AQUA HOW SHOULD I REACT WHEN YOU BECOME ALOOF?

Hello aquas...🙂could you help me understand? im confused
i have two good aqua male friends...both are interested in a relationship.Aqua#1 has declared his interest and talked about settling down afew months ago although hes always surrounded by alot of women and has alot of female friends...

aqua#2 has not declared himself verbally yet.we have not ever discussed dating but his signals are clear and our friends always hint and joke about us hooking up...

im confused because i really dont know where to go from here...im trying to move on from a horrible dating expirience with a virgo.
I love my both my friends...and i dont know how to react when they become aloof and unreachable if in a relationship?

I appreciate any help...gracias

hi, well what are their love placements? do you know? 🙂

Hi lisa 🙂
aqua 1 is capricorn venus
aqua 2 is picses venus...

I would just give them space. In truth.. I think Aqua aloofness should never really be all that tolerated unless we are only talking about a day or so. Even then you should be able to touch base with someone. Don't let the definition of a personality type make it acceptable to you for them acting that way. You should use that information to help you understand them better...

how desperate are you?

Step#1-Heal and move on from the Virgo experience.
Step#2-Self reflect and build yourself back up.
Step#3- People become aloof for lots of reasons. Know and love yourself...other people's behavior will not affect you.

guy no.1 with all those female friends......ewwwww. I dont like guys with alot of female friends, it's a huge RED FLAG.
you dont know who he is fancying secretly. Sure, they'll balk and say, no, they're all friends, but you never know. Unless he's a secret in the closet gay. Gay friends are the best for a bff for girlfriends.
Although, he's probably wondering...."who shall i pick..Eenie meenie miney moe. Moe looks alright, but boring, Meenie is really cruel but she is responsible and works hard, Eenie is a tiny thing, rambunctious and flirtatious and comes from wealth, while miney might be just the thing, wall flower and sweet."

guy no.2 sounds much better.

hello...Thanks for the responses...i am healing gradually letting nature run its course.however this has occured unexpectedly and i have alot of questions...its been a year since the virgo expirience.
i have learnt my lessons and it seems aquas (in relationships)are an unknown teritory for me as a taurus(theyre real easy friends)...im simply trying to be alittle more cautious with my heart...i have venus in aries which always gets me burned.😢
hope it makes sense.

Is being aloof nessesarily negative?

Posted by lovelytaurus
hello...Thanks for the responses...i am healing gradually letting nature run its course.however this has occured unexpectedly and i have alot of questions...its been a year since the virgo expirience.
i have learnt my lessons and it seems aquas (in relationships)are an unknown teritory for me as a taurus(theyre real easy friends)...im simply trying to be alittle more cautious with my heart...i have venus in aries which always gets me burned.😢
hope it makes sense.

Is being aloof nessesarily negative?

aries in venus falls in love fast i read. Uma Thurman is a Taurus woman with an Aquarius man, but her venus is in Gemini.

what is aloof anyway? someone that ignores you? Someone who is stuck up?

lisa Aqua#2 i spend hours with him easy and we talked alot even when i was still married.

i NEVER once thought about him romantically.Although lately i sense a diffrence in his actions and my friends when they see us together tell me that only a blind person would not see it...and im beggining to see it gradually.🙂

Posted by lovelytaurus
lisa Aqua#2 i spend hours with him easy and we talked alot even when i was still married.

i NEVER once thought about him romantically.Although lately i sense a diffrence in his actions and my friends when they see us together tell me that only a blind person would not see it...and im beggining to see it gradually.🙂

Probably cause he knows you're available now. 🙂

He probably always liked you, but respected your marriage. But he won't go do anything unless you feel something back of course, like any decent man.

Posted by Metoo
It would be awesome if you could just focus on you right now and recovering from the breakup and learning from it.
Because I will tell you, friendship with Aqua is an amazing gift.

In love (being careful not to generalize here) its another story *most* times.
They like space, they dont progress normally through relationships, they do not like being overwhelmed by feelings and emotion, they can be hard to understand and connect with in a relationship...I could go on..
I would spend some time reading back through the posts here but really, try and just keep them both as friends only and see where it goes slowly and naturally.

A relationship takes alot of work, so first put some work into you. Date lots of signs casually and discover new friends and interests. When you truly are healed, then you can maybe settle down but take your time, otherwise subconsciously your gonna look for the guy to be fillng a hole or void. That kind of role should never be played by either partner.

lol@Date lots of signs i thought i was the only one who thought of dating by signs...
and yes my aqua friens all through my life have been a gift...dating them however im really lost here.

*friends

Posted by NotYourAverageAquarius
I would just give them space. In truth.. I think Aqua aloofness should never really be all that tolerated unless we are only talking about a day or so. Even then you should be able to touch base with someone. Don't let the definition of a personality type make it acceptable to you for them acting that way. You should use that information to help you understand them better...

how would you go about it if you were in my shoes—

Posted by lisabethur8

Posted by lovelytaurus
lisa Aqua#2 i spend hours with him easy and we talked alot even when i was still married.

i NEVER once thought about him romantically.Although lately i sense a diffrence in his actions and my friends when they see us together tell me that only a blind person would not see it...and im beggining to see it gradually.🙂

Probably cause he knows you're available now. 🙂

He probably always liked you, but respected your marriage. But he won't go do anything unless you feel something back of course, like any decent man.

click to expand

i just dont know where to go from here though...i feel weird.🙂

I would've thought it to be easy. Ask Aqua2 out and make it so there's no mistaking that you like him. You'll find out your answer one way or another. If no then I guess that only really leaves Aqua1.

As for being aloof, I really don't know what you mean. Is that a way of saying "I want attention all the time so I can't deal with it if either Aquas need their own time".

Posted by aquasnoz
I would've thought it to be easy. Ask Aqua2 out and make it so there's no mistaking that you like him. You'll find out your answer one way or another. If no then I guess that only really leaves Aqua1.

As for being aloof, I really don't know what you mean. Is that a way of saying "I want attention all the time so I can't deal with it if either Aquas need their own time".

hello.
i dont know if i like him yet...far from asking him out i dont even know how to act around him...before this i was comfortable with him and never second guess myself about saying or doing anything with him but now im more careful.dont you think it better that i leave the asking to him?

Aqua2 has pursued me from day one and we just went out a few times...i have met all close friends and some family but briefly...my issue is with the multitude of female friends...

its not about wanting attention...i would like to know your suggestions of how i should handle the aloofness..like i said aqua is unfamiliar teritory...is it negative to you when a woman wants some attention?

Well the aloofness can come in many forms so it's too vague of a question for me to personally answer. I certainly can't tell you how to react to these situations because they are unique to you no matter how you seek advice about it. Keep that under consideration.

As to the Aqua with Cap venus with LOTS of female friends - how long have you known him? Does his behavior suggests he wants all these women? I don't have information but you know him personally. I also have a lot of female friends but the ratio is 50/50. Lisabeth has her merits and so do you and if you really believe he keeps these girls around for his own entertainment then follow that gut instinct.

As to the Aqua with pisces venus. Trust me when I say he feels you. As a fellow Aqua with pisces I always wait until I'm certain but if you're giving him the vibe that you are not certain yourself then you might as well wait an eternity because we'll never say anything. Asking a man to chase with pisces influences is a no go, you'll need to have a it of conviction yourself. We're the type that only feels comfortable when we 'feel' it.

And no I don't think it's wrong for a woman to want attention but I ask you this is it wrong for an Aqua to have some alone time without another sign worrying it's a red flag?

Posted by aquasnoz
Well the aloofness can come in many forms so it's too vague of a question for me to personally answer. I certainly can't tell you how to react to these situations because they are unique to you no matter how you seek advice about it. Keep that under consideration.

As to the Aqua with Cap venus with LOTS of female friends - how long have you known him? Does his behavior suggests he wants all these women? I don't have information but you know him personally. I also have a lot of female friends but the ratio is 50/50. Lisabeth has her merits and so do you and if you really believe he keeps these girls around for his own entertainment then follow that gut instinct.

As to the Aqua with pisces venus. Trust me when I say he feels you. As a fellow Aqua with pisces I always wait until I'm certain but if you're giving him the vibe that you are not certain yourself then you might as well wait an eternity because we'll never say anything. Asking a man to chase with pisces influences is a no go, you'll need to have a it of conviction yourself. We're the type that only feels comfortable when we 'feel' it.

And no I don't think it's wrong for a woman to want attention but I ask you this is it wrong for an Aqua to have some alone time without another sign worrying it's a red flag?

well aloof in my situation is when i need a response to something and i have to keep reminding them things that we agreed to do together,following through with plans,returning calls etc.

aqua with cap venus- i have known him a year now...i havent met any of them when were together but his fb pics leave alot to be desired.i asked him if hes seeing any of them or interested in anyway and he said no.and hes shockingly honest about it.

aqua with pisces venus- what do you suggest i do here?

aquasnoz the alone time youre referring does it mean solitude or time with other people without your SO—

Well I can tell you off the bat if it comes to response times with my S/O there's no aloofness non at all if that is what you're worried about. That was the whole point my question, you are preparing for the worst before it even begins and I think that's a bad way going INTO a relationship.

What I'm ultimately suggesting, taking out either of the Aquas is letting things unfold according to your own terms. I'm sorry but this post in general gives me the feeling of "I'm unsure so I want you guys to decide for me what I should and shouldn't do".

If the AquaCap says it's the truth, believe him. If you like the AquaPisces more then go for him. Ultimately it's on you to make the choice isn't it?

Also answering your question.

My time means just that, if I feel the need to recharge and be on my own. I might be at home just working on my art, playing a video game or I might be hanging out with friends have a few drinks. If I am to give you a timeframe the longest I go 'aloof' for is 12 hours within a day.

Posted by aquasnoz
Also answering your question.

My time means just that, if I feel the need to recharge and be on my own. I might be at home just working on my art, playing a video game or I might be hanging out with friends have a few drinks. If I am to give you a timeframe the longest I go 'aloof' for is 12 hours within a day.

^^^ seems pretty reasonable for any sign male or female.
although you must admit aquas do take the "my time" further than anyone else.i read somewhere that aquas would rather be single just to have their independence and they like to feel single even when they are with someone.
is this true for you?

It's somewhat true. I value my own identity and freedom because I hate the idea of being labelled as a singular entity "the couple" rather than two different people. There's just something not right to me personally about spending every moment as a couple and that everything has to be done AS a couple.

I understand not all people can relate to this yearning for independence and we all view it differently but Aquarians are very loyal people from my immediate experience.

It's the dating part people often get mixed up in. We are a different and being aloof means different while dating as opposed to being in a relationship. If at any stage during the courtship I feel smothered for no reason my natural reaction is actually to just back off.

Posted by aquasnoz
It's somewhat true. I value my own identity and freedom because I hate the idea of being labelled as a singular entity "the couple" rather than two different people. There's just something not right to me personally about spending every moment as a couple and that everything has to be done AS a couple.

I understand not all people can relate to this yearning for independence and we all view it differently but Aquarians are very loyal people from my immediate experience.

It's the dating part people often get mixed up in. We are a different and being aloof means different while dating as opposed to being in a relationship. If at any stage during the courtship I feel smothered for no reason my natural reaction is actually to just back off.

Aquasnos here is exactly where im stuck and i just want to understand beforehand what i might be getting myself into.how best to handle the independence and the smothering...taurus is the mother of smother...lol add venus aries and Boom...would you blame me for being cautious?
although i think aquapicses is a better friend and would make a great boyfriend to anygirl...he has been my friend 8yrs now and i love him as a friend.🙂

I can see why you are guarded but I'm still imploring you to see the truth behind it which is you can never be too guarded or ever be in control of the other person when it comes to a relationship. I know that's not your intention but there's such thing as being overly cautious.

I won't deny Aquas get labelled aloof but people use it against us without any knowledge what it actually means or given what context. Virgos put up their walls, Pisceans go back to dreamland, Aries turn on their ice mode, Libras need balance back in their lives. There's lots of reasons for someone to go 'aloof' it is not a trait that's apparent in Aquarius.

The most important aspect is loving yourself and accept love without overly dissecting what hasn't happened.

this is absolutely true about being too cautious...aquasnoz i dont know about asking aquapisces out...but i will give him the vibes as you said...dont know how though :/

Just be yourself 🙂 show him you care through your actions, you can't fake it! You just have to own it.

Also I'm sorry for my replies I've been negative of late.

I still mean them it's just I was more blunt about it than usual.

lol ill live 🙂
although i have noticed what you speak of in terms of feeling negative...maybe theres something affecting all aquas because i noticed that aquacap has been really edgy and grumpy lately...

i keep asking him whats wrong because hes not himself and i can tell something is bothering him...but he keeps avoiding talking about it saying he will tell me when the time comes or i will know when the time is right...and hes really restless right now.im hoping its not because of me...

why do you feel negative?

First lesson in aloofness? 😛 Sorry just entertaining myself!

There's a number of things on my mind right now 🙂 Moon's squaring venus and uranus right now so I'm just letting this fester for a while and indulging in some sad music. Aqua's aren't quick on the uptake to share these inner conflicts and I agree because I personally feel they're negativity is contagious! We feel it, we give the vibe off! So we disappear 😉

Actually that might just be my pisces moon talking. But seclusion is nice.

oops typo! they're = that

yeah i get what you mean because i went through afew of the other posts and it seems like most of you aquas are alittle on edge at the moment...its just a phase because i know how generally peaceloving and calm you are.

it must be very hard to balance the pisces with the aqua in you...how do you deal with the conflict?
my aquapisces is generally very relaxed and thats what makes it easy to spend all my time with him...come to think of it
im praying that im not reading the signals wrong...there i go again second guessing myself...

Posted by lovelytaurus
yeah i get what you mean because i went through afew of the other posts and it seems like most of you aquas are alittle on edge at the moment...its just a phase because i know how generally peaceloving and calm you are.

it must be very hard to balance the pisces with the aqua in you...how do you deal with the conflict?
my aquapisces is generally very relaxed and thats what makes it easy to spend all my time with him...come to think of it
im praying that im not reading the signals wrong...there i go again second guessing myself...

Well other placements might also come into play 🙂 I'm also a pisces moon and mars so it can be very apparent. I think it's natural I don't usually feel conflict when I express love. It's clearer when I have inner conflicts and that's where the aqua and pisces combo seem to collide.

I guess just keep in mind I relate to the description about pisces venus that we love to love and that component shines even when I just love someone as a friend. If there's any clues is that I would naturally make a lot more time for that someone I'm actually romantically interested in.

well you seem like you appreciate your pisces side alot more than your aqua one is that right?

uh huh yes the time factor is a given with us...time just flies...i remember my ex cancer husband feeling uneasy with our frienship and whenever he(aquapisces) would visit us my husband always had his reservations about him and i would ridicule him and brush it off as harmless jealousy...guess he picked up the vibe and i was oblivious.🙂

heres his chart dunno what to make of it though...
Sun Aquarius
Ascendant Scorpio
Moon Capricorn
Mercury Capricorn
Venus Pisces
Mars Pisces
Jupiter Sagittarius
Saturn Scorpio

Posted by lovelytaurus
heres his chart dunno what to make of it though...
Sun Aquarius
Ascendant Scorpio
Moon Capricorn
Mercury Capricorn
Venus Pisces
Mars Pisces
Jupiter Sagittarius
Saturn Scorpio

Might depend on certain dominant factors. I still make no claim as to being an astrology expert but just my own observations. All these signs point to a more feminine or inwards energy. Everything about this chart just screams out things being bottled and can manifest in different ways.

The Cap moon might be the factor here in containing much of his emotions that he doesn't act sporadically as you've mentioned. Might be this need for stability and being in control. I can relate to that with my own Mercury in Cap, most of the things I say are usually after some thought and even at times I stumble if I feel like I can't find the right words.

I've already covered those pisces aspect but it's too cloudy with the cap moon. Pisces energy might lead to obsession and possession where the cap moon's containing the feelings OR it could be that pure loving energy and the cap moon is downplaying it.

I'm trying not to factor in the rising here because you've known him for a while now. If you haven't gotten past the scorpio rising by now I'd be surprised 😛

I think just going by that chart I can sort of assume his age and depending on whether he's hit his saturn return he might've found his purpose in life but that's more dealing with him so to speak.

I'm assuming you feel more connected to this Aqua?

Aquasnoz you are amazing...i have a cap moon as well although some sites on the net say its in aqua...so probably im a cusp moon :/...maybe thats why we feel connected more...

about his age and purpose yes he turned 30 on the 11th of feb...hes more serious he quit smoking last year and he stopped partying...and hes very vocal about settling down and having a family soon...
hes sending all these signals to me that i cant ignore...his friends keep teasing us more lately,does that mean anything?does he tell them?

what about the scorp rising?

"my own Mercury in Cap, most of the things I say are usually after some thought and even at times I stumble if I feel like I can't find the right words".

lol very true i can relate to this...he actually stutters when hes lying or when hes not sure about something...dead give away and he knows i know...🙂

aww thanks! I don't deserve the credit! but thankyou!

It's definitely an endearing quality for others but explosive I hope you haven't witnessed an explosive moment from this Aqua lol. As for the Rising it tends to be a mask we were or how we present ourselves to others so your usual associations of scorpio would apply here being secretive, magneticm, alluring etc usually just surface traits but if the sun is the weakest influence at time of his birth it would be more apparent.

It still does tie in quite well though with the other traits! Theory is that past the Saturn Return one's less likely to be worried about self-presentation so perhaps you are right, that part about wanting to be secretive has finally lifted.

As for asking questions I'm sure he does, even I do it! I think it's this fear of rejection or fear of reality or maybe in his case fear of losing control. I've seen caps lose their cool before but they do prod when they're curious.

hmmm going by your theory of the secrecy being lifted do you think he will tell me how he feels? im so anxious aquasnoz...

Also i tend to think it could be just a passing phase where he may be craving stability and a relationship and one day he wakes up and poof its gone...is this a possibility in your veiw?
how would you react & behave given this senario?

Well this is where I ask you to try not put too much stock behind astrology. It's interesting to work out one self but it can be dangerous to use it to try and guess how someone behaves. The Rising in most cases is just surface level so I don't think you need to worry about secrecy 🙂

Given his immediate influences without knowing the actual chart I'm inclined to say no he wouldn't just up and go like that. If it was up to me even given what I call these flaky and inwards signs I still live by not regretting the what ifs so I always find out and I always make the first move, I'd like to think I'm throwing astrology out the window when I do that but I do have certain fire placements even when it's my least dominant element that drives me to go to lengths to find out answers.

What are his past relationships like? Has he pursued or has he always been pursued?

well i havent really seen any of his g.friends or dont know his dating style but i have over the years tried to fix him up with girls and hes very reluctant and lazy to follow up...although i tried doing it again recently and he kept turning down all my suggestions and when i asked him to describe his preference he described me...without saying to much...lol

i feel like im in highschool again...lol hes not saying anything and neither am i...its getting awkward and im embarrassed im 33yrs old hes 30yrs old...sigh what have i got myself into...

All good things will come 🙂

I hope it won't be a stalemate forever of course who knows when that magical moment will happen but I'm sure some sparks will go off when it does!

hi aquasnoz 🙂
stalemate i like that...it truely is going on forever...but i love how you put it...
would you do the same?
how would you behave?

If I was in this situation? I would probably end up telling you lol but wait for the right moment. Every girl I've been out with have never mistaken my feelings and I'll just quote them they can really feel it. So I don't really need to say it but I do anyway, when I'm certain I tell them I like them 🙂

LoL i feel it alright!!!
thing is when were alone he becomes really shy...🙂
i have to keep initiating for us to meet but when i do hes always up for it no matter where he is and i like how its going...minus the status quo...sigh.

can i help things along— 🙂
anything i can say or do?

maybe subtle hints and reminders! Try and find an excuse to get a bit closer physically! He might not react but if he's not pulling away I'd probably take it as a good sign!