starlord
joined March 10, 2018
  • Posted by Smidge
    Posted by starlord
    Posted by Smidge
    Posted by starlord
    Posted by Smidge
    Posted by starlord
    Posted by Smidge
    Depends, if it's used in an argument it can be super condescending.







    My sag friend hates it, so naturally I do it all the time.














    Ofcours.













    Why does she hate it? click to expand












    It just irritates her. I don't think it irritated her as much as it does now, she hates it more because I do it despite her telling me not to lool.





    click to expand










    Maybe she feels the same way as me. Does she misinterpret or is weird with social conduct and communication? click to expand








    Yes. click to expand






    Really? Examples/elaborate? click to expand




    She doesn't understand how to be in social situations, she's often quite abrasive, rude and invasive. Can't relax, doesn't understand politeness or compliments.



    She calls herself autistic lol



    But she had quite a sheltered and abusive childhood. click to expand
    click to expand


    Cam relate a little. I know how to fake it most of the time though. And with me it's bound to trust issues.
    What makes you want to be friends with her?
  • Posted by Smidge
    Posted by starlord
    Posted by Smidge
    Posted by starlord
    Posted by Smidge
    Depends, if it's used in an argument it can be super condescending.





    My sag friend hates it, so naturally I do it all the time.










    Ofcours.









    Why does she hate it? click to expand








    It just irritates her. I don't think it irritated her as much as it does now, she hates it more because I do it despite her telling me not to lool.



    click to expand






    Maybe she feels the same way as me. Does she misinterpret or is weird with social conduct and communication? click to expand




    Yes. click to expand
    click to expand


    Really? Examples/elaborate?
  • Posted by Smidge
    Posted by starlord
    Posted by Smidge
    Depends, if it's used in an argument it can be super condescending.



    My sag friend hates it, so naturally I do it all the time.






    Ofcours.





    Why does she hate it? click to expand




    It just irritates her. I don't think it irritated her as much as it does now, she hates it more because I do it despite her telling me not to lool.

    click to expand
    click to expand


    Maybe she feels the same way as me. Does she misinterpret or is weird with social conduct and communication?
  • Posted by ufo
    Posted by starlord
    Posted by ufo
    i think it's great for forming a bond or to make someone like you more for the sole reason that by using their name you make them feel important which can be used to manipulate as well







    so although it can indicate bond/interest it can also be tied to ulterior motive







    i prefer a specific pet name that has meaning or inside joke behind it













    I don't take the use of my name as such though. Specially if it is someone, I am interested in. Take it as keeping it formel. I must not be that easy to manipulere then, since I don't get manipulated the mainstream way.





    But what about using it in writing? Build bond too? click to expand




    in text or hand written letters?



    tbh this guy i was texting for a whole year used my first name all the time and i was swooned but in the end all he wanted was sex click to expand
    click to expand


    😃😃 I would take him using my name so differently!!! Am very surprised that I am seemingly alone on this. And wonder if I read cues and signals totally different than other people now.

    In texting using the name especially. Like "I don't know name, it's just..." Feels like distance.
  • Posted by LadyNeptune
    He said he will never be in a romantic relationship with you. Seems cut and dry to me.





    Cuddling and eating are pretty standard things to do after treetrunking. Just cause he holds you and feeds you doesn’t mean he has deeper feelings.





    Posted by girl123456
    Then I accidentally learned that he has other women, with whom he was sexually involved. He said to me, that their relationship is not serous, it’s just a sex.




    Before you spread your legs for him again just be aware that’s 👆👆 how’s he’s gonna describe you to his future gf/wife. click to expand
    click to expand


    Oftentimes it's easier for guys to be nice like that with someone they do not have feelings for. It doesn't mean anything to them, there is no emotional risc and it's just easy, fun and something to not put any thought behind.
    He wants and gets comfort from you, no emotional challenge and uncomfortable feelings he does not know how to deal with. And it is the same, nothing more, you can get from him.
  • Posted by Smidge
    Depends, if it's used in an argument it can be super condescending.

    My sag friend hates it, so naturally I do it all the time.


    Ofcours.

    Why does she hate it?
  • Posted by ufo
    i think it's great for forming a bond or to make someone like you more for the sole reason that by using their name you make them feel important which can be used to manipulate as well



    so although it can indicate bond/interest it can also be tied to ulterior motive



    i prefer a specific pet name that has meaning or inside joke behind it





    I don't take the use of my name as such though. Specially if it is someone, I am interested in. Take it as keeping it formel. I must not be that easy to manipulere then, since I don't get manipulated the mainstream way.

    But what about using it in writing? Build bond too?
  • Interesting. I am super detached with my name it seems.
    When people use it directly to me, I feel like it's creating distance, keeps things prodessional/formal and sometimes like the other person is trying to correct me/teach me.

    Funny.
  • Online articles say: use of someones name often is inclination of liking or creating a bond with that person.

    Do you agree with this?
    Find it´s the opposite: if it´s a guy I like and he use my name, he is telling me to back off and keep it friendly. The use of my name is creating distance and not bonding. Alone on this?
  • Posted by Lala1393
    Posted by starlord
    Posted by LadyNeptune
    Posted by Lala1393
    I don't know if that's it. I thought it was but....he dated another African girl a while back and he showed her off to his friends. If I'm not mistaken, I think that's the girl that kissed one of his best friends or Something like that








    So your being punished for the sins of the cookiemonster who came before you. Not fair.







    If he can't trust you after 2 years, he can't *truly* love you. Also he needs better friends. click to expand






    This is just what she thinks and how she rationalize it to herself. But she needs to speak with him directly. click to expand




    I don't see the need in talking about it again. I'm very much over it. I think he likes me but hes just using me. Maybe he did all this cute stuff and lovey dovey ish just to keep me around without complaining too much.

    I'm not bothered enough to talk about it AGAIN and have him not change. He went from being the biggest a.ss-h.ole and me having to give him an ultimatum then leaving for 6 months. When i got back from abroad he was waiting for me. He was all changed and sweet. But ok. That's one step, but each little step forward was like a ministep. I don't want to be wasting my golden years waiting around for a guy who isn't too sure about me. No thanks.



    Boy bye.

    He's been texting all these sweet things calling me his love and butter. Trying to call me. Telling me I should tell him all this by voice or face to face. I don't feel guilty about ending it by text. But his reactions being all sweet worded all of a sudden are just making me more sure of my decision to end it. He has been taking the piss.





    It's better I realised that now than later.



    Thank you guys..



    Sorry it took so long for me to wake the f up.





    All I'll miss now is our sex. But i can find that elsewhere.

    click to expand
    click to expand


    Hope everything works out for the best for you. If you already talked about this stuff, I can understand why you now finally take action. Good luck.
  • Posted by LadyNeptune
    Posted by Lala1393
    I don't know if that's it. I thought it was but....he dated another African girl a while back and he showed her off to his friends. If I'm not mistaken, I think that's the girl that kissed one of his best friends or Something like that




    So your being punished for the sins of the cookiemonster who came before you. Not fair.



    If he can't trust you after 2 years, he can't *truly* love you. Also he needs better friends. click to expand
    click to expand


    This is just what she thinks and how she rationalize it to herself. But she needs to speak with him directly.
  • Posted by Lala1393
    Posted by MyStarsShine
    Posted by Lala1393
    Posted by MyStarsShine
    Posted by Lala1393
    Posted by MyStarsShine
    Posted by Lala1393
    Posted by Moonbutter
    Posted by Lala1393
    Posted by Moonbutter
    I dunno that’s odd... maybe he has intimacy/commitment issues? How often do u see eachother? Go on dates?


    Erm we see each other like twice a week and i stay over for like 2-3 days in general. So 4 days a week. We don't go out much still.


    How does he look at you? Does he ask questions to know you better? Do u guys take photos together? Have you met his friends and family? Why don’t you guys go out much?


    He doesn't really have to ask because I tell him. I have to be careful to tell him ALL the truth because his brain is like a machine. He remembers every single thing I say down to the smallest detail. So of anything sounds fishy, he'll mention it.


    How does he look at me ?
    Like I'm the sweetest most precious thing in the world but as if he's always just ABOUT to say It but doesn't. Like right on the verge. But all the time.

    No friends. Just his mum. By accident. Non planned.

    He's ALWAYS filming me.
    It was annoying and weird before but now I'm used to it.


    Always but we rarely take pics together. Don't even think to. He's always filming anyway.


    Oh Lala....still didn't introduce you to any of his friends and family after two years?

    Why do you think he is hiding you ?


    Maybe because I'm black.
    I dunno...
    That might be it.


    Oh love 💙

    Is he a white guy?



    Yeah. He is.


    So he is embarrassed to show you off to his friends and fam because of your skin colour? Do you think think that is love Lala? 😞



    I don't know if that's it. I thought it was but....he dated another African girl a while back and he showed her off to his friends. If I'm not mistaken, I think that's the girl that kissed one of his best friends or Something like that
    click to expand


    Here you are explaining to yourself and us, why he does not introduce you to friends and family. But if he has not said it directly to you, you don't know. It bothers you, so you need to approach it and face the fear instead of making excuses for him.
  • Posted by StrawberryJam
    Posted by starlord
    Posted by StrawberryJam
    Posted by starlord
    Posted by WittyGem88
    Posted by starlord
    Posted by WittyGem88
    Posted by starlord
    Don't you find it weird and suspucious, that the guy so quickly talked about your future? He doesn't know you.
    Says more about you, that you believe it. No disrespect. I once believed in sweet talk too.


    Hmmm. This is very tricky. I wouldnt believe immediately myself. I need proof. But you know my experience with my bf is the same. One week of talking and he told me he will fly to see me. I was like— yeah right. Sure. After a month he flew to me. We had our first date. In a committed rs on the 3rd day of his trip. After a month I flew to him and stayed with him for a month. In between those months that we havent seen each other he has mentioned me being the one for him. Him wanting marriage with me etc. hes a gemini moon. I am still with him til now. And people will think we are going fast but its the air sign pace 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

    I think what she needs is for him to prove his intentions.


    That's a very nice story. And I think you are spot on in saying what she needs. She knows this as well. Did your boyfriend also ask about your housing situation and if you own a house? I'm thinking she mentioned that, because she also is feeling something shady but don't want to believe it.
    Seems like he kept trying to make something happen very quickly, but she were wise and said not so fast, so he is getting out of the situation, probably so he can try this on another woman. He is working.


    Actually my boyfriend did ask me about that. And i asked him back. Thing is I live in Asia and you know, many Asians tend to date white men for money. He is Australian. So i felt that he was making sure i was not gonna live off him like other asian women. Few weeks ago, we exchanged excel sheets with our financial situation in it so I know exactly how much debt he is in and he knows how much money I saved.

    Its case to case basis but i do think that if she feels she cannot trust, she should go with her intuition. I didnt have a bad feeling about mine and until now, we never ask either for money nor do we require each other to buy presents etc. but then i do know some who took advantage of other people. Sad sad reality.


    Makes sense why he asked you. So She should find the login reason as to why he ask her about this stuff. Many african men for example cheat european and american women, just like you say asian women cheat white men. Not all goes without saying, but still.
    But think she has made up her mind now based on her feelings, and so that is it.


    I think you have made up your mind about how I feel etc, because my respond was not what you were expecting? anway that's the reason he asked about my property situation since whittygem also asked about it.

    Later on we talked about it, he was just thinking how much I have to give up to move to his country.


    Actually your answer was pretty much what I expected😊
    I'm out.


    LOL didn't you say you weren't gonna comment awhile ago? yet you were here comment after comment
    click to expand


    I will respond to other posters that directly speaks to me. For sure. "Comment after comment" is just a little bit of an exaggeration, don't you think? I don't know you and trying to unload or get a rise out of some internet stranger is not my style . I'm sorry you will have to find somebody else for that.
  • Posted by StrawberryJam
    Posted by starlord
    Posted by WittyGem88
    Posted by starlord
    Posted by WittyGem88
    Posted by starlord
    Don't you find it weird and suspucious, that the guy so quickly talked about your future? He doesn't know you.
    Says more about you, that you believe it. No disrespect. I once believed in sweet talk too.


    Hmmm. This is very tricky. I wouldnt believe immediately myself. I need proof. But you know my experience with my bf is the same. One week of talking and he told me he will fly to see me. I was like— yeah right. Sure. After a month he flew to me. We had our first date. In a committed rs on the 3rd day of his trip. After a month I flew to him and stayed with him for a month. In between those months that we havent seen each other he has mentioned me being the one for him. Him wanting marriage with me etc. hes a gemini moon. I am still with him til now. And people will think we are going fast but its the air sign pace 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

    I think what she needs is for him to prove his intentions.


    That's a very nice story. And I think you are spot on in saying what she needs. She knows this as well. Did your boyfriend also ask about your housing situation and if you own a house? I'm thinking she mentioned that, because she also is feeling something shady but don't want to believe it.
    Seems like he kept trying to make something happen very quickly, but she were wise and said not so fast, so he is getting out of the situation, probably so he can try this on another woman. He is working.


    Actually my boyfriend did ask me about that. And i asked him back. Thing is I live in Asia and you know, many Asians tend to date white men for money. He is Australian. So i felt that he was making sure i was not gonna live off him like other asian women. Few weeks ago, we exchanged excel sheets with our financial situation in it so I know exactly how much debt he is in and he knows how much money I saved.

    Its case to case basis but i do think that if she feels she cannot trust, she should go with her intuition. I didnt have a bad feeling about mine and until now, we never ask either for money nor do we require each other to buy presents etc. but then i do know some who took advantage of other people. Sad sad reality.


    Makes sense why he asked you. So She should find the login reason as to why he ask her about this stuff. Many african men for example cheat european and american women, just like you say asian women cheat white men. Not all goes without saying, but still.
    But think she has made up her mind now based on her feelings, and so that is it.


    I think you have made up your mind about how I feel etc, because my respond was not what you were expecting? anway that's the reason he asked about my property situation since whittygem also asked about it.

    Later on we talked about it, he was just thinking how much I have to give up to move to his country.
    click to expand


    Actually your answer was pretty much what I expected😊
    I'm out.
  • Posted by WittyGem88
    Posted by starlord
    Posted by WittyGem88
    Posted by starlord
    Don't you find it weird and suspucious, that the guy so quickly talked about your future? He doesn't know you.
    Says more about you, that you believe it. No disrespect. I once believed in sweet talk too.


    Hmmm. This is very tricky. I wouldnt believe immediately myself. I need proof. But you know my experience with my bf is the same. One week of talking and he told me he will fly to see me. I was like— yeah right. Sure. After a month he flew to me. We had our first date. In a committed rs on the 3rd day of his trip. After a month I flew to him and stayed with him for a month. In between those months that we havent seen each other he has mentioned me being the one for him. Him wanting marriage with me etc. hes a gemini moon. I am still with him til now. And people will think we are going fast but its the air sign pace 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

    I think what she needs is for him to prove his intentions.


    That's a very nice story. And I think you are spot on in saying what she needs. She knows this as well. Did your boyfriend also ask about your housing situation and if you own a house? I'm thinking she mentioned that, because she also is feeling something shady but don't want to believe it.
    Seems like he kept trying to make something happen very quickly, but she were wise and said not so fast, so he is getting out of the situation, probably so he can try this on another woman. He is working.


    Actually my boyfriend did ask me about that. And i asked him back. Thing is I live in Asia and you know, many Asians tend to date white men for money. He is Australian. So i felt that he was making sure i was not gonna live off him like other asian women. Few weeks ago, we exchanged excel sheets with our financial situation in it so I know exactly how much debt he is in and he knows how much money I saved.

    Its case to case basis but i do think that if she feels she cannot trust, she should go with her intuition. I didnt have a bad feeling about mine and until now, we never ask either for money nor do we require each other to buy presents etc. but then i do know some who took advantage of other people. Sad sad reality.
    click to expand


    Makes sense why he asked you. So She should find the login reason as to why he ask her about this stuff. Many african men for example cheat european and american women, just like you say asian women cheat white men. Not all goes without saying, but still.
    But think she has made up her mind now based on her feelings, and so that is it.
  • Ok. You have made up your mind on what you want to believe, so go with that. Won't comment any further.
  • Posted by CaptainCap
    Posted by starlord
    Posted by CaptainCap
    So much confusion over Sagittarius women.


    Great thing about sagittarius is you just ask them, and your confusion will stop.


    Yea but the bad communication is what leads to more confusion
    click to expand


    What I read in your topic was: you made it clear from the beginning, that it was only physicle from your side. And then suddenly it wasn't and you got upset. Did she know this?
  • Posted by CaptainCap
    So much confusion over Sagittarius women.


    Great thing about sagittarius is you just ask them, and your confusion will stop.
  • Posted by StrawberryJam
    I've only just noticed he unliked the pics he liked this morning... I thought this had happened before but I didn't pay much attention.. WTF!? Is this him acting out for attention?


    It's not for attention. He is getting out of the situation.
  • Posted by WittyGem88
    Posted by starlord
    Don't you find it weird and suspucious, that the guy so quickly talked about your future? He doesn't know you.
    Says more about you, that you believe it. No disrespect. I once believed in sweet talk too.


    Hmmm. This is very tricky. I wouldnt believe immediately myself. I need proof. But you know my experience with my bf is the same. One week of talking and he told me he will fly to see me. I was like— yeah right. Sure. After a month he flew to me. We had our first date. In a committed rs on the 3rd day of his trip. After a month I flew to him and stayed with him for a month. In between those months that we havent seen each other he has mentioned me being the one for him. Him wanting marriage with me etc. hes a gemini moon. I am still with him til now. And people will think we are going fast but its the air sign pace 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

    I think what she needs is for him to prove his intentions.
    click to expand


    That's a very nice story. And I think you are spot on in saying what she needs. She knows this as well. Did your boyfriend also ask about your housing situation and if you own a house? I'm thinking she mentioned that, because she also is feeling something shady but don't want to believe it.
    Seems like he kept trying to make something happen very quickly, but she were wise and said not so fast, so he is getting out of the situation, probably so he can try this on another woman. He is working.