starlord joined March 10, 2018
- That you just can't trust a specific person.
Are you then mostly often rigt?
I got this creeping feeling about one person in particular. I don't really know why. Or I guess I actually do. Seing someone have disrespect for some and flip the script and go back and fourth... It makes me think, when is this gonna hit me?
Have you ever had this? Just this feeling, this hunch? And if you did then what happened? Posted by TurnOn
Posted by starlord
Posted by TurnOn
Posted by starlord
Posted by TurnOn
Posted by starlord
Posted by tiziani
Posted by starlord
Posted by MissKrabs
cause the only reason ppl add each other on social media is for treetrunking. lmao
I have personally treetrunked each and everyone I am connected to on social media, who are not family Members.
No but still, it shows that she needs attention, unless there is a more valid reason for adding each other. Mostly the whole social media thing it's just about attention. I mean I accepted way more friend requests and followers when I needed attention. And was very aware, that that is why I was doing it. And I guess that's why it "worked". Ironically I endes up only treetrunking the only one who did not follow or add me 😂 But ofcours that solved the whole issue of delete or keep when the sex stops. 🤷🏼♀️
It was a dick move on her part. While out on a date with a fairly new partner. Disrespectful. If he asked her why or later asked to see their interaction if there is one, attention and kind of shady reason would almost 100 be the reason.
what makes wanting attention a shady reason?
Doing it on a date isn't the best timing but if that's legit how she feels then that's that.
No shade in wanting and needing attention. But you shouldn't have a need for that while being on a date and while being in a new relationship. Maybe she is trying to start a conversation about it. But it's disrespectful in this context. Imo.
The other guys approached her in presence of her bf. She never approached anybody. She was minding her own business. As a decent human being she entertained the guys along with her bf. Which only means that she trusted her bf enough to not worry about them... But by worrying about then the bf proved otherwise.
She added when the boy friend was gone. Who knows if she would have done it i front of him.
Anyways it's disrespectful to me, if there is no valid reason to add him. If the two guys approached the couple together, they should add both people. He should have just asled her then and there, why they added each other, or she should have said 'oh this guy knows my brother/wants advice on/has info on a jobopening/is in the business of/blah blah blah' something else that is valid. That's how it should be for me. On the positive side she told him right away, that she added the guy. It's weird the guy making this topic didn't ask why or that the girl sinply just didn't tell on her own. That's just me.
What bothers me is that .... If she purposefully added the guy in absence of her bf that means her bf did not give her enough security or trust to add the guy in front of him. Because adding someone OF OPPOSITE SEX in your contact list is pretty NORMAL AND ACCEPTABLE.
It is. But not often somebody you just met, while on a date, while your date is in the bathroom.
That's why I don't understand why either she didn't træl him why they added each other or he asked her why she did it. I can't imaginær myself doing that, unless I felt like I needed attention and didn't get it from the guy I was dating and was trying to make him jealous/react, OR if I did it I would also say why me and some stranger added each other while I was on a date. Like "oh he knows my sister and" blah blah some pretty normal reason.
I totally understand your logic and agree with it. You are not wrong at all.
My whole point of being active on this thread was to tell my fellow bros on how to be more attractive and maintain sexual tension at all times with your girl. It works.click to expand
Hmm okay 😂
People should be themselves first of all. Love themselves and not try to be who anyone else think they should be to get this or that.Posted by TurnOn
Posted by starlord
Posted by TurnOn
Posted by starlord
Posted by tiziani
Posted by starlord
Posted by MissKrabs
cause the only reason ppl add each other on social media is for treetrunking. lmao
I have personally treetrunked each and everyone I am connected to on social media, who are not family Members.
No but still, it shows that she needs attention, unless there is a more valid reason for adding each other. Mostly the whole social media thing it's just about attention. I mean I accepted way more friend requests and followers when I needed attention. And was very aware, that that is why I was doing it. And I guess that's why it "worked". Ironically I endes up only treetrunking the only one who did not follow or add me 😂 But ofcours that solved the whole issue of delete or keep when the sex stops. 🤷🏼♀️
It was a dick move on her part. While out on a date with a fairly new partner. Disrespectful. If he asked her why or later asked to see their interaction if there is one, attention and kind of shady reason would almost 100 be the reason.
what makes wanting attention a shady reason?
Doing it on a date isn't the best timing but if that's legit how she feels then that's that.
No shade in wanting and needing attention. But you shouldn't have a need for that while being on a date and while being in a new relationship. Maybe she is trying to start a conversation about it. But it's disrespectful in this context. Imo.
The other guys approached her in presence of her bf. She never approached anybody. She was minding her own business. As a decent human being she entertained the guys along with her bf. Which only means that she trusted her bf enough to not worry about them... But by worrying about then the bf proved otherwise.
She added when the boy friend was gone. Who knows if she would have done it i front of him.
Anyways it's disrespectful to me, if there is no valid reason to add him. If the two guys approached the couple together, they should add both people. He should have just asled her then and there, why they added each other, or she should have said 'oh this guy knows my brother/wants advice on/has info on a jobopening/is in the business of/blah blah blah' something else that is valid. That's how it should be for me. On the positive side she told him right away, that she added the guy. It's weird the guy making this topic didn't ask why or that the girl sinply just didn't tell on her own. That's just me.
What bothers me is that .... If she purposefully added the guy in absence of her bf that means her bf did not give her enough security or trust to add the guy in front of him. Because adding someone OF OPPOSITE SEX in your contact list is pretty NORMAL AND ACCEPTABLE.click to expand
It is. But not often somebody you just met, while on a date, while your date is in the bathroom.
That's why I don't understand why either she didn't træl him why they added each other or he asked her why she did it. I can't imaginær myself doing that, unless I felt like I needed attention and didn't get it from the guy I was dating and was trying to make him jealous/react, OR if I did it I would also say why me and some stranger added each other while I was on a date. Like "oh he knows my sister and" blah blah some pretty normal reason.Posted by tiziani
Posted by starlord
Posted by TurnOn
Posted by starlord
Posted by tiziani
Posted by starlord
Posted by MissKrabs
cause the only reason ppl add each other on social media is for treetrunking. lmao
I have personally treetrunked each and everyone I am connected to on social media, who are not family Members.
No but still, it shows that she needs attention, unless there is a more valid reason for adding each other. Mostly the whole social media thing it's just about attention. I mean I accepted way more friend requests and followers when I needed attention. And was very aware, that that is why I was doing it. And I guess that's why it "worked". Ironically I endes up only treetrunking the only one who did not follow or add me 😂 But ofcours that solved the whole issue of delete or keep when the sex stops. 🤷🏼♀️
It was a dick move on her part. While out on a date with a fairly new partner. Disrespectful. If he asked her why or later asked to see their interaction if there is one, attention and kind of shady reason would almost 100 be the reason.
what makes wanting attention a shady reason?
Doing it on a date isn't the best timing but if that's legit how she feels then that's that.
No shade in wanting and needing attention. But you shouldn't have a need for that while being on a date and while being in a new relationship. Maybe she is trying to start a conversation about it. But it's disrespectful in this context. Imo.
The other guys approached her in presence of her bf. She never approached anybody. She was minding her own business. As a decent human being she entertained the guys along with her bf. Which only means that she trusted her bf enough to not worry about them... But by worrying about then the bf proved otherwise.
She added when the boy friend was gone. Who knows if she would have done it i front of him.
Anyways it's disrespectful to me, if there is no valid reason to add him. If the two guys approached the couple together, they should add both people. He should have just asled her then and there, why they added each other, or she should have said 'oh this guy knows my brother/wants advice on/has info on a jobopening/is in the business of/blah blah blah' something else that is valid. That's how it should be for me. On the positive side she told him right away, that she added the guy. It's weird the guy making this topic didn't ask why or that the girl sinply just didn't tell on her own. That's just me.
well for me, you said it yourself in your original post.
It could just be that she wants attention from this new guy.
That's as valid a reason as any because that's how she feels.
As long as both can be straight up about it, it's all good.
Break up or not but just be real.click to expand
Yeah, but it doesn't speak good for the relationship, if she needs other attention this early on.
But who knows. Imma stop with making stories up about their butter. Hope he just talks to her about it.Posted by TurnOn
Posted by starlord
Posted by tiziani
Posted by starlord
Posted by MissKrabs
cause the only reason ppl add each other on social media is for treetrunking. lmao
I have personally treetrunked each and everyone I am connected to on social media, who are not family Members.
No but still, it shows that she needs attention, unless there is a more valid reason for adding each other. Mostly the whole social media thing it's just about attention. I mean I accepted way more friend requests and followers when I needed attention. And was very aware, that that is why I was doing it. And I guess that's why it "worked". Ironically I endes up only treetrunking the only one who did not follow or add me 😂 But ofcours that solved the whole issue of delete or keep when the sex stops. 🤷🏼♀️
It was a dick move on her part. While out on a date with a fairly new partner. Disrespectful. If he asked her why or later asked to see their interaction if there is one, attention and kind of shady reason would almost 100 be the reason.
what makes wanting attention a shady reason?
Doing it on a date isn't the best timing but if that's legit how she feels then that's that.
No shade in wanting and needing attention. But you shouldn't have a need for that while being on a date and while being in a new relationship. Maybe she is trying to start a conversation about it. But it's disrespectful in this context. Imo.
The other guys approached her in presence of her bf. She never approached anybody. She was minding her own business. As a decent human being she entertained the guys along with her bf. Which only means that she trusted her bf enough to not worry about them... But by worrying about then the bf proved otherwise.click to expand
She added when the boy friend was gone. Who knows if she would have done it i front of him.
Anyways it's disrespectful to me, if there is no valid reason to add him. If the two guys approached the couple together, they should add both people. He should have just asled her then and there, why they added each other, or she should have said 'oh this guy knows my brother/wants advice on/has info on a jobopening/is in the business of/blah blah blah' something else that is valid. That's how it should be for me. On the positive side she told him right away, that she added the guy. It's weird the guy making this topic didn't ask why or that the girl sinply just didn't tell on her own. That's just me.Posted by tiziani
Posted by starlord
Posted by tiziani
Posted by starlord
Posted by MissKrabs
cause the only reason ppl add each other on social media is for treetrunking. lmao
I have personally treetrunked each and everyone I am connected to on social media, who are not family Members.
No but still, it shows that she needs attention, unless there is a more valid reason for adding each other. Mostly the whole social media thing it's just about attention. I mean I accepted way more friend requests and followers when I needed attention. And was very aware, that that is why I was doing it. And I guess that's why it "worked". Ironically I endes up only treetrunking the only one who did not follow or add me 😂 But ofcours that solved the whole issue of delete or keep when the sex stops. 🤷🏼♀️
It was a dick move on her part. While out on a date with a fairly new partner. Disrespectful. If he asked her why or later asked to see their interaction if there is one, attention and kind of shady reason would almost 100 be the reason.
what makes wanting attention a shady reason?
Doing it on a date isn't the best timing but if that's legit how she feels then that's that.
No shade in wanting and needing attention. But you shouldn't have a need for that while being on a date and while being in a new relationship. Maybe she is trying to start a conversation about it. But it's disrespectful in this context. Imo.
I agree that doing it on a date is insensitive.
But for the rest, that just boils down to personal values. Sorry but I don't see shady reasoning in that.click to expand
I mean shady between him and her. If she doesn’t want to talk about it and why she added the guy, our show their potential interaction, that is shady.Posted by tiziani
Posted by starlord
Posted by MissKrabs
cause the only reason ppl add each other on social media is for treetrunking. lmao
I have personally treetrunked each and everyone I am connected to on social media, who are not family Members.
No but still, it shows that she needs attention, unless there is a more valid reason for adding each other. Mostly the whole social media thing it's just about attention. I mean I accepted way more friend requests and followers when I needed attention. And was very aware, that that is why I was doing it. And I guess that's why it "worked". Ironically I endes up only treetrunking the only one who did not follow or add me 😂 But ofcours that solved the whole issue of delete or keep when the sex stops. 🤷🏼♀️
It was a dick move on her part. While out on a date with a fairly new partner. Disrespectful. If he asked her why or later asked to see their interaction if there is one, attention and kind of shady reason would almost 100 be the reason.
what makes wanting attention a shady reason?
Doing it on a date isn't the best timing but if that's legit how she feels then that's that.click to expand
No shade in wanting and needing attention. But you shouldn't have a need for that while being on a date and while being in a new relationship. Maybe she is trying to start a conversation about it. But it's disrespectful in this context. Imo.Posted by MissKrabs
cause the only reason ppl add each other on social media is for treetrunking. lmao
I have personally treetrunked each and everyone I am connected to on social media, who are not family Members.
No but still, it shows that she needs attention, unless there is a more valid reason for adding each other. Mostly the whole social media thing it's just about attention. I mean I accepted way more friend requests and followers when I needed attention. And was very aware, that that is why I was doing it. And I guess that's why it "worked". Ironically I endes up only treetrunking the only one who did not follow or add me 😂 But ofcours that solved the whole issue of delete or keep when the sex stops. 🤷🏼♀️
It was a dick move on her part. While out on a date with a fairly new partner. Disrespectful. If he asked her why or later asked to see their interaction if there is one, attention and kind of shady reason would almost 100 be the reason.Posted by daisy57
A recent development:
Yesterday I got certified from Harvard after completing a spring course and I posted a picture on Snap chat out of excitement. He knew about it as I used to mention how difficult I find few assignments to do but as we were not smooth in talks, I did not mention that I completed my course.
Him: That's great!!!
Me: Last few quizzes were very difficult though.
Him: I know how bad you are with quizzes anyway (he was being sarcastic and first time in weeks he talked about it to me)
Me: We can play a fair clean game to see how good I could be (I was being sarcastic too)
Him: No you win
Me: Why are you letting me win without even playing? Give me a topic and we shall play daamn
Him: You are determined to win, you will win. Why playing then?
Me: Why are you being a spoilsport here? I am just saying it for fun, I miss our conversations.
He has not responded to me yet on this. Maybe I am too heavy headed and when he senses this, he tries to escape as it could hurt his ego? But I cannot fake dumbness in my knowledge level just to win his time or heart. I like those guys who appreciates good hard work in everyone and he showed me he did appreciate my course completion. But did it make him feel I am more than him? That's not what I want... And he is very very smart in his work.
I know I am being stupid about writing somethings here. We both are 29, young and just trying to the best we can for any given situation.
Honestly.... Just do what you feel you gotta do. Listen to yourself. Nobody really knows anything about other peoples interrelationships. I could tell you one thing, but that will be based off my life and my experiences with a cap guy, but that is all bases on how I am too.
I got to a very happy place finally, and that has been because I have invested the most time in myself and listened to myself first and foremost before anyone else.
No I am not in any way in a relationship with the cap, but I am the most happy I have been with myself in a long time and the importance of even being in any kind of relationship is secondary. Or third. Or fourth. Or so on and so on.Posted by daisy57
You are right starlord. He does not want to talk. I will give him as much space as he wants to, I must have forced him to talk to me (un)knowingly. It's fine, I have too much perseverance which asks me to try repeatedly and I guess that's how I lose people.
You are putting his needs before your own then. If that is not gonna make you bitter or feel bad about yourself, go ahead. But otherwise I would suggest to try and love on from this particular guy, because he is not giving you, what you feel you need and want in your life. So at this point you are settling, and mostly that makes people bitter and unhappy.
Good journey in whatever you do.Posted by daisy57
A part of our yesterday's conversation:
Me: I get a vibe that you do not enjoy talking to me. I never felt that before but now I do. This is not coming from overthinking, I am saying what I feel.
Him: There is nothing like that, between you are looking smoking hot in your picture (it was Snapchat)
Me: I know how you like it hot!
Him: Read a book called Think and grow Rich.
Me: Okay
I felt he is indirectly saying that read that book and be more intellectual and then come back. I am sure it was not attacking but I was so upset that I did not want to carry the conversation hence I said Okay. I wish he had asked me why I feel that way instead of recommending a book to me.
I kind of feel it will be downhill from now on.
Most guys don't want to talk about feelings and how you feel untill they are really committed unless they are *that type of guy to be very verbal and expressive.
He knows you want him to ask about your feelings and talk, but he doesn't want to. Or *feel like it😉Posted by DMV
Zero regrets...
I go after who I want, I'm not scared of rejection
I go after what I want, I'm not scared of losing
I'm not scared of looking dumb or what others think.
I guess woe is me for the person who players me. Reject me, okay. I embarass myself all the time 🤷🏼♀️ But for sure I have done some things I regret. Few, but some. But it's all a regret because I crossed my own moral lines.
This situation is different, and I guess since I can't change the guy and have him realize, that he did me wrong, I regret it happened.
Ironic thing is though, that I now did get an apology, but I kinda forced him. But still I take it. And I think we both or at least I got some things off my chest, and I do feel a lot of relief and do not have so much deep regret about it anymore. It still shouldn't have happened because of all the drama it caused. But at the same time it did get me to a point of saying treetrunk you and mean it and value myself more and more.Posted by MissKrabs
Posted by starlord
Posted by MissKrabs
omg starlord just look at that moon.
What do you mean by this? 😂
to see what is your moon?
click to expand
Oh, I thought you saw, I had already posted what it was and that your comment was in regards to that moon 😂
I have aries moon.Posted by ConfusedAboutTaurus
I haven't acted psycho at all, nor do I think the person would hide anything. It's just odd theirs are the only I can't see.
The issue isn't their likes. The issue would be if they weren't being honest, so I'm asking if there's some sort of way to hide them from a particular person. Judgmental and catty comments aren't helpful. You can keep scrolling if you don't know the answer.
Instagram is super weird.
I thought one person were hidibg their story from me, which made me confused because we were supposed to be friends. But now I don't think so, think it was just the app.
My following account sometimes go up with out gaining New followers (or getting notifications about it). One time I had a notifications that I was following someone, but I had never ever seen the profile before. I only found out, because they instantly followed me. Like somebody hacked my account and went in and followed themselves or something.
There's always a glitch with instagram. Drama app😂- I had a dream, that I had a younger brother. I only have sisters in real life.
I had moved out from where I was living in the dream, and so I didn't get to see my brother that much. When he saw me, in the dream, he ran to me and jumped onto me and gave me a hug and started crying, and I started crying too, because we were happy to see each other and we har missed each other. He was like 7-8 years old.
Suddenly it changed and he was actually really my son.
And we cried and cried while hugging.
It was so weird. And emotional in some way. Posted by _Dazed
..This happened to you?
You pass a guy on the street. He looks to be 10 or so years older than you. You give him a friendly smile as you pass, but he stares at you in passing with a resting, murder face of sorts. He holds the stare for longer than is comfortable, but you simply ignore it and keep moving.
Some time later, you see the same guy in a club you frequent. You say to your friend sitting next to you, "Omg it's that guy I told you about. The one I thought looked like murderer, staring at me while I walked home the other day". The two of you laugh to yourselves, but otherwise ignore him. A few moments pass and you check IG on your phone.
You have a follow request from murder face. You don't accept.
Later, you get ANOTHER follow request from this guy. Not wanting to unintentionally anger him into a murderous rage (obviously he already found out who you are), you accept. The next day, you pass him once again. You give him a short glance just to make sure it's him, and you keep walking.
Over the course of a week or so, this guy "randomly" appears in the same places you frequent.
You start noticing that he "likes" several of your IG posts before ultimately asking if you want to "meet up".
What are your thoughts?
How do you respond?
😂😂😂😂Posted by Timon
Posted by starlord
Posted by Timon
You beat yourself up about something you did in the past. You can't change the past only accept it and realize you made a mistake. We all make them. It's human and that's how we learn. I think you're struggling with accepting you made that mistake. As you said you're pushing it away but the more you push the more you're trying to deny you made that action. You have to embrace it and learn to accept it. As the say the truth will set you free. Accept what you did, learn from it and move on from it.
I know it's hard. Some mistakes we all wish we never made but it is what it is. We can't change the past. The only way is forward.
I feel like I can accept that I made mistakes. But I can't accept how much he gained from my mistake. That he got exactly what he wanted and is just fine and dandy now.
I know this is wrong. I know he is who he is and he can't do anything for me to help all this. I have to be able to provide everything emotional for myself. But it makes me so sick knowing how much he got and took and doesn't appreciate it one bit. He shouldn't have had that from me at all. He was fake, so now a whole chunk of my life was also fake, because I was engaging with him.
I don't know, I have never been in this starte of mind/proces like this before. It's all new to me. I just want to take it all away.
How do you think you can move on from this?Your mind is focusing on replaying the past but unfortunately there's nothing you can do about the past. And you can't control how he feels or his actions but you can take away the control he has over your happiness now. Don't let what he did to you prevent you from being happy today. Break the cycle.click to expand
I am trying. I really am. Realizing through this topic, that it's also because everything is so entangled, all the people I know and see knows and sees him too. It's too much. I will figure it out.Posted by Phantom_Limbo
Posted by starlord
Posted by Phantom_Limbo
Posted by starlord
Posted by Phantom_Limbo
Posted by starlord
Posted by Phantom_Limbo
Posted by starlord
Posted by Phantom_Limbo
You'll probably keep coming back to until you're able to forgive yourself for it. With me, that just takes time.
I have never had other similar situations take this long time when it comes to accepting what I did myself.. Or overall I guess I just never felt the way I do now before.
It's not that the guy is digusting. It's just I should have never been a part of that. He should have never been inside me or gottten close to me the way he did and then be allowed to treat me like me has done. And too much has passed now to have any kind of closure or whatever. I wish he would move to a country far far away from here and I'd never have to hear about him or see him again.
I am diarancing myself from a mutual friend, because I just can't... I just want him gone.
How long has it been now?
You're not tainted. Your life isn't tainted. It seems like you feel like it is, but it isn't.
It's been almost a year now since first time, and halv a year since the last time.
I am one to linger with my feelings, I actually move really really really slow. But this is different feelings than I've ever had before. Probably because the situation was different. But even a guy I knew for 5 years and ran into casually several times over the next couple of years, I didn't feel this way towards the whole situation with him. I can't see an end to the shame.
I don't even register most insults and issues, but I dwell on the big stuff too. It can take years.
Shame is the worst emotion in my opinion, worse than guilt, worse than anger, worse than feeling betrayed. I'm sorry you're feeling it.
I was feeling weird all week. Exhausted basically. Yes there is a New job and my new hobby, but something else was going on I could tell. So now with the weekend I had more time to dive into it. And then even more after making the topic. I think I am really really really in need of an apology and recognition of my feelings as valid. But I also know I am never gonna get that, so I have to really work on how to give it to myself. I thought I had, but it's only been my feelings towards him I have been working on. This stuff is still as strong as ever.
And I realized that our mutual friend.... I find it hard to be around her and she loves the guy and lots of other people thinks he's a great guy too. Because in my mind it makes my feelings and then me invalid, not worthy of respect and basically makes it feel like it doesn't matter what happens to me.
I know rationally that our mutual friend should never pick sides, and I would never ask that. But on an emotional level I feel very different.
Have you figured out the root thing that's eating at you? I can tell that you really struggle with control stuff, like feeling that your friends' opinions of him invalidate your feelings. I understand that feeling, because it's something I struggled with after my first boyfriend cheated on me with my friend. I wanted everyone to hate her, and I didn't want to have to ask them to. After my second boyfriend also cheated, I used to have nightmares where he married a girl in my family, and everyone expected me to just accept it. Anyway, with time having passed, I can see their opinions don't have anything to do with the validity of my feelings, but it's hard to see when you're in it.
I think this is the root. That the guy can't see how disrespectful he has been. You know, treetrunk that he didn't like me romantically. Love is rare. It's the whole lying, pretending ro be my friend and care for me, to then turn around and show true colors and make it out like I am the crazy one for believing his words and actions.
And to almost everyone else (I don't know everybody he knows obviously) he is a lovely, sensitiv guy, because he posts stuff about bad selfesteem and being hurt and struggles. Nobody sees how he himself treat other people.
He owes me an apology.
The mutual friend should do exactly what she wants to. If the guy came and apologized to me because she said something to him, it wouldn't mean butter to me anyway. Then he would just do it to satisfy her.
I feel trapped - in emotions and the situation. The mutual friend tell me to delete the guy and stay away from him, but at the same time sorta force me to meet him physically, because, she was - unbeknownst to me - with him, when I was gonna meet her. And another mutual friend that knows nothing of the situation, so I couldn't turn around or let things show. But I gotta get better to make up excuses to not meet up or leave. Lying has just never been my style .
Do you think your friend is being careless or is she meddling? Maybe you need a break from her.click to expand
No she is not meddling anything. They don't talk about it and/or me. I used to talk to her about it, but she is one who is able to let go of things, whereas I am not (at least not this), so I have stoppes talking to her about it. I do feel a certain preassure from her to be happy go lucky all the time, and I'm just not, so I am beginning to keep my distance. It's no shade to her, but I don't always feel like I can be myself around her. Even if she encourages me to let it out, the respons will be to just let it go and be happy.
She goes a 100 miles an hour. I go half a mile a day.Posted by Phantom_Limbo
Posted by starlord
Posted by Phantom_Limbo
Posted by starlord
Posted by Phantom_Limbo
Posted by starlord
Posted by Phantom_Limbo
You'll probably keep coming back to until you're able to forgive yourself for it. With me, that just takes time.
I have never had other similar situations take this long time when it comes to accepting what I did myself.. Or overall I guess I just never felt the way I do now before.
It's not that the guy is digusting. It's just I should have never been a part of that. He should have never been inside me or gottten close to me the way he did and then be allowed to treat me like me has done. And too much has passed now to have any kind of closure or whatever. I wish he would move to a country far far away from here and I'd never have to hear about him or see him again.
I am diarancing myself from a mutual friend, because I just can't... I just want him gone.
How long has it been now?
You're not tainted. Your life isn't tainted. It seems like you feel like it is, but it isn't.
It's been almost a year now since first time, and halv a year since the last time.
I am one to linger with my feelings, I actually move really really really slow. But this is different feelings than I've ever had before. Probably because the situation was different. But even a guy I knew for 5 years and ran into casually several times over the next couple of years, I didn't feel this way towards the whole situation with him. I can't see an end to the shame.
I don't even register most insults and issues, but I dwell on the big stuff too. It can take years.
Shame is the worst emotion in my opinion, worse than guilt, worse than anger, worse than feeling betrayed. I'm sorry you're feeling it.
I was feeling weird all week. Exhausted basically. Yes there is a New job and my new hobby, but something else was going on I could tell. So now with the weekend I had more time to dive into it. And then even more after making the topic. I think I am really really really in need of an apology and recognition of my feelings as valid. But I also know I am never gonna get that, so I have to really work on how to give it to myself. I thought I had, but it's only been my feelings towards him I have been working on. This stuff is still as strong as ever.
And I realized that our mutual friend.... I find it hard to be around her and she loves the guy and lots of other people thinks he's a great guy too. Because in my mind it makes my feelings and then me invalid, not worthy of respect and basically makes it feel like it doesn't matter what happens to me.
I know rationally that our mutual friend should never pick sides, and I would never ask that. But on an emotional level I feel very different.
Have you figured out the root thing that's eating at you? I can tell that you really struggle with control stuff, like feeling that your friends' opinions of him invalidate your feelings. I understand that feeling, because it's something I struggled with after my first boyfriend cheated on me with my friend. I wanted everyone to hate her, and I didn't want to have to ask them to. After my second boyfriend also cheated, I used to have nightmares where he married a girl in my family, and everyone expected me to just accept it. Anyway, with time having passed, I can see their opinions don't have anything to do with the validity of my feelings, but it's hard to see when you're in it.click to expand
I think this is the root. That the guy can't see how disrespectful he has been. You know, treetrunk that he didn't like me romantically. Love is rare. It's the whole lying, pretending ro be my friend and care for me, to then turn around and show true colors and make it out like I am the crazy one for believing his words and actions.
And to almost everyone else (I don't know everybody he knows obviously) he is a lovely, sensitiv guy, because he posts stuff about bad selfesteem and being hurt and struggles. Nobody sees how he himself treat other people.
He owes me an apology.
The mutual friend should do exactly what she wants to. If the guy came and apologized to me because she said something to him, it wouldn't mean butter to me anyway. Then he would just do it to satisfy her.
I feel trapped - in emotions and the situation. The mutual friend tell me to delete the guy and stay away from him, but at the same time sorta force me to meet him physically, because, she was - unbeknownst to me - with him, when I was gonna meet her. And another mutual friend that knows nothing of the situation, so I couldn't turn around or let things show. But I gotta get better to make up excuses to not meet up or leave. Lying has just never been my style .