aaah the aloofness

Hi there,

I wonder what's going on in the head of "my" Mr. Aquarius.
I talked to him on MSN and he asked about my plans for tonight, but in a "just tell me so I'd know"-kind of way. It's been 2 days since I've seen him (which is normal since we live in different places) and I don't like it if he's like: "hurry hurry, tell me... do you need my entertainment or can I just do whatever I feel like doing?" He told me he was going out for a drink with one of his friends and that if I felt like coming too.. that that would be "up to me". I'm like.. where's the enthousiasm dude? I'm in my exams and Wednesday I took the train to his place (lost 2 hours) and he was so tired of working the whole day (bought a house) that we didn't even have a decent conversation! Which I really understand!! but when I'm available, he's planning an evening with his friend and "if I really insist on coming too".. I have his permission..... Aaarhhh he drives me crazy sometimes!!
And then all of a sudden he's offline, without even saying goodbye!! EVERYBODY SAYS GOODBYE!!!! At least al the others do!!
And right now I feel like going to that damned movie I have been craving to see ever since it got out WITHOUT him and letting HIM take the first step! I'm too freakin nice!!

An annoyed gemini/cancer (...what else?) *

EVERYBODY!!!! seriously.. we are well-behaved people around here! 🙂 but the aqua (and formerly the aries) is being very VERY rude right now!!

He has his 'man time'! I even insist on it!! He has two training days (Tuesday/Thursday) and afterwards he ends up in the bar with his friends. And I don't know what the hell he does on Mondays. And Wednesday I do a little effort... in vain! And so now we're Friday = apparently friends-time AGAIN and well tomorrow I CAN come because he's babysitting his little nephew and hasn't got anything better to do! And well then we're Sunday and pff.... he's a naughty little boy!!!!! THERE!!!!!

Heeeey.. don't get stereotypical with me 🙂 you you scorpio you!!

ok, sure am pouting now.. But see I try my best to please.. and what does he do? HE strokes my leg while driving home, he smiles at me, watches soccer and snores 5 minutes later!! Seems like you two could be mates 🙂

MMMno....... I think I'll just pout for now!
Tried baking cakes.. didn't work.. and I hate chick movies! I have been torturing a scorpio for quite some time now though! THAT's fun 🙂 he was also rude! But hey, at least HE said goodbye.. *pout pout*

I speak the truth my friend 😉 😛

haha 😄

Sometimes I too think that he's just being aloof because he doesn't believe in this relationship anymore.. But then later when we talk about it, he accuses me of not putting enough effort in it! But that's just me trying to give him enough space and freedom and breathing room and "man time".. whatever and his way of responding to that is acting distant in a "polite non-dramatical"-way but still nonchalant rude! Yesterday I tried not to react to his behaviour and tried to be my happy spontaneous sweet me in my responses. But he always says goodbye before he leaves and now he explicitly didn't even bother (little skunk). And now, regarding tonight, I'll probably go to his place to accompany him during babysitting..
Sometimes I feel like he's constantly "teaching me a lesson". He's such wise guy! *sigh* Like he knows best and I'm just a doubter and chaotic. I'm partly gemini.. so shoot me. I feel that his mercury in capricorn doesn't take that all that well 🙂 ("These people can seem a little strict and judgmental with others, and they are easily bothered when others don't seem to "get" things that seem extraordinarily obvious to them")

But that's just me trying to give him enough space and freedom and breathing room and "man time"..
did he ask for this? how come you're trying? isn't giving him space natural to you?

Well he didn't ask.. but then again he never asks for these things, he just expects me to know, to feel what is going on in his head or how he feels emotionally at a certain moment.

Last saturday his sister in law (saggi) told me how she "respected" me for being able to let him go out on his own (..can you imagine??) because she has problems doing that with my boyfriend's brother. He's off on his own at least 4 days a week and no I don't have a problem with that. But when I feel that it's "my turn" now and he acts distant I'm just wondering what to do next. Is this because he feels it's ME not giving him enough attention or is it because there's something else going on?

ok sounds like communication issues - the thing is if you leave people to sense things, there is the risk of mis-sensing or misinterpreting...
like how do you know he expects you to know?
if he has that projected to you, have you projected to him that you're not psychic?

If something's not quite clear, isn't it best to clear it out with the person you're dealing with to be on the same page instead of attempt to fill the gaps yourself?

You're never going to know what's going on with anyone other than yourself, no matter how long you try to determine.

Indeed.. I feel the same way, but sadly enough there are 3 occasions on which in the past he acted the way he does right now:

1) he feels that he doesn't see mee enough + not enough effort => I ....FEEL/SENSE.... that things are not ok => I start talking to him, "questioning" him and he admits that he wants to see more of me => I adjust => everything = OK again

2) he once ran into an ex-girlfriend who dumped him. Now, I trust him and I still quite don't know WHAT happened there but his behaviour changed after that "incident". He acted distant and insecure and confused. I didn't know about the whole situation, and he didn't tell me, but I ....FELT/SENSED.... that there was something going on. However I gave him time and after a lot of talking and understanding I was able to eventually "drag" certain painful issues out of him. Afterwards he was glad we got things out in the open and we moved on 🙂

3) he has a new project he's working on = he's tired => he gets upset when things don't go smoothly his way => he starts acting stuborn and recalcitrant => he acts aloof towards me because "I don't give him straight answers and he had to arrange everything ALWAYS" ..needless to say this is an overstatement 🙂

I'm going with the 3rd option, since he's been working in his newly bought house and since he gave himself an unrealistic deadline (christmas day) to move into the house and for your information: "GODDAMNIT, THIS IS SERIOUS SHIT!!" => he's not kiddin' .... 🙂 ....

wow