Aqua man back - what to do?!

love: charming, smart, great chemistry
hate: found him dating other women, stopped calling

now, i've been dating other people for last two weeks when he stopped calling. he just texted me. he does have a special place in my heart. what to do?

A. turn the table around and ignore him for a while? many of you say that they like to chase and be aloof like them...

B. text him back. many of you say that they are insecure and need to be chased and reassurance.

C. call him back and call him out on what i know about him? probably not a good idea since he's not my boyfriend and he would definitely be scared away now

oh, what to do?

by the way, the timeline goes, last time i saw him was two weeks ago while i acted clingy to him, called him last thursday and now the little text.

i know in the normal dating world, it's not too long of a time, and in aqua world, it's probably a second, but in my world, cuz i really like him, it's eternity and basically saying it was over.

I feel ya.......(((HUGS))).......personal torture, but works, stay stead fast to what you want an expect and don't give or else accept what he is offering and be clear on what that is and not too emotional as to throw him into cardiac. Whatever you do, be yourself, not what another wants you to be, because trying to change for someone or hoping they will, is not reality adn you will be hurt more.........


GOOD LUCK with your choices and decisions!


AND UR AQUA! 😉

^ You're over thinking it.... It's not a booty call nor is that serious. And if it is, that would imply that she had consented to some form of sexual engagement prior to her post now. She has to take responsibility for what she allowed... and if that's not the case, then why is she making this so complicated? She said it her self... They are not exclusively dating. To me it means it's a casual relationship...

Usually those instances are very vague/friendly with a lot of harmless flirting, in which both participants are allowed to explore outside options... hey, you did it... so if he's wrong, so are you. Don't try to fit a square perspective into a circle reality.

I think you need to stop making it such a complicated issue, and just speak to the guy, and leave out the drama.... because that will show him that YOU are insecure about your position with him.

in shorter terms....

"Cant take the heat, stay out of the kitchen" ya dig?

Perhaps this isn't the game for you.

Allow him back in as a friend. Nothing more nothing less and make it clear to him. If he wants to know why you tell him he hurt you once not again. If he ever wants you back as more than a friend he really has to start from scratch all over again and this time prove him himself worthy double time!

Don't allow him back in as a friend when your feelings for him are still so strong..that would be a BIG mistake and your judgement about the guy is already cloudy. Ignore him and sort out what's in your own brain. If however, you really need to speak to him, send a message to acknowledge his text but say that you've nothing to say right now.

so agonizing...

he called after i ignored the text. his text was just like whatsup. then he left a voicemail. nothing special, just like thought of you, giving u a call.

i do have other dates but he is sleeping with other women. but that aside, i still like him and wish things could be different. so the advice i get from my friends are just like on this board: extremes.

A. do not call him; he'll call again. i don't know about that. i thought aquas are prideful and insecure, and like being chased.

B. call him, and be casual. i guess i could just do that and be friends with him. but Cancer and Leo are right. i'm very into him and it's dangerous. i don't know if i am capable of just seeing sometimes and sleep with him sometimes. i do want more.

so i'm thinking i have to inch forward and see if i can't bear it anymore, i'll call him to say hi and make excuses not to see him and keep him away. maybe by then, i'll like someone else. it has not been easy at all for the last two weeks. i don't know, i have no clue what i'm going to do at this point. no Clue!!!!!

he did ask me to call him back. he said he was next to my office building.

i had a feeling he was going to ask me to hang out not yesterday but maybe today or something. i'm so tempted to cancel my date with this other guy to hang out with aqua. but i know it would be bad. ahh...

so still going on the date with someone else tonight, practicing self-restrain, and i have none.

Listen to Unusualcancer she knows what she's talking about. Really think about if this is about your ego rather than the guy. Us girls love to be admired and Aquarius are so charming and will make you feel so special but you have to know if it's for real and this guy obviously is distracted by other women so his moves on you seem somewhat insincere. If I were you I would tell him that you are only interested in a monogamous relationship with someone and there is no point in pursuing anything with him unless he's on board. If he says he is, then test him by making him wait a good while before hitting the sack. Take that time to determine his character and if you know for sure he's cheated on you, dump him.

i didn't call him last night, wow, two days!

so tempted. especially my date last night didn't go too well. so wanted to call him and drop by. but that would put me in the lowest category with him, i know. so i didn't do it.

my friends are still divided: call him now, versus, don't call him.

im gonna wait but i hope it won't be too late and he'll just give up altogether, and i'd ruin something potentially good with him.

dating men are hard, dating aqua men are impossible!

Dating a aqua is VERY difficult, Virgo too, IMO.

Keep the distance, let him come to you, its hard, but it will pay off for you i am sure, what is meant to be will come of it.


Dont listen to your g/f, listen to other men. Women resourcing other women is not a good idea to figure out a mans wants. UC has a hand up and experience w/the type of male you seek to gain his undivided attention as she has accomplished. Not that all their advice is bad (g/f) but they always have "ties" to reasons unknown. And people here who have no "attachment" "emotion" to the situation. It generally works better.


That is my advice....for whatever it is worth.

u guys r great. i agree that lots of advice has "personal" attachment to it. i should only listen to successful women and guys.

however, all guys suggest contacting him, like at least texting him?!

Lol, how vivid, UC, i get the point. i don't want to be spit out like rotten meat.

i don't know why im attracted to such challenging species; i think most women who date aqua guys take a lot of crap from them. like waiting around for their calls, contacting them and chasing them down. the whole myth about their being aloof, slow, taking their time, etc... all sound like crap, like they are being treated badly by these guys.

i don't think these guys are just lost in their highly-intellectual world, they doing someone else and calling someone else. i wish i could just walk away.

but i do want him back, but not on his terms, and i'm firm on that! so i'll just suffer now.

i don't know how to take the control back into my reign so i'll have to just stay away then... because i'm not willing to part of his harem.

but i do want him back, but not on his terms, and I'm firm on that! so I'll just suffer now.



BOy o BOy Boy do i understand that, and do i know the feeling and pain. (((HUGS)))


I said in my thread about my aqua male, how i didn't answer his calls, he tricked me to contact me, and stated he knew i was avoiding his calls, i did what felt right for me at the open door he gave me, and he begged to come over, i stead fast at no. THAT was difficult, i cried every time he called and i didn't answer. I cried almost everyday. But, then, when he begged to come and was gonna come again, and did not, i worried, legitimately worried about him. SO I finally said my piece about that as well, today i realized the worry was effecting me and my life and my focus, so i called and stated how i was sorry i cared enough to care whether he was alright or not. A phone call was not too much to ask that he wasn't coming, or that he was okay. He called, higher power took control of that, cause i didn't hear the phone, but i did see where he called back 20 minutes later, my mind was set to ease, what i already knew confirmed, he was being his aqua self, and inconsiderate is how most would express that. Aqua's, aloof....whatever it is, it was effecting me, that was my problem. I called back and thanked him, let him know i didnt hear the phone, and i appreciated him calling back that i now know he is fine.


No more need to be in touch is reality, time away from each other is probably best and he needs to make up his mind, cause yes, he could have the whole dish as UC has expressed it, i don't want what he has to offer me which is no more than what you are getting, and it gets worse w/time, not better, and your feelings get deeper and more painful, while he is not even giving you much thought, cause he is out w/others, other females and he is doing him without concern or consideration to you.


If you are not you, then it will never work.

If you try to be what he wants you to be or what you think that is, it will never work.

And remember, there was something he was attracted to, and he may have found out that you are not what he was looking for, and if so, there is better out there for ya, cause if it ain't making your world better and happier, then move on, let it go, if its meant to be, it will be. And there is NO rush.

he kept texting me, it's friday afternoon in CA. when would it be ok for me to respond to him?

does this get worse, like Gem says?

If you had sex with the guy and I guess you did since you haven't denied it, him ignoring you for so long is a sign that he doesn't value you. How to get him to value you is a very long road since you gave it up very early and he can't manage to pick up a phone on your behalf. Stop selling yourself cheap. Don't answer his texts and when/if he calls, tell him you are not interested in men who aren't looking for the same things you want. It should be upfront, no reason to be cute and believe me the biggest players are shocked and pleasantly surprised by a woman who knows what she wants. Men do like women who don't play games and will call a guy on his bad behavior. I've done it and it worked wonders. 😉 If he doesn't then you'll know you need to move on.

for those who don't know the history. we went on fun dates three times and i gave up the goods. then we continued to go on two more fun dates. though on these two dates, i had the "talk" with him cuz i wanted to leave sex out to slow down. he volunteered info that hes not sleeping with anyone else and if we date others, we'd tell each other.

i saw him couple of days later at a party and was pretty wasted and called him a player. i spent a lot of time just to talk to him. then i didn't hear from him, (prior to this, i heard from him at least every other day), for nine days and i called him. meanwhile, i saw him out with another girl.

i didn't tell him what i saw and just played it cool. he said it was b/c i acted crazy at the party.

six days later, which was wednesday, he texted me, then called me, i think he wanted to make plans with me for the weekend. he usually calls a couple of days ahead. i didn't answer to either his text or call.

i have to admit that i did text him back yesterday to say that i would call him later and he texts me back immediately and continued to text me for about five times. i didn't answer back. i went out today and got a little tipsy so i called him. he didn't answer and i didn't leave a message. i felt like i missed the opportunity to hang out with him this weekend, afterall, he wasn't gone for too long, maybe we'd pick up where we left off. however, i know i messed up by contacting him at all. i have no clue that if he just have nothing else better to do or he chose to hang out with me cuz he didn't want to lose me.

the fact is he didn't treat me badly before. i did act out of character before the party. and he was probably seeing other women. so he didn't treat me well for the past two weeks and didn't own up to it.

i know it's quite normal in today's dating world that men don't feel any obligation to date just one woman or own up to what they really do early on. however, all of you are right that regardless of other women, if he really likes me, or wants to hang with me, he can make more effort in calling me. and he doesn't, he's just not that interested.

it is a big ego blow that i think i should be the top pick for him as he is not all that gorgeous. but it is what it is. time has been really rough for me, but it would better than being used and thrown away months or years down the road. it's better to know it and cut my loss now. it's hard to let him go. but i'm not even wo

it's hard to let him go. but i'm not even worth his calls or effort then i doubt things will get better. he obviously doesn't like me that much.

lol bijou! you are classic 🙂

.....and so very right!

i figured out that he was not with anyone this weekend cuz i have friends live in the area. i'm not sure it was a bad thing or good thing that he tried to make plans with me when he had nothing else going on.

in the normal dating world, if i didn't know about his lies, it wouldn't be too out of the boundary. curse is the knowledge.

some friends say i should have taken the opportunity to spend time with him to bond with him. others say it's good that he was alone and taste his own medicine. i don't think it made him miss me since he didn't call me over the weekend.

i'm staying away, until i can handle talking to him like a friend. that's my plan, but one day at a time...

i see these other posts that aqua men shy and slow. i wish i could slow him down. he does take me out on fun dates but i want to do stuff with him during the day, like outdoor activities, so that it's not like romantic and then in the sack. im not sure if he wants to do that with me. i know that guys do that after they date for a while. so maybe i missed that opportunity this weekend cuz he was alone.

i guess i really like him since i just can't get over him. so the second plan is to see how i could possibly turn the situation around. i know that i don't want to go back to the same situation again. hmmm...

i hope he calls again, why wouldn't he call me again?

i need to get a tattoo that says: U-turn if you are an aqua man, crazy inside.

what i dont understand is that if u can't take crap from them then u need to be straight and call em on what u know and what u want. but u can't do that w aqua men, cuz they ll freeze and run. so how do u show ur strengh w em? how do u call em out on their bluff.

if they r trying to bs u, do u just listen and pretend u believe em or call em out on it? whats the art of doing that w/o driving em away?

The art is to just let him go. If you have to constantly wonder about him you'll drive yourself crazy. I'm an Aqua female and know we aquas can play a lot of head games. I personally think it's a waste of time but there are always people who think it's fun. This guy is not worth your time, tears, thoughts or whatever. Just ignore him and move on. I know it's easier said than done because you are emotional about him. What you should do is just remember the good times you had with him and smile. Chalk this experience up to a lesson learned.

Whatever advice you get here doesn't belie the fact that you guys are not meshing. A good relationship happens pretty easily, you don't have to re-think the things you do. You just do and they like. If they don't, move on. Next time you meet someone, take things slower, don't get drunk (guys hate that unless they want to get into your pants). Hey, how about establishing a friendship that has an emotional and mental connection as well as physical? Work on those things and don't worry about the ones that got away. Men are like buses....😉

buses -- lol