from the start. I see no point in meeting him anymore. Plus like you said what kind of a relation would it be if there wasn't any respect for each other.
Hey Guys ,.....need your help understanding Scorpios.,....so after we discussed my earlier post i put him completely out of my mind ..deleted his number and moved on. A few days ago he messaged and i told him that i am no longer interested cause i was put off by his behaviour, since then he has been pursuing me every day. He messages and has asked me out many times over. I wished him on his bday and he seemed very pleased about it. I am still not interested but i am def intrigued by this behaviour. Please help me understand what is he after ?
Thank you everyone for the comments, i truly appreciate the responses.

To be honest ..now that i re -reading the comments and am replying to this post i am no longer interested in the guy. But i am genuinely intrigued and want to know if i was anyways wrong in voicing my opinion ???

We both made plans, i am a single mother i had to make arrangement for my kid to be looked after while i was out. Not once but twice. he wanted to make changes to the plan a few hours before the date. That is also another reason for me being annoyed. Why are people insensitive to other peoples situations ?

I even had a reply above saying - If that were me, I’d say screw you - WHY ? i dint say anything rude or insulting. I only mentioned that i dont appreciate it and as much as i respect his time i expect the same in return.

Thanks for reading and looking forward to your insight on this

Meg
Posted by pinkbird03
I think it’s over. I think you screwed up the most when you told him his attitude annoyed you. If that were me, I’d say screw you


If that were me, I’d say screw you -
Why would you say so dear. Forget this guy in question. its a relationship people are looking at creating be it friendship or more and dont u think that both ppl involved deserve respect.

i respect other ppls emotions, time and i expect the same in return. Was it so bad to voice it out. Why cant a Scorpio understand that. They surely have high self respect why shouldn't the other
Posted by EvatheDiva
Posted by Meg123
I am a Librian and met this Scorpio guy on an online dating site. We have chatted for over a month now and then finally we decided to meet up. I would not initiate a conversation. He was the one who would text each day and then we would chat up. If he was busy during the day he would msg before he went to bed.

We chatted over the phone and text for weeks now. He made plans for us to catch up twice. First time around he cancelled the date in the morning itself saying he has a and hangover and doesn't feel like meeting up . The second time we were to meet for lunch but in the morning he wanted me make changes to the plan that pissed me off. I said lets meet another day to which he agreed. As he showed little respect for my time i said let not meet at all. I was very annoyed.

After awhile i got settled down and texted him told him that his attitude annoyed me and i dont like my time to be disrespected. he apologised. but since then he has been distant.

He hasn't messaged me. When i initiated contact he wasn't as responsive. I really do like this guy. i think we had something special. Now i am not sure of i should keep my distance with him and let him cool down or start a conversation or ask him upfront if he is still interested Any suggestion are welcomed


Girl, the old saying is, "One shame on you, second time shame on me" Do you want a third time's a charm? I'd be EMBARRASSED and/or pissed if a guy did this to me. When I made an on-line date, we were to meet at a Sports bar; but fist, he was to come pick me up at my home (I live across the street from the police station He never showed up! I texted him, "It's almost 12:00; when the Cowboys start. Are you coming?" He never responded and I saw he was on line!! Jerk! I blocked him on my phone AND POF!

cyber hugs!

Love,

Eva

PS: I drove like a bat outta hell to buy lunch AND a six pack of Lone Star light; mind you, here in town we have to wait until 12:00 to buy alcohol. I was PISSED #2
click to expand



you see i am a Libran and being one i weigh it on both scales. like to give ppl a second chance as i think there could have been a genuine reason.

I have written this to a reply to another post.

I didnt ask him for a redo but i did mention that i dont act pricey and haven't been rude or anything to him. As much as i respect his time i want mine to be respected as well, and i do believe in it. I like this guy but i like my self respect more. If he cant show any respect now i don expect it to change later on. He said he apologies for it and he truly means its.

i let a day pass and then asked him if he was still upset over the argument and would he not like to keep in touch to which he replied that he has been busy at work. I replied with and ok and since then havent been in touch.

now i wont make another move and wait and see if he is genuinely interested or not
Posted by Neno2
Wrong move


Why ? i respect his time and i expect the same in return.
Posted by Ellygant
Best shot is to send one final message saying you want a redo and feel like it got off on the wrong foot. That would take swallowing some pride tho and being secure in letting it go.

Honestly it just sounds like you two don't vibe since it's only the beginning and it's already this confusing. Drop him and allow something easier with someone who is excited to make plans with you.


I didnt ask him for a redo but i did mention that i dont act pricey and haven't been rude or anything to him. As much as i respect his time i want mine to be respected as well, and i do believe in it. I like this guy but i like my self respect more. If he cant show any respect now i don expect it to change later on. He said he apologies for it and he truly means its.

i let a day pass and then asked him if he was still upset over the argument and would he not like to keep in touch to which he replied that he has been busy at work. I replied with and ok and since then havent been in touch.
I am a Librian and met this Scorpio guy on an online dating site. We have chatted for over a month now and then finally we decided to meet up. I would not initiate a conversation. He was the one who would text each day and then we would chat up. If he was busy during the day he would msg before he went to bed.

We chatted over the phone and text for weeks now. He made plans for us to catch up twice. First time around he cancelled the date in the morning itself saying he has a and hangover and doesn't feel like meeting up . The second time we were to meet for lunch but in the morning he wanted me make changes to the plan that pissed me off. I said lets meet another day to which he agreed. As he showed little respect for my time i said let not meet at all. I was very annoyed.

After awhile i got settled down and texted him told him that his attitude annoyed me and i dont like my time to be disrespected. he apologised. but since then he has been distant.

He hasn't messaged me. When i initiated contact he wasn't as responsive. I really do like this guy. i think we had something special. Now i am not sure of i should keep my distance with him and let him cool down or start a conversation or ask him upfront if he is still interested Any suggestion are welcomed


Oh yes definitely!! Just sounded like you were obsessing which is understandable with these guys! Lol


i know what you mean dear .... being a libra i am programmed to be so + i hate guessing
Posted by Librajean
Posted by Capri-sun
I'm not saying fully invest your heart. all I'm saying is that if you like him be yourself & see where things go. give it a chance if he isn't giving you what you want or need then cut him loose


Exactly be patient, meditate, exercise, work. Give it a chance...don't worry about it to much. Stay in control, cool calm and collected.

click to expand


I have a very demanding job and keep busy at work until late. I have a good friend circle and social life. I dont hang around for him to be around. I carry on with my life as usual.

But i do like to catch up over the weekend or for a drink once in awhile. It makes it less stressful knowing the person is there
I cant comment about anyone else but for this was the first time i met someone and was drawn to him with so much intensity. I was in a long term relationship that ended in 2015. So after a year i felt a connect with someone and wanted to see where it went.

No he is not my boyfriend. I would like to get to know him better. When he was away we chatted, but he was quite guarded when it came to anything personal.

I stopped asking cause i wanted him to want to tell me about him, rather than me asking and him feeling awkward.
Posted by Capri-sun
Posted by Meg123
Noted.

Are all Caps so much hard work ? Or is this my special case



Lol we're really not hard. Be yourself. Be honest. Be genuine. & it should be smooth sailing whether for the good or bad but at least you don't have to wonder
click to expand




Haha ...thanks ...but to be honest i was myself, honest and genuine before. That is when he seemed uninterested. The moment i let it go, he wants to be back. His own words were "I'm sorry for being difficult."
Noted.

Are all Caps so much hard work ? Or is this my special case

Why didn't you message him after you got home? That is him showing he cares. First sign with my Cap boyfriend of him really caring & first fight was when he got upset that I didn't call and let him know I got home safe. ( he didn't even ask btw, he just assumed I would). It's a thing. I'd say he likes you.


I guess i wanted to act a bit aloof. Generally he acts difficult if he knows i care or i am more interested in meeting up or taking this forward. The moment i pulled away he makes an effort to keep in touch. He messaged me this morning as well. I respond to his good morning with a good morning but dont continue the conversation from my side. I would do that earlier and he would read messages and not reply / reply after ages. Now i try and keep it brief. Try to mimic his actions.

I hate the mind games ppl play. I am very straight forward and i expect the same in return.

Am i wrong in doing so ?

Posted by DannyMC
Posted by Meg123
Thanks Danny .... lets see what he has to say. Although i am not hoping for much from him.


You're welcome Meg
click to expand


what do u think Danny ?

Posted by SugarandSpunk
Go for it & keep us posted! Glad to hear yours came back.


what do u think ?