Aquarius Mask

Why does an Aquarius deem it necessary to keep emotions to themselves, you guys are human after all so we go against what should be natural to all human beings? The aqua I know for certain is going through a hard time, this year and the last, yet he's spoken to no one about any of it.

I don't know if he's trying to be strong or just has no one to talk to. Everytime I bring up the subject he dismisses it straight away. I want to say he's trying to keep up appearances but even his best friend mentioned to he had not spoken to her about everything that has happened.

Even just briefly seeing him tonight as I would. Smiles and laughter and jokes but I know it's not him. His eyes, the way he avoids contact, the way he spins topics to a more superficial standpoint. Why can't he just TALK to someone about it. Every time his new friends seem to think he's simple and carefree but if only they can see through those sad eyes of his.

What are you guys so afraid of?

That wall comes down after and I do mean only after 100% trust is built. Nothing anyone does/says will bring it down until it's ready to come down. I know others don't always understand it and it's not a game for Aquas, it's just how some of us are. Push/pry before an Aqua is ready to get that close and guess what? The wall is built stronger most times and they will retreat.

It can take years to discuss things, especially if it's something that is traumatic, with another. Plus how do you know he isn't sharing it with someone? Perhaps you are just assuming he is keeping it inside. I have more than 1 super close friend and I don't tell everything to all of them /shrug.

An unshared secret, is the best kept secret. Perhaps he feels it's something that is sacred and needs to be kept to self.

Thank you justagirl. I know he has a wall built like the wall of China and I can't blame him given his life events or ones I'm fortunate to learn about whilst being with him. Maybe that's what I adored about him, he's so complex so full of emotion yet he's never transferred any of that negativity on anybody.

I really worry about him because I did pry and find out his sister had passed almost a year ago and his mother isn't faring too well but everytime I ask him he'd just smile and joke "life can be a bitch sometimes". The more I ask around the more I begin to realise just how little we know about him and his real personal life.

Personally, I understand the need to keep it that way but help me understand how that is a good way to live!

Posted by Libhel
Thank you justagirl. I know he has a wall built like the wall of China and I can't blame him given his life events or ones I'm fortunate to learn about whilst being with him. Maybe that's what I adored about him, he's so complex so full of emotion yet he's never transferred any of that negativity on anybody.

I really worry about him because I did pry and find out his sister had passed almost a year ago and his mother isn't faring too well but everytime I ask him he'd just smile and joke "life can be a bitch sometimes". The more I ask around the more I begin to realise just how little we know about him and his real personal life.

Personally, I understand the need to keep it that way but help me understand how that is a good way to live!

I actually don't think it's a good way to live. I did it for years and cut myself off from everyone. I do not suggest that to anyone. Sorry to hear about his loss, grief can take years for some, especially if he may possibly lose his mother too.

Best advise I can give; let him know you are there for him AND be there if he does need you.

For me, I don't like to discuss hard matters with others ( this is where only certain close people will know certain things). Not sure if I can explain, but I will try. I see emotions a weak, not that they are but it's a weird thing for some Aqua's (maybe just this one) but emotions are things to experience behind closed doors, if it's negative ones or ones people deem as negative. Crying, sorrow.. etc. I know they aren't weak, but something inside me rebels at showing that side or being that exposed/vulnerable in front of others.

@supersizedhero.. I have a ton of Virgo in my chart so perhaps I am coming across as Virgo in my posting or as I say, my Virgo bits are exposed!! However the more I learn about astrology, it seems that our two signs are very similiar!

I don't hide my emotions I just don't like to talk about emotions, especially not my own! How do you feel? How are you? Is everything ok?? are questions that make me cringe because I WILL ask for help or ask if I can lean on a shoulder should I need to. I only talk when I want to or if I have something to say.

Nice bait Hel 😉

You know exactly how I feel about this. I'm not going to talk about this when I'm out with friends. Outings should be fun, not sob story session. Sorry if I can't contain some sort of sadness when the conversation veers towards family but they are just triggers for the moment.

Do I blame myself for what happened, yes. I'm the one that to live with it, nothing you can say will change that for me and I am tired of sympathy and empathy, it's not what I want. I just want to continue living if that's okay, without the incessant need to be reminded of what happened. Also I just can't afford to grief over this, not now anyway.

This is why I don't talk about it, with you or anyone. Everyone thinks they have the ability to solve this for me but it's just not true. I've never had the privilege to confide, I'm not about to start now.

Honestly I'm fine, if I do break for whatever reason you know either you or alex will probably hear about it. Just be you and make me laugh and that's really all I ask for.

Just don't recluse yourself like last time. Your friends need you too.

Posted by Libhel
Just don't recluse yourself like last time. Your friends need you too.

And I hate to point it out to you, where were you when I needed someone. That's right, we all have our priorities, this is exactly why I don't bother.

Really? How was it our fault we couldn't be there? There's no need to be bitter about it... stop being a sook. And for once answer your Whatsapp!

Well that's my point. I'm not going to say anything if you guys are busy so it'll be rather hypocritical of you to expect the same from me, you know, working a bit more to cover expenses for my mum? And damn it woman, there is nothing wrong so just drop it.

My phones dead too so yep, my bad.

Posted by Libhel
Why does an Aquarius deem it necessary to keep emotions to themselves, you guys are human after all so we go against what should be natural to all human beings? The aqua I know for certain is going through a hard time, this year and the last, yet he's spoken to no one about any of it.

I don't know if he's trying to be strong or just has no one to talk to. Everytime I bring up the subject he dismisses it straight away. I want to say he's trying to keep up appearances but even his best friend mentioned to he had not spoken to her about everything that has happened.

Even just briefly seeing him tonight as I would. Smiles and laughter and jokes but I know it's not him. His eyes, the way he avoids contact, the way he spins topics to a more superficial standpoint. Why can't he just TALK to someone about it. Every time his new friends seem to think he's simple and carefree but if only they can see through those sad eyes of his.

What are you guys so afraid of?

I'm not an aqua, but as a capricorn and a fellow winter sign, if you talk about it, then you have to deal with it, feel it and face the reality of it. So, shove it deep and bury it. Showing emotion makes you vulnerable, which is a weakness.

Plus, sometimes you can't talk about it until you know what it is you're feeling. Sometimes I have to sort things out in my head before I can talk about it. I reckon I just need to figure out why it hurts, or how does this make me feel (hard to put a label on feelings) or why does this make me feel that...If I don't know what I'm feeling, then I can't explain it to someone else.

Stop trying to push him to talk about something. Let him deal with things his way.

Besides, what makes you think you are special enough to be one of the few he actually would talk to anyway? For me, there are only three people in this whole world I would share my innermost true hardcore feelings with and even one of those three are questionable and only get bits and pieces. And those three aren't necessarily the most obvious people in my inner circle.

I know you wanted aqua opinions, but being neighbors on the zodiac wheel, this is one area that caps and aquas are very similar.

I guess what I'm saying is how do you know he hasn't talked to someone? He may have and you just don't know it.

^ Truecap knows it well. Emotions and processing = cannot compute yet. Must let it load before it all comes out.

Posted by Libhel
Thank you justagirl. I know he has a wall built like the wall of China and I can't blame him given his life events or ones I'm fortunate to learn about whilst being with him. Maybe that's what I adored about him, he's so complex so full of emotion yet he's never transferred any of that negativity on anybody.

I really worry about him because I did pry and find out his sister had passed almost a year ago and his mother isn't faring too well but everytime I ask him he'd just smile and joke "life can be a bitch sometimes". The more I ask around the more I begin to realise just how little we know about him and his real personal life.

Personally, I understand the need to keep it that way but help me understand how that is a good way to live!

If you had to pry to find out that stuff, then obviously he doesn't know you well enough, so no, you are not one of the very few he would open up to. Stop being nosy.

My aqua has the attitude if someone wants me to know something, then they will tell me. And that goes both ways, if he wants someone to know something about him, he will tell them. Otherwise, things best be left alone.

If you keep prying into his life, he will lose respect for you and it will take him longer to trust you (if ever) because, according to statements my aqua has made, his opinion is people that pry, tend not to be trustworthy because they like being in other people's business too much, which means they are nosey and like gossip and drama too much.

Thanks truecap, it does put things in perspective. We've worked out that was our falling out, HE was very blunt about it. I just get this feeling Aquas want to be understood and they are sensitive beyond belief when people can't understand them and they just discard people as being indifferent. Could be my Leo mars, he doesn't always push me away but I just wish he understands where I'm coming from.

I think they are sensitive, yes. We all are to some degree, regardless of sign. But they really appreciate it when they meet someone who naturally understands them without any effort being made, some who just gets them, no questions asked. I don't think they discard people as being indifferent, I think they understand people don't always understand them, it just is a treasure for them to find people that understand them.

I have aqua mars, so maybe it's easier for me to understand them since my mars is so strong in my chart.

And of course, I can't speak for them. What I said is just my impression.

Posted by Libhel
Why does an Aquarius deem it necessary to keep emotions to themselves, you guys are human after all so we go against what should be natural to all human beings? The aqua I know for certain is going through a hard time, this year and the last, yet he's spoken to no one about any of it.

I don't know if he's trying to be strong or just has no one to talk to. Everytime I bring up the subject he dismisses it straight away. I want to say he's trying to keep up appearances but even his best friend mentioned to he had not spoken to her about everything that has happened.

Even just briefly seeing him tonight as I would. Smiles and laughter and jokes but I know it's not him. His eyes, the way he avoids contact, the way he spins topics to a more superficial standpoint. Why can't he just TALK to someone about it. Every time his new friends seem to think he's simple and carefree but if only they can see through those sad eyes of his.

What are you guys so afraid of?

I have a hard time talking to people about small things let alone the the endless fathoms of my dark soul.

If I stopped and had a chat about my shit to anyone who was willing to listen I wouldn't get anything done.

I don't know about you, but I certainly don't tell my new friends about my shit straight off the bat, personally I think its rude.

Posted by WolfMoon
I don't hide my emotions I just don't like to talk about emotions, especially not my own! How do you feel? How are you? Is everything ok?? are questions that make me cringe because I WILL ask for help or ask if I can lean on a shoulder should I need to. I only talk when I want to or if I have something to say.

Can't agree more! It's not a mask or a deliberate attempt to make an appearance. Sometimes it's just that I don't know how to express my emotions, or simply don't feel the need to. Unless the expression them would help with my situations (usually it doesn't). I also feel like why I should burden the world with more negativity. In short, I only do things because it's logical or constructive, hate being whiny!