AQUARIUS: How do you heal emotionally?

I lived w/ an Aries for two years. To make a long story short. Last time we really spoke I packed all my clothes, left all the furniture and moved out. Payed rent until found someone to take my lease. Attempted to remain friends but typical Aries ways- did not die. Completely cut communication off 5 months ago. But still emotionally/mentally wounded.

so, what if a couple breaks up and then re-unites and gets back together years later, considering that both people still have feelings for one another... this happens all of the time. is it possible for the relationship to work out even though it didn't in the past?

"Or what really bugs me, people who are getting married and then start thinking about other pasts loves and what ifs. Hello!!! You are getting married, focus on THAT person!"

-EXACTLY!!!

Thanks for some of the comments and feedback: However I have a few issues of my own:

1. By nature we Aquarius are deattached. When we really care for someone we leave ourselves vunerable to get hurt. We are aware of that- thats why we dont go wearing our heart in our sleeves.

2. We like to think and rationalize- we hate being stuck on emotional downers- because we lose control and thats really the worst part of it all. I personally cannot handle not being in control of myself.

3. When we are out the door- we are gone. But we will still think about past relationship b/c from any good or bad relation we learned what we liked and what we didnt. If the relationship started out as friends (as is common for aquarius)- we are likely to remain friends if we ended in mutual terms. However if things didnt end on the best terms- NO way will we be friends. We can forgive but we dont forget. And personally one day, retribution might get the best of us- and when we realized that you hurt us on purpose- we'll get you where it hurts the most.

4. When starting a new relationship- I am honest about what I want and expect. If attitudes and goals are aligned, Im willing to take it futher. If they are not- I may choose to remain friends with that person.

5. What's with the whole "guy and rejection" theory? You dont need to go through an experience to get that emotion. Those are each individuals insecurities and weaknesses playing on their head that enable them from talking/asking out a girl. Its like this: Drugs are bad- do you neccessarily need to become an addict to feel that?? NO- absolutely not! I think what it boils down to is knowing what you want out of life and what you think you deserve. Some people know this at an ealier age and other eventually grow up.

6. I agree with aquaj- rejection is nothing personal. Hey it has nothing to do with you its more with the other person.

7. I am still hurt from the whole Aries situation NOT because I think its still sad....bla bla blah... but because I allowed it to happen. The other person could be living it up- while i have that after taste of "why did I let this happen?

8. I thought fellow Aquarius would heal differently since we are so detached. What happens when we do go through these emotional setbacks. We can rationalize everything, but once we lost control of our feelings- our minds get cloudy and we lose our focus.

9. As an aquarius, are we left to deal with emotional damage

9. As an aquarius, are we left to deal with emotional damage like "EVERYONE" else? Scary, huh?

As a general rule and some good advise:

You dont take back what you vomit-

(the wording gets lost in transaltion- but you get the idea).

"3. When we are out the door- we are gone. But we will still think about past relationship b/c from any good or bad relation we learned what we liked and what we didnt. If the relationship started out as friends (as is common for aquarius)- we are likely to remain friends if we ended in mutual terms. However if things didnt end on the best terms- NO way will we be friends. We can forgive but we dont forget. And personally one day, retribution might get the best of us- and when we realized that you hurt us on purpose- we'll get you where it hurts the most."

-i have to disagree with that one b/c the aqua i was with broke up with me...but he certainly isn't gone!

Well no offense but some people have more pride than others. If it wasnt good the first time around or you (theoretically speaking) couldnt appreciate what you had- then why go back? Some still value dignity and integrity-

At the same time ill tell you too much pride- is never good.

"of course it can happen, it depends on the cause of the breakup too. I don't think I would ever do that, coz I dont' go back to my leftovers, and the chances are for it not to work since ppl rarely change"

-i agree about people rarely changing...

-i have to disagree with that one b/c the aqua i was with broke up with me...but he certainly isn't gone!

I'm with Moonchild here - I was dumpeded by Aqua man - he hasn't gone anywhere - 8 months after break up - he's sends me blank emails and calls and hangs up on the phone!

so? does that mean he still loves you? Doesn't sound like the behavior of smb in love to me.

Yeah you're right just a psycho!!!!!!

Im not not aquaruian then, because I do not heal quickly, and im only deattached with my friends.

I wonder if the displays of attachment that some aquas (myself included) exhibit could be due to capricorn in their planets?

Just to add muh 2 cents...

I withdrawl heavily for a long time until my bruises heal. I do come back out to play, but I'm very defensive afterwards. Noone spits in my face twice. Ive alwas wondered if my ability to cut you off in a heartbeat & never look back was an Aqua trait.

So exactly how long is "normal" for aquarius to heal? Is there an equation? Ive heard some say its double the time you spent with someone- any truth? I find the more I refuse to think the more I do- to the point of nightmares!!! Im frustrated that even in my dreams/subconscious I cant CONTROL this.

I totally understand aqua7.

As long as were functioning normally does it matter how long.

Lady M- Thats the THING- IM NOT FUNCTIONING NORMALLY. I can brush someone off like I can change a pair of socks but this person/experience will not go away. I accept what happened- I rationalize it makes sense but the fact that Im still thinking about it- drives me mad! This is taking positive energy I can be chaneling elsewhere and that's just not RIGHT!

OK I understand aqua7, when I say functioning normally, you are performing your normal daily activities satisfactorily...if not you are classified as mentally ill ( I'm taking Abnormal psych this semester).

But you just have to find something or someone new to focus on...II'm still not over this special somebody in my life, but I just force myself nd hold on to the idea of us somebody...trust me the idea will always be sweeter than the realty. Sometimes its best to leave it as an idea, as to not be disappointed i've found out in the past.

Geez...typos galore...see if you can decipher

*someday
*reality

Another person does not work for me, I dont push myself to heal,I cant. Ill just push myself into work and interests.I spent to years alone after my last ex, call it pathetic, but I got other areas of my life developed. & when i love i love,I dont feel like moving on, to what? all my friends go on and on go , go date, f****ck off!!!!!

If I dont push myself to heal, who will? NOt depressed or anything-

But I must agree with the whole "another person" issue- Yah- all the people I met and dated are great however the same intensity and vibe that existed before is no longer there. I get COMPLETELY BORED after a few dates. Not making comparisons but cant help wonder why I dont have those feelings or intensity, I once had before.

Sorry- Elly but I dont want to wind up alone either. What good is developing all other aspects of your life if you cant share them with anyone? Maybe you shouldnt think of it as dating but instead the opportunity to meet new people.

I believe in the least moment expected and with the most unlikeliest person will get those "intense" feelings back!

Aqua-yes i understand,and yes maybe im depressed;( just grasp something sometimes, and then even though ive let them go, im still grasppping somehow....and then theres the whole issue of touching someone else,having to get to know someone else, and i dont like it, I need ages, i am trying to change this..

Seriously- is it an aquarius thing. Or do we just not like other people to touch us. i get so irritated when people specially stranges invade my personal space. Grabbing my arm, putting their hand on my shoulder or hugging is simply uneccessary.