She knows she's scared of being alone. At the same time she says, that the brief period in her life she was single, was the best in her life.
She is in a relationship now but has never been really happy with him. She is always thinking of ending it. They have been together for years, and she is at the marriage-having kids age.

I always just listen and talk to her, try to see things from a new perspective. Anything else I can do?

Posted by RooSagicorn

Posted by starlord

Posted by RooSagicorn

Posted by starlord

Posted by pisceswoman123

Posted by starlord

Posted by pisceswoman123

Posted by starlord

Posted by pisceswoman123

Posted by starlord

Posted by pisceswoman123

Posted by starlord

Posted by pisceswoman123

Posted by starlord
Read that women reach their sexual peek in their 30ies. What's your experience?

Have still never reached that o with a guy, but that's due to emotional issues, I believe, which also leads me to have sex for the wrong reasons with the wrong guys the wrong way.

But still I am having weird "feelings" or reactions I have never had before with one guy, and it does not make sense, as he is also wrong guy for me. But it's like the lady downstairs has a life of her own. I feel like I finally understand what it means to be thinking with your dick!

Anyone?

Yes. Totally true for me too

Oh thank god!!!!!!
Do you have sex with guys you shouldn't really be having sex with, but the atrraction is just there?

I normally only do relationships so I don’t have too much problems with that 😄

Oh okay. That's kind of my problem here. Like the guy is wrong for me, but he has made some sort of connection to downstairs, and my upstairs is just like wtf?! And then downstairs takes over and gives me weird reactions, and I really really really do not understand why I am having this much of a reaction. Thought I could just be lucky and put the blaim on my age😄
It's a shame, because if he wasn't so wrong for me, maybe he could take me all the way. What can you do.

I see 😄 well enjoy while you can. Good chemistry is priceless 😅

It's actually pissing me off why I am attracted to this guy and not one where therr could actually be a future. Good job mother nature!!!

Lol. Then only have sex with guys that are good for you and you wouldn’t have this problem 😄 But when life gives you lemons make lemonade 😋😉

But there is no attraction there really. So far... Hoping and working on constantly feeling better about myself and make better decisions, and I actually rarely have sex. But when it comes to this one guy, another part of me takes over. And then I have to say no, and then he will maybe pursuade me, and secretly I want him to. And he knows that.
Like he and lady downstairs has this whole gameplan. And I don't know what it is about him. He says things that my old scorpio could havr said too, but my body reacts completely different to the two guys. Must be age!!!!!!!! Can't be anything else.

It sounds like fun. You are overthinking it. Just enjoy it

Well it was fun, but he was a total douche to me yesterday, so now I'm turned off. Probably for good. It's just not as hot when the guy could care less. I think I "get feelings" for guys I have sex with multiples times, because that makes it better for me. But no fun when the guy feels absolutely nothing and is just an empty shell. Nothing's going on on the inside.

That’s why I don’t have sex unless it’s leading somewhere. It feels pretty crappy when a guy is like that afterwards no matter how good the sex was. Not worth it to me. And well I’m way different with sex if it’s someone we who we have a bond. It’s ceazy fun then 😜 ah my cap.venus & mars I’m sure but hey 🤷‍♀️

Just take this as a learning experience & what you need. Not about what they need. 🤗

But I seem to be lacking that element in me that makes guys feel something real for me. So I would never have sex, if I had to go that route.
I have called him out on his behaviour, and he said sorry, but not sure he really gets it, because he just doesn't care. I honestly didn't think anyone could have sex like that and without feeling anything at all, so he got me there. Like at least care as a friend.

It’s just the wrong guys for you! You are still looking at this the wrong way - backwards -from their perspective. This is the problem.

click to expand

What do you mean backwards? 🤔 Just thought I was being realistic. Very few guys have had feelings for me.

Posted by RooSagicorn

Posted by starlord

Posted by pisceswoman123

Posted by starlord

Posted by pisceswoman123

Posted by starlord

Posted by pisceswoman123

Posted by starlord

Posted by pisceswoman123

Posted by starlord

Posted by pisceswoman123

Posted by starlord
Read that women reach their sexual peek in their 30ies. What's your experience?

Have still never reached that o with a guy, but that's due to emotional issues, I believe, which also leads me to have sex for the wrong reasons with the wrong guys the wrong way.

But still I am having weird "feelings" or reactions I have never had before with one guy, and it does not make sense, as he is also wrong guy for me. But it's like the lady downstairs has a life of her own. I feel like I finally understand what it means to be thinking with your dick!

Anyone?

Yes. Totally true for me too

Oh thank god!!!!!!
Do you have sex with guys you shouldn't really be having sex with, but the atrraction is just there?

I normally only do relationships so I don’t have too much problems with that 😄

Oh okay. That's kind of my problem here. Like the guy is wrong for me, but he has made some sort of connection to downstairs, and my upstairs is just like wtf?! And then downstairs takes over and gives me weird reactions, and I really really really do not understand why I am having this much of a reaction. Thought I could just be lucky and put the blaim on my age😄
It's a shame, because if he wasn't so wrong for me, maybe he could take me all the way. What can you do.

I see 😄 well enjoy while you can. Good chemistry is priceless 😅

It's actually pissing me off why I am attracted to this guy and not one where therr could actually be a future. Good job mother nature!!!

Lol. Then only have sex with guys that are good for you and you wouldn’t have this problem 😄 But when life gives you lemons make lemonade 😋😉

But there is no attraction there really. So far... Hoping and working on constantly feeling better about myself and make better decisions, and I actually rarely have sex. But when it comes to this one guy, another part of me takes over. And then I have to say no, and then he will maybe pursuade me, and secretly I want him to. And he knows that.
Like he and lady downstairs has this whole gameplan. And I don't know what it is about him. He says things that my old scorpio could havr said too, but my body reacts completely different to the two guys. Must be age!!!!!!!! Can't be anything else.

It sounds like fun. You are overthinking it. Just enjoy it

Well it was fun, but he was a total douche to me yesterday, so now I'm turned off. Probably for good. It's just not as hot when the guy could care less. I think I "get feelings" for guys I have sex with multiples times, because that makes it better for me. But no fun when the guy feels absolutely nothing and is just an empty shell. Nothing's going on on the inside.

That’s why I don’t have sex unless it’s leading somewhere. It feels pretty crappy when a guy is like that afterwards no matter how good the sex was. Not worth it to me. And well I’m way different with sex if it’s someone we who we have a bond. It’s ceazy fun then 😜 ah my cap.venus & mars I’m sure but hey 🤷‍♀️

Just take this as a learning experience & what you need. Not about what they need. 🤗

click to expand

But I seem to be lacking that element in me that makes guys feel something real for me. So I would never have sex, if I had to go that route.
I have called him out on his behaviour, and he said sorry, but not sure he really gets it, because he just doesn't care. I honestly didn't think anyone could have sex like that and without feeling anything at all, so he got me there. Like at least care as a friend.

Posted by pisceswoman123

Posted by starlord

Posted by pisceswoman123

Posted by starlord

Posted by pisceswoman123

Posted by starlord

Posted by pisceswoman123

Posted by starlord

Posted by pisceswoman123

Posted by starlord
Read that women reach their sexual peek in their 30ies. What's your experience?

Have still never reached that o with a guy, but that's due to emotional issues, I believe, which also leads me to have sex for the wrong reasons with the wrong guys the wrong way.

But still I am having weird "feelings" or reactions I have never had before with one guy, and it does not make sense, as he is also wrong guy for me. But it's like the lady downstairs has a life of her own. I feel like I finally understand what it means to be thinking with your dick!

Anyone?

Yes. Totally true for me too

Oh thank god!!!!!!
Do you have sex with guys you shouldn't really be having sex with, but the atrraction is just there?

I normally only do relationships so I don’t have too much problems with that 😄

Oh okay. That's kind of my problem here. Like the guy is wrong for me, but he has made some sort of connection to downstairs, and my upstairs is just like wtf?! And then downstairs takes over and gives me weird reactions, and I really really really do not understand why I am having this much of a reaction. Thought I could just be lucky and put the blaim on my age😄
It's a shame, because if he wasn't so wrong for me, maybe he could take me all the way. What can you do.

I see 😄 well enjoy while you can. Good chemistry is priceless 😅

It's actually pissing me off why I am attracted to this guy and not one where therr could actually be a future. Good job mother nature!!!

Lol. Then only have sex with guys that are good for you and you wouldn’t have this problem 😄 But when life gives you lemons make lemonade 😋😉

But there is no attraction there really. So far... Hoping and working on constantly feeling better about myself and make better decisions, and I actually rarely have sex. But when it comes to this one guy, another part of me takes over. And then I have to say no, and then he will maybe pursuade me, and secretly I want him to. And he knows that.
Like he and lady downstairs has this whole gameplan. And I don't know what it is about him. He says things that my old scorpio could havr said too, but my body reacts completely different to the two guys. Must be age!!!!!!!! Can't be anything else.

It sounds like fun. You are overthinking it. Just enjoy it

click to expand

Well it was fun, but he was a total douche to me yesterday, so now I'm turned off. Probably for good. It's just not as hot when the guy could care less. I think I "get feelings" for guys I have sex with multiples times, because that makes it better for me. But no fun when the guy feels absolutely nothing and is just an empty shell. Nothing's going on on the inside.

Posted by Sagicorn

Posted by Gemitati

Posted by Sagicorn
What good is sex for if you never have that o with a guy? How can one seriously do that, I could never understand that? I'd be frustrated af if guy doesn't get me there time after time and would write him off. That's wrong guy, bad sex...what good is to it then?

What if it’s a right guy bad sex?

Dump him.

click to expand

I did that. Even though I have not had an orgasm with a guy, I can ofcours still differentiate. Some sex is better than other, and if it's butter, I don't do it again.

Oh god why would you want him to? I used to like mind games, but for real cap guy has put me of them!!! Legit one of the most cobfuaibgconfusing guys I have ever met, even just as a friend. Thought a cap would be on point.

Just be happy you're out of it.

Posted by Sag898
You have never had an orgasm?? Do you ever tell them how to help get you there?

I've had loads!!! Just only by myself.
It's so different being alone and then with a guy, so same things doesn't work. But no 7 have not had enough focus on getting there with a guy and told him what to do. Bad selfesteem.

And sorry to hear about your marriage. But hiprfully it wad for thr best. Just know you have abilities that many women really wish they had 😉

Posted by Jade_Alexander

Posted by starlord

Posted by Jade_Alexander

Posted by starlord

Posted by Jade_Alexander
You need to read ‘Come as You Are’

Understand the complexity of female sexuality

My lidido increased in my 30’s.

I had 0 emotional connection with my husband but still managed to orgasm durning sex.

Cool. Thanks for the tip.
Honestly I don't think it's about the emotional connection. Last two sexual partners have been quite un-emotional types, and that has been the best sex and also the closest to an o.
My friends speal of the intimacy and I don't really get what they mean honestly.
But it's something about being desired fully, chosen, number one - in the bedroom but also especially outside the bedroom. I want to be that someone, that the guy is proud of to call his, and I want him to want me to be his and I want him to respect me and not lie to me just to get me into bed.
From what I gather, I think I'm kind of raw an animalistic with this stuff.

This is covered in the book.

Sex with partners in which your relationship isn’t verybsecure can be VERY appealing emotionally. But not healthy emotionally.

I get it. I had sex 3-5 times a week with my husband. No eye contact, no emotionally connection... just treetrunk buddies. I came, I was sexually satisfied but never emotionally.

Wauw!!!! I'm gonna get that book!!!!!! Looking forward to it!! Thanks so much. So it helped you in your marriage? Or did you move on?

Marriage was over by the time I read it. But it helped me understand why I could have sex with someone I disliked and still climax.

I just like sex. I have a big easy to push button.

Most women are not as simple as I am

click to expand

No they really are not, but I reslly wish i was more like you. I think if I did get the same sexual satisfaction as men from sex, I would probably be very promiscuoes.
But a part of the problem for me having sex with guys, is I am a pleaser and they have been veey pleased due to my efforts, but I have never in return. So sex has felt like something I did for them, as a favour, to get them to like me. Since I turned 30 though I really tried to have sex for me. Only had two sexual partners in thise 2 years though. This last one goes down on me right away and does make an effort so that I enjoy it, so that'd why I was hoping to get to that o with him. But weird feelings now get in my way.

Posted by Jade_Alexander

Posted by starlord

Posted by Jade_Alexander
You need to read ‘Come as You Are’

Understand the complexity of female sexuality

My lidido increased in my 30’s.

I had 0 emotional connection with my husband but still managed to orgasm durning sex.

Cool. Thanks for the tip.
Honestly I don't think it's about the emotional connection. Last two sexual partners have been quite un-emotional types, and that has been the best sex and also the closest to an o.
My friends speal of the intimacy and I don't really get what they mean honestly.
But it's something about being desired fully, chosen, number one - in the bedroom but also especially outside the bedroom. I want to be that someone, that the guy is proud of to call his, and I want him to want me to be his and I want him to respect me and not lie to me just to get me into bed.
From what I gather, I think I'm kind of raw an animalistic with this stuff.

This is covered in the book.

Sex with partners in which your relationship isn’t verybsecure can be VERY appealing emotionally. But not healthy emotionally.

I get it. I had sex 3-5 times a week with my husband. No eye contact, no emotionally connection... just treetrunk buddies. I came, I was sexually satisfied but never emotionally.

click to expand

Wauw!!!! I'm gonna get that book!!!!!! Looking forward to it!! Thanks so much. So it helped you in your marriage? Or did you move on?

Posted by Ariqua

Posted by starlord

Posted by Ariqua

Posted by starlord

Posted by Ariqua
I’ve been lucky and thankful that I’ve been able to reach O during sex always. I’ve always had a high sex drive so I didn’t notice much difference in my 30s.

I have had casual sex-knowing the relationship wouldn’t go anywhere but the sex was good. I don’t really see a problem with it if you’re safe and think you can handle it emotionally.

I can't handle it emotionally. At all. Way too insecure and possesive. And that's why this heavy attraction is doing my head in. I should not and do not want to be so keen on this guy/having sex with him.
First after sex I felt like "okay, thanks, bye, see you next time, don't want you to stay and I don't want to get to know you more" but then a few days later I got all in my feels because he doesn't feel anything for me.

You’ve already had sex with him?

Two times. Got some weird feelings. Said we should not do it again, because I'll get those feelings. We were frinds first. I will just mention the feelings again as a savior, because he doesn't want feelings involved, so he'll back off. I am not strong enough to turn him down.
Phew, I feel relieved now.

Yeah, you really just have to get your own insecurities in check. It has almost nothing to do with him and everything to do with your insecurities. You’re mind treetrunking yourself.

click to expand

I am, but he is too to some degree. He knows how I am and I've already said, we should not hook up again because of it. But then he mentions us hooking up out of the blue. I was just trying to forget that and move on.
So I'll have to use those insecurities to my advantage and let them defend me from going down the road of lustfull sin😄😄😄

Posted by Jade_Alexander
You need to read ‘Come as You Are’

Understand the complexity of female sexuality

My lidido increased in my 30’s.

I had 0 emotional connection with my husband but still managed to orgasm durning sex.

Cool. Thanks for the tip.
Honestly I don't think it's about the emotional connection. Last two sexual partners have been quite un-emotional types, and that has been the best sex and also the closest to an o.
My friends speal of the intimacy and I don't really get what they mean honestly.
But it's something about being desired fully, chosen, number one - in the bedroom but also especially outside the bedroom. I want to be that someone, that the guy is proud of to call his, and I want him to want me to be his and I want him to respect me and not lie to me just to get me into bed.
From what I gather, I think I'm kind of raw an animalistic with this stuff.

Posted by RetiredLegendaryPoster
Women deserve chad

But does chad really deserves women?

Posted by ScorpioTruth

Posted by starlord

Posted by hippiecrite
Dude, wtf are you doing? You’re always on about trying to make better decisions for yourself and trying to find a decent guy, but you’re not gonna do either while dicknotized by some rando you don’t even care about.

Seems either you’re downplaying your care for the guy or you’re wasting your time.

That's why it's so strange to me, that I am so attracted to him!!!! I don't get it. I thought ut was maybe just my age and hormones...

It's pretty obvious I have some care for him, but I don't think of us being in a relationship due to different things. At the same time I'm just super possesive and jealous and want his attention. I'm not sure that qualifies as romantic feelings🤔
And yes I am waisting my time, but no better options. And then I stay single and keep myself happy, but sometimes one word from this dude, and the girl between my legs is ready to take over. Not that she has, but am surprised at the struggle she is giving me about this.

You just need to distance yourself from him and cut all contact. He knows the effect he has on you and it’s all a game to him. He could be standing in your way preventing you from meeting the guy that you ARE meant to be with.

click to expand

We work together, so can't cut ties completely. And we go out together too as a group.
I did cut back a lot, but I guess I really don't want to. Not entirely.
But you are right and it's a very very good point!!! I will keep that in mind. .. although it's not my main squeeze to get into a relationship. I'm hoping I'l just meet someone, we get to know each other as friends, and then we can go on.

Posted by Ariqua

Posted by starlord

Posted by Ariqua
I’ve been lucky and thankful that I’ve been able to reach O during sex always. I’ve always had a high sex drive so I didn’t notice much difference in my 30s.

I have had casual sex-knowing the relationship wouldn’t go anywhere but the sex was good. I don’t really see a problem with it if you’re safe and think you can handle it emotionally.

I can't handle it emotionally. At all. Way too insecure and possesive. And that's why this heavy attraction is doing my head in. I should not and do not want to be so keen on this guy/having sex with him.
First after sex I felt like "okay, thanks, bye, see you next time, don't want you to stay and I don't want to get to know you more" but then a few days later I got all in my feels because he doesn't feel anything for me.

You’ve already had sex with him?

click to expand

Two times. Got some weird feelings. Said we should not do it again, because I'll get those feelings. We were frinds first. I will just mention the feelings again as a savior, because he doesn't want feelings involved, so he'll back off. I am not strong enough to turn him down.
Phew, I feel relieved now.

Posted by ScorpioTruth
You just like the challenge. You’re certainly not the first woman that is strongly attracted to something you can’t have, or something that is no good for you.. we all struggle with temptation it’s not about age, you just have to let homegirl downstairs know that she’s not running the show and think with your head instead. (Unless you want to commit emotional suicide)

Have you had any experince with this?

I think that being mentally dominated is like one of the biggest turn ons for me, so I think I sometimes trick myself by saying no, because I actually want the guy to pursuade me. And the guy knows. So I'll say no, but it's super clear that I don't mean it. Why was I made lik this?! It's hard!
I just need to be super possesive so the guy gets turned off and will not try anything. I think that's my only shot. Selfdestruct in every way.
It's been weeks since the sex with him, and then he mentions it once and it's like a lake. That's treetrunked up!!!! That's not normal. It pisses me off. I'm not usually this candid, but I gotta say this situation is a first for me and I'm kinda lost honestly.

Posted by Sagicorn
What good is sex for if you never have that o with a guy? How can one seriously do that, I could never understand that? I'd be frustrated af if guy doesn't get me there time after time and would write him off. That's wrong guy, bad sex...what good is to it then?

Sex has been many different things for me. When younger I thought it would get me the guy. At least if I had sex with him many times. Thought it meant feelings. Thought pleasing guys would make them like me.
But also there's a lot leading up to sex, that can be just really hot and a lot to enjoy and explore. And it's not like I'm not gonna go out there and at least give it a try! I'll never have an o with a guy if I don't have sex with one you know.

Posted by Ariqua
I’ve been lucky and thankful that I’ve been able to reach O during sex always. I’ve always had a high sex drive so I didn’t notice much difference in my 30s.

I have had casual sex-knowing the relationship wouldn’t go anywhere but the sex was good. I don’t really see a problem with it if you’re safe and think you can handle it emotionally.

I can't handle it emotionally. At all. Way too insecure and possesive. And that's why this heavy attraction is doing my head in. I should not and do not want to be so keen on this guy/having sex with him.
First after sex I felt like "okay, thanks, bye, see you next time, don't want you to stay and I don't want to get to know you more" but then a few days later I got all in my feels because he doesn't feel anything for me.

Posted by hippiecrite
Dude, wtf are you doing? You’re always on about trying to make better decisions for yourself and trying to find a decent guy, but you’re not gonna do either while dicknotized by some rando you don’t even care about.

Seems either you’re downplaying your care for the guy or you’re wasting your time.

That's why it's so strange to me, that I am so attracted to him!!!! I don't get it. I thought ut was maybe just my age and hormones...

It's pretty obvious I have some care for him, but I don't think of us being in a relationship due to different things. At the same time I'm just super possesive and jealous and want his attention. I'm not sure that qualifies as romantic feelings🤔
And yes I am waisting my time, but no better options. And then I stay single and keep myself happy, but sometimes one word from this dude, and the girl between my legs is ready to take over. Not that she has, but am surprised at the struggle she is giving me about this.

Posted by Arielle83

Posted by starlord

Posted by Arielle83
If you can’t make yourself cum, then you shouldn’t expect a guy to be able to.

I can and do it on a regular basis, so it's not that. It's just trust issues and selfesteem issues.

Maybe you should treetrunk someone u don’t know and will never see again and just let go. Use the dick for ur own stimulation

click to expand

I've tried doing that for this exact reason. And I did get close. But not quite there.
And then he wanted to continue seing me, and so we had a littlr thing, and I was close too but also got to know him and got feelings and knew, that he could not be trusted.
That's when I just turned 30. Now I'm 32 and have one of the strongest sexual attractions I've ever felt, l don't know what the treetrunk it is. I would have thought that now, after gping through all I've put myself through, I would be thinking with my brain. Not my vagina!!! She's basically screwing me over. What a bleep!